Chapter 4

ARIA

Jase has been stiff all throughout breakfast. In fact, I'm almost positive that he's never going to walk casually again because of how tense he's been.

Are you okay?

He turns to me and nods, his eyes glancing down the table for the hundredth time, but I don't know who or what he's looking for.

"Erin," a guy says, and the place on the chair arm that is under Jase's hand is crumbled into almost nothing as the wood creaks and breaks.

I look up just as a girl with bright red hair sits down across from us, her eyes meeting mine for a brief second, and I almost gasp. She's displaying her mismatched blues, and that's not all she's sharing.

I look between her and Jase, and I notice his eyes have changed. A wave of nausea crashes over me when I feel it—their connection that is almost tangible because it's so strong and overpowering. Jase looks at me, panic in his eyes, and the tension he was radiating is now filling me.

"Sorry I'm late," the girl says, making Jase's heart rate speed up. "It's still hard adjusting to having a new schedule after repeating the same routine for so long."

I swallow hard and look to Simone. Her eyes are trained on a small boy beside her, so she doesn't notice my anxiety that is crawling all over me.

Jase reaches over and squeezes my hand, probably trying to reassure me that it's... Fuck, I don't know. But I do know why the hell he was flipping the hell out yesterday. He met her. He knows. He feels this, because I'm feeling it between the two of them.

Right now, I wish my empathic abilities didn't exist, because it feels more like a curse than a gift in this moment.

"I love you ," Jase stresses, his lips close to my ear as he keeps the whisper below the register of everyone else's hearing.

Kellan comes to sit down close to Simone, and he gives me a warm smile. Then his eyes change when he sees my expression—one of horror and shock and dread and… pain. He flicks his gaze to the panicked Jase, measuring us both.

"Simone," I say, keeping my voice as unaffected as possible. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute?"

She glances up from the child, and nods, her eyes finding Jase momentarily. Is that... recognition? Does she know?

Jase reluctantly releases my hand, and shakily, I stand up. Simone leads the way away from everyone, and I jerk her to the side the second we're behind the closed doors of the kitchen.

"Do you know? Is she his counter?" I whisper, battling the tears that are begging to come out.

She frowns while looking toward the closed door. "Aria, I think you need to talk to—"

"Please, Simone. I have to know," I whisper, my voice still breaking despite my nearly muted tone.

"Why does everyone think I have the answers to the universe?" she groans, but I see the defeat in her eyes. "He talked to me yesterday," she says, looking as though she feels torn about what to say next. "You felt it, didn't you?"

I swallow hard. I'm still feeling it, even from in here.

"I've never felt anything like that. I've never even heard about a draw that strong. Simone—"

The door swings open, interrupting us, and Jase stalks toward me.

"Give us a minute?" he asks, his tone panicky as he looks at Simone.

"Yeah," she mumbles, her eyes moving to me with sympathy oozing out as she clasps my hand. She hesitates for a moment longer, and then she walks away, eyeing Jase as though there's a confrontation to come.

I cross my arms over my chest and step away from him. It's hard to know what to say right now, because I can't be mad at him for having a counter when I've got one in the same room as his. But Jase feels for her. I don't feel like that for Kellan.

My tears slowly start slipping out, and Jase curses as he closes the distance between us.

"Aria, please don't. You know I love you. I don't want this. Fuck. I hate it. I can deny it, though. Just like you have."

I guess I deserve this. I've made Kellan feel inadequate. I was okay with being the worst counter ever as long as I had Jase, but if I lose him—

"You're not going to lose me," he says, letting me know the guard to my mind is down. "I love you, baby. Only you."

But he's worried he won't for long, I can see it—feel it as though it's my own emotion. The waves rolling off of him are almost palpable. He wants her, but he doesn't want to want her.

"That's why you wanted to quit the commander position and get away," I say more to myself than to him. "You're worried you're going to choose her if you don't put distance between the two of you, and their group is going to be with this group until we find out who's after them. Unbelievable."

"I won't choose her. Ever. I love you. I don't even know her last name, Aria. And I don't want to know anything about her. Fuck this counter bullshit. For all we know, it could be a trick. She's been with the Scorpions. They could be behind this. We don't know anything."

His pained expression matches the breaking of my heart. Despite the storm raging inside of me, I keep my voice calm, not wanting the desperation I feel in him to elevate.

"Jase, if you weren't worried about it being real, then you wouldn't be so freaked out. I get it. I've been there, but I didn't feel this way about Kellan—not this strong. And all the feelings I had for him went cold the second I got you back. What little bit I felt for him never even got close to being a shadow of the feelings I have for you. I think we both see what's coming. If you feel this strong of a connection so soon, imagine what will happen in another few months."

He grips his hair with one hand as he turns his back. A small bit of his sanity breaks, and he swears while flipping over a table, causing a tidal wave of crashing objects to scatter around the otherwise quiet kitchen.

A few cooks peer out from the larger kitchen next door, trying to investigate. Once they see it's the commander, they slink back out. I just stand there—numb and shocked. Destiny hates me. Can't it see Jase is the best one for me?

