1. Chapter One Spin

Chapter One: Spin

W hen the taxi lets me out by the sidewalk, I spot my friends waiting outside the bar for me and race toward them. When Kiet turns around, I jump into his arms.

"I got it! I got the part! Oof!"

Kiet hugs me so hard I momentarily lose my breath then spins me around until I'm dizzy. We've gotten closer lately, since Pravat started dating Rama and has less time for his best friend, Kiet. When Kiet sets me on my feet, I'm so dizzy I stagger, and Bass has to grab my shoulders to steady me.

"I knew you'd get it!" Cushion's long hair tickles my nose as she pulls me into a hug.

"That makes one of us," I say. When I went to the audition yesterday afternoon, I hoped to get a part, but not the one I ended up getting. SPPT was my top pick of companies to work for, but I'm green, having acted in only one boys' love drama last year. Although it was well received, I was part of the secondary couple, and their story didn't have much air time. Cushion had encouraged me to try out for one of the main roles, but I wanted to start with something smaller .

"Drinks are on me," Kiet says, wrapping his arm around my neck. Standing only five feet five inches, I'm quite a bit shorter than all of my friends. Even Cushion towers over me.

Our usual table at the Pickle Barrel is free, and we make our way around the other tables to get to it.

"I'm so proud of you for going for what you want, Baby," Cushion tells me. The nickname Baby stuck after I played the part in a gay version of Dirty Dancing at university. Apparently, it fits my personality because, according to my friend group, I'm cuddly, clingy, and needy .

We met at the beginning of our freshman year at university, all of us majoring in theater except for Kiet, who went into engineering. After graduation, we remained in Bangkok. I was over the moon when I landed a part in a bl with Hearts Entertainment. Pravat and Rama are actors with the company, and I'm sure they put in a good word for me. But when the series ended, so did my ship with my co-star, Bang. I didn't expect that, and it bothered me so much, I made the decision to leave. Part of it is because I really do want to work for SPPT—they make great bl dramas. But I have to admit it's also because I'm a little hurt. I thought my ship with Bang worked. I know it's all supposed to be just a show, but the relationship between me and Bang felt real to me. By the time filming and promotion ended for our series, Love Time , I was well on my way to having a serious crush on him, and then the next thing I knew, we were over.

This wasn't the first time I fell for my costar. I did it in Dirty Dancing , too, and isn't that ironic because—

"What can I get you?" My thoughts are interrupted by the waiter, and we all quickly put in our orders.

"Aren't you going to miss Bang?" Bass asks when the server leaves. He has no idea about my crush and the knife he's twisting .

"Sure, but I wanted a change," I say, doing my best to appear nonchalant.

My friends share looks that tell me I'm not fooling them at all.

Sighing, I say, "They broke up our ship, and I don't know why. I just wanted to get out of there."

"But you and Bang were so cute together!" Cushion exclaims.

"I thought so, too." I lay my head on her shoulder and she runs her fingers through my hair.

Affection is my love language. A good therapist would probably say I didn't get enough of it growing up.

"And we had fans," I bemoan. "But the executives put Bang with Knot for his next role, and they didn't have any immediate plans for me. It was embarrassing."

"Don't worry. You'll get a better partner at SPPT," Bass says. "Do you know who you're paired up with yet?"

Before I have time to answer, Kiet stands up from the table, and I look up to see his girlfriend, Daw, has arrived. Damn. When I didn't see her before, I hoped it meant she couldn't come. Bass, Cushion, and I aren't very fond of her. On the rebound from his short-lived relationship with Rama's sister, Kiet fell hard and fast for Daw, but it didn't take long for us to a be privy to a side of her that Kiet never sees.

"Spin," she says in greeting, her voice lacking warmth.

"Daw," I say, trying to sound a little more enthusiastic. I get that she hates me because she's jealous that Kiet and I are close. But couldn't she at least fake it for her boyfriend's sake?

The waiter brings our drinks, including a fancy imported beer Kiet must have ordered for Daw. She sits on Kiet's other side at the small, round table.

"Congratulations, Baby," Kiet toasts me. Daw rolls her eyes at his use of my nickname but doesn't comment .

"Thanks," I say.

"We were just asking Baby about his role," Cushion says.

"I got the part of Boom," I say, smiling.

Cushion turns to me, eyes widening comically. "Wait. What? You auditioned for a main role? But you didn't rehearse for that one!" Having read the book that the series is based off of, she insisted the part of Boom was perfect for me and I should go for it, but I didn't listen.

