Chapter Eight

His chest hurt like every bone inside was broken. A loud beep kept driving him crazy, like a bee buzzing his head. Quentin pried open his eyes. His throat hurt. So did his nose. He reached up and felt his face. It was closer than he realized. Cords smacked his cheek. There was a tube in his nose.

"Ow."

Snow shot to his feet to hover over him. "What hurts?"

Quentin blinked at the sight of him. He hadn't known Snow was there. "Hey." Was that his voice? He sounded terrible.

A sweet smile touched Snow's lips. "Hey, baby. What hurts?"

Quentin assessed himself. "Everything."

Snow nodded. "I'll ask them to give you some meds."

"Don't go." Even Quentin heard the neediness in his voice. Memories flooded back. He didn't want to be a burden any longer. "Never mind. You should go home. Who's with Pink right now?"

"I'm right here," Pink said from somewhere to his left. "I'll go let the nurse know you're awake."

Defeat washed over Quentin. "I'm sorry."

Snow's brow furrowed. "For what?"

"I can't even die in a way that doesn't inconvenience everyone."

Snow pinched the spot between his eyes. He dropped his hand. "Please don't. I'm already pissed off at you and I'm trying to let it go."

"Great." Quentin closed his eyes. Maybe if he tried harder, death would take him. He was trying to make Snow's life easier.

A gentle stroke ran down his arm. Quentin's eyes burned at the touch. "You should stop." Quentin couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't look at Snow. "It's time for you to be happy and focus on yourself. I'm so fucking tired of holding you back." Quentin's voice shook. "I can't live with knowing I'm keeping you from enjoying a full life."

"I can't live without you."

The way Snow's voice broke had Quentin's eyes opening. The moment they did, tears rolled from the corners of his eyes.

Snow looked wrecked. "I don't want to live without you. You have to stop pushing me away. If you want me to have a full and happy life, then fucking fight to stay with me because you're the only life left in me."

Quentin tried another tactic to get Snow to see reason. "Pink deserves two parents."

"Yeah. That's you two," Pink said, obviously coming back just in time to hear Quentin's words. He moved to stand at Snow's side. "So you need to get better."

Despite everything, a smile tugged at Quentin's lips at the sight of him. "You look so good. That makes me happy."

"I heard you're having some pain. Let's get these meds in you."

Before Quentin even had time to focus on the nurse, the guy pumped a full syringe into Quentin's IV. Warmth spread through his chest, stealing his breath.

"Why does my chest hurt so much?"

"That would be the CPR," Adam said from somewhere in the same direction Pink had been earlier.

"Damn. How many people are hiding in here?"

The nurse chuckled. "Do you need anything? Would you like to try taking a sip of water?"

Quentin nodded. If he planned to fight, he had to start somewhere.

"I need to raise this bed. Tell me if you need me to stop."

The bed slowly rose. His ribs shifted, making him wince, but the drugs were already helping. He breathed through the pain. His throat hurt and water sounded amazing.

"God, let me keep this down."

"That shouldn't be a problem. We've got you on some pretty strong anti-nausea medicine. Your body needs some sustenance. The feeding tube and IV are helping with that."

Quentin nodded. He let the nurse help him with a sip of some water before the tiny chore exhausted him. "Thank you."

With a nod, the nurse left him alone with his firing squad.

Pink tugged at his t-shirt, looking uncomfortable. "I guess I should head out and get out of your hair. You should be resting."

"Wait." He couldn't let Pink get away yet. The last time he had seen Pink, he had been in a pool of his own blood and Quentin didn't know how much time he had left. He fought to lower the railing beside him. Finally, Snow helped. Quentin patted the bed at his side.

Pink gingerly sat, as if he feared hurting Quentin. He kept twisting his t-shirt, stretching it. His open anxiousness broke Quentin's heart.

Quentin took his hand, stopping the nervous motion. "Tell me about therapy."

A sad smile touched Pink's lips. "You need to focus on healing."

Quentin shook his head. "No. Tell me first."

"Well, I'm still going," Pink said with an uneasy laugh.

