SEVENTEEN

A s thrilled as I was to be out in the garden alone with him, I knew that my place was inside with the cast and crew. I wanted to enjoy the wrap party with them all. But I was intrigued by Barn’s invitation to come outside with him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve thought of this moment,” he said, his tone low and romantic. “I’ve longed to be alone with you... finally.”

“Barnaby,” I said looking into his eyes. “I have to admit that I was really confused. I thought....”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “Forget about all that. That’s all in the past. We can come out and be who we are - a couple with a serious and sincere relationship.”

My knees struggled to stay locked to keep me upright.

“As a matter of fact...” He reached into his pocket. “I really want to make it clear to the world...”

My breath caught in my throat. Was he really going to say what I thought he was going to say? Were we really going to take that step?

Was I ready?

Yes. Yes, I was ready.

“I want to officially make you mine,” Barn said. He leaned in to kiss me but...

“Oh,” a male voice muttered. “Sorry.”

I turned away from Barn’s kiss to see Jai standing nearby. He looked at Barn, his eyes filled with disbelief. His gaze slowly met mine, confused. The look in his eyes... My heart broke just seeing the pained look in his eyes.

“Sorry to interrupt. Keely is looking for both of you.” He quickly turned and walked away.

Shoot. I closed my eyes, suddenly ashamed. Jai, so sweet and always there for me... since the very first day I met him.

“So,” Barn said, clearly annoyed by the interruption. “What do you say, love? Do we make it official?”

Official? What did that mean exactly? Were we getting engaged? Did he really want to marry me? I didn’t know what to think anymore.

“I don’t know, Barn. This is all so... We just wrapped on the movie, the past weeks have been like a circus and now...”

“Ayra, come on. We’re...”

“I don’t know, Barn,” I said as I stepped back. Barn looked at me, confused and devastated. “I just don’t know.” I turned and ran after Jai.

I rushed into the Manor and stopped at the first person I saw. “Did you see Jai?”

The older man shrugged then shook his head.

Another staffer passed by.

“Excuse me. Have you seen Jai?”

Another shook his head.

Again and again, I asked employees of the manor and crew members from the movie if they’d seen him.

No one had. Not one.

“Miss,” a young woman called out to me.

I turned to her, frantic. “Yes.”

“You’re looking for Jai?”

“Yes. Yes. Have you seen him.”

She nodded. “I just came in to start my shift and I crossed him out in the parking lot. He was heading to his Rover. By the time I reached the door, he was pulling out onto the road. I think he might have been heading into town.”

My need to find him, to catch up to him was so great, I didn’t even think to thank the girl. I simply rushed to the front door of the manor.

“Ayra,” someone called to me, grabbing my hand as they tried to stop me.

I yanked my hand free and continued on my way, desperate to find Jai and wipe that pained look from his eyes.

“Ayra,” the person called again, feeble and tired. “Wait.”

I had no time to wait. Jai was out on the road, dejected... rejected.

Damn. How could I have been so stupid. How could I not see what was right there in front of me.

Damn!

I ran out of the manor and headed to the parking lot, though I didn’t know what I would do once I got there.

What was I doing? Why? Why was I suddenly so desperate to get to him?

I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and just stood there. Old fashioned streetlamps lit the perimeter of the lot, flooding the area with a warm yellow glow. And yet I felt so cold. So cold and empty.

Since becoming a producer on the film I’d discovered my capacity to take charge and to show authority. I was no longer the lost young woman who was so unsure of herself.

But now, I felt just as lost as I had those first days; lost and confused.

Find him, my heart said. Just find him.

I tried a few of the car doors, but they were all locked.

“What are you doing, Ayra?” a gentle and familiar voice said as I was tapped on the shoulder. “Steal a car?”

I closed my eyes, not wanting to turn around. Whichever cast or crew member it happened to be, I didn’t want to be bothered, not even by Keely. I just wanted to figure out what was going on in my head. What did I really feel for Jai?

“Ayra.”

I finally turned to the persistent intruder.

“Mom?” I muttered, stunned by the sight of her. “Mom, what...? I don’t understand. What are you doing here?”

She smiled, that sweet and wise smile that she always had whenever I was too confused to figure things out on my own. “Well, first of all, you invited me to Moon Manor.”

Closing my eyes and leaning back against the car whose door I’d tried to open, I suddenly remembered with a touch of embarrassment the invitation I’d sent her.

“Sorry. You’re right. I guess I forgot.”

“Clearly,” she said, that wise smile still playing on her lips.

“When did you get here?”

“Earlier today.”

“Why didn’t you come and tell me?”

“I wanted to rest... and I didn’t want to be in the way. Keely told me she planned to shoot the last scene today... and she invited me to the wrap party.”

I huffed, too emotional to say anything.

“What is it that has you so upset, Ayra? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.”

“Nothing, Mom. Just... nothing.”

“I’ve been chasing after you since you walked into the manor, and you didn’t even see me. You didn’t hear me call after you. Clearly something important is on your mind.”

I looked at her, my throat constricted as a sob fought to break out.

“My dear, sweet Ayra.” She stepped closer and reached out to set a lock of hair behind my ear. “Talk to your mama.”

“Oh, Mom,” I blubbered as I fell into her arms. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Come on,” she whispered as she gently stroked my hair. “Let’s get you inside and we’ll have a nice chat.”