Chapter Twenty-Two

D espite the fact that things were bound to be awkward at the market, Elizabeth was looking forward to the afternoon excursion. She and Felix had spent most of the previous evening talking about books they'd read or wanted to read. They had even spent a couple of hours in the library sorting through his collection of books. In the end, she ended up taking three more to her bedchamber. It had been an enjoyable evening. In fact, she'd been sorry when it came to an end.

While her lady's maid helped her get ready that afternoon, she had trouble sitting still. She told herself she was excited by the prospect of showing him Mr. Preston's shop. Since Felix appreciated art, she wanted to know his thoughts about the things that were there. She was tempted to show Felix her own engravings. In a roundabout way, she already had with her brass plate. But what would he think of her entire collection?

She ought to separate herself from her art, but thinking it and doing it were two different things. A rejection of her art might as well be a rejection of her. She didn't know how Mr. Preston didn't take rejection personally. It didn't bother him when someone in his shop was critical of something he'd made. Mr. Preston just shrugged and said that everyone had their own preferences. While true, Felix wasn't just ‘everyone'. He was her husband.

"There you are, my lady," Elizabeth's lady's maid said with a satisfied smile. "You're ready. Not that there was much to do to get you ready for the afternoon. You have a natural beauty."

Elizabeth returned her smile to let her know she appreciated the compliment. People had even said she would end up with the best-looking bachelor in London. She had heard that one a lot in the past. It was why she'd been so aghast that Felix would ask her to dance.

She pushed aside the twinge of guilt that rose up within her. Yes, she'd been wrong to dismiss him in such a callous way, but what could she do about it? She couldn't change the past. Just as Felix couldn't change the past. She knew he felt bad about ruining her reputation.

Was it possible they were more alike than different? They didn't make friends easily. They liked to have things a certain way. It might not be clothes or books for her, but she liked having her engravings set up in her bedchamber a certain way and did, from time to time, switch things around when she thought of a better way to feature them. They also had a tendency to speak before thinking when caught in an uncomfortable situation. Then they wanted to make things right but didn't know how.

And they had similar opinions about others. They both agreed that it was better to be clean than to live in a messy room like Oscar did. They even agreed on how strange Guy was.

Her mind unwittingly went to the way she and Felix had reacted when Guy wanted the doves to poop on them. She should have realized that Felix had some redeeming qualities when he'd shared in her horror on that one. She caught herself chuckling. She surmised that many things might be said about Guy, but no one could accuse him of being boring.

She took a deep breath to compose herself then left her bedchamber. To her surprise, Felix was waiting for her at the doorway of the drawing room.

"You must really love the market," she greeted.

He offered a tentative smile that let her know he was nervous. Her skin warmed in a pleasurable way she'd never experienced before.

"While it's true I enjoy browsing items in the market," Felix began, "I am interested in seeing this place where you found the owl. You said you got it from a shop that Mr. Preston owns?"

"Yes, he has a lot of beautiful things there. Are you sure you've never been to his shop?"

"If I'm correct, that owl cost a good amount of money."

Sensing that the statement was really a question, she nodded. "It was expensive, but that's because of the work that went into creating it."

"I hate to tell you this, but I make it a point to stay away from shops that I can't afford."

In that case, she bet he was only going to the shop because it meant he could spend time with her. Though her cousin had offered some money to Felix on the wedding day, it probably wasn't the kind of money that had changed his financial situation in any meaningful way. Hence why that meeting with Guy and Guy's friend had been so important to him. And he had given that up in order to keep the owl she wanted the drawing room.

She smiled at him and slipped her arm around his. "I'm looking forward to spending the day with you."

A blush crept up his cheeks, and while this only accentuated the fact that he had red hair, she thought if any gentleman could make red hair appealing, it was him. She blinked in wonder. Since when did she think he was attractive? Before she could dwell on the realization, the butler let them know the carriage was ready. Glad for the reprieve since she wasn't sure how to handle this sudden change in how she perceived Felix, she turned her attention to the afternoon that waited for them.

***

F ELIX PICKED UP A brONZE sculpture of an open book that had words engraved on the pages. At first, he thought the words were random, but upon closer inspection, he realized the artist had copied the exact words from two pages of a popular book. Felix turned the sculpture over and saw that the artist had engraved the title and the author on what was supposed to be the cover. What a surprising amount of detail the artist had put into this thing. It was no wonder the object was expensive. As much as he'd like to purchase it, he couldn't. He had to be careful with how he spent his money so he didn't end up in the same financial situation he was in before.

