Chapter 17

J o walked into Gwen's drawing room on a Monday afternoon in late July, precisely ten weeks since she'd last seen Sheff. With her mother gone—to the exact place where Sheff was—Jo had called an emergency meeting of her friends. But first, she'd asked Gwen to host. She'd needed to get away from the club, and that included her home since it was attached.

Gwen greeted her with a warm smile, but her brow was pleated, reflecting her concern. They embraced and sat together on a settee.

"You probably don't wish to say anything until the others arrive," Gwen said. "But if there is something you need right now, just tell me."

"Thank you." Jo felt surprisingly calm. Perhaps that was due to the various levels of distress she'd felt over the past several weeks. She'd gone from mild concern to pragmatic worry to complete panic. Now she'd simply accepted the truth—she was with child. The question was what she should do next. The future she'd planned since entering into the scheme with Sheff must be altered. As an unwed mother, she could not live a life that even bordered London Society.

She'd considered not carrying the child, but once she'd acknowledged its presence, she'd been shocked to also realize that she wanted to have it. She wanted to be a mother, to give a child the love and care her own mother had given her, which she'd done almost entirely alone.

Min and Ellis arrived then, followed by a maid who set up a tea service on a table near the windows outside the seating arrangement where Jo and Gwen were situated. The new arrivals sat with them, taking the opposite settee.

"We're just waiting for Tamsin and Persephone."

"Persey is coming?" Min asked. "How lovely."

Jo didn't know the Duchess of Wellbourne as well as she knew the others, but Gwen had said that she was keen to leave the house and visit with friends now that her son was several months old. She'd asked if Jo minded inviting her, and Jo did not. The more support and counsel she could receive, the better.

The duchess, rather, Persephone, arrived next. Everyone had just finished embracing when Tamsin walked into the drawing room.

"Oh, Persey is here!" Tamsin rushed in and hugged her with a happy smile. "It's so lovely to see you."

"It is quite lovely to be seen. And to be out of my house," Persephone added with a laugh.

"Is Wellesbourne tending to baby Jonathan?" Min asked.

"Not by himself," Persephone said wryly.

"Is he crawling yet?" Tasmin asked.

Persephone shook her head. "It's far too soon for that. Thank goodness. We are enjoying listening to him babble and making him laugh."

"I know almost nothing about children," Tamsin said with a chuckle. "Laughing and babbling sound wonderful."

The talk of babies made Jo's breath catch. She didn't know much about children either, but she was going to have to learn. How she wished her mother were here. Why was this happening the first time she'd actually left Jo?

Jo realized the others had turned their attention to her. "I, ah, suppose you're wondering why I asked you all to come today." She looked at Gwen beside her. "Thank you for hosting. And thank you for becoming my friend and introducing me to everyone else. I've never had close friends before, and I am particularly glad to have them now."

Dammit, tears were threatening. She did not want to cry! But she'd noticed her emotions had become much more intense in the last several weeks.

Jo took a deep breath. She'd thought about what she wanted to say and how she wished to say it. She would not let emotion rule. "I've something to confess. Sheff and I were never really betrothed. It was a scheme he concocted to avoid the Marriage Mart for the rest of the Season. He does not wish to marry, and his parents had been pressuring him for years to do so. The plan was for us to pretend to be betrothed then at the end of the Season, Sheff would leave town. He would then behave in such a way that would generate gossip so that I could cry off with the excuse that I couldn't possibly wed a rogue like him."

"The Rogue Rules in action," Ellis murmured with a faint smile.

"He didn't wait until the end of the Season, though," Gwen observed. "He left weeks ago."

"But he did behave badly," Tamsin said with a frown. "And can you believe that horrible Mrs. Loose-Lips was behind that gossip too?" She looked around at everyone who responded with a combination of rolled eyes, grunts, and pursed lips.

"Mrs. Loose-Lips?" Jo asked.

Min made a face. "She was the busybody in Weston who caught Pandora and Bane together, then told everyone. Then the next year, she saw Tamsin and Droxford having a private moment, followed by Droxford hitting the man Tamsin's father had arranged for her to wed. Her name is Mrs. Lawler, and she's an abomination. This is the third year running now that she's stuck her nose into someone's business. Can't she just look the other way and keep her mouth shut?"

"Apparently not," Gwen said. She looked to Jo. "So, that was all planned? You knew Sheff would resort to roguery and that would be the end of the scheme?"

Jo nodded. "It all happened according to his plan—except the part where he left town before the Season ended. He did that, in part, to save me having to attend so many Society events. His mother kept pressuring me to do more, and I did not commit to that when I accepted Sheff's proposal. I still have to manage the Siren's Call, which the duchess didn't approve of either." She glanced toward Min, who was clenching her jaw.

