Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Drake

"Well, Les, I don't know what happened this week, but we need to regroup and come back stronger."

"Talk about a head scratcher. All isn't lost, Joe, but we certainly don't need more series like those."

"There's still a couple of months left to play, so we'll shake off this series and get 'em at home."

"Sounds like a plan. Well, folks, that's a wrap. This is Les…"

"And Joe."

"Signing off for now. We'll catch you at Fenway."

"Let that shit go." Rappel raises his beer to his mouth and eyes the bottles of liquor lining the shelves behind the bartender. The hotel bar isn't overly crowded, which is good. I'm in no mood to socialize.

"The guy is a dick," I manage to grunt out, drink in hand.

We just got off a brutal five-game loss with Kaplan in the rotation. Once again, he blamed me for his wild pitches. I took the blame for the passed ball last time, but the errors were all on him this time. I'm not a fucking acrobat behind the plate.

"Yeah, that's been established." Rappel takes a drink and pops his bottle on the table. "I'm pretty sure the day he was born, the planets aligned to spell the word dickhead."

I chuckle, but it dies rather quickly. Something feels off. It's like my planets aren't aligned. Truthfully, I haven't been right since seeing Lila. There's no denying it.

"The girl in the tight skirt is checking you out." Rappel cocks his head toward the redhead. She's beautiful. Big tits. Smoking curves. Hot. I would've been all over that tight piece of ass in my younger days. Funny how a year or two can change your perspective.

"Pass."

"You didn't even look."

I checked her out when I ordered my drink. Not that I wanted to or had any choice in the matter. She unapologetically reached across the counter before me while I waited for the bartender. Those seductive eyes and half tilt to her lips said more than any words could.

"Still not interested." She's not Lila. Fuck. I mean Miranda. It's Miranda I'm supposed to be thinking about. I have to delete Lila from my mind. "So this thing with the woman you were with the other night is serious, huh? I thought you were a fuckboy like the rest of us."

"Does my reputation proceed me?"

"Nah, though, it made it around the bases when you took off with your teammate's sister."

Jesus. I'm never living that shit down.

I knew hooking up with Cara would haunt me at family get-togethers but in a hotel bar with a different team years later? No.

"I was wilder back in the day. And in my defense, Cara was hot. Still is, but she's my sister-in-law and happily married now."

"Jesus. So you're serious with this new girl?"

"Miranda?" I shrug and drag a hand down my face, scratching at my stubble. "I'm trying with her."

"I didn't realize it was that serious."

I make a noncommittal sound. I'm so fucking in my head right now I can't even admit what we have.

Rappel studies me for a moment before responding, "Why do I get the impression there's more going on?"

"Fuck." I exhale and grip my beer tighter. "I thought we were trying to relax, not be psychoanalyzed."

Rappel raises his hands in surrender. "I'm trying to figure out what's putting you on edge."

I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but he stops me.

"You're distracted. Something's off. If this new woman is causing you stress, you can cut her off until after the postseason."

I raise my eyebrows. My game may have been off today, but I gave a solid performance. Jesus. They have talented players on the team, like Rick Bosley and Vince Russo. It's not up to me to carry them. What the fuck?

"It's not as if I didn't add to my RBIs." However, I didn't do any favors for my batting average. I missed a lot more than I hit.

"No," he drags out the word. He cocks his head, his eyes holding caution. "But you were distracted. You're not that ambiguous, my friend."

Friend . The word hits and lands like a sucker punch to the gut. Friends don't sugarcoat things, do they? They tell it as it is, even if it hurts. Is that what he is? A friend?

Of all the teams I've played on, I never made any. I stayed clear of getting close to anyone ever since my supposed best friend stabbed me in the back. In college, I focused on the ball and keeping the parade of females happy. With the Phillies, I slipped into AJ, Zach, and Jax's group, but that was by default. They tolerated me rather than liked me. I haven't known Rappel for long, so I don't know if I can trust him. But my head is about to burst if I don't share this fucked up situation with someone.

"Hell, maybe you're right. I'm in my head too much."

"The big question is why?"

I purse my lips and stare at the half-empty bottle. "Have you ever had that one person you knew you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with?"

"That's a big hell no."

I chuckle. "Never mind."

