19. Kieran

I wake the next morning with Lucien's pretty face still swimming in my mind. For a moment, I just lie there, pressing the heels of my hands into my closed eyes as if that will sear the image there forever.

My heart is pounding in my chest. My chest, which feels somehow empty when I realise he's not here, that it's the middle of the day and I won't see him for hours yet.

I sit up, face flushed at the thought. What am I doing? I shouldn't have kissed him last night. Sure, we're attracted to each other, but we've both clearly got our own reasons for not wanting to complicate things.

An echo of Lucien's quiet moan sounds in my ears and I drop my face into my hands with a groan. Fuck. I'm fucked. I know myself well enough to know I'm not going to fight it—the next time I see him, I'm going to kiss him again.

And he's going to kiss me back, isn't he?

I shake my head and climb out of bed, grunting hello to Sam as I head into the bathroom. I only bothered putting on pyjama bottoms the night before, which leaves the scar on my throat—now that all the makeup has rubbed off—exposed. I frown at my reflection in the mirror, rubbing my finger over it.

It's a good reminder of what I'm risking, following this path. How am I supposed to explain this away?

I shake my head and jump in the shower, and when I pass Sam again, he's on a video call with what sounds like both Ophelia and Dante. Carey. I send her a quick text; I don't know if she's awake yet.

How are you feeling this morning?

It's only a few minutes before she replies.

All good. Going to look like I got a love bite with the plaster I've slapped on. See you at work tonight?

You're coming?

Still need to get paid, so yeah. I really do feel fine. You grabbed him quickly.

Not quickly enough. He shouldn't have bitten her at all.

Yeah, I know.

See you tonight. Try not to get eaten on your way to work.

He hasn't managed to get me yet.

Oh, I mean the other vampire.

She follows up with a winky face and I huff a laugh, rolling my eyes.

As if Lucien and I could…

I shake my head when heat jolts in my belly. Nope. I get to my feet, shoving my phone in my pocket. I'm sure Sam hasn't eaten yet, so I head out into the living room to make us breakfast.

He's still chatting away to Ophelia and Dante, trying to find out about any old vampires that might exist across the country, so I wander into the kitchen and, after a glance at the time, start putting lunch together instead. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, he's barely slept, and between that and the way he fought off the mage, as well as adjusting the wards, I wonder how long it'll be before he crashes.

When I put a plate over his laptop keyboard, he frowns up at me. Ophelia laughs at his expression—I'm not in view of the camera—and Sam turns his scowl on her.

My phone rings just as I'm about to take a bite of my sandwich. Shit. Has something happened at the clan house?

If I thought my heart was beating quickly before, it feels like it's about to explode out of my chest when I pull the phone out of my pocket and see Drew's name on the screen.

I shove my plate aside, almost knocking it to the floor as I jump to my feet. Sam frowns, but I shake my head—this isn't his problem—and head for my bedroom. I don't answer the call until I've shut the door behind me.

"Hello?"

"Kieran?" Drew's voice is deeper than I remember. It shakes a little, and my name sounds clumsy on his tongue.

"Yeah, it's me," I say softly. "It's… It's good to hear from you."

"I can't believe you picked up."

I sit on the edge of my bed. My heart squeezes and I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "I would never just ignore you, Drew. You know that."

Drew is quiet. He can't know that, I suppose, though it hurts to think it.

"You wouldn't be wrong to."

I don't have an answer to that, except that of course I would be, that my teen brother yelling angry things at me to try to force me out because he wanted to save me doesn't mean he ever meant them.

I don't think he'll believe me.

"What's going on, Drew?"

"I'm going to try to leave on the next full moon."

"On it?"

"Well, no. The next night. They'll all be knackered from the night before. I can do it."

"I'm sure you can." Despite the instinctive fear that threatens to choke me, I don't doubt him. He's the one still living up there. He knows better than I do. "Won't you be tired, too?"

Drew laughs. It's faint, strained, but there all the same. He mutters something I don't catch, then sighs. "I'm coming. And I know you can't tell me where to go right now, but if I get to Manchester, can you send me a bus ticket?"

"Yes. Yeah, I'll do that." Some of the tension eases from my shoulders. I trust that Drew really wants to leave, and if he has my number, then I trust that he's not about to sell me out, but there's always the slimmest of chances that he could tell the others where I am.

