42. Reed

Chapter forty-two

Reed

I’m fucking exhausted. The lights are too bright, and I’ve been injected, prodded, and stitched for who knows how long. No matter how many times I ask for her, no one will let me see Petra.

It’s only after the officer finishes taking my statement that he’ll entertain my questions. “What’s going to happen to Kinley?”

The officer shakes his head. “She succumbed to her injuries shortly after arriving at the hospital. A volunteer will come by before you’re discharged with some information about counseling. There are free services to help you make it through this difficult time.”

Gone. She’s gone.

A ball sits in the back of my throat, and I can’t swallow it down. The small part of my heart that once loved her—or the idea of her—cracks. I know something in her cried real tears. She was fractured long before she met me, and her obsession made her just as unhappy as the rest of us. If she’d stuck with a treatment plan, she might’ve lived a full, beautiful life.

But my fist clenches by my side as the rest of it hits. The bigger part of me, the one I’m not proud of, is angry. Angry that she hurt me. That she would’ve killed Petra. That Kinley had to die for this chapter to be over. That she couldn’t just let it go, for all of our sakes.

She’ll never understand the way I drowned, the way her mistreatment crawled over my skin. I will never get an apology, and it will be on me to figure out how to live without it. All of it sits heavy in my stomach .

The officer pauses on his way out. “I read your whole file. The system failed you—we failed you—when you should’ve been taken seriously. I’d like to say that it would’ve been different if it had all happened here, but… I’m sorry it had to come to this to get any meaningful intervention. I hope it helps that you don’t need to keep running.”

Grief, relief, guilt, and the remnants of overwhelming fear claw at my throat. “Please tell the nurse I want to see Petra.”

The officer nods, and he’s only gone for a few minutes before there is a quiet knock on my door. A nurse finally leads Petra into the room, dressed in a hospital gown that matches my own.

“Oh, Pet.” I suck in a harsh breath at her injuries. “What hurts?” There are heavy bruises blooming across her face. There are small cuts from her jaw to her hairline, and a jagged one at the corner of her mouth. It’s hard to tell what else is wrong under her loose gown. But she’s alive, and she’s never looked more beautiful.

“I’m okay. How’s your leg?” She bites her lip as she pulls up a chair close to the bed and reaches for my hand. “They wouldn’t tell me anything about your condition.”

Fuck that. I pull her in beside me. She shifts her weight away from me, but I tug her closer. “Come back. It’s my other leg, and I need to feel you more than I need to stay still.”

I touch her everywhere I can, needing to make sure she’s whole. She’s just as soft as she was under my hands last night. Twelve hours ago she was giggling under the sheets with me. How did we get from there to here so quickly? For a brief, terrifying moment, I thought one night of possibilities was all we’d get.

She flinches when I brush her wrist, and my chest constricts. “I’m so sorry. I promised to protect you—”

Petra finally gives up the distance between us and curls into me. She presses a gentle finger to my lips. “We protect each other, amato. That’s how families work.”

“Are we family now?”

She nods, brushing our noses together, and something hot builds behind my sternum and in my eyes. “It’s amazing how clear things got for me today. I’m done holding back, Reed. I sure hope you’re okay with that, because you have a whole clan of Diamantes out in the hall who are worried sick about you. Mama is feeding the entire nursing staff as we speak.”

She’s trying to make me feel better, and I wish she wouldn’t. “Don’t they hate me for getting you involved? Because I do. I was about to watch you die today,” I choke out, clutching her tighter. I’m going to glue her to my side. “You were so brave, but I was fucking terrified that you—”

“So was I,” she admits. “But I didn’t. And you didn’t. I’m sure we could both use a hefty dose of therapy after this. Just be here with me, tesoro . Breathe with me. That’s enough.”

“You and me,” I promise. Our kiss is soft and quiet. It’s our first since my heart stopped when Kinley pressed a gun to Petra’s head, and is our most precious. I wrap my arms around her, breathing her in, unwilling to let her go for a second.

When I pull back, a glint of red catches my eye. Her hair still has blood in it, and my terror surges forward like a tidal wave of ice. “She’s gone, Petra. She’ll never hurt you again.”

“Hey. She’ll never hurt you again.” She strokes the back of my neck—a touch I relish. Each moment with her is sacred. “Are you…okay? She was a huge part of your life.”

Petra knows me better than anyone, but that she guesses at my turmoil is a testament to just how well. I struggle to find the right words. There’s a storm growing inside of me that defies description.

