17. Lorna

We still had a ways to go before we reached New Orleans, but Kenrid had been kind enough to stop at a small shopping center a couple hours earlier to buy me a set of clothes that fit. While I missed being wrapped in his scent, it did feel good to be wearing a normal outfit with shoes. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have something on my feet after being barefoot for so long. I might never go without shoes or socks or slippers or something else ever again.

I shivered and pushed away the memories trying to surface. I knew getting past my kidnapping and isolation wouldn't be easy, but it was turning out to be harder than expected. For some reason, I could no longer compartmentalize. Not even a little bit.

I got this, my dhampir hissed in my mind for the hundredth time. I'll carry the burden of our captivity.

If it were that easy, why does my blood run cold with even the smallest trigger? I countered.

Because you won't just let it go.

No. I couldn't let it go. I tried, but my mind refused to disassociate. Humans aren't like you, I said. I can't just turn my emotions off with a flick of a switch.

Whatever. You're not human.

I frowned. According to Kenrid, I had to be at least a little human or I couldn't be dhampir.

Stop!

I slapped both hands over my ears with her very pointed yell. Kenrid side-eyed me from the driver's seat, and my face flushed with embarrassment.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"You okay?" he asked, turning his attention back to the road.

"Yeah."

"Are you arguing with your dhampir?" Damon asked from the back seat.

I swiveled around to check on him. He'd been in his human form for over six hours. I hadn't forgotten what happened last time. His skin was too dark to see any shadows beneath his eyes, and he showed no other signs of exhaustion. If he was struggling, he hid it well.

"Are you okay?" I asked, not answering his question.

He smiled at me, and I blushed for a different reason. "I'll make it to the fortress," he said. "Where I don't have to hide my demon."

Heat rushed down my neck and straight to my core at the thought of his demon. I really wanted to explore all his demon parts. It didn't take me long to get over my indecision about Damon and Kenrid. Everything about it felt too right.

"Maybe you should go back to arguing with your dhampir. We'll take care of all your needs once we get home," Damon said, his eyebrows raising just a fraction with his innuendo.

I hated how easy it was for him to know when I was aroused. I just smiled. I'd already said and done way more than I ever intended with him.

"How much longer until we get there?" I asked instead.

"About thirty minutes," Kenrid replied. "Damon, will you text Elliott and find out if Nathan will be up when we get there?"

"Yep." Damon pulled his phone from his pocket.

I settled back into my seat, barely resisting the urge to fan myself. The thought of Damon taking care of my needs brought on all kinds of mental images, most likely provided by my dhampir.

Can I ask a favor? The serious tone of my dhampir's question surprised me just a little, especially after her slide show of Damon. We'd talked a lot in the last two days, but she'd never directly asked for anything.

Sure.

Can we choose a name for me?

My throat tightened. I'd already decided she needed a name, but I hadn't spent any time really thinking about it. Apparently, it was important to her to have her own identity. Which I totally understood. She wasn't me. We were roommates sharing the same space … or body.

Of course, I replied. Any suggestions?

Get out your phone and open the translator app. I'd like something that means ‘peace.'

My eyes burned with unshed tears. I got it. I really did. She wanted something that reminded us of her desire to live. I loved her a little more each time she showed that part of herself.

I get that part from you, she snapped. Now open the app.

I don't have a phone, I reminded her.

Like one of your guys won't let you borrow theirs.

She had a point. "Kenrid, can I borrow your phone to look up some stuff?"

"Sure." He dipped his chin to the smartphone sitting in the cupholder of the center console.

"Thanks."

I retrieved his phone, and we spent the next twenty minutes scrolling through all the translations of ‘peace.'

I think I like Mir best,my dhampir finally decided.

I agreed. Mir meant ‘peace' in several different languages. It felt right. Just like claiming my demon and fae had also felt right.

Don't question the magic! my dhampir, Mir, quipped. It was now her favorite phrase.

Alright, smartass, when are we telling the guys? I asked.

Do we have to tell them?

No, I hedged. I just assumed you'd want them to know.

I don't think they're ready to talk to me, she said.

She might be right. Her first impression had been a little scary.

Okay, just let me know when you're ready.

"Nathan and Elliott will meet us in the garage," Damon said, drawing my attention and reigniting my doubts. It must have shown. "Don't worry, little d'laej. Everything will work out."

I wasn't sure I believed him, but I wouldn't argue. I looked out the window and watched the dense forest go by. The trees towered over our vehicle with long strands of gray moss draping from their limbs. The thick canopy blocked out most of the setting sun, making it feel a little bit creepy. We must have turned off the interstate while I searched for a name for my dhampir. Mir. It might take a minute or two to get used to using her new name.

I didn't see any standing water on the sides of the built-up road, but I had no doubts there would be during a heavy rain. I could hear the chorus of birds even with my windows closed. Every once in a while, I'd catch a glimpse of the wildlife darting through the forest.

I tried to use the scenery as a distraction, but the last ten minutes of the drive seemed to take forever. Until the trees opened up, revealing a fricking castle. There was no other way to describe it. Dark stone covered in moss made a wall that was every bit of twenty feet tall. Several more stories of the building rose above the walls in the background. Two large spires made of dark wood anchored the two back corners. I couldn't see the first or possibly even second story past the walls.

