9. Alice

ALICE

H e thinks I did good.

Michael ate my cake—put it in his mouth and swallowed—and said it was good.

My heart is hammering inside my ribs. I’m tempted to try and hold it in by pressing my hands to my chest, but Joey’s standing just in front of my little counter, addressing the cameras for the end of the episode, and I don’t want to be caught acting like a total fool on TV.

It’s stressful to have the cameras here, especially since I know it’s all airing live, and there’s no chance for an edit or a redo. But as the afternoon went on, I found myself getting kinda used to them. Probably because all the people carrying the cameras are really nice and good at making me feel welcome. But right now, with Michael’s words rattling around in my head, I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s like one little compliment has made me completely forget how to act normal.

Needing something to do, I start to organize my workspace.

In the normal in-season episodes, there’s clearly a break between when the timer goes off and the tasting because the workstations are always pristine. But people cleaning isn’t really something the network wants to live stream, so all the stations are in a bit of disarray.

And I’m glad because it gives me something to do with my hands. Stack dirty pans? Sure! Anything to keep myself from happy crying over an arguably underwhelming compliment. Or worse yet, tearing my dress off and climbing the unsuspecting Michael like a cat on a Christmas tree—all claws and no finesse.