Chapter 22

While You're At It - Jessie Murph

The next morning, my head is still filled with thoughts of Talon and how his rough hands felt along my skin when he took me over this bike. My pussy is still swollen and raw from how hard he fucked me, and yet I can't help but want more.

I flip the eggs in the frying pan before picking up my cell and shooting a text off to Cece about last night. There's no way I'm not telling my best friend about what happened between Talon and me.

Surprisingly, she's been supportive of whatever is going on between the Shaw brothers and me. At first, I wasn't sure how to tell her I had feelings for both of them. I wasn't even sure how I felt about admitting it. It's not like it's exactly a common thing, having brothers share you. Yet I wouldn't have it any other way. It's been a long time since I was this happy, this content, and though Sayshen is still unconscious and in the hospital, I know in my gut that he's going to pull through and be okay. He has to.

So, you got railed…in the woods…over a motorcycle by the incredibly hot older brother. Fucking hell, I wish I had your life…but since I can't, I need details so I can live through you. Was he big? Fuck I bet he was huge, I've seen his shoes.

My lips pull into a small smile as I read her text.

Let's say I'm still hurting this morning…

I reply before laying my phone down and turning the burning off. Grabbing the plate from the counter, I slide the eggs onto it next to the bacon and toast I made for Talon. He's still in bed, but I felt like surprising him with some breakfast before we head back to the hospital to check on Sayshen. My phone vibrates on the counter, the screen lighting up with Cece's name and her reply.

Fucking Puta. I hope you know I'm officially jealous of you.

"Was it the guys?" Talon's voice cracks from behind me. Startled, I spin around, the plate with his breakfast still in my hand. He enters the kitchen, stretching his arms behind his back, wearing nothing but a pair of black Calvin Klein boxers that leave little to the imagination.

My mouth waters as I watch him saunter across the kitchen to the coffee pot. He grabs a mug from the cupboard and fills it as he eyes me. I swallow the lump in my throat, realizing I hadn't answered him yet, "Oh, no. It's just Cece,"I choke out."Here, I made you some breakfast. I figured you should probably get some food into you before we head back into the city."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," he replies. His tone is cold and dismissive as he places the pot back on the burner without even looking at me. My brow furrows with confusion as I watch him brush past me to return to his room.

Fuck this. I'm done with this bullshit.

I drop the plate of food. Sending pieces of cream-colored ceramic shattering across the kitchen floor.

"You know what, Talon? Fuck you," I snap. "I don't know what your problem is, but─"

He laughs and spins to face me, "You! You're the fucking problem. Everything that's fucking happened is because of you!" he spits as he steps toward me. "How can you not see that?"

"You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am. Think about it. Why is Christian out for Demon blood? My fucking friend is rotting in the ground right now because your ex was so fucking bent out of shape about you being with my brother. My brother, who is now lying in a hospital bed, and we don't even know if he'll wake up."

My fists clench at my sides defensively. To blame me is unfair, especially considering he was the one who brought me to Sayshen in the first place. Not that it would've mattered. Cruz's death is no one else"s fault except Christian's, and Sayshen snuck out in the night. I had no idea what he was doing or I would have tried to stop him.

I step toward him, and tilt my chin to meet his stormy blue eyes, "He will wake up!"

"He wouldn't even be there if it wasn't for you! IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU!" he adds. His tone is laced with pain. A pain I understand, but that doesn't make the way he's talking to me okay. I always knew Talon had it out for me, but I guess I thought because there was something building between us, that maybe, just maybe, we were past it. Then after yesterday, I thought things were finally okay. That we were okay.

Stupid. I was fucking stupid.

My stomach twists at the thought of how he touched me. How he felt inside me just hours ago. How can someone change so quickly?

"You know, you make it really easy for me to hate you." I whisper. Knowing full well it's a lie the moment it slips from my lips.

"Hate me?" he laughs. "You don't hate me. I've tasted you. Touched you. Shit I've been inside you, Princess. You can't escape that reality, no matter how much you want to pretend you hate me."