Quentin nodded. "Good. I'm glad to hear it. That makes it okay for me to say this. If you ever pull any shit like that again, I will personally kick your ass. Well, maybe not personally, but I can pay Adam to do it. You scared the hell out of me. There's nothing in this world I can't help you fix. I can afford to have someone killed for you, if that's what it takes. No matter what, we can make it better together."

A laugh burst from Pink. "Maybe you should get well, then. If you leave me, I can't come to you."

"Deal."

Pink leaned in and gave him a butterfly hug, showing his affection without hurting Quentin.

Adam stood. "Come on. I'll take you home. We'll get something to eat and come back later."

Quentin met Adam's stare and mouthed, "Thank you." He knew Adam did way more than he got credit for doing.

Adam dipped his chin.

He waited until the pair left before Quentin patted the bed for Snow to join him.

"You're not going to threaten to kick my ass too, are you?"

"No." Quentin flashed a sad smile. "You should probably threaten to kick mine, except maybe don't. Life is doing a good enough job of that already."

"I love you and I'm still so fucking mad at you for shutting me out."

Quentin shook his head. "I never wanted this ugly life for you. The first time we kissed, all I could think about was how I was too broken for you. That just never seems to get any better. I just want to give you this amazing life and life keeps stopping me."

"You have given me an amazing life. Every night I've gotten to fall asleep next to you has been the best night of my life. You can't take that from me. I can't handle it."

"I love you. Do you think Pink is too old for us to adopt him?"

A laugh burst from Snow. "Nice redirect. You'll have to live and we should probably get married before we start adopting people willy-nilly."

"Okay."

Snow nodded. "Okay."

They shared a smile. Despite his exhaustion, Quentin felt better because he knew he wasn't alone. Snow was his partner. Things would get better. He could rest now.

Snow still shook inside. He knew he would likely feel that way for a long while. Coming so close to losing Quentin permanently wasn't something he would soon move past. No matter how hard he tried, Snow couldn't leave his side even to eat. Chef John and Adam had been bringing him food. Pink had packed him a bag, and he showered in Quentin's room. He couldn't walk away. Snow lived in constant fear Quentin would never wake and would slip away the moment Snow left.

Now he was awake, talking, and making plans for the future. It was more than Snow dared to hope.

The door opened and Dr. Christie strolled in. He smiled at the sight of Quentin. "They said you were awake."

Quentin managed a weak smile. "Yeah. I'm still kicking."

"That's good." He turned resolute. "Now, we have to get serious. There's no way I can send you home at this point. You're not strong enough to care for yourself. I know you've been stubborn about this until now. That's no longer an option if you want to live. We have two choices here. I can keep you here until you're stronger or I can set you up with a twenty-four-hour medical team to treat you at home. Either way, you're not out of the woods and you need full-time care."

Snow nodded. He took control. Quentin didn't need to be handling anything while trying to heal. "I'm Quentin's fiancée. Honestly, I don't think Quentin wants to be stuck here. Being in his own bed is a lot more conducive to healing, but you're absolutely right. He needs a full-time care team. The anti-nausea medication hasn't been helping. He can't keep even the tiniest bit of liquid down. Quen definitely has to have…" Snow motioned toward the entire setup of tube feeding and IVs of liquid.

Dr. Christie nodded. "I agree the home care team is the best choice. He won't have people who are splitting their time between multiple patients. With a cancer this aggressive, he needs constant care."

Snow glanced Quentin's way to get his thoughts. He was asleep. Pride filled his chest. Quentin trusted him to handle things. His gaze moved back to the doctor.

Dr. Christie had his nose stuck in his laptop, clicking away. Without looking up, he continued their conversation. "You're Snow, correct?"

Snow nodded before he realized the man couldn't hear his head rattle. "Yes."

"Okay. You're the one listed to handle Quentin's medical decisions. All I need to get started is your verbal consent and for you to sign some paperwork with the hospital. Once that's out of the way, I'll get his transfer started."

"Sounds good. You have my consent."

Dr. Christie nodded and headed out, leaving them alone. For a moment, Snow simply watched Quentin sleep.

"I'll make you better. You'll see." He would take Quentin home and stand by him every step of the way. They would get married and have an amazing life. There was no other acceptable outcome. Snow would fix him.