9. Chapter 9

The look on Maddox's face as he left. It left me broken. I'm more broken than I felt sitting in that office today. No matter how many times I tell Maddox, he'll never believe me that it wasn't his fault. Just like I won't believe him when he says it wasn't mine. It's all my fault, and I'm the common denominator. With each passing day, I think more about leaving this school.

Now, Dad is going to be battling with the board for me. If he doesn't win, the twins can be kicked out; they won't even be suspended. Their future is riding on a bunch of old guys. It's not fair. I should be in that room, pleading my case. But knowing Dad, he'll never let me go through the pain of telling anyone.

Even at twenty, he still treats me like his little girl. How the hell am I supposed to tell him about my stalker? It'll break his heart. I already lost one parent. I can't lose another.

I slowly make my way back to the bathroom, latching the door behind me. I don't care what Dad says. I'm going to that meeting tomorrow. I let the twins take the fall for me once.

I won't do it again.

They deserve a chance at a proper future, and I can't keep fucking it up. This is my chance to give them one. I'll tell the members where to shove their old balls if I have to. Cameron must leave this school before taking things further with another girl.

I move to the sink and stare at myself in the mirror. My hair is drying into a mess of wavy curls, almost like my life at this point—a mess.

"Jinx?" Ashton knocks and calls my name. "You doin' alright in there?"

Closing my eyes, I blow the air out of my lungs. My chest still aches when I try to take a deep breath; I might have to make a doctor's appointment for a different inhaler. I rub my chest to relieve some of the tension, but most of it isn't from my asthma. It's from what's going on every time I leave this room.

"I'm fine, Ashton. I'll be out shortly."

"That's nice. Unlock the door, or I'll break it down."

All I wanted was a moment to myself. I can't even get that. I unlock the door and swing it open.

"What?" I snap, losing all my patience.

His blue eyes grow a shade darker. "I'll let that slide. But you are not hiding in the bathroom all afternoon. Being alone after what happened isn't healthy for you or your mind. You can talk about it if you wish, but you are sitting with us."

I remember what he said earlier about being picked up off the bathroom floor. This is the second time he's found me in the bathroom. One day, he'll give up on me. I know it. There are only so many times you try to help someone before quitting. I push past him, but his hand clamps around my wrist.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." I try to rip my arm out of his grip, only for him to tighten his hold.

He tips my chin up, searching my eyes. "Don't lie to me. I can read you like a book. What's eating you?"

Like hell, I'm telling him what I'm about to do tomorrow. He'll only try to stop me. I can only think of one thing.

"Girly things."

He narrows his eyes, thinking for a second before letting me go. "I mean it when you want to talk."

"I know. Thanks, Ash."

"Just don't do anything stupid because I'm afraid of what I might do."

Crashing a meeting with the members isn't stupid. I leave him standing by the bathroom and head into the kitchen. Edgar lets out an ear splitting squawk when he sees me. I guess I did ignore him earlier. I watch as he hobbles toward me, and I swear he glares at me.

I kneel, placing my hand out for him. "I'm sorry. You come first from now on." He rubs his head into my hand, letting out a low kraa.

"When does his splint come off?" Atticus kneels next to me with his box of treats.

I grab a few and hold them out for Edgar to take. "I think it could come off this week. He seems to be doing much better and should be outside. I've grown accustomed to him being around everyday. It'll be hard to see him leave." Edgar quickly grabs a treat, swallowing it whole, pausing a moment before catching the last one.

"I think you'll do wonderful without him. Besides, do you think he won't visit you daily for treats?" He chuckles as Edgar hobbles to the jar, trying to get another treat.

Atticus wraps his hand around my hair, tugging it twice. I look up at him, and his face is all serious.

"I wanted to kill Cameron. Never be scared to tell me what is going on. I'll never be upset with you. I need you to know that. I can tell you blame yourself for what happened. Cameron is a predator. He feeds on people's fear, Jinx. I should've done more to him last time."

Great. Everyone is blaming themselves.

"Atticus. It's not your battle. It's mine."

"That you're not fighting alone," Ashton says from behind me.

I open my mouth, but Atticus jerks his head toward Ashton. A silent message is exchanged, and my heart skips a beat when Ashton scoops me up. A small scream spills from my mouth as I fly onto the couch.

"What the fuck?" I coughed out.

Ashton shrugs. "You needed a diversion."

Atticus walks around the couch, stopping at my head. "You need to get out of that head."

Ashton sits, lifting my legs into his lap, while Atticus lifts my head into his as he sits. Ashton grabs a foot, digging his thumb into a tender spot; my toes curl, and I groan. Atticus' fingers curl into my hair, massaging my scalp. My head flops back as my body relaxes. This is a perfect distraction. My eyes slowly drift close.

My body jolts awake, and it takes my brain a while to figure out where I am. A pool of sweat lies around me in bed, and my heart is thrumming wildly. It was only a nightmare; I tell myself. I'm in my dorm, not in the office with Cameron and Liam. I grab my phone off the nightstand, checking the time—2 a.m.

