Chapter 10

CHAPTER

TEN

FOX

I deserve to burn in hell.

That’s the dominant thought hammering into my brain as I hurry down the stairs and reach for the keys I left on the kitchen counter when we returned from the town’s tree lighting several hours ago.

“Going somewhere?” Grandpa Eddie’s voice in the dark kitchen startles me, making me curse under my breath. Twice in one day I’ve been oblivious of my surroundings. Either I’m slipping or Alida Kingston is scrambling my fucking brain.

“Thought I might take a drive.”

“It’s pretty late. Snow’s coming down real heavy.” Grandpa Eddie lifts his glass. “There’s plenty of eggnog in the fridge.”

Though I’m itching to get the hell out of here, to let the crisp chilly air fill my lungs so I can breathe again, the weather could pose a problem. Brett might be rolling in his grave right now, but I can’t look after either of his sisters if I wrap my truck around a tree.

What the fuck was I thinking?

The taste of Alida’s pussy lingers on my tongue. A flavor I’ll never forget as long as I live. But was that dirty Christmas wish of hers worth the price I’ll have to pay? I’d lost my fucking mind between her legs. I’d forgotten everything. Until she made that comment about breaking the rules. Something inside me snapped back to reality.

“Come, sit.”

I stare at the empty chair across from Grandpa Eddie. It’s been a long time since I’ve sat down and had a conversation with my grandpa. “I suppose one glass wouldn’t kill me.”

“It’s good stuff.”

“Why are you up so late?”

“Insomnia. Fun shit.”

“Really?”

“That and your grandma, God love her, snores like a freight train.” He passes me a metal flask when I join him at the table with my eggnog. “This helps me sleep.”

I twist off the cap and add a shot into my glass.

“She’s a good one, you know,” Grandpa Eddie says, unsolicited.

“Grandma Lola?”

“Always. But I meant your girl. Alida.”

“I know.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I scrub a hand over my beard, wondering if this conversation is even worth it. As soon as we leave Christmas Day, Alida’s free to go back to her life with a fattened bank account. She’ll probably tell me to stay the hell away. I’ll keep an eye on her from a distance—just to make sure she doesn’t sign up for any more sex auctions or some stupid shit like that. But I’ll respect her wishes if she doesn’t want me around. Even though it’ll gut me to do so.

“You love her.”

“What?”

“Ah, I thought so.”

“Grandpa Eddie, that’s a pretty strong accusation.”

He raises an eyebrow, that simple gesture calling me out. “You’d bring a woman you don’t love to meet your family at Christmas? This family?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Doesn’t have to be.”

“I served with her brother overseas.”

“And?”

“He didn’t make it home.”

“You feel guilty.” Not a question. A statement from a man who’s been to war himself. “That shit will eat you alive if you don’t make peace with it, Fox.”

“He wasn’t supposed to go on that patrol.”

“How’s that your fault?”

“Because he asked me to take his place, and I said no.” Brett wanted to mail a present for his youngest sister, Kayleigh, so it’d make it in time for her eighteenth birthday. I hadn’t had a day off in a month. I was exhausted. Too tired to guarantee the safety of soldiers under my command. I offered to mail the package for him instead, after a long-needed nap.

The package made it home.

Brett never did.

“Brett asked me to watch after his sisters if anything ever happened to him, but I don’t think this is what he meant.”

“And why not?”

Looking after someone and fucking them are two different things. And I’d damned near given in when Alida offered herself to me. Hell, I was supposed to stop with one flick of my tongue. Instead, I’d eaten her pussy like I was a starving man enjoying his first feast in weeks. “It’s a helluva way to repay him.”

“If she’s your fuck buddy, sure. But not if you love her.”

“What if it doesn’t work out?” I ask instead.

“What if does?”

My shoulders shake with a silent laugh. Alida hates me. She’ll always associate me with the man who came home from war instead of her brother. “That hasn’t really been my track record in life,” I say, taking a swig of eggnog, the sting of brandy burning my throat. Guess I forgot to mix the alcohol in.

“Your dad’s the piece of shit. Not you, Fox.”

The mention of my late father makes me shudder. I wonder how many auctions he attended. How many dirty deals he made. How many people suffered in his heartless pursuit of wealth. “I know.”

“Do you? Because you’re worthy of her.”

“I don’t know if any man is worthy of her.”

“See, you do love her.”

I empty my glass and carry it to the sink, rinsing it out. “You make it sound so simple.”

“The way I see it, your buddy wouldn’t have tasked you with protecting his sisters if he didn’t think you were worthy.” Grandpa Eddie joins me by the sink, setting his empty glass next to mine. “I don’t know exactly what you two are trying to pull, but you have an opportunity here.” He claps me hard on the shoulder, the force of his hand almost as jarring as his confession. “So make it count.”