23. Chapter Twenty-Three Spin

Chapter Twenty-Three: Spin

I stick close to P'Park at the Love Lounge house. The couples play games that have been planned for us, such as face-painting each other to be an animal and something called "chicken fight" where we get on our partner's shoulders in the pool and try to knock down our opponents with pool noodles. In the evenings we watch movies in a sort of slumber party atmosphere with blankets and pillows and stuffed animals everywhere. I like this the best, especially the part when P'Park wraps his arm around me, letting me lean against him while we watch.

When someone chooses a scary movie on our second night there, I keep hiding my eyes. I hate scary movies, mostly because of those moments when something jumps out. I always startle and yell. Always. The other guys laugh when I do, ruffling my hair and teasing me. The Love Lounge Live message board is full of comments about how P'Park protects me and coddles me. I guess he's doing it for show, and I find myself wishing that wasn't the case .

On the third day of our stay, P'Park and I are assigned to cook dinner—kuay teow neua, or beef noodle soup. Each of us in a white apron, I take care of making the minced beef meatballs while P'Park soaks the noodles and starts on the soup base. We do pretty well moving around each other as we cook, and in the end we create a tasty meal that the whole group approves of.

Later that night, while a few of the guys play a board game and the rest watch television, I change into my pajamas and lie down on the bed to read.

A quarter of an hour later, P'Korn pops his head into the room. In his late twenties, P'Korn is tall and has an engaging smile. I've talked to him a few times and we get along well.

"Nong, we're going to do karaoke. Want to join?" he asks me.

Wrinkling my nose, I decline. "I've never enjoyed singing in front of people."

"That bad at it?" he asks, chuckling.

"I can hold a tune, but just barely."

"Okay. Just thought I'd ask."

He disappears, and I go back to reading. Laughter and cheers erupt downstairs after someone belts out a song.

When I hear footsteps, I finish the sentence I'm reading and look up.

"Oh, hi, P'Daeng."

"Hi, Nong." PDaeng stretches out on the bed beside me. The first night at the house, I noticed when I woke up the next morning that I was on the opposite side of the bed than I was when I went to sleep. I wasn't sure how that happened, but the next night, when P'Park told me he wanted to sleep on the inside, I assumed he must have moved me. Imagining him picking me up while I was asleep makes me blush.

"What are you reading?" P'Daeng asks me .

I hold up the book, showing him the cover.

"You like mysteries? So do I," he says. "I haven't read that one, though."

"You can read it after me if you want," I offer.

"Thanks. You like it?"

"So far it's really good."

More loud singing erupts downstairs.

"Can I ask you something?" P'Daeng says after a moment.

I look up from my book. "Sure."

"It's none of my business, but I was wondering if everything's okay with you. You know, after your father made that scene at the studio."

Face heating, I look away, fiddling with the corner of a page of my book.

"You don't have to answer," P'Daeng says. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"All right, then."

I go back to reading. Beside me, P'Daeng snores quietly. The singing downstairs stops, and I hear the back door slide open and close. Some of the guys are probably going to sit out by the pool. Reaching for my water bottle, I take a long sip from it, but I'm reclining and wind up swallowing it the wrong way. Chocking, I sit up and try to cough but have trouble catching my breath.

P'Daeng wakes up and begins pounding me lightly on the back. Gradually, I'm able to pull in enough air to cough properly, tears running down my face. P'Daeng holds me, his patting turning to gentle rubs on my back as I calm down. Then he's just holding me, and I'm about to pull away when he's jerked away from me, causing me to fall onto my back.

"Get the fuck off him!" P'Park's face is a mask of fury .

"I was just–" P'Daeng starts to explain, but P'Park interrupts.

"I know what you were fucking doing. You never stop, do you? Do we have to put you in the closet for the night to keep you from groping people?" Backing up, I scramble to my feet. He's yelling, and I hate yelling. Several of the other guys stand watching at the door.

"P'Park!" I say. Then, louder, "P'Park, stop!"

Chest heaving, P'Park turns to me, and I back up, he looks so scary. His expression changes, and he wipes his hands over his face, taking a deep breath and letting it out.

Venturing toward him, I say, "P'Daeng was only helping me because I choked on my water."

"Fucking lunatic," P'Daeng mutters as he stalks past P'Park and out of the room.

The rest of the guys wander off to get ready for bed, leaving P'Park and me alone with the cameras. A moment later, because some of the guys want to put on their pajamas, the light that indicates the camera is on switches off.

"Why were you up here alone with him?" P'Park asks me, frustration written all over his face. "I told you to be careful around him!"

Not knowing what to say, I stand with my arms wrapped around my waist.

P'Park shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but when I saw him with his arms around you, and you with your hand on his arm like you were going to push him away, I thought he was attacking you."

"He's been up here a long time and he didn't do anything like that. In fact, he fell asleep. I accidentally woke him up when I started choking, and he was pounding me on the back."

I'm shaking. I spent too much time hiding from my abusive father to be able to take it in stride when someone yells the way P'Park did.

"Nong." P'Park reaches for me, but I step away .

"I know what you've told me about P'Daeng, and I am being careful, but he's been nice to me. And I don't like shouting, P'Park."

"I'm sorry," he says again, looking miserable.

Purposefully, I lie down on the left side of the bed next to the one P'Daeng shares with Aod and pull the covers over me.

Sighing, P'Park changes into his pajamas. Before he lies down, I turn onto my right side so I'm facing away from him.

"I'm really sorry," he says as a pillow fight erupts on the bed farthest from us. "I promise I don't make a habit of yelling like that. It's just that…" He stops. "Nevermind. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions."

"Okay," I say softly, and after a moment, I roll onto my back again. The guys across the room stop playing as the last few come up the stairs and change. I hear the door to P'Prince and P'Gift's room close, and pretty soon the room fills with soft snoring. P'Daeng is the last to slide into bed, but Aod is between us like every night. I can tell by his breathing that P'Park isn't asleep.

Despite being upset, I want us to be okay again. Reaching out, I find his hand between us and squeeze it.

I hear his soft sigh as he squeezes back.