Chapter 32CANDI

Chapter 32

CANDI

I find mom sitting on a wicker chair, her feet up on an ottoman enjoying the fall sunshine in the conservatory.

She smiles. "What do you think? I feel like the Queen of Sheba with the way Boomer follows me around to make sure I can sit where I want and do what I want."

"I'm glad." And even more glad she lets the veteran help her like that.

I didn't get my sense of independence from a stranger.

"If he's not careful, I could fall in love with that kind of attention." Mom winks at me.

"Do I need to have a talk with him?" I ask, only half-jokingly as I sit down in the other wicker chair near mom's. "Warn him about playing with my mom's affections?"

Mom smiles and shakes her head. "He's being paid to do what he does. I'm just kidding, Candi. I know my days of romance are well past. "

"That's only true if you want it to be, mom. You are such a beautiful soul," I say fervently. She's also gorgeous, but mom isn't impressed with compliments about appearance. "Any man would be lucky to have you in his life."

"Well, I love that you see the world that way." She pats my hand, none of her fingers curled in from pain. "Maybe that's why you can see the good in your assassin."

Looking at my mom's more relaxed appearance and her face uncreased with pain is all I need to see the good in Angelo.

He's behind the foundation that brought Petra into our lives. And the new wholistic regime she's got mom following is making a difference. The nurse brought in a dietician, a physical therapist who specializes in joint pain and an acupuncture doctor. All of whom are focused on minimizing mom's joint pain.

It's working.

Six months ago, even mom's indomitable will wouldn't have made it possible for her to show up here, demanding to see me after a car ride from Queens.

"He's more than an assassin," I remind my mom.

He's a man who cares deeply about a select few and I'm one of them. Every day that hits me more deeply.

Angelo doesn't want to own me, he wants to empower me. He wants to make it possible for me to do the things that matter to me. He installed a dance studio in the house. For me.

Because I love to dance.

But it's more than that. When I'm with him, my heart is happy. Do I need a logical reason for that?

I've got them but it's really not logical. It's pure emotion and he calls to my heart like no one else does. Not even mom and Cookie. They're different.

Family and important, but part of my life.

The feelings I have for Angelo are consuming and that's a little scary after such a short period of time actually spent together. No matter how he sees the last few months as dating .

"Yes, he is," mom readily agrees. "Whatever he does for a living, he is the man you love."

"I haven't told him that yet."

Mom's brows lift. "Has he told you he loves you?"

"Yes. Sort of. Is claiming he fell in love with me at first sight a genuine admission of love? I don't know what to believe. Angelo's so confident this thing between us is the real deal. But are his feelings love or obsession?"

"Sweetheart, when a man like him feels an emotion he considers to be love, I believe you can trust it to be the real thing," mom says reassuringly.

I wish that were true. "Isn't it the opposite? A man who only feels when he's with me would struggle to identify exactly what he's feeling, right?"

"What is love if it is not the willingness to change your life to accommodate another? The desire to spend time with that one person more than any other. Finding joy in their company."

That describes how I feel about Angelo to a T. "But—"

Mom cuts me off with a raised hand. "Sometimes, you get in your own head and miss what's right in front of you. Your Angelo has made incredible efforts on behalf of me and your sister. Most men would focus on you and the relationship you two have. But because he sees the love you have for us, that obsessive emotion, that need to take care of you spills over onto us. Sweetheart, I'm not sure there's a better example of love than that."

Tears prick my eyes, but I'm not sad. Joy fizzes in my veins like champagne at my mom's words. Because my mom is right. Obsession doesn't explain all that.

"Maybe he does love me," I say with some of that joy bubbling into my voice. "And maybe I need to admit that what I feel for him can't be called anything else either."

"Take a page out of my book of learnings and tell him sooner than later. Jakub and I dated for almost three years before I finally admitted my feelings for him because of my mother's disapproval. That's three years we could've been together as a man and wife. And when I lost him, you can believe I regretted every day of those three years."

My heart kicks a beat. "With the line of work Angelo is in, our time could be limited too."

"Not if he has anything to say about it and sweetheart, I think he does. Have you seen the attention to detail in the security of this place? Your Angelo is not going to die on you from sloppy mistakes or even unsloppy ones."

"I hope you're right, because I don't want to live without him now that I've experienced life with him." It's a scary thing to admit, but the truth usually is.

"I am so glad to hear that. You deserve a love like that."

"But my happiness doesn't have to come at the cost of yours." I get to the point of the talk I want to have with her. "Cookie doesn't have to live here to have a good life. You two don't have to live here for me to be happy."

Mom's smile is gentle. "I know that, Candi. I raised you to be independent and to spread your wings, but back in the Old Country, it's not uncommon for parents to live with their children."

"The apartment is your home though. It's the home you shared with Jakub. I don't want you feeling like you have to leave just because I am moving in with Angelo."

Mom's smile turns bittersweet. "That apartment holds many dear memories, but I've spent the better part of the past five years practically trapped there."

I open my mouth to respond and then shut it again. This is a time to listen, not talk.

"Even when the elevator works, getting outside is hard." Mom looks around the conservatory. "This place is paradise for a woman with my joints. I can enjoy the sunshine, plants and even a waterfall…"

I duck my head to hide my blush at her mention of the waterfall pool. Some things I will never tell my mom about and the special jet in that pool is one of them.

"The apartment is just a place. What matters is the love that existed between its walls. We're taking that with us."

"Are you saying you want to move in here permanently?" I ask, unable to hide my shock.

My mom seems less conflicted about leaving the only home she's known since moving to New York than I am about moving out of our small apartment.

"Yes."

"Wow. Cookie is going to be over the moon."

"I'll be the hero for at least a week, won't I?" Mom adjusts the throw over her legs.

"You'll always be our hero, mom. Don't you know that?"

Mom opens her arms and for the first time in recent memory we share a hug that doesn't make her wince in pain. That's down to Angelo and if I didn't love him already, I would fall fully and forever in this moment.