Chapter 23

I don't understand…

Paige stood outside the entrance to the hospital, her hands clasped behind her neck. This morning should have been far more positive than this—Juliet was awake, for God's sake. They should have been talking about what the future held and how best to navigate the coming weeks and months…but as Paige stood there, looking out at the ambulance bay, she wasn't sure Juliet would even allow her back into her hospital room.

This hadn't been the expected outcome.

As she considered her next move, Paige's phone started to ring in her pocket. If it was the police, she couldn't deal with them right now. The hospital had probably called them to tell them Juliet was awake, so now the feeding frenzy could begin.

Paige exhaled when she looked down at her screen. It was Hannah calling.

"Hey." She tried to appear more upbeat than she actually was. "Juliet is awake. I was just getting some fresh air before I called to let you know."

Hannah gasped. "That's amazing news. How is she doing?"

Hmm. How did Paige answer that question? Honestly , she thought. It was the only way to approach all of this. With complete honesty. "Hard to say at the moment."

"She's probably still feeling a bit out of it. I'm sure she'll be feeling brighter once the sedation has worn off. Once she realises that she's okay, you know?"

Paige hoped so, but Juliet had appeared as lucid as ever when she'd said what she had earlier. "Yeah, I'm sure she will."

"Paige, is there something you're not telling me? I thought you'd be happier than this."

Yeah, Paige had thought she would be happier too. And she was, she was thrilled that Juliet was awake. She just wished her girlfriend hadn't said what she had. She wished this could have all been different today. Paige felt incredibly out of place. "I think things may be different going forward." Paige swallowed, closing her eyes. "I don't really know what's going on, but I don't know if I'll be around or not."

"W-what?" She heard the confusion in Hannah's voice. It wasn't a surprise.

"Things happen, and people's perspective on life changes. They realise they want something different. I don't know. I'm not really sure what to say, to be honest. But whatever comes of all of this, we'll still be friends, right?"

"Paige, you're not making any sense. Why wouldn't you be around?"

She lowered herself to the floor, pressing her back to the wall as she brought her knees to her chest. "That's something you'd have to speak to Juliet about. It's not my place to explain how all of this happened. The attack and things. It's her private business. Even if she doesn't want to be with me anymore, I still respect that it's her business, and I'd never say anything she didn't want people to know."

"While that's very big of you, I want to know what's going on. Juliet is my friend, and if she's in trouble, I need to know."

"It's not important right now. I'm sure she would love to see you, though. Visiting hours are still the same if you and Caz wanted to head up later today…"

Hannah sighed. "Right. Okay. Caz is working late tonight, but I'll probably come in and see her."

Paige smiled. "She'll love that. I know she will."

"I'll let you go. You should be with her, not wasting time on the phone with me."

All Paige wanted was to be sitting beside Juliet. Talking and laughing. Loving one another. Fighting over who was making dinner. The normal stuff. The good stuff. "She's resting. I should probably go out and pick a new phone up for her while she's doing that. It got smashed up during the attack."

"Still no news on who is responsible?"

The police hadn't released Cara's name yet. But Paige had been led to believe that they were close to doing so. "I think they have a suspect or two, but you know what they can be like. They don't want to give out any names while they're investigating."

"And Juliet? She didn't see her attacker?"

Paige hated this. She didn't want to lie to friends. "Again, that's something you should speak to Juliet about." God, Paige really hoped that Juliet would tell Hannah and Caz what was going on. All of this was too hard to keep up with when nobody knew the reason behind the attack. "I should go and get that phone I mentioned."

"Okay, well, I'll see you this evening at the hospital. Call me if you need me to bring anything in."

"I think she has everything she needs for the time being, but thanks."

"See you later. Make sure you look after yourself, too."

Paige scoffed inwardly at that. If Juliet was sure she wanted what she wanted, then Paige didn't know if she had the capacity to look after herself. Life had been so perfect, so full of promise and excitement…and now it was all gone. Just like that, Paige was looking at a very lonely future. "I-I will. Bye, Hannah."

As the call ended, Paige stared down at the screen. It was a picture of Juliet when they'd spent the weekend at home just before she left for the European leg of Soraya's tour. Juliet had been reading, the light flooding through the windows capturing her beauty. Paige couldn't resist when it came to snapping the moment forever, and now…it was likely all she would have left at the end of this. Pictures and memories.

She brushed a hand across her cheek as a tear fell, then dialled Henry's number.

