Chapter Six

"W hy won't you at least try to eat something?" Duncan whispered in Elizabeth's ear as the wedding breakfast came to an end.

"I don't have an appetite," she whispered back.

She couldn't eat when she was forced to sit next to someone who repulsed her in every way possible. They were all lucky she even sat beside Lord Roland. At least their chairs were far enough apart that she didn't bump his arm like she did once in a while with Duncan.

"You're not the only one who can't eat," Duncan whispered. "Felix has barely touched anything on his plate, too."

What did she care if Felix was having trouble eating the breakfast or not? This was his fault. If he wanted a nice wedding breakfast, he should have picked a lady who could stand to be with him. She crossed her arms, not caring if others thought her rude or not. Her future had been ruined. She had nothing to look forward to, nothing to anticipate, nothing to enjoy. Her life might have been empty before, but now there was no possibility of it getting better.

"Well," Felix began as he placed his napkin on his plate, "I think we're all agreed that we're done eating. I want to thank everyone for coming today."

With that, he rose to his feet, and the others, except for Elizabeth, followed suit. She could feel his gaze turn in her direction but refused to look at him. She chose, instead, to look at Guy who, for whatever reason, was fiddling with something in the pocket of his frock coat. She frowned. What was he doing?

The others began to leave the room, and Felix told her, "You are welcome to stay here and continue eating. I don't want you to feel rushed."

Rushed? She had been stuck in this room listening to idle chatter for an entire hour.

When she didn't respond, Felix cleared his throat and joined the others.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and released her breath as the servants hurried to gather the other dishes. She couldn't believe this was really happening. She kept hoping this was some terrible nightmare that she would eventually wake up from.

She felt the sting of tears fill her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. She would not show any weakness. They must not know how much this marriage devastated her. It was easier to think of that atrocious gentleman who'd brought the bird in hopes it would poop in her hands. The reminder of being humiliated like that in front of everyone brought the surge of anger she needed to make her tears recede. When she knew it was safe, she opened her eyes.

"May I have a word with you?" came a soft voice.

Surprised, Elizabeth turned to the lady who offered her a sympathetic smile.

Elizabeth frowned but said, "You're Lady Quinton, correct?"

The lady nodded and settled into the chair Duncan had been in moments ago. "Yes, and I'm Felix's sister. You can address me as Lydia. I want you to know that Felix feels terrible for what he did. He's never been good with words. He's even worse when he's drunk. But," she hurried to add, "you don't have to worry about that anymore because he no longer drinks alcohol. He learned his lesson."

Was that supposed to make Elizabeth feel better? The damage to her reputation had already been done, and she doubted it could ever be repaired. "He learned it too late to save me from this marriage."

Lydia winced. "I won't argue that. You're right to be upset. What happened to you was awful."

"Yes, it was awful, but I don't see what that has to do with you. You weren't involved with any of this."

"No, but I am his sister. That means we're family now." Lydia put her hand over her heart. "I sympathize with your plight. It can't be easy to endure what people are saying about you. I hope you realize that I'm not like them. I know you have kept your bed pure, and I know you're not a witch."

Irritated by the reminder of what people were saying about her, Elizabeth groaned. "Is this conversation almost over?"

Lydia hesitated for a moment, as if choosing her words with great care. Then she said, "If you need someone to talk to, I'm more than willing to do it. I hope you will be more than my sister-in-law. I'd like to be your friend."

Felix's sister was requesting a friendship with her? Elizabeth had never heard anything more absurd. Why would Elizabeth ever be friends with someone who was related to him? "I don't want your friendship."

Lydia's eyes grew wide at the sharp tone in Elizabeth's voice. She moved her mouth as if she wished to speak, but no sound came from her throat.

"I don't need you," Elizabeth said. Then, before the lady could protest, she added in a firm tone, "I don't need anyone. I've been by myself all of my life, and I've been just fine. I'll be fine by myself in the future as well."

Lydia stared blankly at her.

With a sigh, Elizabeth rose to her feet. "If you won't leave me alone, then I'll go to a place where I can be by myself."

