26. Chris

Chapter 26

Chris

I 'm going about this all wrong. There isn't a doubt in my mind that my brother fucked my wife, but it wasn't just sex with them. I can tell Jaclyn has feelings for him, and based on how he acted while he was here, Alex is head-over-heels in love with her. In the end, it doesn't matter. I don't need Jaclyn to love me; I need her to help me with my campaign. She needs to respect me, and that's a hell of a lot harder to earn than love. With our nuptials public, my candidacy announcement should come sooner than later.

I'm so fucked.

A long hot shower and fresh clothes have reset me. Though, I must've lost weight because they fit a bit larger—that, or Jaclyn ordered the wrong sizes for me for the trip. I pull out another shirt and check the size tag. A size too big. Jaclyn knows my measurements, so it doesn't make sense …

Alex .

With a groan, I suck it up, and wear the ill-fitting clothes. Once I'm changed, I join Jaclyn out on the patio. As I nervously open the sliding glass door, I find her on one of the lounge chairs with her laptop, talking to someone with a tinge of anger in her voice. I overhear the last of her conversation, "Take care of it." Her growling ends as she turns at the sound of the door. "We'll talk soon… Thank you." Hanging up, she offers me a sweet smile, void of love. "Hi."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Go ahead."

Her tone is clipped, so I tread carefully. "Everything okay?"

"No, nothing is going to plan for the gala. Story of my life," she huffs, defeated. With the event fast approaching, my best guess is that she's arguing with a vendor. Jaclyn is meticulous when it comes to the small details of an event. I'm sure it will be beautiful with her in charge, and no one will know if things are amiss.

I take the seat next to her to enjoy the cool ocean breeze and the sun glistening off the water. It's just the two of us, not another person in sight. One might even call it romantic. We've been together for years, and it's always been nothing more than a business transaction, with our marriage sealing the deal by signing on the dotted line. Sure, she's stunning, but we have virtually nothing in common; I've never met a more boring woman in my life .

Stepford wife in the flesh.

Jaclyn continues working while I marinate in the mildly uncomfortable silence. She doesn't reach for my hand, and I don't seek out hers. Despite our differences, she knows me better than I know myself most days, and I appreciate that she's not pretending with me. Though for the first time, guilt seeps in—she's always been at my side. She deserves a spouse who loves and supports her.

Am I able to give her that?

As I look out to the crashing waves, I'm lost as to what I should say. We're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, and the thought gives me a deep sense of dread like I've never experienced. Being married to someone who doesn't love you is a special kind of torture. She'll play the perfect part publicly, but I can't wrap my mind around how I'm supposed to make her believe I love her, let alone have her fall in love with me.

We sit in silence for several minutes until I finally break it. "How was the wedding?" She groans. "That bad, huh?"

Finally looking at me, Jaclyn's reply is cold. "The wedding was the best day of my life."

"The best?" I laugh.

"What do you want me to say, Chris? That I hated it? I didn't. Even with the shitty coordinator, the boring color palette, our mothers overstepping, Alex taking the schedule off the rails…" She sighs deeply. "You want the tr uth? I don't regret speaking my vows to Alex in front of God, our friends, and family."

My jaw tics at the mention of him. "You're not his wife. You're mine ."

"I would divorce you, but we're not even married."

I can't help rolling my eyes and scoff, "What are you talking about? My name is on the marriage certificate, princess . You're stuck with me."

"Don't call me that," she spits, her gaze molten. "And I'm not stuck with you. Our certificate isn't filed." Glancing over at the fire pit, she chuckles darkly, "Good luck salvaging it."

Perhaps Jackie isn't as boring as I made her out to be. "Well, that can be remedied."

"I know," she sighs in annoyance, and damn it, I'm fucking this up further.

"What would it take to make this right?"

"Depends. What's on the table?" Her question takes me by surprise.

"We have to make this work. So, I'll do whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes?" Her eyebrow lifts, disappointment oozing from her. "Stop fucking your aides."

"I've never fucked my aides." The lie slips off my tongue with ease. " What else?"

"Does it matter? It isn't as if I get to make real demands; I'm not in control here."

She's fucking right, but I'm not in control, either... and I'm so damn screwed if I can't get her to fall in love with me. Or at least tolerate me.

As Jaclyn looks away, I keep my eyes fixed on her; it's been too long since I really looked at her. While she's devastatingly gorgeous, taking my breath away, she's got a backbone that I've never noticed before today. I want more of this sparring between us.

No wonder Alex is drawn to her.

"I want to fix this," I plead softly.

"There's nothing to fix." Jaclyn gets up abruptly. "I'm going to take a walk."

The last thing I need is her alone with her thoughts; it'll all but secure losing her. "Can I join you?"

Jaclyn doesn't protest, giving in to my small gesture, and we make our way to the water. Keeping my hands in my pockets, we walk along the shore in silence as I catalog the last few years, unable to remember the last time I took a walk with her.