“I met her, you know,” Petra says, biting her lip. “For about five minutes. I didn’t know who she was, but she was charismatic and sweet. When she left, I wished we could’ve been friends.” Petra frowns. “…And I think she might’ve vandalized my car. But what I mean is, I saw a glimpse of something beautiful. Maybe it was fake, or maybe there was good in her. What happened between you is complicated, and your feelings about it are going to be complicated, too. I understand that. It’s okay to be heartbroken, Reed.”

I blink back tears I can’t even begin to understand. “I think I’ll need to double my therapy sessions. But I’m counting my blessings today, and I’m so blessed to look at you, Pet.”

Petra blushes and half-laughs in disbelief. “My face feels like I went through a car wash where all the spinning parts are made of bricks. I’m sure I look lovely.”

I kiss her nose, her jaw, her mouth. Bruised and bloody parts of her that showcase her strength, her determination. Her love for me. The pink across her cheeks means she’s not waxy on our kitchen floor.

“There is no one as lovely, Petronia Diamante. I’m going to make you blush every single day of your life. And I don’t want to wait. I love you. I want you to move in—” My request goes sour, and I close my mouth against the taste.

Petra frowns, stroking my jaw. Each touch settles me back into the present. “What is it?”

“I should back out of the house.”

Petra hums, stroking my hand. “Take your time deciding that. You love that house. If you don’t want to live there, then don’t. But I don’t want Kinley to take any more joy from you. If you still want it, we could have a priest bless it? Father Bobby would do it. He’s close with the family.”

The suggestion is so far out of left field that it’s practically outer space. “I thought you weren’t talking to God?”

“We’re back on speaking terms,” she says, linking our fingers together. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.”

“I loved dancing in the kitchen with you.” I wish we could turn back the clock to yesterday afternoon, surrounded by sun and laughter. “As much as I loved christening that bedroom. Would you hate it there now?”

“My favorite part of that house is you.” Her beautiful, soft, Bambi eyes meet mine. She smiles, and it disperses some of the gloom. “We can always cleanse it our own way, you know? Make out on every surface we can?”

I don’t know what I did to deserve her, or how I found her when I wasn’t looking, but I’m incredibly lucky that this woman is in my corner. “Maybe let’s lay some holy water down first, then cleanse it our way,” I compromise. “Just to be safe.”

She lets out a quiet laugh that speaks to her own exhaustion. “That’s a good plan.”

There are dark circles under her eyes that I trace with my thumb, and flashes from this morning hit me in a fresh punch to the gut. “I want all new furniture. Dishes. Art. Everything. I want to start over with you, Pet. Will you pick them out with me?”

“Of course I will. What else do you need? Has someone called your siblings? Your mom?”

“The hospital did. Grant is already on a plane.” I’m as surprised by that as anyone. “Everyone else is flying in tomorrow, and I should be discharged before then. The bullet only got the edge of my thigh. Nine stitches, though, and a lot of blood.”

She covers her face with her hand, but it doesn’t disguise the sob that escapes. I tuck her tightly to my chest, and her tears slide, wet and cool, down my neck. “We’re so lucky.”

“You’re the only woman in the world who would call us lucky.” My wry laugh belies the terror still racing through me. I let go of my steadfast control, allowing our complicated emotions to pour out between us. “You saved my life today.”

“And you saved mine a month ago, Reed. I wasn’t living when you walked into Mulberry’s.”

“What if I want to spend the rest of ours together? What if I want to build not just a home, but a life and a family with you? Not…” I lift her chin, searching her gaze. “I know this isn’t the right time. I don’t have a ring, and emotions are high, but this isn’t adrenaline. I always knew I’d ask you sooner or later, but I’m not waiting. I’m in this, Pet. I want to love you, in joy and grief, for as long as you’ll let me.”

“For as long as you’ll let me,” she promises.

Her hands dive into my hair as I catch her mouth for my own. I press the softest kisses there, careful not to hurt her, wishing I could cover her with them and heal every inch of her.

“My parents bribed the church because they wanted Silla and Josie to get married with a full, Catholic Mass,” she blurts when we break apart. Her eyes widen, and she presses her lips together so tightly that they turn white. “I don’t know why I said that.”

The clouds shift outside the window, and a ray of golden, afternoon light breaks through the clouds, brightening the room. It brings color to her lips and darkens the freckles peeking out across her collar. Her cheeks flush a deeper pink, and brush the warm skin with my thumb. Day one, accomplished. I smile. “Yeah, but I do.”