"Hey, Paige. You've been gone a while. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Just outside getting some air."

"I see." Henry cleared his throat. "The doctor has just been in to see Juliet. Checked her over and whatever else they do. She's sitting up now."

Paige beamed a smile at that. "That's amazing. I'm so proud of her for pulling through."

"She's always been made of strong stuff, kid."

Paige chewed her lip as she scrambled to her feet. "Are you with her now?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Could I speak to her? She doesn't have a phone, so I can't get hold of her any other way." Paige heard movement, and then that soft breath filtered down the line. "Hey, it's just me. I'm going to head into town and pick up a new phone for you, okay?"

"Paige, you don't need to do that. I don't really need a phone while I'm in here."

So Juliet didn't want to keep in contact with Paige on the days when she wasn't there with her. The more Juliet said, the harsher this all felt on Paige. "Well, I'm going to get you one anyway. And if you don't want to answer my calls or texts, then that's okay. But you should at least have some friends around you if you don't want me. Hannah and Caz will want to keep in touch with you. Henry, too. Just…let me do this for you, please?"

"Okay."

"I'll only be a couple of hours. If you haven't slept yet, maybe now would be a good time. I'll just drop it off later, and if you don't want me to stay, I won't. Hannah is visiting, so you won't be alone. U-unless you want to be alone. I don't know." Paige puffed out her cheeks as she shook her head. "I'm just wasting your time on this call now. Maybe I'll see you later."

"Bye, Paige."

"Yeah, bye."

She's so beautiful.

Juliet watched Paige sleeping in a single chair in the corner of the room. She didn't know how long she had been here or how long Juliet had been sleeping, but it was clear that Paige hadn't been taking much care of herself lately. She could ask Paige to look after herself, but after this morning, Juliet wasn't sure she had any right to ask that. She didn't know what she had been thinking or why she'd asked Paige to leave, but she really hoped Paige would forgive her.

Deep down, it wasn't what Juliet wanted at all.

She could worry about Paige's safety, but ultimately, they needed to be together. To plan a future with one another. Their relationship had blossomed so beautifully over the last year that Juliet only wanted to build on it. Not tear it down. As of this moment, it was important that she didn't let her fears get in the way of the relationship she had. Because, really, Paige was all she had and all she needed.

Juliet reached forward for her glass of water, groaning as quietly as she could. She was in far less pain than she imagined she would be, and right now, she was just happy to be alive. She carefully sipped her water, enjoying the quietness and the view. Paige always looked so at ease when she was sleeping, even if she didn't look very comfortable sitting upright in her seat.

As Juliet studied that pretty face, Paige's eyes opened slowly. She grimaced, rolling her neck from side to side, then sat forward a little. She hadn't realised Juliet was awake. Paige lowered her head to her hands. Juliet could only imagine what must be running through Paige's mind this afternoon, none of them good thoughts. As Juliet opened her mouth to speak, she caught Paige wiping tears from her face.

Paige looked up to the ceiling, closed her eyes, and inhaled a deep breath. When she lowered her head again, their eyes met. "O-oh. Sorry. I didn't realise you were awake."

"I've been awake for a while."

"You should have woken me up." Paige stood and stretched her body. "I wasn't going to stay, but when I got here, you were alone."

Juliet smiled. "I'm okay being alone. People have lives to get on with."

"I just didn't want you to be alone. But…I'll go. Give you some space. Let you figure everything out in your head." Paige swallowed. "Just…" She ran a hand down her face, pausing for a moment. "If this is the end of us, would you at least let me look after you until you've recovered? To be there for you and anything you need? The doctor said it's going to be a long road, and I'd really like to do that one last thing for you before you ask me to leave. Before I never see you again."

Juliet's heart ached at that. She had been so stupid to say what she had. "Paige?—"

Paige held up a hand. "No, please just hear me out."

"Okay." Juliet wanted to give Paige the opportunity to vent. To be angry if she needed to be. And then she would make things right between them.

"When James assaulted me, you looked after me. You promised to be there to take care of me, and I can never thank you enough for that. I didn't expect it; it was my own fault for ever going back to Kent, but you didn't judge me for that. You didn't tell me how stupid I'd been…you just held me. Loved me." Paige sniffled when her voice cracked. "From that moment on, all I wanted was to be the perfect partner for you. To you. And maybe I failed somewhere down the line, so you've realised that I'm not the right person for you, but I'd be so grateful if you would give me the opportunity to be here for you."