Elizabeth turned her attention to the door and stormed out of the room. Was it really so hard to get peace around here? Her brother might have left a lot to be desired, but he knew how to leave her alone. Her cousin, likewise, had no trouble giving her a reprieve from social interaction. She could only hope that Lydia would learn to keep away from her. Elizabeth bypassed the people in the drawing room and went up the stairs.

A servant chased after her. "My lady, the wedding guests are downstairs."

She glared over her shoulder at the young maid. "I realize that. Do you think I'm a dullard?"

The maid halted in mid-step, eyes wide. "No, my lady."

Glad the maid didn't continue to talk, Elizabeth walked up the rest of the stairs. She marched down the hallway and poked her head into each room until she saw the bedchamber with her trunk in it. She hurried into the room and slammed the door shut. In one day, her life had gone from bad to worse. She would never forgive Felix for ruining her life. Never.

***

F ELIX TRIED TO IGNORE the empty seat at the dining room table that evening, but that was hard to do when the vacant chair was right across from him. He returned his gaze to the plate in front of him and cut into the pheasant. Duncan had said Elizabeth enjoyed pheasant, which was why he'd chosen it. A lot of good that did when she refused to leave her bedchamber.

He let out a sigh and took a sip of water. How he wished he could drink some wine. He glanced at Oscar as the butler poured more wine into his brother's glass. People had no idea how difficult it was for Felix to avoid alcohol when it was so close to him. Pushing aside the memory of how good wine tasted, Felix set his glass down and put a forkful of pheasant into his mouth.

"Are you sure you invited her to dinner?" Oscar asked after he swallowed the roasted potato he'd been chewing.

"Yes, I'm sure," Felix replied. "Before we came in here, I had the maid go up there to let her know dinner is being served."

"Maybe we didn't give Elizabeth enough time to come down here." Oscar poked his fork into a large helping of pheasant. "Maybe she saw that we had already left the drawing room and didn't want to embarrass herself by joining us without an escort." He put the food in his mouth and chewed it with the wild abandon of someone who didn't have a care in the world.

Felix resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Does Elizabeth seem like someone who wants me to escort her to dinner?"

Oscar shrugged. "I can't think of a single lady who wants to enter the dining room alone."

"The maid went upstairs to let her know about dinner thirty minutes before it was ready. If that isn't enough time for Elizabeth to come down here, then I don't know what is. Elizabeth doesn't want to be here. She'd rather starve to death than be in the same room with me."

"Oh, that can't be true. No lady hates anyone that much."

That's what Oscar thought. Felix forced himself to resume eating the food in front of him. Little did Oscar know how deep anger could run. But then, he hadn't been chased by a madman wielding a sword. To his dying day, Felix would never forget the hatred in Elizabeth's brother's eyes. Even now, it made him shudder.

Oscar examined him. "Should I have the butler light a fire in the library so you won't get cold when you read tonight?"

"No. It's warm enough in there."

"But you're shivering."

"I wasn't shivering. I was shuddering. There's a difference."

Oscar didn't look convinced but said, "All right. If you need to warm up, there is that blanket grandmother made that's draped on the back of the large chair in the library."

"I'm fine," Felix assured him. "It's just been a trying day." And he didn't see how tomorrow would get any better.

In all of his life, Felix couldn't think of a time when he envied his sister. He'd always thought he'd had the best of all worlds. He was a gentleman, and he was the oldest in the family. That allowed him access to a title, and it gave him the right to make decisions for her and Oscar. Yes, he wasn't perfect. He'd gotten drunk too much in the past, and when he'd been drunk, he had done plenty of embarrassing things—things he'd rather not dwell on. But he had plenty of admirable traits. He was meticulous while sober. He was organized. He had a good memory. He wasn't prone to flights of fancy. While their father hadn't been good with money, he was. The estate would never see financial ruin again as long as he had anything to say about it.

But he did envy Lydia right now. She was good with people. She had a way of making things better when things were awkward. If he had that skill, things might not be so difficult this evening. Who was he kidding? If he had been good with people, he never would have run off to Marco's to tarnish Elizabeth's reputation. Then this ordeal wouldn't be happening right now.

