32. Hunter

Playlist: religion (u can lay your hands on me) | Shura

I’m not drunk, but that sparkly shot had just enough of whatever it was made of to make me feel warm, tingly, and uninhibited. Normally this is fun, but tonight, it’s dangerous.

I want to tell Giovanna how special she is. Tell her I’m quitting and losing the money and fuck if I care because I’ll still get half and so will she. We can run away together to a little cottage in Port Haven and be gay as fuck and in love and…

Fuck. In love. I’m in love with her. I’m head over boots in love with Giovanna Quinn…again. Or maybe I never stopped loving her. Maybe my love huddled up and hibernated until she came back to me.

I want to tell her, because I don’t want to pretend anymore. I don’t want to kiss her and hold her hand because it’ll make her ex and employer believe we’re dating…I want to kiss her and hold her hand because she’s mine to do so with. Mine to love.

I grip the edge of the counter and lean towards the mirror, eyes narrowing at my reflection. “Get. Yourself. Together,” I hiss at myself. “Bitch,” I add for emphasis. I stare at myself menacingly in the mirror for about five seconds before that uninhibited part of me comes back full force.

I blow out a breath and fluff my curls. I’m gonna tell her. I’m gonna go out there and tell her how I feel and if that means I have to take the train home and move Dolly and I somewhere else…I will.

But she needs to know that she’s worth loving. Worth choosing. That I love and choose her. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, at least she’ll know.

I fix my skirt before spinning on my heel and strutting to throw the door open. I can do this. I can be prepared for rejection and tell her anyway because this is for her. She deserves to know how fucking hard it would be for me not to love her and…

I stop short, eyes widening as I enter the bar.

Giovanna Quinn is atop Willie Nelson, the mechanical bull, eyes wide with panic.

I should mention that the bull is not moving, and she still looks like this is the most terrifying ride of her life.

“Hey, Giovanna,” I say cautiously, sidling up to the operator. “Whatcha doin’ up there?”

“I don’t know,” she squeaks. “I mean. I do know. And it seemed smart before I climbed up here.”

I kick off my boots and climb onto the inflatable platform. “Got it. Do you need help climbing down?”

“No. Yes. Yes. Wait. No. Sorry, I can’t move. No.”

I sigh. “Scooch forward.”

She finally looks at me. “What?”

“Scooch forward. If you can’t climb down, I’m climbing up.”

The operator, some poor college kid that works for the company Jo rented from, sighs heavily behind me. I swivel and glare at her over my shoulder. I was just the recipient of my own death glare, I know how powerful it is. She rightly slumps back.

Jo scooches forward and I hoist myself onto Willie, adjusting myself until my front is pressed to her back. I wrap my arms around her middle and lay my cheek between her shoulder blades. “Hi, snookums.”

I feel her body tense. “I don’t like when you call me that. That’s what you call me when people are around and you’re trying to convince them we’re together.”

I bite back a smile. “Oh yeah?”

“I like it when you call me baby. You only call me baby when you really mean it.”

“Is that so?”

“Mmhmm. I like it when you call me Giovanna, too. Giovanna’s always been yours.”

My heart skips a beat. I know she’s only talking about the name, but little does she know Hunter’s always been hers, too.

“What are you doing up here, baby?” I ask softly.

She groans. “I wanted to prove I’m not always scared. That sometimes I can do scary, hard things and take chances that make me want to shit myself, but instead I’m fucking stuck, so that went well.”

“Who are you trying to prove that to?” I wonder.

“Me. You. Because…because I want to take risks for you, and make myself uncomfortable trying things I don’t want to because Alena said that’s where growth happens. I’m such a goner for you, but I want to grow for you, Hunter.”

“What about growing with me?” I ask gently. “Doing the things that scare us together? I know you feel like you have to do everything on your own, and that people have proven themselves to be unreliable and untrustworthy, but I want to grow with you. I want to change, and learn, and find out that I’m not always right, because I don’t really care if I’m wrong when I’m with you.” My speech gets faster the more I go on, heart pounding against my rib cage.

She doesn’t say anything at first, and my stomach does a somersault. Finally, she speaks. “What happens when I get scared?”

“Then you’ll be scared. I’ll do what I can to help you face your fear, or diminish it, or cope with it. Whatever you need.”

“And if I need to be alone? You said you hated it when I left.”

“If you need to be alone, tell me. Maybe I’m a fool, but I wholeheartedly believe you’ll always come back when you’re ready. You’ll take the time and space you need and then maybe you’ll come back with a milkshake and flowers. Talk it over with me. That’s not leaving, or running.”

I feel the movement of her body as she swallows. “What happens now?”

“What do you want to happen now?” I ask.

“I want to get the fuck off Willie Nelson and make out with you.”

“You’re going to have to either climb down or we’re going to ride.”

