33. Chapter 33

Ava kissed Vox deeply once outside of navigation, her knees weak and a fluttering in her stomach. Vox growled at the contact, pushing her to the side of the ship, gently, until her back was against the wall.

“Your smell says you are needy,” he murmured, voice low and greedy.

She didn’t disagree, kissing him again, angling her head for him to reach her neck better. “You are right. I need you, Vox.” She leaned in to him. “I’m ready again.”

He pressed his face into her shoulder and smelled deeply, his eyes feral. “Then I will attend to you.”

Vox picked her up, straddling her legs around his middle, and quickly moved away. “Not in front of Rhutg. Or anyone,” he said haltingly in her ear as he carried her through the halls. He hitched her up in his arms to move quicker. Ava placed her arms around his shoulders.

He didn’t let her down until they reached her bed in the engine room; their room now. Ava didn’t want to claim another room permanently. She wanted to be close to the biologics and the engine. Vox didn’t disagree, but mentioned enlarging the room in the future and affixing a more permanent door than the curtain. She was here helping by choice now, rather than because she had to. That distinction really made all the difference. It was the freedom to choose.

“You are mine,” Vox growled after putting her down. Ava smiled at that, at his possessive demeanor. It reflected back at her in his eyes, narrowed in focus.

“Only if you are mine,” she answered cheekily in return. She craved his touch on her again.

Ava made quick work of taking her jumpsuit off.

He put his head against her forehead, pushing her backward until she sat on the bed, his alien eyes intense. “Always. Always, my little bird.”

Vox nuzzled her neck while he took off his own clothing, undoing the clasps and putting it aside.

Ava reached up to run her hands down his entire body. Vox didn’t move, instead watching her as she explored him, hands lingering over his taut skin.

When Ava’s hands began to explore his stomach, heading downward, he shuddered.

“My turn,” Vox growled, stopping her hand. His hands slid up her body to the nape of her neck as he twined his fingers in her hair. He angled her head to the side to kiss underneath her neck.

Ava felt starved for his touch. He was warm pressed up against her as he continued to trail his mouth down her body. He paused at her breasts, lingering his attention there. Ava arched her back to press into him further. A tension began to build for her again.

“I want you,” she said, heated eyes locked on him. Her core tightened in agreement.

Vox’s shaft had already become exposed, lubricant coating the sides. He smiled at her softly while saying, “I can not deny you, Ava.”

They moved together slowly, the rush of the coupling more tender this time. It didn’t have the heady pressure from before Torga, but the lingering calm of affection. They had time now. All the time in the universe.

Vox spoke low in Ava’s ear, touching her midsection after he spent himself in her sex. He caressed across her stomach with the tips of his fingers.

“Do you want a kit, someday?”

Ava, in a halfway doze, startled awake at the thought. She absently gripped her arm, the one on the opposite side of her tracker. In the nightmares, it had come back to her what it was. In addition to the translator in her head, a permanent fertility blocker was put in her arm.

She took Vox’s hand and put it over the spot where she could just feel it under her skin. “I remember what this is. All the workers got them. It stops . . . it makes it so I won’t get pregnant. Humans have a . . . breeding cycle. I remember my mother having it where she bled every month. It stops that too.”

Vox fingered the area, probing around it gently. Ava felt a pinch as he pushed in. “Erox assumed as much. But it is easily removable. If you wanted to someday . . .” He looked sideways at her, assessing her reaction.

Ava looked at him, stricken. “I can’t. Vox, they took them . . . they took all the children from my mother. She had them and then they left, over and over again.”

Tears began to fall again. Vox held her as she finally broke down and shared with him what life was like before she came to the Phor ship. The things her nightmares were made of. The never-ending tests, the fear over what her future would be. So much love lost.

His fingers trailed over her abdomen as she talked, listening.

“Ava, it would not be like that for you. I would protect our kit. They would run in our fields, loved, as I love you. You are my mate now.” His eyes held his sincerity.