If anyone even cares.

"When's the next full moon?" I ask.

Drew snorts. "Figured you'd know. Three weeks."

"All right. Call, text, whatever. I'll sort the ticket and I'll meet you at the station when you get here, okay?"

Drew goes silent for a long moment. "Thank you," he says, voice thick. "I didn't think you—I mean, I hoped you would, but—"

"I'll be there, Drew," I say firmly. My eyes burn and I blink down at the carpet. "I promise. And I promise that no matter what's happening up there, you'll be safe here, too."

I think back to Lucien telling me I'd be safe last night. He can't promise that. I can't promise this.

Drew seems to know it. He laughs again, and it's tearful but honest. "I know," he says, almost like he believes me. "Look, I've got to go now, but I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Yeah, okay. Day or night, Drew. I'm here. I'll answer."

"Thanks."

We say our goodbyes and I slump back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling again. My chest aches. I rub it slowly, turning over the conversation in my mind.

I don't know what has Drew wanting to leave now—maybe our father has finally lost it—but that's something to deal with when he arrives. For now, I need to find Tristan, and maybe Adelaide. I need to work out what to do with Lucien.

I need to talk to Sam.

I let out a heavy sigh and get to my feet. Best to get that one over with.

When I go back into the living room, Sam's done with the call. He's eaten his sandwich, too, I'm glad to see. He frowns up at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah, uh… There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Is it about Lucien? Because I'm torn between yeah, you definitely should hit that and the fact that he seems terrified about any of the other vampires finding out about you."

I frown. Does he? It doesn't matter.

"No. It's my brother."

Sam sits up a little straighter and sets his laptop aside, all his attention on me. "Your brother?"

"Yeah. Drew. He's—There are some problems back home. I don't know what. He wants to come here in a few weeks."

"Problems. Like you had?"

Sam doesn't know the finer details of what happened, but he was there the night I showed up at Pris's door. He saw how beat up I was, made me food, and I guess we both decided we'd stick together after that.

"They won't be problems like I had," I say sardonically. I sit in the seat I left, but my sandwich is suddenly unappealing.

It's not just about Drew coming here and suddenly being part of my life again, though I can admit that something about that is almost… scary. No. It's everything that will inevitably come along with him. Drew's presence will let a lot of people know exactly what I've been keeping hidden.

"He's going to need to stay here. I don't know for how long."

"Yeah, that's fine," Sam says lightly. "I mean, if he's okay staying on the sofa."

"I'll probably—"

"Kieran." Sam's voice is firm, and I look at him again. "He's your brother, right? And you care about him, more importantly."

"Yeah, I do."

"So we'll look after him. We've managed all right by ourselves so far."

"You say that like there's not a psychotic vampire out to murder us."

"Eh," Sam replies. His eyes sparkle when he shrugs. "You win some, you lose some."

"We're not gonna lose this one."

"No, we're not. Just so long as we can find him. It's like he's going to ground between attacks."

Going to ground? I frown. Something about the words sparks a thought, but I can't hold onto it right now.

Maybe later.

Lucien is already waiting when I step out of the building, and my stomach flutters at the sight of him. I frown. I have to keep it together.

His smile is tentative, as though he's unsure how he'll be received. I smile back, fighting the urge to lean into him. I still have to go to work.

"How are you?" His voice is hushed.

"Good. You?"

He nods. I bite the inside of my cheek to fight a smile. This is… awkward. At best. I'm not sure laughing at the whole situation will help, either.

When I start walking, he drops into step beside me. I've spent most of the day torn between thinking about Drew and thinking about Lucien, but I've also had an idea. We might have been looking for Tristan in all the wrong places.

"Did you get into much trouble last night?"

Lucien jumps, clearly not expecting me to speak. He pulls a face. "Not exactly. I fear… Vasile is concerned about the fact that I did not go to the club with you. About the fact that I allowed you to try to lure Tristan out at all."

"Allowed?"

Lucien's little smile makes my heart beat faster. "He was more concerned for Adam, of course, and by the fact that a human was injured."

"And what about Deacon getting involved?" I've barely thought about the alpha, but I don't like that he's now got some idea of who I am.

Especially considering that idea is less than positive.

"He is not pleased about that."

"I don't get it. I thought the point of the treaty is that the vampires, wolves, and hunters are all supposed to work together?"

