Chapter 5

chapter

five

Hannah

A few hours later I'm at the salon with Joy and Abby is happily at her favorite playmate's house. I'm supposed to be here supporting my soon-to-be sister-in-law, being excited that this time my brother is marrying an amazing woman who adores him. Instead, all I've done since I saw his stupid handsome face is think about Colton.

He couldn't have just come for the wedding. Eli doesn't even like him. He said he'd come for other reasons and my stupid, stupid heart wants this all to be real. I can't even deny that, I want so badly for him to have come for me. But it's not just me I need to be concerned with. Abby already is crazy about that man.

I knew they'd texted some. It had all been on my phone, so I saw the emojis and the pictures of me she'd sent him. Little sneaky matchmaker. Now all of her recent talk about me finding her a daddy makes so much more sense. I just figured kids at school were teasing her.

Joy looks up from her phone and eyes me across the salon. We're sitting opposite each other getting pedicures for her wedding this weekend. She's grinning like a fool.

I shake my head. "If my brother is sexting you, I do not want to know."

"That's not it. Though this morning?—"

"No!" I hold up my hands. "Just don't. I can't think about Eli that way."

My almost sister-in-law has quickly become my best friend. She is just like her name, so full of happiness and joy, she just brightens every room she enters. And she's made my brother so happy, something I didn't think would ever happen. For that reason alone, I adore her.

"I'm glad he satisfies you, but I do not need details."

"Soooo much," Joy says with a happy sigh.

"Joy, stop it."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Can't you just pretend I'm talking about my fiancé who isn't your brother?"

"But he is my brother." I shudder. "Nope, can't do it."

"Fine. You're no fun."

"Are you all packed for your honeymoon?"

"Yes. It didn't take much packing since we're going to the Caribbean. Swimsuits, lingerie and flip-flops."

"You are planning to wear some clothes, right?"

She waggles her eyebrows at me.

I close my eyes and try to perform some sort of mind over matter brain bleach type thing. Because I do not want to think about my brother on his honeymoon. "I'm sorry I asked. Never mind. What last minute thing do we have to do for the wedding?"

"Not a thing. Those church ladies just jumped right in and took care of everything. It's been really nice. Makes me miss my Grammy, but nice all the same."

The woman at my feet instructs me to lift my feet out of the soaking tub. I've picked a sassy red polish with copious amounts of glitter. You'll be able to see my toes a block away. Except for the fact that it's stupid cold outside so only I will see my bare feet.

"They even sent some guys over to pick up the cake and bring it to the church fridge. They've made it so easy." She nods and smiles brightly at the woman polishing her toenails.

"I can't believe you made your own cake."

Joy shrugs, then smiles at her phone again.

"Seriously, what are you smiling at?"

She blows out a breath. "Okay, I know you've seen Colton already so it's no surprise that I invited him. But he insisted on having a bachelor's party for Eli."

"Eli doesn't like people," I remind her, even though his comment about practically being Eli's best friend suddenly makes more sense.

"This, I realize. Still Colton really wanted to do this."

"Where are they? Did they go to the titty bar in Wilmington?" Why does the thought of Colton being in a strip club make my ears hot with anger?

"No!" Joy says. "They're at Balls and Pins."

I snort. "They're bowling?"

"It was all I could think of to reserve where I could make Eli go."

"Eli isn't a very good bowler, if I recall."

"Evidently neither is Colton. It hasn't stopped them from competing."

I roll my eyes, but my insides are fluttering. Why do I like the thought of my brother and my… nope, he's not my anything. Still the thought of Colton making sure that Eli had a bachelor party. I sigh. That's just sweet. He's sweet.

I knew he'd been nice to me the night we spent together, but I'd kinda thought it was simply because he was getting lucky. But he's just a thoughtful guy. Abby mentioned once in a text to him that it was snowing and so cold and somehow he managed to have gourmet hot chocolate and cookies delivered to our house the next day.

He's sent me flowers so many times in the last few weeks that I'm told there's a better pool among the older women on what flowers he'll send next.

"He cut his hair," I say.

"Who?" Joy asks.

"Colton. He had this sexy man-bun thing going and now he's clean cut."

"And you don't like it?"

I roll my eyes. "That man could be bald with a beard to his knees and he'd still be stupid hot. I guess I just want to know why he cut it."

"Okay, what are you not telling me?"

"It was one of the reasons why I told him we couldn't be together." I say the words quickly because I know they sound asinine.

"You told him you couldn't be with him because he had a man-bun?" Joy asks, her brow furrowed.

"Not specifically, but I did use that as an example to tell him that he's too young for me. We're just at different places in our lives."

"He's older than me. And I fit in your life."

"That's different."

"My point is that I don't think this is about his age at all. I think it's something else."

My toenails are done and shiny and red. The lady tells me to wait ten minutes, then we can go.

"What is it you think it is?" I ask Joy.

"Troy."

"I was with him for like a hot minute."

Joy's brows rise. "Long enough to get pregnant."

She's not wrong. I met Troy and I thought we had a whirlwind romance. I fell hard and fast. Then I got pregnant and he joined the peace corp or whatever he's doing. It's not that he's not a good guy. Troy has a huge heart for people in underdeveloped nations. But he has no place in his life for a family. Thankfully his parents adore Abby and are fantastic grandparents. Abby hasn't even met Troy before. He's been in South America pretty much since I got pregnant.

He does send child support. Well, I suspect it's actually his parents, but I don't ask. The money is just deposited in my account.

He broke my heart though. Not because I have any delusions that he was the love of my life. I know that's not the case. I know what I felt for him was lust and whatever happens when you get to be that certain age and feel like everyone around you is married. Still, he didn't want me. He didn't want us. And that still hurts.

It's not until we're walking to the car that Joy speaks again. "I just think that you're gun-shy. You don't want to get hurt again. You don't want to take that risk."

"That's part of it. But the truth is, I can survive a broken heart. I will not let another man abandon my daughter though. That is non-negotiable."

"I get it. I truly do. You know my Grammy raised me. That's because my mama died from complications about two weeks after I was born. And my dad couldn't cut it. He couldn't stick around so he dumped me with his mother. Every now and then he'd come back to town and try. He'd stay a week or so. One time he even stayed for a month, but then I'd wake up and he would be gone."

I frown. Eli and I lost both our parents, but Joy's story is terrible. "I'm so sorry, Joy."

She shrugs. "I survived. But, do you think that's who Colton is? Do you think he's that guy who is going to tell you one thing, then change his mind and walk away?"

No, he wouldn't do that. That's my knee-jerk reaction. But do I really know? No, I don't because we spent one night together. Just one night. That's not enough information to use to decide anything.

Do I want to give him a chance? Yes, a thousand times, yes. Still, there's that doubt that scratches at the back of my brain. What if? What if he changed his mind? What if he met someone younger or thinner or someone who doesn't have a six-year-old kid?

I'm still pondering these questions when I realize Joy is not driving in the direction of my house. "You lost, sweetie?"

"Nope. I just thought we'd go see how the boys are doing at the bowling alley."

The boys. Like they're a pair. Like we're a pair. If only life wasn't so damn complicated and risky.