"I'm sorry she was so difficult," Min said. "She is pleased that you and Sheff are not going to marry. But she is also furious with Sheff for behaving like our father. I confess, I am also angry about that."

"Don't be," Jo said, lifting her chin. "That is who he is, and I certainly didn't expect any differently." Indeed, his run of celibacy had surprised her.

"You said you are glad to have friends right now," Persephone said with a concerned smile. "How can we help?"

This was the difficult part. Jo felt like such a fool. "It seems that with spending so much time together pretending to be in love, Sheff and I developed a strong mutual attraction. Before he left London, we, ah, gave in to that, and I'm afraid I am now suffering the consequences." She returned Persephone's smile, but then her throat constricted, and she couldn't say anything more.

"He will marry you," Min said, her gaze meeting Jo's with a quiet confidence.

"He doesn't know, and I'm not sure he needs to. He doesn't want to wed, and I've no desire to force him. I don't really want to wed either." Except, she did, and not just because of the child. She loved Sheff. Her plans to follow in her mother's footsteps hadn't been what Jo really wanted. She wanted a family of her own. "Yes, we should have refrained from…roguery. We tried to be careful."

"You intend to carry it, then?" Ellis asked.

Tamsin snapped her gaze toward Ellis. "What else would she do?"

"There are ways to prevent the pregnancy," Jo said. "And I did think of that, but the truth is that I love this child, and I want to raise him or her."

"Do you love its father?" Persephone asked quietly. "You've said nothing of how you feel about Sheff, except that you were attracted to one another. Was that all it was?"

Jo took a moment to respond. It would be easier to lie, but these were her friends. "No. I fell in love for real. However, that was not the plan. I don't want to saddle Sheff with a wife he doesn't want."

Ellis's expression was sympathetic. "I see your conundrum. You love Sheff and you are carrying his child, but you don't want to be stuck in a marriage where your love is not reciprocated."

Jo thought of her father breaking her mother's heart when he was unfaithful. "No, I do not."

"But you have to tell him about the child," Tamsin said adamantly.

"I don't want him to feel obligated to marry me when neither of us wanted that," Jo said.

"Is that still the case, though?" Gwen asked, drawing Jo to turn her head. "You've fallen in love. Perhaps he has too. I think several of us—and our husbands—can say we never intended to fall in love with a rogue, and yet here we are." She laughed softly.

Min pressed her lips together. "In your cases, the rogues reformed. As much as I love my brother, I am not sure he can do that."

"You said he would marry me," Jo said to Min. "Does that mean you think I should marry a rogue knowing he won't change? What's the rule about that?"

"Never trust a rogue to change," a few of them answered nearly in unison.

"Am I to expect the kind of marriage that my parents have where they live apart and are not really married except in name only? Or worse, Min's parents, who can't even be pleasant to one another?" Jo asked, feeling despondent. She did love Sheff, but she couldn't think their marriage would be happy, not after everything he'd said to her about expecting to be like his father.

Persephone sent her an understanding nod. "Acton's parents were like that too. They didn't even live in the same city. I can understand you not wanting to subject yourself to that. But it would be better for the babe if you married Sheff."

"You don't have to live together," Ellis said. "You were already looking forward to a life of independence. You can still have that as his countess. He won't begrudge you that. In fact, I think he'd want you to have that." Her features softened with encouragement.

Ellis had described Jo's parents' arrangement. As much as Jo didn't want that, she would accept it for the sake of her child. She did not want to condemn him or her to illegitimacy.

"My father just informed me last night that he and my mother will no longer reside together at Henlow House," Min said rather evenly. "He's told her she can spend the Season at Beacon Park and then come to Henlow House in summer and autumn, when Papa is not in town. She will never do that. Or, he said he'll purchase her a nice house wherever she would like except Grosvenor Square."

"I can't imagine she took that very well," Persephone said with a faint snort.

Min shook her head. "I confess I'm shocked my father would do such a thing, but he said he won't have her haranguing me about marriage any longer. Or being cruel to Ellis." Min glanced toward Ellis, who sat straight and unflinching, her expression serene.

Persephone blinked at her. "That is remarkable. When did your father return from Weston?"

"Just last week." Min looked back to Jo. "I did not mean to divert us from Jo's situation. She needs a plan for telling my brother he's to be a father." She suddenly smiled. "And I'm to be an aunt. I must admit I am thrilled."

