Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Lila

I want to shout from the rooftops as I step into the late summer heat, clutching the best news of my life. The late summer sun warms my face, but the joy quickly chills as I realize I have no one to share this moment with—no one except my roommate's boyfriend.

When did I become so isolated?

No best friend is waiting with a bottle of champagne.

No special guy is sweeping me off my feet with a congratulatory kiss.

No family is enveloping me in a tight, proud embrace.

The realization hits harder than I expected—a punch straight to the gut. The funniest part, perhaps the saddest, is that I never cared. I've been so consumed with putting in hours, saving every dime, and being a mom to Jake that I didn't notice the world closing in.

I've been so focused on the goal that I forgot about the journey. The sacrifices I made, the connections I lost, all to get to this point. And now, standing here with zero friends around me, I feel the weight of those choices. There's supposed to be a balance, right? A way to achieve your dreams without losing yourself in the process.

I haven't found that balance yet.

But maybe it's not too late. Perhaps I can start working on that now, open myself up to meeting new people, dip my toes back into the dating field, and reconnect with the world around me. It just won't be with the guy standing next to me.

"So you'll get me that business plan next week, and we'll proceed from there."

I smile up at Jett. "Yes, I'll get the proposal to you next week."

"And are you sure I can't change your mind about next Friday?"

The date.

This is tricky. I didn't want to chance Jett denying my loan request, but he doesn't seem like the type to blackmail women into dates. He's a good-looking guy who went through a divorce two years ago, all of which I found out over coffee.

I turned him down by using the age-old excuse of not mixing business with pleasure. I thought it had worked. Guess I should've known better.

I open my mouth to turn down his offer, but Drake steps beside me before I have a chance to speak.

"There you are." Drake places his hand on the swell of my back and turns toward Jett, his free hand extended for a shake. "You must be the guy making our girl's dreams come true."

Our girl? What the hell is he getting at?

A noise that vaguely resembles a laugh escapes my lips. My smile is tight as Jett gapes at Drake.

"Y-y-you're Drake Gunner." His gaze bounces from Drake to me and back to Drake before registering Drake's gesture. As if snapping from a trance, Jett shakes his hand, rushing his words. "Yes, yes. I'm getting Lila all squared away. She's a hard worker, and I think she has what it takes to make things happen."

"She sure does." Drake draws the words out, and I can practically feel his smirk as he stares at me. I don't know whether to be charmed or pissed. I'm leaning toward the latter. But the slight pressure from his fingers against my back awakens my desire, and I have to fight the urge to lean into his touch.

"Well, I can see why you turned me down." Jett winks. Drake's body stiffens. And I want to melt right into the concrete.

Not thinking, I say, "Oh, we aren't?—"

"Open to sharing."

My head snaps toward Drake. What the actual fuck? His fingers press deeper into my back as if to say he has this, but seriously, what is he doing?

"Oh, no. I didn't mean that." Jett stumbles over his words.

Drake Gunner is a dead man. I'm going to fucking kill him.

"He's joking," I say. "I'll get you the information next week. Do you want me to drop them off at the bank?"

"I can pick them up when I bring in Max. That's no problem." He turns to Drake. "It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Same." Drake nods.

Once Jett is out of sight, I spin to face my ex-boyfriend. "What the hell was that?"

His eyes glint with mischief as he stares at me with nothing but a smile, totally unfazed by my anger. "What? I was helping you out. You looked like a deer in headlights when he asked you out."

Helping me out?

"You were marking your territory," I snap.

Drake shrugs, his grin unrelenting. "Maybe I was." His voice is casual as if he hadn't just disrupted my business meeting and made things incredibly awkward.

I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment and anger. I want to yell at Drake and wipe that smug grin off his face, but part of me is still reeling from the feel of his hand on my back, the sight of those brown eyes flickering with … something.

"Drake, you're with Miranda. What are you doing?"

He holds my stare. "I think we both know that relationship isn't going anywhere."

