31. Chapter 31

Vox held her during the sleep cycle after they met with Rhutg. Being there, with him, was what her mind needed. That, plus the promise that there would be something different for the ones she loved. She felt relief at being able to silence the voices of her family that thought she forgot them. It helped her to finally begin to put the pieces back together in her mind.

Time would help the rest, the edges still raw from the never-ending nightmares. Vox could contain them, and Ava welcomed him using his abilities to do so, drifting off to sleep in his arms with him glowing. It was enough healing that when Ava smiled at Vox after waking up in his arms, he looked relieved.

They spent the next few cycles in the engine hall, just them. Ava showed him how the components worked and some of her ideas on how the engine could be modified to move more efficiently. She climbed every inch of the engine, feeling more connected to it knowing that it was officially hers to take care of now. Her mind swam with the possibilities. The biologics were capable of so much; what else could they power?

Vox looked on from the ground, uneasy about her climbing and fretting as Ava nimbly crawled all over the shifting gears and pistons. Seeing him hesitate on the ladder to even the first layer of the engine brought the first few laughs out of her. He’s scared.

“Are you afraid of heights?” she questioned him after seeing his reaction enough times to know that it wasn’t just coincidence. She leaned over the railing, far, while asking. Vox eyed her warily. He had climbed to the first grate and made every sign of wanting to get all the way back down.

“I belong on the ground,” came his surly response, eyes flashing.

As silly as it was, the fact that Vox could be afraid of something as well helped her with her own fears. Ava smiled, but didn’t tease him any further.

They took their meals together in the control room, Vox taking Ebel’s desk, as he learned to work the controls on that end. Ava helped him where she could. Over the years she had memorized most of the commands Ebel used. They changed the Phor language that the computer was defaulted into Common, making it easier to learn.

Ava sat, watching him learn to reprogram the computer, head resting on her chin. Her mind felt clearer each cycle she spent here.

His relief was evident on his face when she walked over to him, leaning down to kiss him deeply. Her passion, a part of her she hadn’t felt since before the mission, flared mutely in her chest.

Vox matched her speed in re-establishing intimacy, not pushing her, even though she could see the lust reflecting in his eyes every time they touched.

She wound her arms around him as he sat on the beanbag Ebel favored, looking at the inventory on the ship’s logs. He was cataloging what could be sold, explaining to her the need for credits amongst the stars. Ava never had a need for currency before, outside of an abstract idea and the few times she went off ship with Nuor. She felt lost looking at the numbers, but tried to learn anyway. It was vital for her to learn to engage with the world outside the ship.

After a leisurely morning working through the logs, Ava pushed into his area, sitting in front of him and the monitor he was looking at. He eyed her speculatively as she distracted him, turning his head away from the monitor, kissing under his neck. She didn’t go further than that, not yet, but asked, “Can I see the women now?”

Vox nodded before his gaze deepened, lust becoming unleashed. He leaned forward and, using his tongue, caressed the length of her collarbone in return.

Ava shivered, insides going weak. “I want to get the visit out of the way first,” she told him, gently pushing him back. She needed to face the Vorbax women before she felt ready to let that part of her come back, despite her body being consumed by heat from his touch.

Vox hummed but got up, and picked her up as well before putting her on her feet. “They have been waiting.”

She leaned forward to put on the sandals she had taken off to climb to the top of the engine earlier. “I know. I can do it now.”

He nodded and walked with her out of the engine hall. Her steps were sure as she followed him. This ship was so familiar, but she wanted to explore every bit of it now that it was no longer her cage. It made her look at everything with fresh eyes.

Ava still hesitated outside the room the women were staying in. She never went up to the previous queen’s quarters, preferring to stay as far away from her as possible. It made sense the women would stay there, as it was easily the most luxurious cabin on board. She remembered all the nooks and crannies clearly from the video feed Ebel played almost continuously.

Walking in, not much had changed, except the mood and the inhabitants. Delicious food sat on the table, taken from the queen’s personal food synthesizer, assaulting her senses as she walked into the room. The women, all clad in spare jumpsuits similar to her own, rose at once to crowd around her. Ava stepped back, fear overwhelming her at their approach, until she stepped into Vox’s chest.