Ava moved her hand down to cover his, tapping on it lightly. She didn’t refute his words. She tried to picture what he said, the thought of a child.

Even though part of her filled with horror at the thought, a small part could see the appeal.

A child that didn’t leave. One that was made from both her and Vox. Would it be a perfect mixture of the two species? Or would it be a miniature of one of them? It was not appealing right now, but she could see, once she trusted Xai enough, once she felt safe there, that she might want that. That she might want to be a mother herself. And to have a child the right way, to see what a happy childhood could be like through their eyes . . .

She leaned back on his chest, sighing, adjusting herself on the pillows. She pulled her patchwork blanket over them both, relaxing again with him.

The thought called to her more than she wanted to admit right now, and Vox was still staring at her expectantly for an answer. “Maybe in the future we can, but I want to run in the fields myself first.”

“Are you ready?” Vox asked Ava, who was brushing out her long hair.

Ava nodded back. She had been leaving her hair out of her customary bun more now that Vox expressed how much he liked it down.

It was still wound up tight though when she climbed the engine, always mindful and respectful of the gears moving around her.

The cycles between Torga and Xai went by fast. By her rough account, half were spent in the engine hall as she recovered. But the second half of the trip was spent becoming close to the women, whom Ava visited daily. She hoped when she got off the ship their visits would continue.

Ava still struggled. Her mind was still fragile but time did help, as Vox said it would. She worried about what would happen, surrounded by so many more Vorbax on Xai and her mind still being delicate. She was jumpy at times, startling if there was loud sounds or even fast movements. She still slipped into thinking about her memories if it became too quiet, becoming quiet herself.

Vox worried over her when it happened. But she was ready to try to see what life on a planet is like. Time and making new memories was helping.

Ava adjusted her freshly laundered jumpsuit, checking herself in the mirror. Her eyes no longer looked haunted like they did when she first returned from Torga. Instead, they’d begun to regain their sparkle.

The women assured her that she would get some different clothing once she was on Xai, but Ava didn’t really want to change what she wore every day. This was her. She could tell things were going to be changing, but she didn’t want to alter who she was too much. Ava wanted to not forget herself in this new world. It was important to her to not forget.

Vox gave her back a reassuring rub as they walked out of the engine room.

Ava met the women in the cargo hall. She gave them a nervous smile, her body feeling light and jittery. It was her first time going off the ship in a place out in the open without having to disguise herself or be careful about not drawing attention.

The women flanked her as she walked out, all talking excitedly. They included Ava in their midst as if there was no distinction between her and themselves. Ava’s insides swirled, matching her biologics proudly displayed on her chest.

Vox stood nearby, smiling, but keeping behind her. He wanted her to be seen amongst the women first instead of attached to himself.

They stood in the cargo bay as they waited for the final landing checks to be completed automatically. The Phor ship had already landed on a dead space next to the nearest city, the thrusters turned off.

The Vorbax did not have a spaceport, an indication of how much they tried to be isolated from the stars. The ship compensated fine though, sinking into the hard-packed dirt that had been baked and compacted from other transports in the past. A more permanent solution would need to be found at some point. Or not. It wasn’t as if any of the Vorbax were eager for more guests from the stars.

The doors opened, the pistons creaking as they did. Ava noted that she might need to expand her maintenance to areas outside of the engine hall and tend to them.

Lirell expressed wanting to learn about the mechanics the last time they talked. It would be fun to have him help her work on everything together.

With the doors fully open, a cool breeze with sweet-smelling air swept through the cargo bay doors.

Ava breathed deeply and squinted against the bright light. It was much brighter here than in the solarium; the light of a real planet, not artificial. It shone strongly, lighting up the richness of the colors found on Xai.

Vox stood beside her as the women linked arms with Ava. They walked in unison into the sunlight, and Ava took her first steps toward her new home.