My mouth gapes as I struggle with what to say. His words caught me off guard. Is he going to break up with her? Is that what I want?

He closes the distance between us, and I know it's wrong, but I can't help the way my heart races when he's nearby—the slight tremble in my body, the fluttering in my chest.

He's always been the one to elicit these desires. No one has ever compared.

"I was on my way to break up when a damsel in distress interrupted me."

"Me? A damsel in distress?" I cross my arms over my chest and raise an eyebrow, trying to break his hold on me. "You must have me confused with some other blonde."

The corner of his mouth twitches, but his gaze remains serious. "I'm not confused." He reaches out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear, his touch sending a jolt of warmth rushing through me. "You've never needed saving. But that doesn't mean you don't deserve someone who wants to be there for you, anyway."

The proclamation leaves me speechless.

And I'm fucking gone. He owns me, and I don't even care.

"I'm breaking up with Miranda because it's not fair for me to be with her when…" He trails off, a line forming between his brow as he searches for the right words.

"When what?" I prompt, my heart pounding so hard I swear I can feel it in my throat.

"When you're the only one I could ever love." He states it simply, as though it were a simple fact rather than a gut-punch revelation.

His declaration hangs between us for what feels like an eternity. And then I remember how to breathe.

"Drake," I begin, my voice quiet and shaky. "You can't just say something like that."

"Why not?" He backs far enough away to run a hand through his messy hair in frustration. "It's true. You're all I ever think about."

I shake my head, not trusting the words he's saying.

"When I'm at home, in my hotel room." He drops his voice. "In my shower, it's always you."

"Drake." His name is a plea.

"Did you ever wonder why I never became serious with anyone?" He pauses, but I don't respond. "That's because no other woman measured up to you."

I blink, shocked by his admission. "Me?" I let out a disbelieving laugh. "You're blaming me for your player status?"

He pulls me closer, so close now that I can see the flecks of gold in his chocolate-brown eyes. "Yes," he replies, his voice rough with emotion.

My heart skips a beat at his confirmation. It feels like a cyclone is whirling inside my chest, uprooting everything I thought I knew.

"What I remember is you moving on quickly after our split. I saw the photos online. Girls on your lap. You looked rather cozy."

"I thought you were with Roy. Trust me. Had I known differently, I would have been on your doorstep in a heartbeat, Lila." His thumb brushes my cheek, his touch tender and intimate. "Just the thought of you with him … it was unbearable. So I tried to forget. I tried to drink you away. Fuck you away."

His honesty cuts me deep, his pain reflected in my heartache. The reality of our past mistakes hovers between us, thick and oppressive.

"You're not making this easy," I murmur, looking away as tears well up.

"Good," he says with conviction, his fingers brushing against my cheek to wipe away a wayward tear. "Because easy isn't what I want. I want complicated and messy. I want real. And you're the realest thing I've ever known, Lila."

I look up at him, blinking through the wet sheen in my eyes. His brown orbs hold my gaze with desperation and undeniable truth.

"I need you to understand something," he continues, tugging me closer until we are just a breath apart. "It doesn't matter how many times you push me away or how many mistakes we've made in the past. What matters is what we feel. What I feel toward you. Apparently, time and distance haven't changed that."

The convicted way he professes his feelings leaves a lump in my throat. It's as if the walls around my heart crumble down bit by bit with each word he says.

"I can't promise you anything right now, Drake," I finally say, meeting his intense gaze with a soft one of my own.

He gives me a slight, understanding nod before leaning down. His mouth is so close to mine that I feel his breath. I bring my lips to his, but he shifts and kisses my forehead tenderly. My body stills as I fight the urge to back away. Did I read him wrong? I thought he wanted to kiss me.

"That's okay," he murmurs against my skin. "I can wait."

He pulls away enough to look at me. His breathing heavy. "God, I want to kiss you right now."

Okay, so I hadn't misread the situation. Jutting my chin forward, I ask, "What's stopping you?"