"And you're the only one for me," Jase murmurs through a choked whisper, his back to me as he grips the counter in front of him.

My lips purse as I try to think of what to say next. I don't know what, though.

"Everything okay in here?" Kellan's voice is concerned, and I turn to see him looking through the door from the dining hall.

"We're fine," I lie, knowing damn well we're anything but fine.

He looks around at all the scattered chaos, and then his eyes trail over Jase as he continues to keep his back to me. "You sure? Doesn't look too fine to me," Kellan says, his jaw tensing.

"It's none of your fucking business," Jase snarls, still not looking at anything but the cabinets in front of him.

Kellan takes a step forward, but I wave him off. "Just go, Kellan. This doesn't have anything to do with you."

I see the mounds of reluctance in his eyes, but he nods as he backs out, offering one last glare to Jase's back before he fully retreats. My heart is breaking. No, it's not breaking; it's exploding right now.

I've worried about him finding his counter, but I never realized the connection could be so unfathomably forceful. I can still feel the pull of gravity as it tries to send him back to the other room.

"Jase," I whisper, barely keeping my emotions out of my voice, "you should talk to her. As much as I don't want you to, I'm sure she's feeling everything you are. I can feel it. And she—"

"No," he growls while turning around to face me, his eyes full of unshed tears and rimmed red. "I don't want to talk to her, see her, or even be in the same damn proximity. Let's go. Let's find another compound."

I could go, and possibly keep him, but do I want him if I can't have all of him anymore? Mom loves Uncle Brazen, to the point it's sickening, but when she had a choice to make, she chose her counter. What if we've been fooling ourselves into believing we could fight our destiny when the illusive Araya Crush wasn't even strong enough to do so?

"Stop thinking like that," Jase whispers, coming closer and resting his forehead against mine.

My tears start dripping harder as he puts his hands on either side of my face, his eyes closing as he tries to soak me in. And I put my hands over his while we stand here like two broken lovers. His hands slide down, and he wraps his arms around my waist, drawing me as close as he can.

"I want to marry you and forget this ever happened. I'll never be with her, Aria. I couldn't be. I love you too damn much to have room for anyone else. Please. Let's just go and start over somewhere far away from here."

The desperation in his tone breaks my heart that much more. We both know he can't fight a pull this strong for much longer. It's impossible. Stupid and selfish as it might be, I nod.

"I'll pack my things."

He breathes out in relief just before his lips find mine. My tears salt the kiss, but it only makes him kiss me harder. "I'll have to call a meeting, and I'll tell everyone we're going to a different compound. I'll make up an excuse. And after the peace treaty is signed, I'll step down from the commander position."

Still numb as I try to process everything, I nod again, leaning against him. I can't give him up, even though I know I'm on a path for self-destruction.

"Let's go back to the room for a while," he murmurs against my ear, and like the monkey I am, I nod once more.

JASE

Aria has been quiet—well, more than quiet—since she figured out the hell I'm in. Her mind is constantly trying to shut me out, and the few things I hear aren't exactly comforting. She's convinced I'll hurt her.

I won't. I can't.

"Commander Ericson, your papers, sir," Captain Fricks says as he hands me the all the appropriate paperwork to acknowledge I'm getting the hell out of here.

"Thanks, Captain."

As I look over the ungodly amount of shit to fill out, he blows out a hesitant breath.

"Care if I ask why you're in such a hurry to leave? You can avoid the paperwork if you just move as we do. Is something wrong, sir?"

I shake my head, not lifting my eyes. I try to read his mind to see what else he's thinking, but as usual, it's Hale Banner's mind all over again—too much clutter to make sense of.

"Nothing wrong. I just don't like having Aria so close to the Unaligned border, and I also need to do some work that I can't do from here," I lie. It's not even a good lie.

"Very well, sir," he says with tight lips that tell me without reading his mind that he doesn't believe me.

I shut the door as he leaves, smiling when I see the only girl I've ever loved. She's curled up in the bed, resting peacefully despite the terrible day we had yesterday. I'll give up anything in this world—except her.

Just as I turn around, something slams into my chest like a hammer. My veins begin burning painfully—a need and torturous thing that traps me and suffocates me. The papers fall from my hand, tumbling to the floor, as I fall to my knees, sucking in harsh breaths as unbidden desire consumes me.

No. Fuck no!

KELLAN

"So they're moving to a new compound?" I grumble. Great. It's not like I have any choice but to follow, considering it hurts to be away from her.

"Yeah," Simone says distractedly, her eyes focused on the microscope in front of her.

"Could you at least give me some of your attention?" I gripe, glaring at the back of her head.

"I don't think that's wise. The last time I gave you any real attention, I was suddenly all over you like I couldn't control myself. And you didn't exactly fight me off too hard. I think you're somehow transferring your frustrations onto me, and I'm feeling it. I think it'd be best if you left. You're distracting me, and I'm busy."

I almost grin. Simone is blunt and honest, and if I could have her without feeling the guilt that would ensue, I'd take her.

"What's so important right now that you can't talk to me?"

