5. Kieran

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

I pace in the small atrium Lucien asked me to wait in, wondering if I can just make a break for it. They found my backpack outside. I'm not sure when the vamps dragged it off me.

I scowl and ball my hands into fists. I've already sent a text to Sam, who's unsurprisingly worried that I'm not back home yet. One to Pris, too. The last thing she needs is the Council sniffing around, wondering why she's been giving me stakes.

In her defence, she did tell us to go to the Council after I killed William. Sam was the one who shut her down, and it's so rare that he's that direct, I backed him up immediately.

The stakes were a precaution. One that was needed, as it turned out.

My leg hurts, but I'm just glad Tristan didn't break it. My head, too, from earlier, and a couple of places where he hit me—

My head snaps up when Lucien appears in the doorway. I don't know why, but now that he's here, I don't want to look anywhere else. He returns my gaze with some trepidation in his big green eyes and hesitates before he speaks.

"I have called a car around. You will need to give the driver your address."

I nod curtly. Something inside me is clamouring, desperate to get closer to Lucien and learn everything there is to know about him. Why did he look so panicked earlier? Where did he learn to unlock handcuffs like that?

I know better than to completely dismiss my instincts, but I can't see how this will lead anywhere good.

He's the first to break eye contact, gaze flicking to the floor and back up again. "Shall we go?"

I nod and wait for Lucien to turn and walk down the hall before I follow. I'm certain he doesn't like having me at his back, but having my eyes on him makes me feel more settled.

It's because I have eyes on a predator.

It has to be.

I follow him out of the clan house, scowling at the humans up front who side-eye me. Not my fault I was dragged in, is it? Clearly, the clan isn't as well-organised as I've always been led to believe.

A car idles at the kerb. I can tell the driver is human before Lucien even opens the door. He has none of their inherent grace and besides, he can't meet my gaze.

I climb in when it's clear Lucien isn't going to move, and when my eyes meet the driver's in the rear-view mirror, he quickly stares ahead at the road.

"Where to, chieftain?" he asks when Lucien shuts the door. There's only a little tremor in his voice.

Lucien looks at me expectantly.

I lean back in my seat, briefly debating whether to give them another address. They'd still be able to find me. I close my eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh before I rattle it off. The driver murmurs an assent, and I don't open my eyes again until I feel the car pull off and start moving down the road.

The side of my face prickles with the heaviness of being watched. I glance at Lucien and observe, fascinated, as a faint pink diffuses across his cheekbones. He looks away quickly.

"So did you glamour me back there or what?"

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know I've gone too far. For one, the driver's shoulders jump, and he lets out an audible gasp.

For another, Lucien turns to me with a look of undisguised horror painted across his pretty face.

"No!" The indignation in his voice doesn't sound fake. "I would never—"

I frown. "Why not? Adelaide seemed free to do whatever she wanted."

"She is not," Lucien growls. I sit up straighter, stomach fluttering at the low noise. "We are not permitted to glamour humans without express permission. To do it to other vampires… The only thing worse is to drain one of our own. Our crai did not ask me to glamour you. I asked you a question, and you responded."

My face heats now and I wonder if Lucien can see it on my more tanned skin. "All right, sorry," I mutter.

I just thought—I scowl to myself. I've never come so close to giving my name away before. It's been eleven years, but Lucien asked me one question and I almost let it spill.

Lucien lets out an irritated sound, turning his head to watch the buildings crawl by. I bite my cheek and try to push the guilty feeling away. I've made a vampire feel bad. So what?

I'm better off focusing on myself. Just because the clan's let me go, it doesn't mean they're going to leave me alone. I'll have to talk to Sam about it, see if he needs anything to help him bump up the wards.

That means nothing to the Council, though. I'm not sure if they have magic users, but the hunters alone are no joke. Sam and I have both steered clear of them and though I don't know Sam's reasons for wanting to keep his head down, I know my own.

The car comes to a stop in inevitable traffic, and I tap my fingers on my thigh. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lucien looking at me again. I don't look back at him. Has this all been for nothing?

No. I've killed nine vampires. Eight were turns the clan hadn't known about, eight vampires who would have killed who knows how many humans before the Council even worked out what they were up against.

Would they have figured out it was Tristan? Any of them?

But what will they do with me now?

I let out a frustrated sound and unbuckle my seatbelt with sharp movements. Then I'm throwing the car door open, storming out onto the road. The driver says something, but none of the traffic is moving, so I dart between cars, making it to the pavement.

I need to move. I need to get home.

I need—

A hand on my shoulder has me whirling around, but the snarl dies on my lips when I see Lucien standing there, head tilted to one side as he studies me closely. His hand isn't warm, not exactly, but its weight is welcome, helping to ground me.

I let out a shaky breath.

Lucien nods, and his eyes soften. "We can walk."

"You don't have to walk me all the way there," I say, hoping the silent vampire by my side will take the hint.