The women stopped upon seeing her hesitation, but as one stood and gave the universal sign for deference, their hands splayed over the front of their jumpsuits.

“Ava, we thank you,” Wyrl said in a low voice, sincerity ringing in her tone.

“And we apologize.” Orla came forward and spoke, stepping to right in front of Wyrl. “We—”

Ava interrupted, feeling uncomfortable. This was part of the reason she’d been avoiding this. She didn’t want to hear apologies or to relive it. She wanted to forget and move on. “I understand. I don’t want you to feel guilty for defending yourselves.”

The women nodded, relief etched on their faces.

“Truthfully, the phasers you brought did more than our fear. We were able to continuously fight them off until the males came for us. The tracker in your arm led them to us fast,” Orla told her, reaching for her hand. “They were not expecting us to be armed.”

Ava allowed the contact, stepping closer to the women. They were within a few inches in height, and other than Ava having hair instead of fins and pale skin instead of blue, they were extremely similar. A smattering of shimmers flowed over their faces, like freckles did on Humans. Their eyes matched Vox’s in that they were a solid color with no white around them.

Ava took her hand and spread it out on Orla’s, comparing the sizes. Both women stared as their palms met until Orla moved hers to grasp Ava’s firmly and grinned.

Ava felt lighter than she did a few cycles ago, and seeing the women was freeing up a frozen part of her mind.

Orla looked at her, then behind her at Vox, and smiled. “You two are a good match. Your temperaments complement each other.”

Ava startled at her assessment. “You are not . . .”

“I thought Vox already told you I did not mind,” Orla said emphatically.

Vox interjected, “I did tell her. A sterile agreement cannot come between a heart bond.”

Ava stumbled over her words, feeling awkward as she wrung her hands. “It is good hearing it directly from you as well.”

Orla smiled, her teeth overly large compared to Ava’s. “The contract has been nullified and already negotiations for another have begun. Truthfully, I can’t wait to see what the homecoming has in store for us. I miss home.”

She dropped Ava’s hand to gesture out toward space. “I am so excited to be going back there. Back to Xai. We all are.”

Sai walked up to Ava and leaned forward. She tentatively gave Ava a hug, arms gentle. Ava hugged her back, just as gently. “We are sisters now. Rhutg spoke with us for a long time about the others from your world. We told him Violie would agree with his plans.”

The other women nodded, determination on their faces. All five of them nodded their heads, almost in unison.

Ava swallowed, feeling overwhelmed. “Thank you.” She met each of their eyes in turn.

“You helped rescue us. How could we not feel the same need to reciprocate for you? Thankfully you have males already committed to the cause,” Wyrl continued, glancing at Vox, while Sai continued to stand by Ava’s arm, gripping it in her hands.

“Not many,” Ava mused.

“You’d be surprised. We do not know what the others have decided. However, you don’t need many.” Wyrl smiled. Her eyes crinkled as she looked at Vox behind Ava.

Vox, still behind her, dipped his nose into Ava’s hair. In between him and the women, who continued to creep closer to touch parts of her, Ava felt closed in again. Ixxi and Bria, the two women she never talked with before, also came near.

She swallowed, her skin feeling like it was crawling. The feeling of wanting to escape began to overwhelm her. Panic rose. She started to put her hands out to keep everyone back.

Ava closed her eyes and breathed, rationalizing with herself. I can do this. She was okay with this once. Being around companionship. This is how it was with her and her sisters before. They’d all slept in a heap with their mother for comfort, sprawled together. Back on that cold planet, it was one of the only comforts they had. With that thought, Ava’s eyes brightened. It was family. Only family members and got this close to one another. She reached out and gripped Sai’s arm back.

“Look at my mind,” Ava said, pushing past her distaste for having them in her thoughts. She needed to forge a new connection to move past the fear. She wanted to show them she understood their desire to connect with her peacefully and gain that ability to be open again for herself. Remaining closed off was not the answer.

The women didn’t hesitate, shining a more muted hue than Vox did at her back. And in that place where there were no words, only emotion, more healing continued. The women shared their dismay at causing her pain and Ava conveyed her forgiveness. The Vorbax, and Ava, understood that family and caring for one another meant the same thing for all of them.

Ava wiped her tears away several times while the women looked on, fascinated.