Chapter 10

chapter

ten

Jared

Audrey fell asleep nearly as soon as I was done cleaning her up. I tucked her in and pulled on some sweatpants before heading out into the living room. I spot Audrey's purse on the entryway table. There's a sheet of paper sitting on top of it and I realize it's the ultrasound.

I pick it up. It's a grainy image, but I can make out the peanut-shaped object. At the top of the sheet, it says "Baby Briggs" and "11 weeks, 2 days."

I make my way to the kitchen to stick my baby's first picture up on my fridge. Briggs . I do want to change that. For Audrey too, but right now she says she doesn't want to marry me.

I can wait, I remind myself.

I snap a picture of the image with my phone and make it my wallpaper.

After making myself a sandwich, I go into the living room and start researching books on pregnancy and babies. By the time I've finished with my dinner, I've ordered more books than any one couple probably needs.

Everything is good right now. The way it's meant to be. My woman is naked and sated in my bed and she agreed to move in with me. We can go get some of her stuff tomorrow, start packing things up. Those little cabins that Harper's family rents are always in demand so she shouldn't have any trouble breaking her lease. If she does, I'll pay out the remainder of it and call it done.

I stare at my screen and pull up my texts with Garrett. He's my closest friend so it seems only fitting that I tell him first.

Me: Hey. You busy?

Garrett: No. I'm off today. What's up?

Me: Something happened between me and Audrey.

Garett: About fucking time. Been waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass for a long time.

Me: Yeah, yeah.

I know people in town talk, and I've gotten my fair share of questions about the nature of my relationship with Audrey. Why didn't I ever make a move before that night? Why did I wait for her?

Oh yeah, because I'd convinced myself I was meant to be alone.

Garrett: Congrats, man. I know you've wanted her a long time.

Me: You did know that?

Garrett: Uh yeah. It was pretty obvious.

Me: Have you known anything about her?

Garrett: What do you mean?

Me: Like how she felt about me.

Garrett: Sure. Everyone in town knows y'all are crazy about each other.

Garrett: You bicker like an old married couple.

But she doesn't want to marry me. Why doesn't she want to marry me? I need to know that answer so I can fix whatever it is.

Me: She's pregnant.

Garrett: Fuck. Really? When did y'all find out?

Me: Earlier today. We haven't told her parents yet, so maybe keep it to yourself.

Garrett: Yeah man, I've got you.

Garrett: So y'all are not together? Officially?

Me: I think so. She's in my bed.

Me: img of ultrasound

Garrett: Holy shit, man! That's so cool.

"You're just sharing pictures of the baby to people?" Audrey's voice comes from over my shoulder.

Lola mews at her, then jumps down off my lap.

"You didn't nap for very long," I say.

"I had to go to the bathroom." She glances at my phone. "Did you post it on the Saddle Peek too?"

"It's Garrett. If you don't want me to tell anyone else, I won't," I say.

She winces. "It's not that. I'm sorry. I know I told my friends."

I grab her hand and pull her into my lap. "Then what's the matter?"

"It's just a sticky situation. The more people who know you knocked me up, the more that are going to make assumptions.

"What are these assumptions?" I ask.

"I mean they already do about us. But they're going to think we're together. That we're a couple. A real couple. Not just two people who work together and who have fucked."

Her words are a knife to my heart. "Is that what we are to you?"

She shrugs. "I don't feel like we have to put a label on it."

"We could just be a couple. Solve all of those problems and would-be pesky rumors."

She looks up at me. "I told you I don't want to get married just for the baby's sake! Same goes for being together and not married."

"I'm fine waiting as long as you need me to, Audrey, but there are things that need said. Make no mistake about this. You and I, WE are together. We're going to be living together. We're having a baby together."

"None of those things makes us an actual couple!"

"I don't follow."

She exhales. "I know you've heard me talk about it and maybe it's dumb, but I come from a family who believes in ‘the one.'"

"The narwhal thing," I say on a nod.

"Yes, the narwhal thing."

"And you don't believe I'm your one?" I ask.

She glances away from me and that knife in my chest digs deeper.

"I know you deserve better than me," I begin. "A man with a family like yours. Maybe someone more friendly, less of a giant. I don't really know what you dreamed of as a little girl. But I can promise you this, no other man could ever love you the way that I love you."

She gasps, her eyes watery. "But you call me the equivalent of lumpy pastry," she says.

"What?"

"Your dumpling. I know what kn?del means."

"My Oma was the only person who showed me love and kindness when I was growing up. I didn't get to stay with her long, but long enough for her to discover that I loved her zwetschgen kn?del. They were these amazing plum dumplings and eating them felt like love."

She stares up at me. "So you don't call me that to tease me for being squishy and lumpy?"

I cup her beautiful face. "I call you that because the moment I met you, I felt that same sensation. The feeling of being where I belong. The feeling of home. You are my love."

"What about the baby?"

"I love the baby too."

"No, I mean, I don't want that to be why you're saying all of this."

"I should have said all of these things a week after we met. But I'd convinced myself that I could never have you. That you would never want me. I didn't think I could give you what you need."

"Because of your shitty dad?" she asks.

"Partly, and because of my brief history with women before I met you."

"Can you explain?"

"I took your virginity that night in the back of the shop," I say.

She grins. "You did a very thorough job of it too."

"You took mine that night too."

"What? How is that possible? Have you looked in a mirror recently? You're perfect."

"With a monster for a dick." I exhale. "This all feels so dumb now. But the truth is, I tried. Twice before. Once in high school and then one other time before I moved back here. It would take one look and the women were done. Not interested. I foolishly thought this meant something about me."

"What did it actually mean?"

"That my body was made especially to fit yours."

"You are outrageously large."

"I haven't heard you complaining when you've been coming all over it."

She shudders.

"You didn't answer my question," I say.

"Which one?"

"You don't believe I'm your narwhal?"

"No, I did. I do. Meeting you the first time was like getting hit in the head with it. But I questioned my instincts when you never seemed interested. It would be the saddest of all to find your one, but for them to not return your feelings."

"I agree. Are you going to admit it now?"

"Admit what?"

"That you're in love with me too.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm stupidly in love with you. Happy?"

"Very."

"You're going to make us get married now, aren't you?"

"Do you want to get married?"

"Of course I do. I just didn't want to be an obligation."

"Never an obligation. A choice. My choice. Again and again. And my partner. In all things," I say, then kiss her forehead.

"Then we definitely need to talk about me getting a raise at the shop."