CHAPTER 19

GRIFFON

“Okay, I know it sounds bad.” The painful silence made me stop gnawing at my bottom lip as fear began to knot inside of me.

“Sounds?” Monica's tone is filled with sarcasm.

“Okay, maybe it's worse than bad.” I quickly add.

“Griffon, that’s awful,” Lauren says, her tone blunt and unwavering. Her brows knit together tightly, and the heavy silence between them is suffocating. The weight of it all presses down on me until panic forces me to my feet.

“Okay, maybe I should’ve told her beforehand, but technically I didn't lie, her toilet really was fucked.” It sounds like I’m trying to convince myself more than anything.

“Okay, but you fixed it days ago. You do see how that's fucked up, right?”

Silence spreads between us. The question was a stab in the heart.

I attempt to recover as if it doesn't affect me: “To be fair, I didn't mean for this to drag on; I just—” But I’m stuck.

The words were right there. I couldn't spit it out. Just like this morning when Mia couldn't stop screaming at me, I didn't know what to say. I should’ve just explained myself or at least offered her some type of peace of mind. But no, I froze up.

I never freeze up. I’m pretty good at knowing what I want and knowing how to get it. Talking is one of those things that just came easy to me, but now isn’t that time. Instead of giving Mia any answers I stood there like a criminal that was just caught red-handed.

I had no excuse. I let her call me every name in the book without a word of protest. I knew I deserved it—honestly, I probably deserved worse.

So, I stood there, letting her scream until her voice gave out. Even then, I didn’t move, rooted in place in my bedroom, listening as she slammed the front door behind her.

With Monica and Lauren here, I’m not sure they’re any better than Mia right now. The thought of Mia being hurt like that breaks something deep inside me.

“You just what, Griffon?” Lauren’s eyebrows shoot up, her face as hard as her voice. They obviously are not here to feel sorry for me—understandably so.

“I don’t know!” My voice cracks, and the words come out in a rush.

“No, I think you do know. You’re just too scared to admit it.” Monica’s sharp tone makes Lauren and I whip our heads toward her, her words cutting through the tension like a slap.

“Monica!” Lauren elbows her like many times before, but Monica stands– completely unaffected.

“What? Griffon needs to stand the fuck up, and I’m not about to let her drown herself away in whatever self-pity bullshit this is.”

“Look, what I think Monica is trying to say—” Lauren’s eyes linger on Monica as she continues.

“—Is that we love you, and you know we'll support you no matter what. But come on, Griffon. You didn’t do all of this for no reason. Don’t you think she deserves to know why?”

My mind was working overtime as it anxiously searched for the meaning behind their words. But my subconscious already understood everything. My feet began to move on their own as I pulled away from my living room and headed straight for my front door.

“You're right.” The determination in my voice sends me straight into tunnel vision until an arm stops me from moving further. Quickly, I turn to my right to find a wide-eyed Lauren holding me back.

“Wha—”

“—Not right now, you doofus! She just found out you’ve been lying to her this whole time. Give her some space.”

I can hear them both try to swallow their giggles, but I’m too focused to care about being embarrassed at my eagerness. After a few moments, reluctantly, I let go of my front door knob as my mind begins to create a mixture of hope and fear.