4. Jillian

4

JILLIAN

J illian sat on her bed in the cottage the next day, waiting for Josie to come out of the bathroom in the hallway that was shared by their room and Brad’s.

The penthouse had always been too sleek and enormous for Jillian’s liking. But here in the small cottage, which was rustic bordering on rough, she felt more at peace. Their voices didn’t echo in the living room, and she always knew where Josie was, which was never more than a few steps away. She felt like it would be easier to build memories here in the small room they were sharing than it had been in a lifetime of luxury back in the city.

The only issue was that it was cold and drafty. Though she had gotten up, showered, and dressed an hour ago, Jillian still wrapped a blanket around her shoulders while she waited.

“Are you really just going to sit there?” Josie asked her from the hallway as she came back in .

Jillian was happy to smell minty toothpaste in the air, and to see that Josie had brushed her hair until it shone.

“You’re going to be getting ready in the mornings by yourself now,” Jillian reminded her with a smile.

“Dad will be here,” Josie offered.

“Do you remember the day we ran out of coffee, and I went to the store in the morning?” Jillian asked, smiling.

“Dad put me in two different shoes,” Josie remembered, giggling.

“It was only because he hadn’t had his coffee,” Jillian said. “But still. You’re getting older, and if you want to get him to agree to a dog, you have to show him that you’re able to take care of yourself first.”

“Okay, fine,” Josie said, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll just be here to keep you company,” Jillian told her. “But if you get stuck, I’ll help.”

Josie went straight to her dresser and pulled out socks, underwear, and the pair of jeans and the nice sweater Jillian had helped her choose the night before. Jillian felt glad all over again that they’d brought Josie’s dresser from home. All her things were right where she was used to having them.

The girl disappeared back to the bathroom and Jillian smiled at the idea that she wanted privacy for changing these days. It felt like yesterday that Jillian had been changing her pull-ups and trying valiantly to get her potty-trained.

The sound of a horse whinnying outside had her up on her feet, leaving the nice warm blanket behind as she headed over to look out the window. No matter how many times they came out here, Jillian never got tired of seeing the horses on the homestead.

She was too late getting to the window to catch the horse and rider. But she admired the sight of the big, gorgeous trees, nearly unburdened of all their leaves. The wind that swirled in around the window frame was making the bare branches dance outside.

“I’m all set,” Josie announced.

Jillian turned to see that the nine-year-old was indeed dressed and ready.

“Nice work,” she told her. “And I could tell you brushed your teeth and your hair. Do you need anything else from up here?”

It was help in the form of a question. Josie definitely needed her backpack, and she should put the gym uniform Annabelle had gotten for her in it too, just in case today was a gym day.

“I put my backpack at the top of the steps already,” Josie said.

“What if you have gym today?” Jillian asked.

Josie’s eyes opened wide, and she darted back to the dresser to pull out the tee-shirt and shorts her grandmother had given her.

“Great job,” Jillian said. “What’s next?”

“I’ll put this in my bag, and we’ll go down for breakfast,” Josie said, sounding worried that she might be forgetting something else.

“Normally, you would want to check your bag for books and homework too,” Jillian told her. “But today is your first day, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Okay,” Josie said brightly .

Jillian followed her into the hallway and watched her cram the gym clothes into the backpack they had filled with brand new notebooks and a beautifully stocked pencil case back in the city. Jillian would have placed them inside a little more carefully, so as not to disturb the other items, but Josie was going to have to learn by doing.

They headed downstairs and Jillian smiled when she saw Josie was taking her backpack all the way to the front door, just like Jillian did for her back home.

“Two of the same pair of shoes,” Josie said, pointing to her sneakers as she set the bag down beside them.

“Excellent,” Jillian told her. “You’re already one up on your dad.”

“I mean, it should count as two,” Josie teased, quirking up an eyebrow that reminded Jillian so much of her father that she couldn’t help laughing.

“Okay, two,” Jillian agreed. “Let’s go see what you can do for yourself for breakfast.”

But before they reached the kitchen, her phone rang. She slid it out of her pocket and swiped to answer when she saw Brad’s name pop up.

“Hey,” she said. “What’s up?”

“My parents are making breakfast,” Brad said gruffly. “Come on over.”

She knew she should remind him that Josie needed to learn to get herself ready for school, but it was such a lovely idea to have a big breakfast with the grandparents that she didn’t have the heart.

“That’s really nice,” she told him instead. “We’ll be over in a minute.”

“What’s going on?” Josie asked .

“Your grandparents are making breakfast,” she told her. “So you’re off the hook for today.”

“ Yes,” Josie said. “I’ll bet it’s pancakes. Grandpa loves making pancakes.”

Sure enough, when they came in the back door of the big house just a few minutes later, they found Alistair pouring batter onto a pan and Annabelle starting up the coffee maker.

“Grandpa,” Josie yelled. “You are making pancakes.”

“Well, come and help me,” her grandfather told her with a smile, pointing to the step stool he’d placed next to him. “I need a fry cook.”

“Hi,” Jillian said to Annabelle, feeling a little shy at first with Brad’s mother, as she always did.

“Get in here,” Annabelle said, throwing her arms around Jillian and giving her a good squeeze. “I hope you’re ready for a big country breakfast.”