She groans. “I hate this.”

“I know.”

Giovanna looks at me over her shoulder. “I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?”

“That’s a real possibility.” I look over my own shoulder at the ride operator who’s given up on us and is scrolling on her phone. “Start ‘er up!”

“Start what up?” the ride operator asks without looking up.

I sigh. “Willie Nelson. What else would I be asking you to start up?”

She shrugs and begins to fiddle with the control panel. “Dunno.”

Willie Nelson begins to move, slowly at first. Jo is chanting, “oh god oh god oh god oh god,” under her breath as the movements become jerkier and faster.

“Hand up, baby,” I whisper in her ear, covering her left hand with my own and weaving our fingers together. I expect to have to beg her, but she squeezes our hands and lets me lift them into the air.

We last maybe four seconds on Willie Nelson’s back, but it feels like a lifetime. Just the two of us, holding space for Jo’s fear together. She screams when we’re thrown from the bull and tumble to the inflated platform. I thank my lucky stars that I went against my impulse to go commando under my dress, instead wearing bike shorts over my thong.

“Holy shit,” Jo gasps, sprawled like a starfish on her back. “Holy. Fucking. Shit.”

I push myself off my belly onto my hands and knees. “You did it!”

“I did it.”

I crawl over to her and straddle her hips, cupping her face in my hands. I don’t care that everyone can see. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Giovanna. Baby,” I whisper, tracing her lips with my thumbs.

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me down so I’m laying on top of her. “I hated every second of that.”

“I know.”

“I never want to do that again.”

I bite back a smile and nuzzle my nose against her cheek. “I believe you.”

She turns her face and captures my mouth with hers. I taste the strawberry liquor of the pink sparkly shot I’d been served earlier and smile into our kiss.

“Um. Can you get a room?” The ride operator says, voice full of disgust.

“She’s onto something,” Jo says as I pull away. “Let’s go back to the room. I think I promised to ride you?”I reluctantly push myself off her and get to my feet as she sits up. I extend a hand to her and pull her to a standing position. “Later. I have a better idea.”

“Better than me riding you?” she asks as we step off the platform.

“Okay, maybe not. But I need to do this first.”

We quickly put on our shoes and I put my hands on Jo’s shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Well, I did. Until you asked,” she answers, eyeing me skeptically.

“Pretend you still do. Because this is a little outlandish.”

Her smile is crooked and soft and god, I stopped counting them, haven’t I? Her smiles are so much a part of my life that I stopped taking special notice of them.

My breath stutters as she grabs my hips and pulls my pelvis into hers, leaning her face into mine. “You do that to me. Bring out an outlandish side of me I didn’t know existed. I like it.” Her breath is hot on my ear.

“I need you to flirt with Barry and distract him. Also pay him to break everything down for us.”

Jo pulls away, a horrified look on her face. “Oh god. Hun, I kissed him once in the eighth grade and I don’t think he’s ever gotten over it.”

I want to laugh, but I was hung up on Giovanna Quinn for twelve years, so I get it.

“That’s why this will work.”

“Why am I flirting with him? How do I flirt with him? He’s a man .”

I grin at her, and hook our arms together, guiding her towards the bar. “Questions later. I need you to pull out that thirteen year old Jo Quinn charm that’s kept him wanting for fourteen years.”

I give her a gentle push and she stumbles into the bar.

“Heyyyyy Barry.” She sounds terrified .

“Hi, Jo.” Barry stares unabashedly at her ample cleavage as she leans on the bar.

I duck under the bar top and run my eyes over the shelf.

“You like my boobs?” Jo asks loudly, panic evident in her voice.

This woman.

“I thought you were a lesbian,” Barry says suspiciously.

“Oh. Right. Lesbians don’t have good boobs.”

I try to muffle my giggle, but fail. Barry begins to turn towards me.

“Should I get a tattoo between my tits?” She blurts out, leaning further into the bar, pulling down the neckline of her top. “Since you’re not into lesbian boobs I figure you’re the perfect, non-partisan person to ask.”

“Holy shit,” Barry breathes, eyes fixated on her cleavage.

“Holy shit,” I agree, climbing onto the bar.

Barry begins to turn again, and I grab a bottle of Don Julio 1942 from the top shelf, hiding it beneath my skirt before ducking back to the other side of the bar.

“I could’ve sworn I heard—“ Barry mutters, shaking his head. I press a sloppy kiss to Jo’s cheek as he faces us, his frown deepening.

“Ready to get out of here, darlin’?” I smile into her face.

“Never readier. Barry, do you think you could break everything down for me? I’ll come by tomorrow to get it.” She pulls a handful of rather large bills from her wallet and slaps them on the bar top. “Thank you.”

She weaves her fingers through mine and pulls me towards the door, our laughter echoing in the nearly empty bar.