Seeing Min's expression gave Jo more comfort than she'd had in weeks. She felt a surge of strength and courage. "I think I must go to Weston and tell Sheff about the babe. If he proposes, I will say yes."

" When he proposes," Min said with a grin, and the others nodded in agreement.

They were all so sure Sheff would marry her. Jo was still worried about forcing themselves into a marriage neither wanted. Though, if they both wanted the child, perhaps it would be all right. Especially since her friends were right—she loved him. Didn't she owe it to herself to find out if there was any chance at all they could be happy together?

Gwen took Jo's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I think you must also tell Sheff how you feel. There is every chance he may feel the same. Lazarus kept his love from me because he thought that was best for me." She rolled her eyes. "He was wrong. Please don't make that mistake. You'll never know what could happen if you don't tell him the truth."

Jo wanted so badly to have what Gwen and Lazarus did. She hadn't realized just how much until there was a child. The family she hadn't known she wanted was just within reach.

"Does anyone here think Sheff can reform himself from a rogue to a faithful husband and father?" Jo asked.

"I do," Tamsin said loudly and with a bright smile.

"That is not surprising to anyone," Min said with a laugh. "You are the most optimistic person in the room."

"In London, really," Gwen added with a grin.

"I also think Sheff can reform," Ellis said, and that was surprising. "Before he left London, he seemed different to me. He was more thoughtful. More reserved. As if something weighed on his mind."

"You think he loves Jo?" Min asked.

Ellis lifted a shoulder, her gaze fixing on Jo. "I think Jo should find out."

"We are all leaving for Weston day after tomorrow," Tamsin said. "You must come with us."

So that everyone could witness her humiliation when Sheff probably said he did not love her in return? "I think I might prefer privacy."

"Then leave tomorrow," Min said. "You can take one of my father's coaches."

"Does she need a chaperone?" Tamsin asked.

"No," Jo said firmly. "I've never had one before, and I'm not starting with that now." What good was a chaperone when she was already with child?

She would arrive in Weston a day ahead of everyone. Whatever happened with Sheff, Jo would have her mother near, then she would shortly also have her friends. "All right. I'll leave in the morning. Thank you, Min. And everyone." She looked around and felt a catch in her throat. "I'm so very fortunate to have you all as my friends."

"We are just as fortunate to have you," Gwen said, releasing Jo's hand so she could put her arm around her and give her a sideways hug.

Butterflies took flight in Jo's belly. Or was it the baby? No, it was nervous anticipation, for now that Jo knew what she would do, she was anxious to do it.

She would be glad for the journey, however, as there was much to consider. What if she did marry Sheff? She would be a countess, and she'd be expected to do all the Society things, including the ones she found tedious. But she would also be able to host literary salons and be invited to all manner of scholarly discussions. She had to think there were people who would not accept her, but she didn't care. Would Sheff? Given his anger at how she'd been given the cut direct, she didn't think he would.

Perhaps everything would work out. A future Jo never imagined flitted before her.

With Sheff's love, you can do anything.

The sentiment rose in her mind, surprising her. Did she believe that? She knew that acknowledging her love for him made her feel stronger and more secure. Perhaps his love would do the same.

She had only to find out if that love existed.

M rs. Ingram, the Grove's rather tall housekeeper, bustled into the library and stopped short upon seeing Sheff sprawled in a chair. He was reading a novel. Or trying to anyway.

"I didn't realize you were in here, my lord. I can return later." She spoke in a lilting southern Welsh accent.

"Don't let me interrupt your plans," Sheff said, snapping the book closed. He'd wanted to read a novel to feel closer to Jo, but he just couldn't focus. "I should go for a ride." He hadn't been for several days.

"That would be beneficial, I think." Mrs. Ingram, a sometimes stoic woman with assessing blue eyes, studied Sheff a moment. "You've not left the house in a few days, at least."

Five, but who was counting? Sheff's outings had dwindled after his father had returned to London.

"I can see you are moping about. Is it because your father left? Your friends will be here by the end of the week, won't they?"

Somerton, Wellesbourne, Droxford, and Price were all departing London the day after tomorrow for their annual holiday together. They would, indeed, arrive in Weston by the end of the week.

"Surely that will cheer you," she added with a nod.

Sheff grunted as he stood. He deposited the book on a table. "I know you don't approve of some of our activities, but rest assured that with most everyone married now, things will be far more sedate. Furthermore, only Price will be staying here." Sheff was fairly certain she already knew that but felt it worth repeating. Mrs. Ingram clearly preferred Min and Ellis to Sheff and his friends.

"Along with your sister and Miss Dangerfield," the housekeeper said. "We will be prepared." She hesitated, but seemed as though she wanted to say something more.