"Fuck you!"

"Sorry. That was a one-time thing. A moment of weakness. It will never happen again," he adds coldly. His eyes darken as he looks down on me with pure disgust in his eyes.

"You can lie to yourself all you want, but I see how you look at me. I've seen and felt just how much being near me affects you. I get that you're hurting, but that doesn't give you the right to throw blame where it isn't deserved. I have done nothing but care for your brother. I have been there for you and your team."

"I didn't ask you to be there for any of us, Princess. I didn't ask you to come into our world and fuck everything up, did I?" His head falls back, and he rolls his shoulders before lowering his eyes to mine. "I should've fucking left you with him that night. I should've walked away."

Well, that's a low blow. His words hit me straight in the chest.

"Yeah, well, you didn't," I snap, holding his stare. I know he doesn't mean it, but that doesn't make the sting any less intense—especially after yesterday in the woods.

"Well, then, I guess you aren't the only one to blame."

Tears brim along my eyes, "You know, for someone who hates Christian, you act an awful lot like him." I whisper before I push past him. Not caring as the small shards of ceramic stab my feet along the way. I can't stand to be near him a moment longer. I refuse to allow yet another man to watch me fall apart because of him.

Never has someone's words hurt me the way Bexley's just did. Laying on my bed with my eyes following the circular motions of the ceiling fan, the look in her eyes and the pain in her voice is all I can think about. I knew my being cold and pushing her away was hurting her, but never did I think it was hurting her to that extent. To know she feels like there is any similarity between Christian and me has me fucked up more than I could've ever imagined.

What's worse is she's fucking right. About everything. Not only do I know that none of what's happened is her fault, but I actually blame myself for it.

Yet, after everything that's happened, I still would have never left her with him that night.

Never.

Bexley never meant for any of this shit to happen. None of us did. At first, I thought she was a distraction, a problem I needed to get rid of. But as the days have passed, I've come to see that she's actually good for my brother. For both of us.

She calms Sayshen in ways my dad and I never could. He's more focused now that she's at his side than he ever was before, and that fuckboy mentality of bringing home another girl every night is nowhere in sight.

Bexley fucking Larson has balls on her. Which is unexpected after what she's been through. But fuck if I'm not thankful for her being brave enough to call me out on my shit. Not many are.

Maybe that's part of what draws me to her. Why she fills my every thought and why even though I know her and my brother have something, I can't help but want her too. Not that I deserve her. Especially after the way I've treated her. I can't even blame her for the way she reacted today. I had it coming.

I sigh, rubbing my face with my hands as the regret begins to settle in my stomach. We only have a few more hours before we're set to head back to the hospital to check on Sayshen and I refuse to leave here with this tension between the two of us. Meaning, I have to find the right words to explain to her everything I'm feeling.

Which is something I've never been good at.

My phone vibrates on the bed next to me. Thorne's name lights up on the screen with a picture of his black and blue Yamaha, and my heart begins to race as I jolt upright. Knowing Thorne is at the hospital with my brother, I can't help but worry he's calling with bad news. I swipe to answer before bringing it to my ear.

"Yeah? Thorne? What's going on?" I ask with a concerned tone.

"Nothing, bruv, chill. It's a good call. Baby Shaw is awake. He's doing good. You should get down here."

"Fucking hell" I exhale, placing my hand flat over my chest. "Alright, we'll be there as soon as we can," I reply. "Tell my brother I'm going to fucking kill him."

Thorne laughs, "Easy bruv, let the lad breathe a bit before we go making death threats, yeah? He did just wake up after all."

"Yeah, yeah. We'll be there soon," I add before ending the call.

Pushing myself up from the bed, I head out into the hall in search of Bexley.

Despite the shit going on between us, I know she'll be happy to hear this news, and knowing that makes me excited to tell her.