As Elizabeth had promised, all of the engraved items in this shop were beautifully done. He had never taken the time to consider engraved art in the past. He had focused on paintings. That was, probably, because he'd grown up being taught to appreciate those the most. He hadn't ever thought to expand his definition of art to include engraved images. But, he had to admit, these really were awe-inspiring. Imagine having this kind of talent. To make these types of designs one had to pay careful attention to detail and devote a lot of time in the work.

"What do you think?" Elizabeth asked when she came over to him.

Reluctant, he set the book down. "I can't believe engraved art can be so exquisite."

She smiled. "I'm glad you like this place."

"I do, but then, you must have suspected I would since you brought me here."

"Well, you appreciate the owl and the brass plate." She paused then added, "It's nice to be with someone who enjoys this kind of art like I do."

He hadn't realized how much she had wanted him to enjoy this shop. He also hadn't realized that by bringing him here, she was allowing him into a part of her life that, if he guessed right, she rarely told anyone about. His heart leapt with a mixture of joy and fear. He hadn't deluded himself into thinking that anything would come from a dance with her that night at the ball, but he had looked forward to dancing with someone like her. A gentleman would have to be made of stone to not desire even a single dance with her. But she had taken him here. What he was getting was much better than a dance.

He restrained his enthusiasm. He shouldn't pin too much hope on this moment. He could be assigning a totally different meaning to this outing than she was.

He cleared his throat and scanned the other objects in the room. "Is there anything here that you like?"

"Oh, I love everything that's here."

He hesitated to spend the money, but seeing how much she enjoyed the items, he decided he would give up a book or two so that she could have something. "What would you like to get?"

Her eyes grew wide. "I didn't come here to buy something."

"But you bought the owl here."

She nodded. "And that is enough for a while. I'm content with what I have."

"Are you sure? I don't mind splurging a little bit."

She chuckled and brushed a few strands of hair off of her shoulder then gave him a nonchalant shrug. The move, though brief, appealed to him. He was certain he was imagining things, but it almost seemed as if she was flirting with him.

"I recently bought the owl, and there's nothing I want in here more than that," she said. "But are you in the mood to buy something?"

"To be honest, I better not."

"Why not?" She gestured to the bronze book. "You seem to like that item."

"I better think about it." As much as he hated to tell her the truth, he felt he owed it to her since she was his wife. "When my father left me with very little money, I realized it's best if I take at least one week before buying something. Unless it's something I need right away, like a new ledger or boots."

"Those are things you need. They're not things you buy for enjoyment."

"The week helps me to avoid spending too much." He released his breath.

Someone as attractive as her should have married a gentleman who was in much better financial shape. She could have had everything she ever wanted at her fingertips. It was unfortunate she was stuck with someone who not only couldn't match her in looks but wasn't affluent. It was no wonder her brother had followed him out to the country to kill him.

Turning his attention back to her, he said, "I'm currently reading books on how to build up the money in the estate. One of these years, I won't have to wait at least one week before buying something."

"There's no point in buying something unless it has meaning. Otherwise, you're just collecting things." She grew somber for a moment then added, "Watching my cousin get rid of all the things that my brother bought over the years made me realize that. When you die, no one cares what you left behind, and quite frankly, my brother had too many things. I don't even think he did anything with most of the items he possessed."

"When you put it like that, I don't feel so terrible for not having more."

Her mood lightening, she asked, "Does that mean you're not going to buy any more books."

He laughed. "Oh, no. One can never have too many books."

She laughed along with him. Then she leaned into him in a manner that let him know she was having fun with him. "Now that I've shown you my favorite shop, let's see how many books you'll buy without waiting one week to think about it."

"I'd like to say that I don't buy books impulsively, but that would be a lie," he allowed. "It's my one weakness. I hope you won't think less of me if I come home with two or three of them. I read every single one I own."

Her eyes grew wide. "Are you telling me that you've read every book in the library at the townhouse?"

"I started reading at a very early age. While other children were playing games in their free time, I read books. I did play some games, but I scheduled a time to do that so those games wouldn't interfere with my reading. Lydia used to think there was something wrong with me because of it, though Oscar was more understanding. He likes to spend some of his time either fixing things or experimenting with chemicals. Lydia just always seems lost if she is alone. She seems to always need to be around someone."

"I could never spend all of my time with others. How else will you be able to sort out your thoughts if you're never alone?"

"That's what I used to tell Lydia when we were younger, but she worried I was lonely because I kept isolating myself from others." Glad Elizabeth understood him, he added, "I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one who thinks this way."

"I feel better, too. My parents and brother thought there was something wrong with me. There were times I wondered if they were right. Now, I know they weren't." She lowered her voice. "It's nice when you come across someone who truly understands you, isn't it?"

Knowing she was referring specifically to the two of them, he smiled, his heart swelling with so much happiness he thought it might burst. There was no other way he could respond than to say, "It is."