"Is there something else?" Sheff asked.

"I only wondered if perhaps you were missing the woman you spent the evening with at the party. I would have expected you to invite her back."

"What woman?"

"I saw a woman visiting your room late that night." She shrugged. "I should not have mentioned it. You just seem sad, and I wondered if that was why."

Sheff exhaled his frustration away. It wasn't the housekeeper's fault that she assumed him to be a lothario. He had been for a very long time. "That woman came to my room, and I turned her away. I am not the same man you've known."

"But there were those women in the garden too," Mrs. Ingram said, her brow furrowing.

"Like the woman you saw outside my room, they presumed I would want to spend time with them and pushed themselves upon me without my consent. I was not interested in their attentions, nor am I now."

The housekeeper blanched. "How were they to know that?"

"They could have asked instead of assuming." He gave her a pointed look. "Just as you could have not assumed I spent the night with the woman you saw."

She pressed her lips together into a flat line. "I did make an assumption. But I did so based on years of behavior. I'm sure those women thought you wanted their attention. I'm sorry that you did not and were made to suffer it anyway."

Her words made Sheff think about his own behavior in the past. Had he ever made assumptions or taken advantage of a situation? He hoped not, but he couldn't be entirely sure. At least these women had left him alone after he'd made it clear he wasn't interested—and he'd always done the same with women.

"I must make it known that I am no longer the rake I used to be, I suppose."

"And why is that? What prompted you to change?" Mrs. Ingram asked, seeming genuinely curious.

Sheff smiled sadly. "I lost my heart." He touched his chest. "It belongs to the loveliest woman, and I truly thought it would be a temporary loan. Alas, I fear she will own it forever."

Mrs. Ingram's brow pleated again. "She rejected you?"

The housekeeper's reaction and frank question somewhat surprised him. He hadn't been rejected, but why did he feel as if that were the case? "She is not interested in marriage."

"Her refusal must have been upsetting. I'm sorry."

"I didn't actually ask her." Not for real. What would happen if he did? If he told her that he was desperately in love with her, and that he was nearly certain he would always be?

"Then you're daft," Mrs. Ingram said with a shake of her head. "Go and ask her and see if she really would reject you. Then you can mope about."

He could go to London—which his father had suggested several times and Sheff had declined. Now the housekeeper was going to persuade him to fight for Jo? He would have asked if the duke had put her up to this, but Mrs. Ingram had seemed unaware of Jo until now.

"Who is this young lady?" Mrs. Ingram asked, confirming Sheff's supposition.

"She's a friend of my sister's. In London."

The housekeeper's eyes rounded, then she grimaced. "I'm afraid I wrote to your sister about the woman outside your room. I thought you had spent the night together."

Sheff gaped at her. "Why would you tell Min about that?" And had Min told Jo? Did that even matter since Jo had heard the gossip about the women in the garden, thanks to Mrs. Lawler, and already cried off?

Mrs. Ingram shrugged, her expression contrite. "I have a close relationship with Lady Minerva. I write to her once a month or so about what's happening here."

Whether Jo knew or not, Sheff needed to see her. He needed her to know that he had changed—for good. His future wasn't written. He could choose love. He would choose love and marriage, if Jo would have him. "I must go to London at once." As it was afternoon, he would leave at first light tomorrow.

"May I offer you advice, my lord?" the housekeeper asked.

Sheff wanted to sprint from the room and set his valet to packing, but he remained. "What would that be?"

"If you've truly changed, you may want to make that known, so you are no longer…inconvenienced by admirers." She smiled. "Perhaps you should take an advertisement in the Times ?"

It was a ridiculous idea—a joke. But he was tempted. He yearned to shout from the rooftops that he loved Jo and wanted her to be his wife.

That he'd been mooning about the past several weeks instead of recognizing the massive change he'd undergone was infuriating. But the only thing he could do was stop it right now and step into the future he wanted.

He could only hope she might want it too.

"I'll be leaving for London as soon as the sun is up." Sheff hastened from the room then, his mind on how to woo Jo.

What if she refused him? She had plenty of reason to, not the least of which was his roguish past behavior. There was also the fact that she didn't particularly care for all of Society's aspects, nor had Society treated her very well. How could he ask her to make that her life permanently?

Finally, there was the small reality that she didn't want to wed, that it was likely she didn't even love him. She'd only written to him once since he'd left London, and that was to confirm the next stage of their plan.

Sheff faltered, his gait slowing as he entered the staircase hall. No, he wouldn't hide behind his fear any longer. If she rejected him, he would accept that.

But if he didn't try, he'd never know if happiness could be theirs.