As I pass by the bathroom, steam begins to pour out into the hall through a crack in the door. Peering inside, I find Bexley standing naked in front of the mirror, about to step into the shower.. Her long, inky black hair cascades down her back in thick, dark waves as she runs her neon green brush through it. Placing her brush on the vanity, she runs her hand through the thick condensation that's built up on the mirror from the steam.

The moment she does, her gaze finds my reflection in the mirror behind her. Her beautiful brown doe eyes snapping to mine. She freezes and stiffens briefly before she slowly turns to face me and drops her towel to the tile floor.

Fuck.

Even in the dim lighting of the bathroom, her body is undeniably fucking beautiful. Every inch is pure perfection. Placing my palm on the wooden door, I push it open more before taking a step inside. My cock hardens as I follow the curves of her body with my eyes. What I'd give to take her perky pierced tits in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the piercing while she's straddling me. Taking my cock into that sweet goddamn pussy of hers.

As if sensing my thoughts, she takes a few steps toward me and I can tell by her expression she hasn't forgotten about earlier and has no intention of letting it go. Meaning I have a lot of graveling to do. Good.

She should make me earn it.

I clear my throat, "Thorne called. Sayshen is awake. I told them we'd head over as soon as we could."

"That's great news," she replies. "I can be out in just a minute," she adds, placing her palm flat against my chest. She tries to shove me back out into the hall, but my hand slams down on the door frame, stopping her.

Here goes nothing.

"Can we talk, Princess," I ask with a soft tone.

She rolls her eyes, popping her hip as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Why? Pretty sure you said everything there was to say. You hate me, I get it. You blame me for everything, cool. Got it. Now, can I shower? I'd really like to get back to your brother. At least he isn't a raging confusing asshole."

"I deserve that," I reply. "I never should have spoken to you the way I did. None of what's happened is because of you, Bex. I know that. Fuck. I just, I'm not good at this shit."

"Talon, I didn't ask for your apology, just like you didn't ask for me too, what was it you said, ‘Come into your world and fuck everything up.' I don't want to hear how sorry you are, and I honestly don't care anymore," she spits before turning away from me. I grab her wrist firmly, spinning her back around before I fall to my knees before her.

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. Especially not after knowing I reminded you of him. I never want you to think of me as him, nor do I ever want to be someone who makes you feel the same way he did. I just─I don't know how to process all these things I'm feeling," I plea from my knees. Resting my head on her thighs, I wrap my arms around her legs, holding her tightly against me.

"Talon, stop─" she whispers, trying her best to push me away. My hold around her legs tightens.

"Everything I said to you today was bullshit. I know none of what's happened is your fault. It's mine. I'm the one who brought Christian's wrath on the team. It's my fault Cruz is dead. It's because of me that Reign and Sayshen got hurt. Not you. You did nothing wrong. You were never the problem, Princess. You're the fucking solution to everything."

"It's not your fault either," she adds, her voice a mere whisper as she runs her hands through my hair. "No one could've known how far Christian would take things. Not even you."

Still kneeling before her, I lift my eyes to hers so she knows the next words to leave my mouth are genuine. "I'd never have left you with him. Never." I admit. The moment the truth slips from my lips, it's like a weight is lifted off my shoulders.

"I know," she replies. "I know you wouldn't have, and I know you're not like him. I never should've said that to you. I was hurting."

Rising to my feet, I brush the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear as I look down on her. "We both are, but you know what? We're going to be okay. All of us. We'll get through all of this together." Pulling her in for a hug, her sweat-coated body clings to my bare chest as she wraps her arms around the back of my neck.

"I know we will. Now, take your clothes off. Sayshen is waiting for us, and we'll be faster if we shower together," she adds as she releases me and crosses the small space to the walk-in shower.

"Faster? Definitely not, but it's not like he's going anywhere," I reply with a cocky smirk as I slide my pants down.

The tension between us seems to melt away with the skin-on-skin contact. There's still so much to figure out between us, but regardless of how the day started, it's now turning out to be a good day.

My brother is awake and improving, and I got my girl back.

Shit is good.