She huffs as she pulls off her glasses and moves away from the microscope while pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm searching for a way to keep the emergent children alive. Some of them were older than we initially thought, and they don't have but a few years left before puberty. They'll die if I can't isolate the variable that pushes their systems too hard and forces early expiration. If you ask me, it's a little more important than being the person everyone wants to fucking vent to. I've got my own problems, but no one gives a damn."

She turns back around to resume her task, and I frown at her back.

"I give a damn. What problems?" I ask, leaning over the table.

"It's nothing. Just go, please. I need to focus on this, and as I said before, you're distracting me."

Sighing out, I rise from the chair and push off the table. When I reach the door, I glance back in time to see her lifting her hand to wipe away a tear that I can't see. I want to probe her for information, but she'll never open up until she's ready.

I may not know her well, but I know her well enough. She feels alone, and I get it. I've felt like that for so long. Even now that I've finally found my counter, I'm still just as alone.

"I'm here, Simone. Whenever you want to talk, I'm here. You'll have my undivided attention."

She tenses for a second, and her breaths stop, but she finally exhales as she nods slowly. She never turns around, but she says, "Thanks."

Once I'm away from the lab, I pull my phone out, debating about whether or not I should call Aria and tell her Simone seems to need a friend. Maybe I could find out what's going on between her and Jase. That shit at breakfast yesterday looked intense, and no one saw either of them for the rest of the day.

I'm not delusional enough to think she'll ever leave him, but something is definitely going on. And what's with the quick, spontaneous move?

As I head down the hallway, a cracked door allows sound to escape. Loud moans find my ears, and I chuckle to myself at the indiscretion going on behind that door. I'm almost envious, until I hear something that forces me to stumble to a halt.

"Jase," a girl says, moaning his name, but that's not Aria's voice.

Swallowing hard, I move to the door, pushing it open the rest of the way, and straight across the room is the commander him-fucking-self. His lips are pressed against a girl with red hair that I've seen before, and her legs are wrapped around his waist as they kiss wildly, devouring each other with a carnal need.

I stare, stupefied, because this can't be real. They're seconds away from fucking, and Christmas has just landed in my lap.

A hand on my arm startles me, and I look down with wide eyes as the shocked Aria stares blankly ahead, seeing the same show I'm seeing. Pain and horror washes over her, and she clings to me harder, probably using my touch to keep Jase from overhearing the thoughts she has to have going on right now.

I turn back to see Jase's lips ravenously devouring the neck of the girl, and her eyes come to settle on us, smiling triumphantly as she gazes without fear. It's then I notice the touch on my arm is gone, and I look to see the vacant hallway. Where did Aria go?

I glance back before leaving, but my footsteps pause when I see Jase reach behind him, pulling his gun from the back of his pants. The girl's eyes are now closed as he ravishes her, and then the gun goes to her head.

I don't have time to process the action before the trigger is pulled and her lifeless body is dropping to the ground, thudding without concern from the man who just took her life.

What. The. Fuck?

Jase drops the gun and then falls to his knees, heaving for air that he seems to finally be catching.

"What the hell did you just do?" I yell, too stunned to even try to move.

He barely glances at me before he reaches into the discarded purse on the floor. He dumps out the contents and rifles through them, ignoring my question. When he doesn't find what he's looking for, he shakily stands and moves out of view. I hear the distinct sound of drawers being ripped out as shit crashes to the floor.

Moving into the room to see him better, I repeat myself. "Jase! What the fuck did you just do?"

As he dumps out another drawer, a glass vial falls and rolls gently across the floor, not breaking or even cracking. He scoops it up and brings it to his nose, sniffing it before cursing.

"I knew it. Bitch was trying to blood rape me," he growls, shoving the vial into the pocket of his jeans.

Oh damn. "She set you up," I groan. It's not a question. It's me drawing the obvious conclusion that only drives me into dismay. I knew it was too good to be true.

"Yeah," he grumbles while spitting, looking close to vomiting. "I knew she wasn't my counter."

The only way to kill the blood fuck need is to kill one of the hosts. It's still got to be painful as fuck though.

"Why'd you think she was your counter?"

He goes to the sink in the bathroom just behind him, and starts washing the blood spray off him.

"There was a pull. It must have been the blood."

"You would have went for her immediately if she drank an entire vial of your blood." When they had Aria's blood, there were barely even a few drops. That blood still stains the glass, proving there was more than enough to draw him in quickly. "Something else must have been going on," I murmur thoughtfully, trying to process all the crazy. "Where did she get the blood?"

He pulls the vial back out of his pocket and stares at it before shoving it back out of sight.

"I think this is the vial of blood that was left in the RV before the last attack. We thought it got destroyed," he says while coming out of the bathroom and looking around at the mess of blood still spilling from the lifeless redhead. "I need to speak to Aria. She thought this girl was my counter."

I almost go pale when my mind finally goes to where it should. "Aria just saw that. You. Kissing that girl. And—"

"Fuck!" he roars in interruption. "Where'd she go?"

He stalks toward me, and I curse before I start racing down the hall in the direction she went. Fast footsteps follow me, and all words are put on halt as we both frantically check the hallways. She's got to be around here somewhere.