Kenrid slowed to a stop in front of an enormous wooden gate. He rolled down his window and pressed the button on a call box.

"Hey Kenrid, welcome home," a tinny voice echoed from the box. "Did you bring me anything?"

"No, I did not," Kenrid replied. "I never have. I'm not sure why you keep insisting that I would."

I gaped at Kenrid. I'd never heard him so … formal? Rude? I wasn't sure how to describe it. He'd been so easy and genuine with me for the last couple days. Even before my kidnapping, he'd never spoken to me that way.

"Aw, man," the gate guard grumbled, like he really expected Kenrid to bring him a gift. I'd have to ask him about it.

The gate started rolling slowly across the pavement, its wheels clattering against the rough surface. As soon as there was enough room, Kenrid pulled through.

"What was that about?" I asked.

Kenrid rolled up his window and sighed. "Just someone trying to make a deal with the fae. It's more common than I'd like. Typically, they try to give me gifts, thinking that I'll owe them in return." He glanced at me for a moment, a frown pulling at his lips. "Accept nothing from anyone here, no matter who they are."

"Okay," I agreed. "That's not at all worrisome."

Damon grunted in the back seat. "Yes, we should have considered that sooner. You probably shouldn't wander about without having one of us with you. Some of the clan living at the fortress will try to manipulate you if one of us isn't there."

"Great," I mumbled, letting my head fall against the window.

What the hell was I doing? This was such a bad idea. I'd placed my entire life in these guys' hands. I'd have to depend on them for absolutely everything. My food, clothes, even the roof over my head. I had nothing of my own, and I wasn't sure I could even access any of my funds without sending up a bunch of red flags. I also couldn't see where I had a choice. The alternative was trying to create a new life without their help. I wasn't sure I could do that on my own.

"It'll be okay," Damon said again.

I still didn't believe him, but I wasn't arguing. Kenrid drove down the paved drive, and I got my first full view of the fortress. It was huge. I couldn't even begin to guess how many square feet it covered. The same stacked stone provided the foundation for the first two stories. Above that, it alternated between dark wood and more stone, almost like they couldn't decide when they built a new addition. It should've appeared haphazard, but there was just enough symmetry to the chaos to make it work.

We skirted around the right side of the castle, and a large garage door opened as we approached. Just before we disappeared inside, I noticed it was right beneath one of the towers. The truck's headlights popped on automatically, and Kenrid parked next to a two-door sports car I didn't get to see long enough to identify. It didn't really matter. I was just trying to find any excuse to delay the inevitable.

I drew in a deep breath and opened the door. A pair of strong arms slid around my waist and lifted me from my seat. I didn't need to see Elliott to know it was him. His magic wrapped around me, holding me tight like I'd been gone forever, not just two days. I hugged him back, grateful that he didn't hesitate. I'd worried he would feel my connection to Damon and Kenrid and reject me. If he felt it, he didn't react. He just held me.

"I missed you." His breath ruffled my hair and stirred my desire. "I missed that, too." He chuckled and set me down beside the truck. "We decided to give you one of the rooms in Damon's wing of the tower. He's already announced his claim on you, so it won't look weird to the clan."

He glanced over my head and nodded. "I thought it might be a good idea for one of us to also be there."

I shifted to see who he was talking to. Kenrid strolled around the back of the truck as Damon emerged from the back seat.

"Sounds like my space is getting crowded," Damon said.

My eyes snapped to meet Damon's, expecting anger or disappointment. A smile spread across his face.

"I'm glad you agree," Elliott said, loosening his hold but not completely letting me go.

"We can take turns," Kenrid suggested, raising an eyebrow at Elliott, almost like there was more he wasn't saying.

"Yep," Elliott replied, his fingers digging into my waist.

I started to ask what was up, but the rich scent of a chocolate latte filled my nose. So much power. The strength of Nathan's blood was almost tangible in a way I couldn't explain. I'd had nothing to compare it to before. After my time with Conrad … I squeezed my eyes shut.

Mir, remember how we talked about letting it go? Let me handle this part, please.

But he smells divine, she whined.

Yes, but we can't have him, I argued. We'll never have him if we can't prove we're trustworthy.

She let out a long sigh, and I could almost feel her retreating from me. I sighed, too, then opened my eyes. Nathan stood next to Elliott. Damon flanked his boss's other side, and Kenrid rounded out the half-circle. They all watched me with degrees of wariness. I swallowed hard and looked directly at Nathan.

"Thank you for taking me in, Nathan," I said, my voice only a little wobbly. "I'll do whatever I can to earn your trust and keep it. I promise not to hurt you or your clan." My gaze trailed to the others. "If my presence becomes a threat to your people, you need to let me go. If I'm a threat to your friendship, kick me out." My focus went back to Nathan. "If I'm a threat to you, do whatever you need to do. I refuse to become the monster everyone thinks I am."

Nathan stepped forward, his eyes not leaving mine. I expected my hunger for him to surge forward and consume me, but it didn't. It was there—I definitely wouldn't have denied him if he offered—but it wasn't overwhelming. I sent a silent thank you to Mir.

Nathan stopped with only a few inches separating us. His gaze swept over my face for several seconds before settling back on my eyes.

"Welcome home, Lorna."