"Nah, just because I haven't experienced it doesn't mean I don't know what you're talking about. I have a sister. She's head over heels with her husband and two kids deep."

"I had that with a girl—the head-over-heels part. We broke up before college."

"And now you've been missing her since being with Miranda?"

"No, yeah. I mean…" I rub my hands on my jeans because fuck, I don't enjoy talking about feelings and shit. "My sister-in-law—my teammate's sister," I clarify, "got married over the winter. She's the only one I ever cared about since breaking up with Lila. And the entire thing got me thinking about the past." About Lila.

"Your true love?" He says in a sing-song voice that makes me cringe.

"Could you be any more obnoxious?"

"Sorry, just trying to keep up." He tips his head. "Why don't you try finding her?"

"I had tried, but she made it virtually impossible. Once she moved out of our hometown, she never returned. Dropped all of her socials. I tried to reach out to her once but was told she was dating my high school nemesis."

"That's rough."

"Yeah. Fast forward to the night at the bar when I took Miranda to the bar with you guys." He nods. I continue. "We ended up at her apartment." I take a drink to delay. I'm afraid to voice it aloud. It'll make it more real once I do. "I stumbled out of Miranda's bedroom and ran into her roommate."

His eyes grow wider as the realization hits. "No…"

"Yeah," I drag out the word. "You can imagine my surprise when I saw Lila standing in the kitchen."

"Fuck, bruh. What are you going to do?"

"I spent my entire adult life fucking around and breaking hearts. Though there was only one girl I strung along."

"Your sister-in-law?" he guesses.

"My sister-in-law."

Rappel laughs. "You really know how to step in it."

I raise my bottle in mock cheer. "That I do." I take the last sip and grimace. "I just don't know what to do."

He studies me for a moment. "Do you still have feelings for Lila?"

I take a deep breath to give that answer an honest thought. "I can't separate what I had felt for her with what I feel today. It's jumbled."

"What about Miranda?"

"I vowed to give it an honest go, and I wanted to make it work with her. She's a little insecure but has every reason to be." Especially since I spent this trip staring at a photo of Lila and Jake instead of the promiscuous one Miranda sent before leaving on the trip. Doesn't that make me an asshole? Again?

If not, then hold my beer because I have something even better. Since that night, I haven't been intimate with Miranda. And what have I been doing instead? I've been busy jacking off to the memories of a ghost from my girlfriend's past. Every time I close my eyes, I can see her perfectly: her hair splayed across the sheets, the rosy hue on her cheeks. So fucking flawless it makes my heart ache.

"But…" Rappel prods, pulling me back to the conversation.

"But seeing Lila again, and then after spending the afternoon in the park with Lila and her son, I just?—"

"Whoa, hold up. She has a son?"

"Yeah, but it's weird. Jake calls her Mama Lila. I find that odd."

"It may be a phase he's going through. But, bruh, you need to stop and think about this. A kid changes the game. Do you want an instant family?"

"No." Or else I wouldn't have thought so. But the more I hang around Jake, the easier it is to accept him. The kid is great. "I know nothing about his dad."

However, I suspect that the title belongs to Roy.

"Tread carefully, my friend. If you get involved with Lila, you're creating a family dynamic. You grow attached to the kid and vice versa? You can scar that kid for life."

Sort of like me.

I run my hand over my face and let out a frustrated sigh.

"And you owe it to yourself to be honest with Miranda."

"Yeah, I know. I like her, and I could've seen us working out, you know." But that was before I laid eyes on Lila and felt every ounce of desire I held for her slam into me. I hate letting an opportunity with Lila slip away like last time.

"Wish I had a better answer, but watch yourself." He slaps me on the back. "And watch your back with Kaplan. He has a vendetta against you for some reason."

"As long as we make it to the championship, I don't give a fuck about Dior."

"Here, here."

My phone rings. "Speaking of girlfriends, mine's calling." I wave my phone and push from the bar. I pick up in the lobby and head to my room. "Hello."

I smile at her voice. She may not be the one with whom I was supposed to go the distance, but she's certainly one I want to get to know better. Miranda deserves my undivided attention. I committed and said I would be all in.

I will be.

No matter if another girl owns a piece of my heart.