Chapter 12 - Tannen

"Do you really think this plan will work?" Thea asked as she peered over the ravine.

"I hope so," I said. "Though Damien might guess what we're trying to do. Still, I think he'll be too pissed off. He'll come after us even if there's some danger involved."

She chewed her lip, a cute quirk she had when she was thinking. Cute? I shook my head. I needed to get rid of this claiming bond soon, before it got any worse. Thea was gorgeous, but that didn't mean I could let those types of thoughts creep in.

"What is it?" I asked.

She didn't answer right away, instead continuing to think over something, her brow furrowed. Finally, she said, "Do you think it would be better if I was bait? Instead of you, I mean."

I stared, mouth dropping open. My wolf snarled and thrashed, bristling at the mere suggestion.

"Have you gone insane?" I finally demanded.

"No. Think about it. Who is he more likely to go after? A dangerous ex-spec-ops shifter? Or a weak absent? If he thinks he can get me on my own, he's way more likely to go for it."

I shook my head. "There's no way in hell we're doing that."

Her brow furrowed, and she folded her arms. "But it would probably work. You can't deny that part."

"I don't care," I snapped. "I'm not about to let you do something that reckless. I don't care who you are or what you think. That's too far. That's bordering on self-destructive, if you ask me."

"It's not self-destructive," she argued. "It's the best option, and you know it."

She took a step toward me, her face defiant as she moved close enough to be within arm's reach. I pinched the bridge of my nose. How did I get it through to her that all I wanted was to protect her, even if I couldn't fully understand why I had that need?

"I agreed to let you stick around," I snarled as her scent wafted toward me.

We were close enough that it would have been so easy to clear that final gap. For a wild moment, all I wanted to do was pull her toward me. I tried to ignore it. Now wasn't the time.

"I didn't agree to let you put yourself in even more danger," I said.

She growled, every inch of her bristling. "I'm not helpless, you know," she spat. "If you haven't been able to figure that out by now, you're even more pig-headed than I thought. My being an absent doesn't automatically mean you can sideline me."

Finally, I thought I understood what was really going on. Letting out a deep, frustrated breath, I came to crouch in front of her, my hands resting on her arms.

"You don't need to put yourself in danger to prove that you're not helpless," I said. "Trust me, I've seen enough of you the past couple of days to know that you're not. And after everything, I can't worry about you being in danger. I'm going to be distracted, worrying about whether you're okay. On top of that, I can't have another person threatening to kill you."

"Why's that?" she asked, and something about her tone made me wonder if there was more to the question.

"Because for whatever reason, I happen to enjoy your company, and I don't really relish the idea of another asshole coming after you." I tilted my head, staring her down. "I want to keep you alive, and I'm going to do everything I can to make that happen, even if that means telling you to sit something out."

Her eyes met mine, jaw set in defiance. I met her gaze levelly. This was one thing I wasn't backing down on, and she needed to realize that. Still, something about her stubbornness stirred my wolf again. He liked her stubborn streak. I did, too, for that matter. It was refreshing. But that didn't mean I was going to let her do this.

Finally, her shoulders sagged. "All right," she relented.

"Thank you." Her scent was everywhere. I wanted to kiss her, to stop everything and do more than that. I had always been good at handling my impulses, especially when it came to women, but something about Thea made it nearly impossible.

I took a step back, letting go of her arms, trying to distance myself from her. "Let's get going," I said.

We spread our scent around the area as much as possible without making it too obvious that was what we were doing. We led a trail to the part of the cliff we had picked. Thea disappeared into the brush, using some techniques I'd shown her to hide her scent.

Then I waited.

It wasn't long. I pretended to look busy, preoccupying myself with my gear, keeping my ears pricked. After a while, I heard rustling. A moment later, Damien appeared.

"I would have thought you'd have run for the hills by now," Damien drawled, though his eyes blazed with anger. "Especially considering you have to know how much more trouble you're in, now that you've killed one of my men. I was happy just having one of my lackeys kill you until then. Now you're going to have me to deal with."