Lucien knows what I'm doing. The raised eyebrow and unimpressed look he gives me are proof enough of that. I sigh, shoving my hands deep in my pockets and trying to ignore my slight limp.

"Is it because you all think I'm such a big threat to vampires?" I ask snidely instead, wanting a reaction that's more than stony silence. We're around fifteen minutes away from my flat now, and I'm aching for my bed.

Aching from all the bruises, too. I clench my jaw. I've been neglecting my training, and it shows.

"No. If something were to happen to you tonight… Our crai has to think of the clan's reputation."

I snort. "Not surprising. Gotta look like your hands are clean, right?"

Lucien lets out another growl, and this time I duck my head to hide a grin. "Believe it or not, not all vampires wish to see humans suffer. We were like you once."

"Sure. How long ago, though?"

"Pardon?"

"How long ago were you… like me? Human?"

Lucien gives me a withering look. "Long enough ago."

"That's why Vasile sent you back with me? Why he asked you to interrogate me?"

"It was hardly an interrogation."

"So you have done one before?"

"It would appear you have not if this is how you go about it."

Lucien's voice is so dry it takes me a second to bark out a laugh. Mirth sparkles in his eyes and I shake my head, looking away.

"Fair," I say. "You're that close to him, then? Must be nice."

An expression flickers across Lucien's face so quickly that I almost don't catch it. Guilt seizes my chest. Sadness tightens the corners of his eyes and something about it gives me a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"It is," Lucien says finally. I'm sure he meant to say something else.

"We're not far. You really don't have to come the whole way."

"I was told to—"

"You have to do everything you're told?" My jaw clenches.

Lucien frowns. "Why would I disobey an order from my crai?"

I don't have an answer to that. I turn my face away, resigning myself to silence.

We remain that way for a few minutes, but tension grows between us, the urge building in Lucien to ask—what?

"How did you do it?" he blurts out and I look at him sharply.

"How did I do what?"

"How did you break the cuffs?"

Shit. I should've known better, but in my defence, I definitely thought they were going to let Tristan kill me.

I don't really have an answer for him, anyway.

"I don't… I guess they were fragile."

"You are lying."

I stop short to stare at him. "Excuse me?"

Lucien stops too. It takes some effort for him to meet my gaze, but once he does, he holds it. "You broke the cuffs on purpose. You know why you are able to."

Yeah, I broke them on purpose. And, yeah, humans shouldn't be able to break iron the way I did, but… I'm human.

I am.

It's been made very clear.

"So?" I deflect. "What does it matter?"

"If you were a hunter, you would work for the Council. They would not allow you in London otherwise. So you are human. How would you even have the strength to do that?"

I clench my jaw again. The throbbing in my head is developing into a full-on headache. "It doesn't matter."

Lucien simply looks at me.

"It doesn't! What matters is that this is over, right? It matters that Tristan and Adelaide have been caught because we both know they shouldn't have been getting away with all the shit they were pulling."

Lucien shakes his head. "They might be executed," he says, and when he starts walking again, it takes me a second to catch up.

"What?"

"I told you in the car. It is a serious crime to glamour other members of your clan. The same goes for turning humans without permission, particularly with the intentions Tristan had. He had no emergency dispensation. If they refuse to submit to punishment, then their lives are forfeit."

He speaks clearly, evenly, but there's something about the rhythm…

It's like he's trying to detach himself from the truth of what he's saying.

Is he close to them? It's not the impression I got in the hall, but then what do I know?

"Well, that's something, at least," I mutter.

"It is no longer a matter for you to worry about," Lucien replies. "You are lucky that you were brought before the clan, this time. They might have killed you, too."

Yeah, no shit. I shake my head. "Pretty sure they tried that."

"What do you mean?"

"All those turns showing up around here?" I shrug. "I think they were betting on me being killed—either by them or by someone else in your clan."

Lucien frowns. "That makes no sense."

"Why not?"

"Because we would not—" He looks up and down the empty street, as though whatever he's about to tell me is a deep secret. "We would have to contact the Council before we took action. Even had you murdered a vampire in front of us, that would be the case. You are human. You are their responsibility."

"Good job I can look after myself, then," I say as we round the corner. My building is the third along, and when I step off the street, Lucien frowns and comes to a halt.

"You are certain you will be safe inside?"

"You've got them under lock and key, right? What's there to worry about?"

Lucien just looks at me.

I sigh. "Yes, I'll be fine. And you're not coming in."

I don't know why I add the last part; my mouth is running away from me. Lucien tilts his head like he doesn't understand.

"I did not presume I would be."

"Yeah, sure. Like your clan doesn't want to keep tabs on me now. I wasn't going out looking for vampires, you know."

Lucien takes a step closer, and I tilt my head back to look up into his face. He really is pretty, up close, and I like that he's a little taller than me. I'd have to lean up, to really mean it…

"I know," Lucien says softly. "You made that clear."