How he wanted a drink. Just one sip of wine. Or one sip of brandy. As long as it was alcohol, it would satisfy. Water did little to calm his nerves. He gripped the knife and fork in his hands until the urge to grab Oscar's glass passed.

Oscar ate the last piece of food on his plate then turned his attention to the pudding. "Maybe it would help if you told Elizabeth she can do some shopping."

"Have you seen the fine things she wears? She doesn't need clothes."

Oscar gave a dismissal wave with his hand. "Oh, every lady shops because she wants to, not because she needs to. Shopping makes them happy. Why, Lydia went shopping with her friends the other day, and they only did that to celebrate the fact that Rachel is expecting."

"I don't think Lydia knew Rachel was expecting before they went to the market."

"Which only proves my point. Ladies don't even need a reason to shop. Now that you have some money, you can let Elizabeth shop anywhere she wants."

Felix sighed. "If I let her shop, she'd probably shop for a pistol so she could shoot me."

Oscar shook his head and scraped the small bowl to get more pudding onto his spoon. "If she were to kill you, she'd pick poison. No lady likes to see blood. That's why Guy hid Lydia's eyes when we went to that cottage on our estate."

Felix didn't want to be reminded of that cottage. He set his fork on the table then retrieved the napkin from his lap. He folded it, making sure the triangles were equal in length.

"Are you done eating already?" Oscar asked in surprise.

"I've had all I can stomach." Felix placed the napkin on the plate. "Do you want my pudding?"

With a nod, Oscar took it from him. "I can't get enough of this food. Guy was right about Cook. He makes everything taste good."

"Since when do you hate anyone's cooking?"

"There's a difference between food that is acceptable and food that makes you want more. This new cook makes me want to eat more."

"If you're not careful, you're going to gain weight."

"I eat all the time, and I haven't gained weight yet."

Yes, Felix supposed that was true. Felix wondered why he and Oscar weighed the same when Oscar ate a lot more than he did.

The butler approached Felix and gestured to his plate. "May I take this away, Lord Roland?"

Felix nodded. "Is Lady Roland going to join us?"

The butler shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

That was the answer Felix had expected. So he couldn't be surprised. But he was disappointed. How was he ever going to make amends when he couldn't speak to her? Should he send her a note? Did husbands do that kind of thing with their wives?

Maybe they did if their wives hated them.

But was it too soon to send her something? They had only been married for ten hours. The burden of this union was still fresh on her mind. His gaze went to Oscar as the butler left the room. "Do you think Elizabeth would appreciate a visit from Lydia? Lydia always knows what to say to ease a situation."

"I'm not sure. Lydia didn't seem very happy when she came into the drawing room after we were done eating, and if I recall, she and Elizabeth had been alone in there for a few minutes."

Had that happened? Felix wondered why he missed that. Perhaps it was because he'd been arguing with Guy over what to do with the doves. Guy had been insistent that Felix take the doves out of the cage and release them outside. Felix had asked Guy why he couldn't do it instead, and Guy, predictably, had stated it was good luck if Felix did it. The only reason Felix ended up doing it was to get the argument over with.

Felix's tongue ached for alcohol. Just one taste. One sip. Enough to reduce the anxiety from the day. His gaze went to the glass of wine Oscar hadn't touched. No one could imagine what it was like to want something this badly but be unable to have it.

Oscar finished the pudding then drank the wine.

Felix breathed a sigh of relief. He had come very close to snatching that glass and downing it himself.

"I know what will take your mind off of things," Oscar said when he was done. "Let's see a play at the theatre."

Felix's eyebrows furrowed. "Can a gentleman do that on his wedding night?"

"Gentlemen can do anything on their wedding night. Some even run off to their mistresses."

Well, if people weren't going to get upset by it, Felix would like to see a play. It would be nice to take his mind off of his situation for a while. Whenever he watched a play, he got lost in the story. He could do that with a book, too, but if he was at the theatre, he wouldn't be in this townhouse.

Felix jumped to his feet. "Let's do it."