“I’m always ready for a big country meal,” Jillian said, feeling right at home after the warm embrace. “You’ll be lucky if I don’t eat you out of house and home.”

“That’s our girl,” Alistair chuckled from his place at the stove. “Remember the first time she was here for Thanksgiving and we made homemade cranberry sauce?”

Everyone laughed, including Jillian, who had eaten so much vanilla-infused cranberry sauce that Thanksgiving she was afraid there wouldn’t be enough left for everyone else to enjoy with the leftovers. In her defense, she hadn’t asked for seconds, but Alistair kept spooning a little more on her plate as soon as he saw how much she loved it, and she hadn’t been able to turn it down .

Though she had worried in the moment that they might think she was greedy, over time she realized the story just made her fit in. The Williams crew liked a person who appreciated a good meal and didn’t mind being giggled at for it.

At the sound of footsteps, Jillian found her eyes moving to the doorway to the dining room. Brad appeared a second later, wearing a flannel and jeans, and a smile that got bigger as soon as he spotted her.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” she replied, trying in vain to stop noticing how handsome he was when he was relaxed like this.

“Hey, Daddy,” Josie said. “How many pancakes do you want?”

“Depends on how many Jillian is going to leave for us,” Brad teased.

Jillian laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Don’t let them tease you,” Annabelle said. “I think we need to feed you as much as we can while you’re here. You always come back from that city too thin.”

“I know, Ma,” Brad said. “I should have cooked more. But I’ll have time to now.”

“I’m going to learn to cook,” Josie said decisively.

“You’re already doing it, sweetheart,” Alistair told her. “Give it a flip.”

They all watched as Josie carefully worked the spatula under the first pancake. Batter oozed back onto the pan on the sides.

“That’s okay,” Alistair told her. “It’s going to make the lacy part around the edges when it’s cooked. Go on and flip it.”

Josie flicked her wrist and the pancake hit the pan with a satisfying sizzle.

Everyone cheered and she looked up from her work with a big grin.

They all pitched in to get the food on the table, and by the time breakfast was eaten and the kitchen was cleaned up again, it was time for Brad and Josie to head to the car for school.

“Coat and backpack,” Jillian told her gently, as she did every day back in the city.

Josie suddenly turned to Jillian with a panicked expression.

“What if no one will talk to me?” she asked.

“Your cousin Zeke will be there,” her grandmother pointed out.

“He’s not in fourth grade,” Josie pointed out. “He’s way littler than me.”

“You have plenty of friends in the city, right?” Brad said. “It only makes sense that you’ll make lots of friends here too.”

“You’re going to have a wonderful day at school,” Jillian told her. “Do you know how I know?”

Josie shook her head.

“I know because you’re good at paying attention, so I know you’ll pay attention to the teacher, no matter what,” Jillian said. “You’ll make sure she knows that you want to learn.”

Josie nodded, looking a little relieved.

Jillian knew the girl was practical. She needed specific instructions about things that would be in her control.

“And I know you’re a kind person with a big heart,” Jillian continued. “So when you’re with other kids, you’ll always be thoughtful. And if you can see a way to help someone, you’ll do it. Even if the kids don’t notice what a great friend you’re going to be right away, they’ll definitely realize it over time, because you’re always kind.”

Josie wrapped her arms around Jillian’s neck and squeezed her hard.

“You always give the best advice,” she whispered in her ear before letting go.

Jillian felt like her heart was bursting and breaking all at once. What was she going to do without this wonderful girl in her life?

“I’m ready,” Josie told her dad as she shrugged on her coat.

Jillian held out the backpack so Josie could slide her arms into it, and the next thing she knew, the two of them were heading out the front door.

She felt a pang that she didn’t get to go to the school with them and talk with the principal and Josie’s teacher. But she was just a nanny, after all, and soon to be a former nanny.

“We’ll wave from the porch,” Annabelle said kindly. “Come on.”

Jillian let herself be led out front. Though she was dressed warmly in a nice sweater and jeans, she shivered without her coat as they watched and waved when Brad pulled the SUV around. Brad slowed down a little and Josie rolled down the window .

“Bye, Jillian,” Josie yelled, waving back for all she was worth. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Junebug,” Jillian called back to her. “Have the best day ever.”

She knew she should hurry back in, but it was all she could do to watch after the familiar vehicle until it disappeared down the long drive.

It was disorienting to watch them drive away for the day. She didn’t know what to do with the rest of her day without them, let alone the rest of her life. She’d had other plans nine years ago, but none of that even felt real anymore.

When she turned to go back inside, she was surprised to see Annabelle still standing there. She had forgotten that she wasn’t alone. Annabelle studied her, a sympathetic expression on her face as she cradled a coffee mug in her hands.

“So, what are your plans?” Annabelle asked simply after a moment.

“I… I have no idea,” Jillian admitted. “Brad arranged another family for me, but I’m not sure…”

“Oh dear,” Annabelle said. “I just meant, what are your plans for the day? I was wondering if you might like to join me and a few of my friends for coffee in town?”

Well, at least her future was settled for the next few hours, which was better than nothing. Maybe talking with some people outside her circle would be helpful. And some coffee did sound pretty good.