I bite the inside of my cheek. My instincts are going haywire, but I know I need to go inside, let Sam know everything that happened tonight, and never spare another thought for Lucien again.

"Kieran," Lucien says and stops.

I can't help the way my heart pounds against my ribs. Lucien must be able to hear it. There's a pull inside me, something I've never felt before.

I have just enough sense of mind to take a deliberate step back, further up the path, and the tingle that washes over me helps clear my mind.

"It was nice to meet you, Lucien. I think."

"You too." Lucien sounds dazed. He takes a step forward and his face creases into a frown as he hits the wards that surround our building. "What is this?"

I shrug. "Like I said, you're not coming in. No other vampire is, either."

He narrows his eyes. "You have wards?"

"Yep." I pop the P just to be obnoxious. "Let the others know if you want. They're not getting to me here."

"Kieran, we do not wish to—"

"Like I said, it was nice to meet you." I let my eyes move over Lucien slowly, fixated for a second on the way he swallows. "But it could've been under better circumstances."

"Of course," Lucien says faintly.

"And no offence, but I kinda hope we don't run into each other again."

Lucien manages a smile, then tilts his head to one side. A car pulls up to the kerb, idling in the otherwise silent night, but he doesn't turn towards it.

"If we do, I will tell you how long I have been a vampire," he says.

I laugh despite myself. The smile Lucien gives me for that is brighter, somehow more real, and I want to bask in that expression for as long as I can.

"Good night, Kieran," he says.

"Good night, Lucien."

I watch Lucien walk to the car. It pulls away and a breath shudders out of me before I let myself into the building.

Sam leaps up from the sofa when I let myself in, barrelling into me so hard my back hits the door. "The fuck is going on?" The words are muffled by the way his face is pressed against my chest and I laugh, patting his shoulder gently.

"Sorry. Took me longer than I thought to get back."

He steps back and I look him over as I kick off my shoes. He's as pale as any vampire, what with all the time he spends inside, and right now, his dark blond hair is messy, and he's swimming in yet another one of my hoodies.

He grins when he sees me notice.

"I put it in the wash today. Then I got cold."

"If you didn't wear shorts all the time, you wouldn't be." I drop my backpack by the door and throw myself into the chair next to the sofa.

Instant mistake. I let out a pained groan when I jostle my ribs and Sam is by my side straight away, looking me over with concern.

"What happened?"

"The clan caught up to me."

"Yeah, I got that." Sam perches on the edge of the sofa. "And what, they beat you up?"

I sigh and go through everything that's happened in the past few hours. By the time I've finished, Sam's hands are clenched together so tightly in his lap that his knuckles have gone white.

"What the fuck?" he says, and I nod at the sentiment. "If I'd known none of them knew…"

"Yeah, I know. I figured the Council had some idea. But looks like it was all Tristan and Adelaide and whatever the fuck they've got going on."

Sam nods vacantly before his eyes meet mine. "So what, it's over? Just like that?"

"Just like that," I repeat. "I mean, I guess so. Tristan and Adelaide are locked up. It's the clan's problem now."

Sam rocks back on the sofa. His eyes snag on my side again. "Sure you're okay?"

"Fine. Or I will be. He got a couple of hits in, but I think I'm just tired."

It's only half a lie. My head is mostly better now, and my side and my leg will stop hurting tomorrow.

I suspect Sam knows that, too. It's one of the things we don't talk about.

"I'm fine," I say, putting emphasis on the words.

Sam nods. "Yeah, okay. So why didn't you come in as soon as you came through the wards?"

Ah, shit. I do my best to keep my expression neutral. "I was just saying goodbye."

"To whom?"

My ears get warm. "Uh. The clan leader told one of the vampires to bring me back."

"He did?"

"Yeah. I guess they want to make sure I'm not gonna go on a rampage… What?"

Sam grins at me, propping his chin on his hand. "Sent you back with a hottie, huh?"

"I do not think he's hot."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam snorts and stands. When he stretches, my hoodie pulls up high enough to reveal the hem of his shorts. They're basically hotpants, and I know they'll have some kind of crazy saying printed right over his arse.

Subtle, Sam is not.

"Cuppa?" he asks.

"Please."

Sam goes over to the kitchen, in the corner of our open-plan—aka small—living room and I tip my head back to stare at the ceiling. Okay, I can admit I find Lucien hot. That's the point, right? The more attractive they are, the easier it is for them to lure in their prey.

Still, hotness aside, it doesn't explain the curling desire in my belly, and it definitely doesn't explain the need I felt to wrap Lucien close, to push him behind me and keep him safe.

And yet, I'm certain I scared him. Not all night, but off and on throughout it. I close my eyes, ignoring the dull throb of pain I still feel.

What does it matter?

I'm not going to see Lucien ever again.