I peel the blanket away and step out of bed. I move to the dresser, finding a pair of shorts and Atticus's hoodie. Then, I moved to the bathroom. I'm surprised the guys didn't fall asleep with me. I don't even know if they are still here. I doubt they would leave me alone. The space is welcoming, I'll admit. I just need them to keep it up until I go. Sneaking around isn't my best attribute.

Turning on the shower, I twist around to grab a towel and jump when I notice Ashton leaning on the doorframe. His white-blond hair stands randomly, and my eyes drift down his chest, counting each ab. I've seen him shirtless before, but something about seeing him in his boxers does something to me. I've never seen Ashton like this before. He's always been reserved.

"Little swan. Did you have a nightmare?"

I nod.

He pushes off the doorframe, enveloping me in his arms. His skin is warm against my cheek, and he still smells like chlorine from his last swim.

"Do you need another distraction?" he whispers into my ear. He moves his hands down my back, over my ass, with a firm squeeze to my thighs; he lifts me onto the counter.

Ashton runs his hands down my thighs to my knees, pushing my legs wide. I almost forgot how to breathe when he stepped in between them. He coils his finger around the hem of Atticus' hoodie.

"I love my brother, but I hate him for letting you wear his clothes." He pulls the hoodie over my head, leaving me exposed. "You would put Aphrodite to shame, Jinx."

"Ashton," I murmured, bowing my head.

"Don't act shy on me now." He dips my chin up with his pointer finger. "I've seen you naked before."

"Yeah, but that was before."

"This is your body. You own it; nobody else does. I know it feels like you want to peel it off and burn it. It'll take a while for those feelings to go away. Know that you aren't alone. I know exactly how it feels."

His words sent a nervous chill down my spine. Hot tears welled along my lower lash line, threatening to spill with each blink—my poor Ash. My hand shook as I reached for his face. His eyes close as he turns his face deeper into my hand.

"I'm sorry, Ashton."

"I haven't been with a woman since that night, Jinx. The thought of them touching my dick makes my skin crawl."

"Is that why you won't let me?"

He slides his hand over mine, gliding it toward his mouth. With a small kiss on my palm, he moves down his neck. My fingertips press into his pulse, never feeling it skip a beat. He continues his journey, moving our hands over his chest, down his abs, just above the waistband of his boxers; our hands stop moving, and he lets out a small, painful groan.

I push him back and hop off the counter. He eased my pain. The least I can do is ease his. I gently press my lips over his heart to remind him it's still beating and that he didn't give up. No matter what, I'll be here for him. I won't leave again. I'll fight. I place kisses down his sternum; his hand moves into my hair when I kneel. Running my finger under the waistband, I watch his head fall back.

"Jinx, I'm not sure about this."

"I'll go slow. You tell me when to stop touching you."

"Okay. I can handle that." His throat bobs when he swallows.

I lower his boxers inch by inch, and when his trimmed pubes come into view, I freeze. I press my finger along the tattoo when his body jerks forward.

"Sorry, should I stop?"

"I'm sorry. Give me a second." He drops his hand to my shoulder, inhaling deep. "I take, you found my hidden tattoo?"

I run my finger over it again, hidden. It's a secret. "Why did you get it?"

"It reminded me of you, and I needed a part of you on my body."

The little black cello stands out against his blond hair. I lean forward, grazing my lips lightly across the tattoo. Ashton sucks in a trembling breath, digging his fingers into my shoulder.

"Did you want me to stop?"

"I—Okay, go slow."

I pull his boxers down lower, getting a view of the base of his dick. I look up, watching him with a slight nod; he tells me to continue. I let his boxers drop to the floor. Running my finger down the length of his shaft, I circle his tip, massaging the precum around.

"Shit, Jinx." His hand moves into my hair, pushing me closer. "Lick it."

I wrap my hand around the thickness of his shaft, bringing the tip of his dick to my lips—the velvety skin brushes against my warm lips, darting my tongue out. I taste the precum that's building.

"More," he rasps.

I lick from base to tip, his hand tightening in my hair when I bring him into my mouth. I sit there without moving, tasting him on my tongue. When I peer up, he fixes me with a wary stare. I go to pull him out, but he holds my head still.

"Just let me." He closes his eyes. "I need a second." After a long minute, he moves my head up and down at the pace he needs to go. I'll do what he needs to feel comfortable again.

"Jinx, I'm coming." Ashton moans. With a jerk of his hips forward, he spills down my throat. "Get up here. Let me taste it myself."

I straighten up, and he seizes my lips in a heartbeat. Pulling me tighter into his body, our lips move as if we're starving. When he finally pulls away, he licks his lips and smirks.

"The next time, I wanna taste us both together. Get in the shower; you're wasting water."

"Are you joining me?"

"Jinx, I need to start slow, and you being half-naked is killing me. I want you so bad, but I can't get in that shower with you."

"I get it. Go back to bed. Thanks for the distraction." I backed up, giving him space. He pulls his boxers up and turns for the door.

"You gonna be okay?" He glances over his shoulder.

I wave him off. "Yeah. I'll see you in the morning." I watch him leave, heading back to the living room area. I'm not even in the mood for a shower.

I turn the water off and change into new clothes. I have to be up in a few hours.