Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

AUGUST

ONE MONTH LATER

Chemo is done—it has been for the last two weeks—and I am more than happy about that part. My doctor told me that normally, it takes a couple of weeks to get an answer about the prognosis, but due to it being ovarian, she says it is a bit trickier. Therefore, she is going to order a panel of oncologists to also look at the scans and such before giving me the answer.

While I was for that, she insisted I start living again. She wants to slowly introduce things to my diet, go for short walks, and start enjoying life once more. I am still weak and a bit nauseous, but I can already tell my body is feeling relief. When I look in the mirror now, I don’t see a cancer patient. I see a fighter, though I still have doubts about my longevity when I let myself stop believing.

My hair is still gone but I can see the start of it coming back and I don’t let myself think about it because it could happen that the cancer is not gone and once again I will be hooked up to machines getting poison pumped into my veins.

I still cannot bring myself to be naked in front of Declan no matter how much he tells me he loves me no matter what and although I know it is true, I still am insecure. I wonder often if I am ever going to be myself again?

I finish making myself something to eat when the doorbell rings. Who the hell is that? I walk to it and ask who it is.

“It’s me, Connie.” Oh fuck. It’s my sister. I haven’t been answering her calls lately or when I do, I cut it short trying to avoid her asking to come here. Well that backfired. “August, I know something is going on. You haven’t been yourself. Open the door.” Damn it. I forgot how stubborn she can be. “You can’t keep ignoring me.” Sighing, I know I cannot go on like this, so I do what I didn’t want to do.

Slowly I open the door and the minute she sees me, she gasps, and I see the tears immediately. “Connie, you shouldn’t have come.” Is the only thing I can think of right now.

“Oh August. How could you keep this from me?" Before I can answer her or stop her she flings herself at me and wraps her arms around me. She is crying right now, and it spurs my own pain. I can't do anything else. I wrap my arms around her and sob like I haven’t done in months.

“I wanted to save you from this, sis. I didn’t want to put this on you,” I tell her through tears.

“I should have been her for you.”

“I know.” I do know that, and that is why I didn’t tell her.

“You know you are going to have to tell me everything, right?” nodding, I chuckle and wipe my face.

“I would expect nothing else from you.” She laughs and hugs me once more. I squeeze her hard and realize how much I have missed her and how much I really need this.