5

Georgia

I am my own worst enemy. Boone did nothing wrong last night, he did everything right. He was sweet, attentive, and sexy, and only made a move after asking if it was okay. Then I turned chickenshit and kicked him out of my house with pizza in hand.

Surely, they are going to let me out of that Cowboy Day thing now, right?

“Elly, it’s Georgia.”

“Hi, Georgia. What can I do for you? Did you and Boone pick a day for you to come to the ranch? I can get it on the calendar.”

“Um, you haven’t talked to Boone?” I assumed he would have told Elly or Cole about my post-sex meltdown.

“No, I haven’t seen him today. Did you guys not pick a day yet?”

“No. This isn’t going to work. I will pay three times the auction amount, but I can’t do the day with a cowboy thing. It’s not just that it’s a conflict of people, um, I have a horse allergy?”

“Are you asking me if you’re allergic to horses?”

“Yes,” I sigh. “I mean, no, I don’t have a horse allergy. I just don’t like being around them. You can ask anyone, I’m a number and business person. Not a horse person.” It hurts my heart to utter these words. I’m a huge horse lover and everyone knows it.

“That’s strange because Boone told me the other day that he wasn’t surprised you tried to donate extra money because you love horses so much. Why don’t you tell me the truth and see how that works.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“You’re friends with Boone.”

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’ll tell him your business. I promise whatever you tell me will stay between us.”

I take a deep breath. I’m not sure if I believe that she’ll keep it between us, but I need to get out of spending a whole day with Boone. My heart won’t survive it. I already feel bruised from one sort of date with him.

“Okay, I’m afraid I’ll fall in love with him, and he’ll break my heart.”

Elly doesn’t say a word on the other end of the phone.

“Um,” I try to come up with more to say. “We used to date when we were teenagers. He broke up with me for a stupid reason and I was hurt. We weren’t together long, and I’ve always said my heart wasn’t broken, it was just bruised. But it still hurts all these years later, so maybe it cracked more than I thought. We spent time together last night and it was so easy with him. Then things got—well, you know, and it was amazing, but the pizza came, and we stopped. We watched a part of a movie, and things were amazing again, but this time we weren’t interrupted. Then I realized that my self-preservation instincts were right. Boone could squash me, not physically, he would never hurt me that way, but my heart, he could eviscerate that.” I take a deep breath and wait for Elly to say something.

“You have to do it,” Elly says.

“What?” I’m shocked.

“Sorry, it’s the way the auction works. If we let you just pay extra, we’ll have others try the same thing.”

“Are others being tricked into spending a day with a man who’s no good for them?” I ask, now angry.

“I can’t discuss the other auctions. Anything else you need, Georgia?” Elly asks.

I don’t answer, I just hang up the phone and flip it off for good measure. I bared my soul and got nothing in return. I hate it here. Maybe I’ll move. I’m sure they need accountants in Portugal. I start looking up how to move to Portugal and taking notes. Planning a pretend escape makes me feel a little better.

COWBOY: Are you okay?

ME: I’m fine. Planning a move.

COWBOY: Really, where to?

ME: Portugal. I’m applying for jobs and housing.

So, I can’t do the cowboy for a day thing. So sorry.

COWBOY: We can schedule it

for before you move.

ME: Super busy, sorry

COWBOY: Can I see you later?

ME: I don’t know. What else is there to say?

COWBOY: So much, wildflower, so much.

I sit staring at his text for at least ten minutes. I do want to see him, but there isn’t a point. Nothing good can come from it and I know that it’s just his ego that makes him want to meet up and talk. Or maybe he wants a repeat of last night. There is a part of me that argues he might feel the same way I do. That what he did when we were eighteen was because he was afraid of getting hurt and that he’s ready to be mine now. What if I’m the one running now when he’s standing right there?

It’s so frustrating not knowing what to do.

My phone rings and my heart jumps at the thought of it being Boone, but it’s Shelby.

“Hello, Shelby,” I answer quietly.

“You’re moving to Portugal?” she asks, nearly hysterical.

“What? Where did you hear that?”

“I might have read it over Boone’s shoulder. He was in front of me at the store. Also, you totally left him hanging and he calls you wildflower. It’s so sweet. You’re also in his phone as wild girl.”

“You shouldn’t read other people’s texts. It’s rude. I’m not moving to Portugal. Don’t you think you would have been the first person I told? I’m trying to get out of the Cowboy Day thing.”

“Why are you trying to get out of it? You and Boone are obviously talking and stuff. So it wouldn’t be that bad, would it?” she asks, not knowing everything that’s happening and I’m not gonna tell her either.

“Boone and I are like oil and vinegar. We shouldn’t be paired together. It’s a mess. He told me he broke up with me back then for my own good.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been telling you for twelve years. He didn’t do it because he didn’t like you. He was moping around town after you left for school and I don’t think that he’s ever had a serious relationship with anyone else. I know you guys weren’t serious, bruised heart, yada, yada, yada…” I hear her whisper to someone but can’t hear what she says. “Also, oil and vinegar go together. It’s literally salad dressing.”

“Whatever. I don’t know what to do, Shelby. I don’t want to get hurt and the only person that has that power is Boone. I don’t think I’m brave enough to let him get close. It’s easier this way.”

“I can do your Cowboy Day for you. Technically I’m the one that made the bid. I did it in your name, but the money came from my account.”

“You would do that?” Why does my stomach hurt at the idea of Shelby taking my place? Is it because she would be with Boone or because I wouldn’t be with him?

“Of course, besides all that cowboy goodness to stare at all day.”

“He’s not an object,” I snap at her.

“I wasn’t even talking about Boone, girl. I wouldn’t look at him like that, he’s yours,” she laughs. “Although, objectively, the man is stupid hot.”

Now, I’m laughing. “It is unfair how hot he is, right?”

We talk for a few more minutes and I feel a little bit better. Shelby again offers to take my place on Cowboy Day, but not that I’m faced with someone else spending the day with Boone I don’t want to let her. I close the tabs for Portugal. It’s a nice dream that running away would solve all my problems, but they would follow me, and new ones would be sure to appear.