Chapter 6

chapter

six

Eli

I watch Joy move through my kitchen as if she's always been here. Aside from Hannah, she's the only woman that's been here. I bought this cabin after the divorce and any women I hooked up with over the last few years, we did so at her place or a hotel.

Having Joy here doesn't make me panic, instead it feels right. There's no other way to describe it. There's nothing about what's happening right now that Beth would have participated in. We just weren't right for each other. This, though, Joy…all I can think is partner. This is what a real partner would be like.

"How do you know where everything is?" I ask her. I'm sitting at my big island watching her work. She said she'd do this part and we'd decorate together.

She looks up from the batter and gives me a lopsided grin that I swear jumpstarts my heart. Less than twenty-four hours and this woman has turned my life inside out. "Your kitchen is set up very intuitively." Her shoulder lifts in a shrug as she continues to work her fingers through the batter.

"Are you sure you don't want to use the mixer for that?"

"No, I think my hands work better for this. I'll use the mixer for the icing though."

"Can't we just use glue? It's not like we're actually going to eat it."

She sucks in a breath and frowns at me. "That's blasphemy! It wouldn't be an authentic gingerbread house."

I smile despite myself and hold my hands up in defeat. "You're the expert."

She nods to the drawing I'm trying to work on. "How's it going over there?"

"I think I have a sketch we can work with."

"Also, do you have any food coloring? Or red candies?"

"I think so. Why?"

She holds up her hands and waggles her gummy fingers at me. "So we can make the windows drip with blood!" She follows her low-pitched, creepy voice with a blood-curdling cackle.

Yep, I've got a tiny Christmas elf cackling in my kitchen.

Literally nothing has ever felt this right.

Weird, but right.

Maybe my sister is right. Maybe it's time to move on. Moreover, maybe I can move on.

A shrill series of beeps comes from somewhere behind me. I look and don't see anything. "What the hell is that?"

"It's my phone. In my purse." She holds up her hands that are currently coated in light brown batter. "Can you grab it?"

I locate her purse and pull out her phone. It's a late model smart phone with a crack across the screen. But I can still clearly see the text messages she's gotten. One after another. All from some guy named Shawn.

Shawn: Enough already, Joy.

Shawn: It's time to come home.

Shawn: You can't ignore me forever.

Shawn: Come on. Stop being such a baby about the building. It was a business decision. And it will be better for both of us in the long run.

Shawn: Our bed is cold without you.

Shawn: No one will ever put up with your fat ass like me.

Shawn: COME HOME NOW!

"Who the fuck is Shawn?" I ask, my teeth gritted.

Her eyes are wide a she stares back at me. Her mouth opens as if she's going to respond.

But I don't want to know. I don't want to hear her excuses. My heart feels like it's dissolving into tiny fragments. I slam her phone down on the island.

"You know what, it doesn't matter. I should have known better." I grab my coat off the hook by the door, then slam out of the house.

Maybe I'm not really ready to move on. Not if it means getting fucked over again.

Joy is the first woman I've even considered a future with. And if I'm truly honest with myself, it wasn't merely a consideration. Without even realizing it, I'd jumped in. All in with her.

But she's not available. She belongs to another man. I should be sick that I participated in a cheating situation, but all I can think about is the fact that if she belongs to another man, she can't be mine.

And since the moment I saw her, she felt like mine.

I march myself into the woods behind my house. Because it's winter, the brush isn't thick and it's easy to move between the trees. The snow has stopped falling and aside from my breaths and heavy footfalls, it's completely silent out here.

The ring of my own phone shatters the quiet. I pull the phone out of my pocket and see my sister's name on the screen. I swipe and answer.

"Hey, big brother, what are you up to?" she has a distinct smile in her voice as if she knows a secret.

"Nothing. You and Abby are safe?"

"Yes, of course we are. Aside from the fact that we're watching Frozen for the eight-hundredth time." She pauses. "But that's not why I was calling. I heard a rumor that you have a house guest."

Fuck . "How could you possibly know that?"

"Tara Simmons called me. Evidently her cousin, Jesse saw your rescuing a certain candy elf on the side of the road before the storm hit. I'm assuming she's still with you?"

I exhale slowly.

"I'm going to need you to explain that heavy sigh."

"Her name is Joy. She's from Texas."

"And you like her." It's not a question.

"Yeah. I do. A lot."

"Then why don't you sound happy?"

So I take a deep breath and tell my sister the whole thing. I leave out the specific details of our naked time. "I can't believe I finally meet someone that I can see having a future with and she belongs to another man."

Hannah chuckles. "That's a lot to unpack, Eli. Okay, first of all, did you ask her about this Shawn person?"

"Yes." I scraped my gloved hand across my face. "But I didn't give her a chance to answer. I yelled and then stomped out."

"Where are you now?"

"Behind my cabin, walking around."

"So you accused her of being a liar and a cheater, then you just left her in your cabin?"

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not like she can go anywhere. The roads are still closed up here. And she was in the middle of making gingerbread." I tell her about the social media challenge with the other author.

"He is so hot."

"I do not ever need to hear that sentence again."

"Whatever. You not only insulted her, you did it while she was doing something nice for you. Eli, what is wrong with you?"

I tilt my head up and look at the grey sky.

"I know what that bitch, Beth, did to you was horrible and unforgivable. But it wasn't really outside of her character. She was never going to be happy being your wife. You're too boring for someone like that." She says something with a muffled voice to Abby. "As far as Joy is concerned, what is your gut telling you? Is this woman a cheater? Is that who she is?"

"No." I say it before I've even thought about it. But I know deep inside that that is just not who Joy is. Oddly enough the visual confirmation is right in front of me. The winter camellias are blooming. A bright and vibrant red against the bleak and stark backdrop of the grey and white landscape. That's Joy. "She's everything that's good and sweet in the world. Better than I'd ever deserve."

I think back to the texts and how that Shawn guy spoke to her. There was no affection or love in his tone. He was demanding and degrading. I snap some of the red blooms off the bush and start back towards the house.

"I think I owe her an apology," I say.

"No doubt. Also give her a chance to explain. If you want a future with her, fight for it. Tell her how you feel."

"I've only known her a few days, Hannah, telling her how I feel might scare the hell out of her."

"Yeah, it might. Or maybe she feels the same way."