"When I kiss you, I want it to be just us. You deserve my full attention, and I promise to provide." His grin turns wicked. "Besides, if the roles were reversed, and you were thinking about another guy, I'd be pissed."

God save that man's soul.

"Hmm, I heard in a song that as long as it's only in your mind, it isn't cheating."

"Not sure I agree with that because I don't want you thinking of another guy while my lips are on you, especially when I'm buried deep inside that tight little cunt of yours."

Holy Mary, Mother of God.

I'm left breathless, my heart pounding like a drum as his words send a hot flush up my neck and into my cheeks.

"Drake," I scold weakly, but he just chuckles, an indistinct sound that sends shivers down my spine.

"Come on, Hayes," he murmurs, his eyes dark and intense as they hold my gaze. "Admit it. You want me just as much."

I just shake my head. "I think we have some matters to take care of first," I say through a groan.

"I'll handle Miranda when we get back." His tone is firm and resolute, his gaze unwavering. "But I don't want to go into this with unfinished business between us."

I practically melt at the words but find the strength to nod. "Me neither. But she's going to kick me out. Maybe we should wait until after I get the loan secured."

His fingers gently brush against mine, the touch sending sparks up my arm and making me acutely aware of the space that separates us. He smiles at me, a small, intimate gesture that leaves me breathless with anticipation.

"I don't want to wait. If things get awkward, you can move in with me."

"I … what?" I stutter, taken aback by his bold proposal. I gape at him as shocked laughter bubbles up deep within me. "You are insane."

"Maybe," he concedes with a nonchalant shrug, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "But I'm serious, Lila. Why wait? You and me, we've waited long enough."

My mind whirls with the implications of his offer. Moving in with Drake Gunner, the very man I've been carefully distancing myself from—it's ludicrous. And yet … my heart flutters at the prospect.

"I … I can't just…" I start, but the words get stuck in my throat. Drake looks at me with his steady gaze, and everything else falls away for a moment.

"Let's see what happens after I tell her. Who knows, maybe she'll handle it well."

"You don't know your girlfriend too well, do you?" I take off toward the parking garage. This is wild. Girlfriend. Moving in together. What even is this life?

"Hey." He reaches out to hold my hand, and I let him. His touch is so familiar; it sends shivers down my spine as memories dance through my mind. "This is just another hiccup we have to endure. We'll get through it."

I nod. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, this is fast, but I'm willing to try." I owe it to myself to see where it leads. Lord knows I haven't moved on yet. I'll either find closure or feel complete.

"We'll get it figured out."

We reached his car when I remembered my car was back in the parking lot, broken. "I also need to figure out my car."

"I took care of it."

"You did what?" I halt and stare up at him in disbelief.

He shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant, but a smug smile tugs at his lips. "I called a tow truck when you were in your meeting. It's being taken to the shop. They said they'll have it fixed by tomorrow."

"Drake…" I sigh heavily, feeling both exasperated and grateful. I don't know how to deal with this man who seems to enjoy inserting himself into my life without warning or permission. But then again, if he hadn't shown up today…

I shake the thought away, not wanting to admit how much I needed him earlier. How much I still need him.

"Why did you do that?" I finally mutter, looking away from his intense gaze.

"I told you," he says, reaching over to lift my chin so I can meet his gaze again. "You deserve someone who wants to be there for you."

His words echo the ones he said earlier and fill me with a sense of warmth that I can't deny. I study his features—the rugged sharpness of his jawline softened by the shadowy stubble, the tousled mess of his dark hair, and those compelling brown eyes that have seen me at my best and worst.

"Thank you."

He opens the passenger door for me, and I slide into the seat.

"Let's get Jake."

"Oh, he was spending the night there."

"I guess all that's left is facing Miranda."

"Are you ready for her wrath?"

"Nope, not at all."

I chuckle as he shuts my door and jogs to the driver's side. As we take off, part of me knows this won't end well. There is a lot to work out.

I still have to tell him about Jake's heritage. And even though the man next to me isn't technically mine, I don't feel so alone for the first time since Darci's death.