Juliet's throat constricted as she looked back at a broken Paige. What the hell had possessed her to be so blasé about their relationship earlier?

"I just need to ask you something," Paige said, returning to the seat she'd been sleeping in. "All of the pushing when it came to the tour…is that why you wanted me to go? Because you don't want to be with me anymore?"

"God, no. Never."

"It's just that I really thought things were good between us. Perfect in my mind. But maybe I'm just not good enough. Coming from such an abusive relationship, I guess I didn't know what I was doing, and maybe you need more—I don't know." Paige clasped her hands under her chin, her elbows resting on her knees as she sat forward. "If you said those things earlier because you just don't love me, then I need you to be honest with me, Juliet. But if this is about my safety, then I can't walk away from you." Paige's bottom lip trembled as tears slid down her face. "I-I…I don't want any kind of life without you. I can't imagine packing up and leaving."

"Paige, come here." Juliet reached out a hand, relieved when Paige took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

"Is that what this is? You've fallen out of love with me?"

"No, baby."

"Is it about Soraya? Do you not trust me? I know we let it lie when you came to see me that time, but I thought you believed me." Paige frowned. "I'd never do anything to hurt you, and if I have to prove that to you, I will."

Juliet held Paige's hand tight, the pain in her eyes devastating. "Paige, I made a mistake. Maybe I should have given myself some time to wake up and come around properly. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut."

"If it's how you feel, then I need you to be honest with me." Paige lifted Juliet's hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry if I'm not enough for you."

"You're so much more than I ever could have dreamed of," Juliet said, staring deep into Paige's eyes. "I don't want you to leave. I don't ever want to see the day when you walk away from us. I had a moment, my fears got the better of me, and I'm so sorry for hurting you."

Paige broke down at the side of the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Juliet wanted to wrap her arms around her, to kiss away the pain she had caused, but she couldn't. Fuck Cara for doing this to them.

"Once I'm out of here, we focus on us, okay? No tours, no paranoia about who is around, just us." Juliet smiled when Paige held her hand against her cheek. "I love you, Paige. I love you so much , and I always will."

"D-do you remember anything after she left the bar? Do you remember when I got there?"

"Vaguely. Bits and pieces. But nothing I could explain." Juliet wasn't sure she wanted to remember anything from that day. The aftereffects were bad enough. "But I do remember you being there. Holding me."

"I-I asked you to marry me," Paige said, her voice low. "I never wanted that moment to be like that, the day when I asked you to be my wife, but I couldn't risk losing you and you never knowing I wanted that with you."

Juliet swallowed as she stared back at Paige. God, she wished she'd remembered that one piece of information. It was the only part she wanted to remember.

"You said yes." Paige regarded Juliet with one of her signature smiles. "You said yes, but I don't know if you meant it. Whether it was just because of what was happening in that moment, you know?"

Juliet slid her hand from Paige's cheek and cupped her chin. "Ask me again."

"I don't even have a ring to give to you. I wasn't prepared."

"I don't need a ring, but I do need you to ask me again." Juliet hadn't imagined in her wildest dreams that anyone would ever want to marry her. She had spent her entire life wishing for the perfect future, only for it to never happen. But then she found Paige, and everything aligned for her. If this woman wanted Juliet to be her wife, she would never turn her down. Marriage or not, Juliet wanted to spend forever with Paige. "Please, baby. Ask me again."

Paige turned on the bed, facing Juliet fully. She studied her, stroking a thumb against Juliet's knuckles, the pain lessening in her eyes. "Will you make me the luckiest person in the world and marry me?"

"Yes." Juliet drew Paige in, kissing her for the first time in too long. She couldn't imagine a world where she didn't have this life anymore, and she'd known it this morning as she had foolishly said something entirely different. "I'd marry you over and over if I had the chance."

Paige pulled back suddenly, the smile she wore almost blinding Juliet. "That's what you said when I asked you last time."

"I did?" Juliet lifted a brow. "Well, then, I guess it was meant to be."

"God, I can't wait until you're back home with me." Paige touched her forehead to Juliet's, her eyes closed. "I miss you so much."

"I miss you, too."

"I'm staying the night with you here. I don't care what they say; I'm staying."

Juliet wasn't going to argue about that. The thought of lying here alone, a million thoughts running through her mind…she didn't need that. If Paige could convince the staff to let her stay, then Juliet would have the perfect night.

Just get better so you can go home.