4. Neo

FOUR

NEO

I woke to the sun's beams drilling into my eyes. Shoving my palms into the soft earth beneath me, I moved into a sitting position. My head felt fuzzy, and the sunlight—so blindingly fucking bright—made me squint hard until my eyes adjusted to its harshness.

For the second time this week—or was it this month, this year? I couldn't even keep track of the damn date—I'd found myself waking up, clueless about where the hell I was.

Was my panther broken, or was I?

Maybe it was a mix of both.

Smoothing my hands over my face, I glanced around. Thick woods surrounded me. My panther perked up, radiating smug air. While I might be clueless about where we were, he was the mastermind behind our current whereabouts.

Gritting my teeth, I let out a low growl at him before blocking him out as best I could and getting to my feet. I stretched my arms overhead, feeling a surprising looseness in my muscles. It was a stark contrast to my previous state.

I felt great.

The tightness that had been tugging at my skin from lack of shifting for so long was gone. Every part of me felt limber and agile, thoroughly worked out. Even so, a part of me felt hollow.

Something was still missing.

My lips curled as thoughts of what happened before my panther burst from me filled my head. The witch with the green eyes waking me. The vampire paying me a visit. And then there were the gaps in my memory.

My mind had been screwed with.

I didn't understand why, but I was about to. My tribe would give me the answers I wanted or heads would fucking roll.

I let my panther close enough to the surface to tell me which way I needed to go, and then I shoved him back into the corner again, blocking him off. There was enough noise in my head. I didn't need him to add to it.

As I walked through the woods, naked, and with determination pulsing through my veins, I headed toward the clearing where the four campers my tribe had been hanging out in were. When I reached the area, the first person I spotted was Daxton.

He sat at a picnic table close to the pond I hadn't noticed last night with his head buried in his hands. As I grew close, he looked up. His eyes locked with mine, and I took note of the dark circles rimming them.

He looked like shit.

He'd been out here all night, waiting for me to return. Lifting my chin, I continued toward him. He might look like shit, but he was still going to tell me what the hell was going on.

"Hey," he said, tossing me a pair of shorts.

I caught them midair and pulled them on, my gaze never leaving his. He dropped his stare to the ground and released a sigh. My panther and I took it as a sign that we still reigned over him, despite whatever mindfuck we'd been through.

Silently, I took a seat next to Daxton at the picnic table. He owed me an explanation about what happened, and I shouldn't have to prompt him for it.

"How mad at me are you?" he asked, smoothing a hand along the back of his neck.

My jaw clenched as I glared at the sky, trying to contain my anger.

"I'm not sure," I growled, my voice low. My gaze shifted back to him. "Actually, I have no idea why I should even be mad at you. The gaps in my memory are a convenient excuse for you, aren't they?" My tone turned into a snarl.

Daxton nodded, a hint of fear flickering in his eyes. "Yeah, and I can't tell you anything about those memories. But it was necessary for a fresh start."

My panther roared inside me, and my blood boiled. Who the hell did he think he was to make those kinds of decisions—the alpha of the Ashen Tribe?

"I'm sorry," Daxton continued when I didn't speak, sensing how pissed I was through the tribe bond.

"I don't want your apologies," I seethed.

"I'm sorry. Even if you don't want to hear it, know that it's true," he pleaded, desperation flickering in his eyes. "But you have to trust me. Trust that I made the right decision for all of us, including you."

My jaw clenched as the desire to punch him in the face rippled through me. As I stared at him, I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. A small part of me softened, and defeat washed over me like a tidal wave. Despite my rage, I knew Daxton wouldn't have done what he had without good cause. Loyalty was his downfall, especially toward those he loved. I'd warned him countless times that it would be his undoing.

With a heavy sigh, I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees, dipping my head. It went against every fiber of my being, but I had to snuff out my anger. What was done was done. All I could do was trust that he'd made the right decision, because clearly, the ones I'd made up to this point had been shit.

"Fine," I said through gritted teeth. "But you need to explain why we're here. Why aren't we back home?" I asked, needing to know at least that much.

"This is our home now," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I sold everything to secure this place for us. It may not be much, but at least it's ours." A bitter smile crossed his lips.

My panther thrashed inside me. Any attempt at not being angry evaporated as rage consumed me again. I felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. My brother had betrayed me and our tribe by making decisions that would affect us all without even consulting me. For a moment, I thought my panther would rip out of me and draw blood.