"I'm terrified," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Where's your bride?" he mocked.

"Already long gone," I said, moving so I stood between him and the ravine. "I stuck behind to have a word with you."

He laughed, the sound grating against my ears. "You really have a death wish, don't you?" he jeered. He stepped forward, teeth lengthening to fangs. "I'm going to enjoy—"

I grabbed Damien, spinning him around before he could react, and pushed him back toward the cliff. My foot slammed into his gut. He took a single step backward, instinctively trying to balance and finding nothing but air beneath his foot. He toppled, falling down the steep edge.

Yowls of pain echoed through the air, along with thump after thump as Damien tumbled down. I stood at the top, watching as he fell, his figure growing smaller until I could no longer see him.

The brush rustled. Thea emerged from her hiding spot, peering at the edge of the ravine, eyes wide. She glanced from me back to the crevice.

"Is it over with?" she asked.

I leaned back over, watching the brush below, waiting for the telltale rustle of leaves or a shuffling sound as he pulled himself to his feet. The only thing I could hear was the soft twitter of birdsong.

"It's over," I said. I walked over to her, my hand going unconsciously to her shoulder. "Are you all right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Just weird. You know." She gestured at the ravine. "I mean… he's dead."

"Yeah," I said, taking a deep breath. "That's not something you ever get used to. But it was necessary."

She nodded. "What happens now?" she asked. "Do you really think they'll stop just because Damien's dead?"

I chewed my lip, deliberating. The truth was, I wasn't sure. "Sometimes killing the head means everyone else scatters," I said. "It depends on how well-organized they are, and if there's someone strong enough to take charge. But the important thing is that they'll be distracted for a few days. We'll be able to get you to Brixton. Then I can meet up with the other Silver Wolves and come up with a plan."

She nodded. "Let's get going, then."

I shifted, and she clambered onto my back. Neither of us mentioned that once we got back to Brixton, we'd most likely put all our focus on breaking the bond.

I tried not to think about how the idea of losing that connection to Thea grated at me. No, the sooner we broke the bond, the better.

Shaking my head as I made sure she was situated, I charged through the woods, heading back home and whatever lay in store for us next.

***

We reached the outskirts of Brixton as dusk began to settle over the town. I didn't breathe easy, however, until Jameson's mansion, the de facto base of Silver Wolves operations, came into view as we sped up the mountain. All the lights in the house were on, and I could see figures shifting in the windows.

Thea slid off my back, her hand lingering there for a moment before I dipped back into the woods to shift and don my clothes. When I got back out, Thea was still waiting.

"Are you ready?" I asked. When she nodded, I hesitated, then added, "About the other evening—"

She raised an eyebrow, then burst out laughing. "What? You thought I was going to tell Astrid what happened? No. I think it's better if we keep all that to ourselves."

"Great." I fell silent, wanting to tell her something else but unsure what exactly that might be. Why did all of this bother me so much? Part of me didn't want to keep it a secret, and even though we'd agreed to keep our relationship to that one night, the more I thought about it, the less I liked the idea. It chafed in a way I couldn't fully understand.

But I could figure that out later. Without another word, the two of us walked up to the house.

The door flew open seconds after the first knock, revealing a frazzled Astrid on the other side.

"Oh my god, Thea!" Astrid barreled into her sister, wrapping her in a bear hug and holding her tight. "Thank god you're okay. Are you hurt? What happened?"

"Astrid, I'm fine," Thea said, though she let her sister continue to hug her. "Seriously."

"Come on in." Astrid practically dragged Thea into the house. I followed a couple steps behind, nodding to Rand and the others as we walked into the living room.

Astrid took several minutes looking over Thea, snarling at the injury on her arm and worrying over every little scrape regardless of its size. Once Astrid reassured herself that her kid sister was okay, she rounded on me, her eyes flashing with anger.

