Chapter Nineteen

Elena

I shift my hair over my shoulders, letting it fall over my back. Touching the base of my neck, I stare back at myself in the guest’s bedroom mirror, examining the fading handprints of Nikk’s wrath . Parts of my neck are still tender, and when I swallow it hurts. Shit. But his rough handling next to the downright dirty betrayal from Matteo pales in comparison. The physical wounds will heal, but the emotional damage Matteo has inflicted will not. Shaking at the echo of his name in my head, I scrape my hair together in a messy ponytail, willing myself not to fall to pieces.

He’s the one whose head I want on a platter. I touch the underside of my puffy eyes, not recognizing the woman I’m becoming. “You will burn in hell. I’ll make sure of it,” I remark, Matteo’s face popping up in my mind. I hate the fact Nikk thinks I’m lying to him, and the feelings I’m having for him are only adding to the swirl of confusion in my brain. I didn’t double-cross him, at least not in the way he thinks I did. I planned to in the long run, but Matteo—the man I least suspected—fucked me over before I could.

What I hate even more is being stuck in the confines of the guest suite unable to go anywhere. Luckily, Dr. Peterson was gracious enough to make a house call and come to me. Afterwards, a second doctor arrived, checking my vitals and collecting multiple blood samples. Tears sting at the back of my eyes as I pat my face dry, recalling the conversation as I was curious as to why he was there.

“We need a blood sample as it’s been requested by Nikkita for paternity test purposes.” Disheartened by Nikk’s lack of trust in me after getting along so well, I could barely engage in a reply.

“Oh. Well, I can tell you right now, the baby is his,” I seethed, but the doctor only gave me a see-through stare.

“Better safe than sorry,” he replied with the cutting tone of a surgeon, making me feel even more alone and like a caged animal than ever.

But even if he did let me live so he could check for paternity, Nikk was merciful. He didn’t restrict my calls and sent food in whenever I asked for it. There were a million ways he could have immediately punished me, but he didn’t. That’s something that is driving me crazy even more.

My father taught me this lesson long ago when I was young. I let the mirror in front of me fade away as the old memory seeps in, taking shape.

“ Why do I have to step to the top of the tree to get those lemons? Why can’t we just get those ones at the bottom?” I’d been pouting as we picked, but I did like spending time with my father those days. They were simple and carefree. I would give anything to return.

“Because, Elena, sometimes if you pick the low-hanging fruit, it’s full of rot even if it does look easier to pick. It’s there, and you think nothing of it. But then when you cut it open and look on the inside, you find the decay and the worms.”

I refocus my eyes, stepping back from the mirror.

When you look on the inside, you find the decay….

Matteo is that rotting decay. Of course. I’m kicking myself for not catching on sooner. He’s been in the famiglia for decades, patiently waiting for his turn. Respectful of the men who came to power, but now the fucker thinks I’m weak because I’m the first female Donna.

It can be the only reason. This is his only opening in the Cosa Nostra. He would never pull this stunt if my father were alive. Oh no, Rocco would have shot him between the eyes if he needed to. Yes, he would have cried tears into his grave afterwards, but in the moment, he would have ended Matteo’s life to protect the Cosa Nostra.

Sucking in a deep breath, I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming. It’s a shame.

Nikk and I have been slowly getting used to being around one another on the daily. Often both of us are busy with our own business plans, but we eat together most nights, and he’s been showing his care in other ways.

“Can I get you anything on the way home? I’ll be home in half hour. I’m just wrapping up a meeting on Long Island.”

Sometimes I’ve even caught him with a funny faraway look on his face as he studies me, but when I’ve looked again, his face had changed. I’ve sensed there’s more underneath the surface going on between us, and I didn’t want it to happen either. I can’t help the attraction I feel towards him. It’s like a magnetic pull that’s indescribable. It’s usually late at night when I feel the hard length of his chiseled body under the covers spooning me from behind that I feel things between us are more than a business arrangement.

Often, I wake with his hand cupping my breast, or splayed over my stomach, and I like it. It’s odd not to be lying next to him, I hate to admit. The last few months we’ve been growing closer and closer, and he’s been feeling less and less like an enemy and more like an ally.

But now, we’ve taken three steps backwards. Maybe he’ll never trust me again. Who knows.

Splashing water on my face, I try to wake up from the current nightmare I’m stuck in. I’m lucky Nikk spared me. He could have choked me to death on the spot, and that would have been the end of me, but for some reason he didn’t. He let me live, and I have no clue as to why he showed mercy.

I let the water drip from my face, hating how terrible I feel, but such is the life of a Donna. I’m just happy the drugs Matteo gave me didn’t affect my child. It’s taken a couple of days to feel anything like myself, but even still, I’m not the same woman anymore.

Pressing my eyes shut, I exhale, gripping my hands on either side of the porcelain bowl, letting my hair hang forward. I’m having Nikk’s baby. As the sinking realization sets in, I let my hands travel down the front of my pajamas to my flat stomach. There are changes in my body, mainly how tired and slightly nauseous I feel all the time, but I’m not showing yet, and I wonder what it’s going to feel like as my belly grows fuller.

As my eyes flutter open, I shudder to think about the future of my child. What will be my child’s fate?

Wouldn’t it have been easier to kill me? Then he wouldn’t have to deal with the baby? It’s not as if he couldn’t have another one with someone else. Chewing on my bottom lip, I think it through, trying to step into his shoes.

It’s not just any child, Elena. It’s a child born to two of the most powerful Mafia dons of their respective families combined. Likely the child could be used for leveraging purposes, and that’s even worse.

Matteo, you dirty rotten bastard. You’ve screwed up everything we’ve worked for! If he would have been patient and stuck by me, I would have surely made him next in line to be Don. I would have done that for him. Burning tears of hate return as his name swims in my mind.

Frenetic thoughts take up residence in my head, flipping back to my unpredictable husband.

What is Nikk going to do to me after I’ve had the child? Maybe he will still kill me, and even with the looming guillotine hanging over my head, it’s not the main thing occupying space in my brain. It’s Matteo’s dirty backstabbing. If he thinks he can take the throne from me like this, then he needs to think again. It’s not over.

Indignant, and filled with rage, I paced the room, plotting and scheming Matteo’s death.

Should I use one of my soldiers? Or hire a professional from the outside he wouldn’t suspect? No. It will be me holding the gun to his head, and he’ll be on his knees begging for forgiveness and for me not to pull the trigger.

I need to get him. I dig my nails into the back of my palm as I shudder when I think of the traitor’s name. Oh yes, Matteo, you’re on my hit list now . Soffrire. You will pay dearly for what you’ve done.

Craving his downfall, I dig my fingers in deeper, fury brimming over as my body trembles. It feels so good to hate him. It’s only when the pinch of my nails becomes too great do I look down to realize I’ve drawn blood.