"After I read my lines for the other part, the director said he wanted me to read for Boom. He didn't care that I didn't have anything memorized. I read straight from the script."

Cushion squeals and bounces in her seat, earning her a disgusted look from Daw.

"Who are you starring with?" Kiet asks me.

"Like you'd even know him," Cushion teases. "You've never watched a boys' love drama."

"I watched the one Spin was in," Kiet says, surprising me.

"Aww." I stand up and hug him, ignoring Daw's glare.

When I sit down again, I say, "Actually, you do know this guy."

All eyes turn to me.

"Uh, do you remember Park Rardchawat?"

I see right away that Cushion does. It takes Kiet and Bass a little longer.

"Are you kidding me? You two were so good together in the play!" Cushion exclaims.

"You mean the guy who played Johnny? Didn't you have a crush on him?" Kiet teases.

"No." My denial is undoubtedly ruined by my expression as I remember how dancing with Park Rardchawat in that production was like a form of foreplay. Well, what I imagine foreplay to be like, anyway, as I've never experienced it.

"Kiet has an interview at my father's company tomorrow," Daw interrupts. "Don't you guys agree he should dye his hair back to its natural color?"

I look at Kiet, whose black hair is currently dyed a light lavender. "I like his hair this color. What kind of company is it?"

"A very prominent design engineering company here in Bangkok," Daw responds snootily. "Kiet's a shoo-in because my father likes him." She leans in to give Kiet a loud sniff kiss on the cheek as the waiter brings us another round of drinks.

I look at Kiet. "I thought you weren't sure you wanted to go into that field after your bad experience with your internship."

"Of course he wants to. Why would he not go into the field he got a degree in?" Daw snaps.

"Because he decided engineering isn't for him and he wants to be happy?" I venture a guess.

"I'm going to give it a try," Kiet says, ruffling my hair. "Who knows? I might like it better than the company I work for now."

"Hasn't your dad already seen Kiet's purple hair?" Bass asks Daw.

"Sure, but now that Kiet will be an employee, it's not acceptable."

"I'll color it black again," Kiet says.

Annoyed with Daw and her manipulations, I ask Bass about his upcoming audition for a lakorn.

"It's Thursday afternoon." He looks at Cushion. "Are you still going with me?"

"I said I would," Cushion says. She's currently on a break from auditioning, busy with her job as a manager's assistant of a hotel.

"You know what would have been funny?" Cushion asks. "If Bass auditioned for a bl and wound up shipped with Baby. "

Bass and I both make gagging noises, and Kiet laughs, snorting beer up his nose.

"I think you've had enough," Daw says to him, wiping up droplets of beer from his chin with her napkin. He hasn't even finished his second beer, and I wait for him to tell her that, but he just shrugs and pushes his glass away.

I look at my watch. "Damn, I missed the Skytrain! How did it get so late so fast?"

"We'll give you a ride home," Kiet offers.

Daw frowns. "His place is past yours. Bass, you take him."

"I can get a Motosai," I say.

"We're taking you home, and that's final," Kiet takes out his wallet.

Daw presses her lips together and stands stiffly, watching us all hug goodbye.

Outside, I follow Kiet and Daw down the street to where he parked his car. I can tell Daw's pissed by the way she's walking so briskly, which must be difficult in the three-inch heels she's wearing. I briefly entertain a mean fantasy of her twisting her ankle but quickly realize if that happened, she'd make Kiet her slave and we'd never see him.

The car ride is a quiet one with Daw pouting about driving a couple of miles out of their way to take me home and Kiet concentrating on the heavy Bangkok traffic. I'm not about to try to make conversation since I prefer a silent Daw to a bitching one. When we pull up to the building where I share an apartment with my younger sister, Nok, I thank Kiet and get out of the car. No time for a hug through the window since someone's already honking at him to move along, so I wave and turn toward my building.

Our small apartment is on the third floor. When we moved in years ago, I gave Nok the only bedroom and took the couch as my bed. It isn't much, but we have a tiny balcony that Nok keeps full of flowering plants, and she sometimes paints out there. I'm so proud of her—this year she was accepted into an exclusive school for the arts—but the school is pricey, and I'm a little worried about meeting the tuition. Now that I've got a starring role, I can breathe a sigh of relief, as I'll be able to cover her first semester's tuition, if not more.

Nok's asleep when I let myself into the apartment. Once showered and in my pajamas, I slip under the blue throw on the couch and pick up the book that my new series, Heartbeat , is based on.

I fall asleep before I get two pages read.