"Well, yes, but the reality is more complicated than that. The truth is, I have never seen Vasile and Alpha Deacon in a room together. When we have had to work with the wolves—which has not happened often—then we either liaise with the Council or with Deacon's beta, Chaya."

"Huh." I frown up at him. "I didn't know that."

Lucien shrugs one shoulder. His hand is precariously close to mine, and I want to take it. "I think most vampires are aware that Vasile and Deacon do not interact in public, but they either assume they speak in private or that is simply the way their positions should be."

"And you don't?"

Lucien purses his lips but shakes his head. "I do not. Vasile is as civil with Chaya as he is with any of the hunters. I do not know why he and Deacon do not speak."

I huff. "Well, we could take a guess."

When I look at Lucien again, his expression is almost scandalised. I laugh. "Come on! Either they've tried to kill each other or they've f—"

Lucien's hand covers my mouth before I can say the word, which only makes me laugh harder. A smile twitches at the corner of his lips and his other hand is firm on my shoulder, holding me in place.

I raise an eyebrow. Now that he's got me, what's he planning on doing with me? He seems to come to the same conclusion a second later, a flush stealing its way into his cheeks.

Fuck, I like that. I like how pretty he is, even if there's something vicious beneath. Hell, that only makes me like him more. He moves his hand from my mouth and turns it to cradle my cheek, his thumb stroking over my cheekbone.

"Kieran, I—"

A car beeps and we both jump, Lucien's hand falling back to his side. Carey cackles as she rounds the corner and I narrow my eyes.

"I'm gonna kill her."

Lucien huffs a laugh. "You will not. Besides, it is probably for the best."

"Oh?"

"I would not wish to be the reason you were late for work."

I snort and give him an awkward little wave as I head over to Carey, who's standing next to her car. A grin stretches her face, and aside from the plaster I can see on her neck, she really doesn't look any worse for wear after last night.

She pushes off from her car, tossing her own wave Lucien's way.

"I can't believe you did that," I hiss. I'm fairly sure Lucien will be able to hear us until we're inside the shop.

"Wouldn't want to be working all on my lonesome," she teases. She pinches my side and laughs when I gently push her away.

"How's—"

"Fine," she says, hand rising to poke at the plaster. "Give it a few days and it'll be like it never happened."

"That quick?"

"Like you're one to talk."

We exchange a look. There's no one down by the lockers, but that doesn't mean we'll be alone for long. Carey sighs and grabs my arm, dragging me into the break room. When she shuts the door and then just stares at me, I shrug.

"What?"

"Go on, ask."

"I wasn't—"

"But you want to."

Yeah, I do. I never will, though, if she doesn't want me to. Her chin juts forward, dark eyes flashing as she dares me to do it.

"Okay, fine. What are you, then?"

"Human."

I throw my arms up in the air, but she shakes her head. "No, I am, I just… There's fae in us. Somewhere. My mum's side."

Fae? I frown. "What do you mean, fae?"

"What do you mean, what do you—" Her eyes go wide. "Oh. You didn't know?"

"Didn't think they were real," I mutter. It's not like I've ever seen one before.

"Sam's fae-blessed though, right? You must've—" She cuts herself off quickly, her face going red as it dawns on her that I don't know that, either. "Shit. Don't tell him I said anything, okay? If he doesn't want you to know…"

"Yeah, I get it." Not like I haven't got secrets of my own. "Carey, I—"

"Don't care." She grins. "I guess I sort of panicked when he bit me. Mum always says to be careful. There's too much magic in our blood. They can get addicted, dangerous."

"Why couldn't the others tell what you are, then?"

"Too much magic in our blood compared to humans," she clarifies, "But I can't do anything with it, and if you're not drinking it, then I don't know. It's not like we know if Tristan even noticed or not."

"And you're sure you're okay?"

"Kieran, I'm fine. I promise."

I nod and she takes that as her cue to open the break room door and step out into the hall again. I follow her, shoving my coat into an empty locker.

"Wanna know what time Vince got in today?" Carey closes her locker and heads for the stairs.

"Sure. What time?"

Carey cackles, shoving her phone back in her pocket. "He didn't. He's still there."

I snort. Well, to each his own, though I tell myself I'll make sure to check up on him. I'm due at the gym tomorrow, and he should be working, too.