Have we ever taken a walk together?

Alex has absolutely dug his claws into Jaclyn. Mere weeks ago, she was the perfect woman to have by my side—delicate and demure. My family is right; I need to woo my wife. If I fall in love with her in the process, even better.

Another apology won't do it. I need something big. Bold.

A grand gesture .

The gala for her mother's charity is in a few weeks. Too far away; I need something now. We're on our honeymoon, and as much as I feel like my cock could remedy this, the idea of fucking her after my brother repulses me.

Jaclyn wasn't inexperienced when we began dating, but sex was a chore. Even so, I loved that she was my dutiful girlfriend—mine when I needed her. Once I secure the presidency, I couldn't care less if she wants to take a lover… so long as it isn't Alex. I've worked too hard to get where I am to let it slip through my fingers because he wants to get his dick wet. For me, sex is just sex. It's more for him, and probably for her, too. If they spend any more time together, I'll lose her for good.

Walking beside Jaclyn is actually… nice . It's relaxing, only the sound of the crashing waves dancing around our feet as they meet the sand. I love that neither of us is trying to fill the silence with idle small talk. I'm comfortable with her, always have been, enough to admit aloud, "We're going to be all right."

Jaclyn keeps her focus ahead of us. "When are you going to tell me what really happened with the accident?"

"I had a heart attack," I answer carefully .

"And how did you have a heart attack, exactly? Were you doing any strenuous activities while driving?"

Fuck. She knows…

Denial is still the best course of action. "No, the doctors think I took too much of my ADHD meds."

"You always forget to take it." She huffs a laugh, though her tone is still flat. "How the hell did you take too much? "

"Honestly, I don't even remember taking it that morning."

Stopping in her tracks, Jaclyn finally looks at me. "Why don't you take your health seriously?"

"I don't need to take them; they help me focus sometimes." I shrug.

"You didn't need to focus on the day you were supposed to get married?" Jaclyn scoffs, and once again, I'm going about this all wrong. I feel like an even bigger asshole.

I take her hand and weave our fingers together, surprising myself with how much I enjoy it. Her gaze drops to our joined hands, then returns to me as I tell her softly, "You're right. I should take my health—and mental health—more seriously. I've just been under a lot of stress and pressure, between the wedding and preparing for our next big step…"

" Our next big step? "

"Yes," I chuckle. " Our . You and I are going to take on the world together. Why do you sound surprised? It was always our plan. If it got out to the media that I had a heart attack, it would ruin everything."

"Heart attack? You killed a woman." Pain is chiseled into her features. "How can you be worried about a campaign when a woman is dead? "

This isn't about Cara's mouth wrapped around my cock, and I can't help the relieved breath that passes my lips. Thankfully, I'm able to pass it off as pain. "I know. I'll make sure her family is taken care of."

Jaclyn nods in understanding, but her eyes say otherwise. "You want to make it right? Stop fighting with Alex. If it wasn't for him, your face would be plastered on every media site for the next four months."

"My brother and I have always fought." I reach to tuck wind-swept strands behind her ear. She doesn't flinch or pull away; she doesn't melt for me, either. "But this isn't about him. It's about you and me."

"You don't have to worry about me." I'm met with wall after wall with her, and I intend to tear them all down. As she tries to pull her hand away, I keep it firmly in mine. When she tugs a second time, a soft grunt escapes her. "I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine," I laugh.

"You don't love me, so why are you worried about me?" she huffs, and it stings far more than care to admit. It doesn't make sense, I shouldn't crave her attention or adoration. We've never had a romantic relationship. It's no different than my parents—an arrangement.

"I do love you," I counter, though it comes out as a growl. Taking a glance around to ensure we're still alone, I still whisper as I ask, "Do you love me? "

Her expression softens. "I love you as much as red roses."

"Well, if I'm your favorite…" I snake my free hand to her lower back and pull her flush with me. She catches herself with her palm on my chest. "You'll forgive me for missing our big day? Can I make it up to you with a night out, just the two of us? Maybe hide from the paps and enjoy an evening where we don't have to pretend everything is okay?" But, mark my words, by the end of our trip, it will be. "I think we could both use a night of fun."

Jaclyn blows out a long breath, and my eyes fall to her lips—lips my brother likely claimed for himself. Where minutes ago, the idea of being with her after him disgusted me, I now selfishly want her for myself. If I'm lucky, by the end of our honeymoon, she'll crave my touch, not his. We'll live in amicable bliss, and maybe in time, she'll love me more than red roses. I'm not sure if I'm capable of loving someone, but I need to try with Jaclyn. Warmth fills my chest, imagining her by my side, the picture-perfect family with our children, as I run for reelection.

I win .

"You know, I don't remember the last time we had fun." Letting her guard down, she offers a soft smile, and chuckles.

I lean in and kiss her cheek, not wanting to press my luck. "Then, let's go have a bit of fun."