"You—" she snarled. Rand put a hand on her shoulder, only barely softening her anger.

"Astrid…" Thea warned. "It's not his fault."

Astrid glowered at me but gave a curt nod, looking back at Thea. "I guess I should thank you for saving Thea," she muttered, more than a little grudgingly.

I nodded. "We'll figure out the claiming bond, I promise. I'll do some research, and—"

Mark cleared his throat. "Actually, you might not have to," he said. "I've got a lead on how to break it. I'm not positive yet, but I think I'm on the right track."

I blinked, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously?" I asked, and Mark nodded.

"How?" Astrid asked.

"I don't want to go into it in case I'm wrong," Mark said. "But there's a shot."

"Good," I said.

The word came out flat, almost hollow, only I couldn't figure out why. If I didn't know any better, I would say that I was upset about getting out of the claiming bond. But I should have been relieved. Had the bond already sunk in that far? Maybe it was some sort of defense mechanism where the stronger it got, the more reluctant I would be to break it. I'd never heard of anything like that, but that didn't mean it wasn't real.

I grumbled to myself, trying to push it out of my head. These types of thoughts were what made claiming bonds dangerous. What was it about Thea that made it near impossible to keep her at arm's length? Up until now, I'd never had an issue distancing myself from a woman after the spark had gone. Something about Thea made it so I didn't have that luxury anymore.

The group spoke for a bit longer, but my mind constantly drifted over to Thea and the claiming bond. I kept sneaking glances at her, wanting to talk even though I knew it was a bad idea. I already knew what I needed to say when we did talk. Finally, though, things began to die down, and I couldn't help myself any longer.

Walking over to Thea, I asked, "Doing okay?"

She nodded, though bags hung under her eyes. "As well as I can be. I'm looking forward to getting home, though. I think we're about to head out."

I hesitated, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted to say without coming across as rude. "I think it might be best if—"

"—if we stayed away from one another for a bit?" she finished. "And avoided being alone?" She laughed when she saw my stunned expression. "Don't be so shocked. I've been thinking the same thing."

"You've been worried about the bond, too, then?" I asked.

She nodded. "It definitely feels stronger. Or at the very least, something's changed over the last few days. I don't know how else to describe it… only that it feels like there's more of a pull. Something like that." She shook her head, color rising to her cheeks. "It sounds stupid, I know. Sorry."

"It doesn't." My hand went to her shoulder. Then I realized what I was doing, and my arm fell back to my side. "I'm feeling the same thing."

If I felt that pull, though, then why the hell did I feel so disappointed about it? And I could see in Thea's expression and the faraway look in her eyes that she was thinking the same thing.

A new thought crept into my mind. Would it be so bad if we kept the bond in place? I could picture a life with Thea, certainly, and the idea wasn't unappealing. If we let the bond snap in place, we wouldn't have to do this little song-and-dance anymore. I wouldn't have to keep questioning everything.

No. That wasn't an option. I'd heard too many stories of claiming bonds going wrong. A claiming bond didn't make you like your mate. If the claiming bond snapped into place and we found out we were incompatible, we'd still be stuck with each other for life, miserable and resentful. Even if we'd worked well together the last couple of days, that didn't mean we'd keep working well together in a year or two.

The disappointment I felt was probably just the claiming bond itself.

"So we're in agreement?" she asked. "Seeing each other is a bad idea?"

I wanted to say I didn't agree. That I didn't see anything wrong with seeing her again. Based on her expression, I wondered if she was hoping I'd say that, too.

"Yeah," I muttered, forcing the words out. They hung in the air between us like a toxin.

"Right," she said. "In that case, I'll see you later."

"Yeah," I mumbled, not able to look at her. My wolf snarled, flexing his claws in protest, not wanting to step away from his claimed mate. But I had to. Because the alternative was much, much worse.

So why didn't it feel that way?