The next few hours pass in a haze of tidying the shop, running over to serve the trickle of customers nipping in for essentials on a Sunday night, and thinking through my plan.

I'm trying not to think about the fae. Like we don't have enough to deal with.

The plan, though—It's not foolproof, and it's a longshot, but at least I'm not out to try to piss Tristan off this time.

Every time I pass the windows, I turn my head, looking for Lucien in the darkness. I know where he stands. There's a narrow alley opposite the shop, and I feel as if even if I didn't know, my eyes would still be drawn to that spot.

There's something between us. Something I can't quite define, and something I don't want to.

Carey doesn't even bother asking if I want a lift when we leave. Lucien joins me on the street and we both watch her drive off.

"I've got an idea," I say before Lucien can ask me how my shift was. "About how we can catch Tristan."

He frowns at me. I start walking, partly because it's cold and partly because I need to burn off some of the nervous energy suddenly coursing through me. "What is it? Deacon wishes to get the wolves involved in hunting. If we all work together, it should not be long before we catch him."

"I think we're looking in the wrong place."

"How?"

"Not the wrong place as such…" I shake my head. "I know he's after me. I get it. But while he's got the mage with him, he's got the advantage."

Lucien nods.

"But what if we find where he's been hiding?"

"That could be anywhere in the city. I do not know the limits of teleportation magic, but—"

"No, I get that. You're right. But I don't think he is anywhere in the city. I think he's nearby."

"Why?"

I hold up my hand, ticking off the reasons on my fingers. "He's after me, so this saves the mage teleporting them back and forth. I don't know exactly how it works, but from what Sam said, I'd guess that it'll take more energy the further the distance."

"Right…"

"The vampire from last night. Vasile doesn't know who they are?"

Lucien frowns. "He did not give me any more information, but I know there is no one visiting the city who has announced themselves to the clan."

"See! So we have a vampire out to kill me—and Adelaide's just up and left—but what if someone else was pulling the strings?"

"Why would you—"

"I don't know any old vampires, Lucien. And yeah, I killed William and that's why Tristan is mad at me, but it doesn't make sense for an old vampire to want to kill me. Unless Tristan is working for them. Whoever they are."

"You are making leaps."

"You're gonna hate this next one, then."

Lucien sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. I grin. "Go on."

"There's an abandoned tube station not far from here."

Lucien's eyes shoot open.

"There are a few of them around the city. They're boarded up, and there'll be plenty of spots to hide in that are dark during the day."

"You think he is in one of those?"

"I think it's a possibility."

"I do not know how I will rationalise this to Vasile."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "Maybe you… don't?"

Lucien looks at me sharply. "What?"

"Look, we're not breaking any rules if we go check it out. I'll ask Sam to come with us in case the mage is there. Worst-case scenario, we don't find him."

"You think that is the worst-case scenario?"

I shrug. "Sure."

Lucien scoffs. He strides ahead of me, and I frown, moving a little faster to catch up. "What?"

"The worst-case scenario is not that we do not find him." Lucien comes to a sudden halt and grabs the front of my coat, dragging me close. "The worst-case scenario is that, yet again, he gets the upper hand. He has already killed vampires. Humans, too."

"He won't kill me."

"You are not invincible."

"Trust me, I know. But he won't kill me. And I need this to be over, Lucien. Soon."

Lucien's expression shifts, eyes narrowing. "Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you need this to be done so quickly?"

"I've not exactly been sitting around and—"

"Kieran." Lucien's voice softens. He lets go of my shirt and his hand comes to rest on the back of my neck. I want to melt into the touch even as a lump forms in my throat. "Tell me."

I hold his gaze for a heartbeat before I look away. "My brother's coming here."

Lucien squeezes my neck. "You want him to be safe."

"If he's coming here, it's because he isn't safe there," I say. I still can't look at Lucien, but I need him to know this. If I want to give whatever's between us a shot, I need to try. "I promised him he'd be protected here."

"Kieran…"

"I know! I know I shouldn't have made a promise like that, but he's my little brother and I—"

The words stick in my throat when Lucien's mouth lands on mine. It's not a kiss like the one we shared last night. It's firmer, grounding, a touch meant to remind me that, actually, I'm not alone.

My hands shake when he pulls back. "We will go," he says, expression serious. "But we will take precautions, you understand?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I've got it."