I wouldn't have stopped him.

"I know you're pissed, and that you're probably thinking I betrayed you, but I didn't," Daxton insisted, his words coming out in a rush. "This was what had to be done to save us—to save you." His voice broke, and one look at him told me the decision hadn't come easily for him.

He'd struggled and continued to struggle with it.

Good. Being alpha wasn't a walk in the park, and the decisions he'd made held repercussions for us all.

Me included.

"That was a steep price to pay. One hell of a cost. Was it worth it?" I asked, my tone dripping with venom.

"Only you can decide, based on where you lead us from this point on."

A faint flicker of relief crept through me and my panther because Daxton's words confirmed one thing—we were still alpha of the Ashen Tribe.

And then the pressure of the situation we were in as a tribe hit.

While I wasn't sure what I'd done to throw our tribe into such chaos and jeopardize its safety, it had happened. My missing memories weren't coming back. They were gone for good, and a part of me felt it might be for the best.

I couldn't dwell on any of that now.

My tribe needed me in the present. They needed a strong alpha who could make things right and get us back on track. I had to regain their loyalty and trust, even though I felt like I didn't deserve it. First, there was a question that I needed an answer to.

"Are we still the Ashen Tribe?" I demanded.

Daxton nodded. "We took the name with us when we left."

Relief powered through me. At least everything about us hadn't changed.

"Are you, Miranda, and Lorenzo all that's left of the tribe?" I asked, and he nodded again in agreement. "What about the rest?" I pressed.

"They moved on."

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach, and I hung my head. I must've really fucked up royally. It was easy to do, though. The Ashen Tribe was bound by countless rules and age-old traditions.

They didn't make things easy.

Love was never the foundation of mate bonds within the tribe. We mated purely for survival. Rules dictated every aspect of our lives. As alpha, my choices were often harsh and decisive. Strength was power. Emotions were weakness. Every decision was about the greater good of the tribe, which meant it was easy to cross lines and to make choices that, in hindsight, might seem questionable or extreme.

Which was what I must have done.

My panther and I had done something we must have felt was for the best of the tribe, for their greater good, and it had either backfired or we'd taken it too far. None of that mattered, though.

Going forward was all that did. And this time, it would be without the others and their rigid rules and traditions.

This was the rebirth of a panther, the rebirth of me.

I'd been the problem before, my panther and me. It was on us to rebuild our tribe, on us to fix this, and in order to do that, I needed to start acting like an alpha, one this tribe could be proud to call their own.

My gaze skimmed over the campers and the land they sat on. This was home now. Deep down, something about that felt right. We belonged here. All of us, even me.

"Tell me the details," I demanded. "How far is the money you gathered going to take us?"

Daxton scratched his brow. "Well, we didn't have a lot back home, but it was enough to pay the witch to wake you, Joe for his ability, to buy this piece of land, and then to get us each a crappy camper. They're temporary, but the land, that's home."

He'd made it work. They all had. The Ashen Tribe had always been known for its resilience, and this situation was no different. We might have hit rock bottom, but we were damn sure not going to stay there.

"We're going to be fine. I got a job at the local fitness center. Lorenzo's working at the sporting goods store on Main Street now. And Miranda has been killing it with her online serums and lotions shop," he said. "We've all managed to settle in as best we could while trying to figure out how to wake your ass up." He flashed me a crooked grin.

They'd done good. If this was all that was left of the Ashen Tribe, it was solid. That much was clear.

"How long was I out for?" From the sounds of it, and the way I'd felt upon waking, it seemed like I'd been sleeping fucking beauty for six months or more.

"A month." Daxton winced. "Give or take a few days."

I blinked. "You did all that in a month?"

"Yeah, but only because I had no choice."

I'm proud of you. The words formed in my head, but they wouldn't push past my lips. It wasn't something the old me would say—emotions were weakness. Honestly, it wasn't something the old me would even think. Yet here I was, thinking it.

Baby steps.

I slapped Daxton on the back. "Go get some sleep. You look like shit."

A chuckle escaped him as he slid off the picnic table and headed for his camper. I remained where I was, soaking in everything I'd learned, and thinking of what my next move should be.

From where I was sitting, it looked as though finding a job would be a good place to start. Right now, I was the only one jobless in the tribe, which meant I was deadweight. Plus, we needed money if we were ever going to make these shitty campers into something worth living in.