Chapter 4

"Mommy, you are not looking." The little girl complained.

Shaking herself from her reverie, she forced a smile and watched as her daughter used her toes to push herself on the swing. They were out in the yard, and it was just the two of them, as her aunt had gone off to visit friends, something April was grateful for. She was not in the mood to argue- not today.

She had not called him, even though she had wanted to, and had spent the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

"Mommy?"

Shaking herself, she directed her attention to the little girl.

"Yes, honey?"

"Are you sad?"

April gave the little girl a startled glance. "Why would you ask me that?"

"You look sad, and you looked a little angry. Is it Auntie?"

"No." She shook her head quickly. "It's – er- it's work." She hated lying to her little girl but could not tell her why she was out of sorts.

"I don't have a dad." The disconsolate note in the little girl's voice had her heart skittering.

"You have me and your aunt." Getting up from the lawn chair, she went to sit on the second swing, using her feet to push her gently. "And we love you a lot."

Lifting her head, Chloe gazed at her, golden-brown eyes welling with tears. "Missy in my class said that something is wrong with me."

"What?" April felt the anger racing through her. "Why on earth would she say something like that?"

"It's because I don't have a dad. Missy lives with her mommy and her daddy. They all do, except Steven, who lives with his mother because his daddy left to go to another home. I told them I do not know my daddy, and they laughed."

Reaching out, she took the little girl's hand and felt ashamed and angry that she had contributed to this beautiful little girl's problems.

"And that wasn't very nice of them, honey." She told her quietly. "You have a dad; everyone does."

"Where is he?"

She struggled to tamp down the frustration. The man had married the daughter of the firm"s partner and was now in charge of the place. April had called him after she had given birth to their daughter, trying to get him to become a part of his daughter's life, but he had told her she was on her own.

"I told you to get rid of it. I am the managing partner of my firm, and I have no intention of doing anything to jeopardize that. I am a damned good lawyer, April, and if you are considering doing anything to try and change that, I am warning you that you will fight with your hands."

"She is your daughter!"

"I already told you I am not cut out to be a father. Now, I don't want to hear from you again. Is that clear?"

She had not contacted him again, but the idea of marching into his law firm and declaring to all and sundry the type of man who was running the place had crossed her mind several times. But then she had calmed down enough to realize that by doing so, she would have started a war without getting the desired result.

She squeezed her daughter's hand and tried to think of the right thing to say. "I was very young and thought I was in love with him."

The little girl had stopped pushing the swing and stared at her mother.

"Did you want to marry him?"

April smiled and was transported back to when she was so na?ve and foolish. "Yes, I did. But he had different plans for his life. He told me he did not want to be a dad."

"Why not?"

She shook her head as she tried the best way to explain without making the little girl feel as if she was not wanted and hated Marcus for putting her in this position. He could have agreed to be part of Chloe's life without messing up his own, but he had chosen the coward's way out.

"He chose his career, his work over being a dad."

"Can I talk to him?" Chloe asked plaintively. "I could tell him that I want him to be a daddy and tell him how my friends are laughing at me."

April had no idea she could feel even lower than she thought now, but she did.

"No, Chloe."

"Why not?" She demanded.

"He told me he did not want to hear from me again."

"Maybe I could call- "

"No!" Closing her eyes as the little girl blanched, she tried again. "He does not want anything to do with us, honey. I am sorry."

Her bottom lip trembled. "Is it because of me?"

Snatching her out of the swing, April put her on her lap and hugged her fiercely. "It's because of him. You are beautiful and sweet, and he is missing out. I have you all to myself, and I love it."

Planting a kiss on the tumble of unruly dark brown curls, she eased Chloe away to meet her eyes. "You are loved, and one day soon, we will be together. I promise."

"What about Auntie?"

April hesitated. "She gets to visit as often as she wants to." Lifting a hand, she brushed back the hairs from Chloe's forehead. "Tell your friend that your mommy loves you as wide as the ocean and that she loves you enough for six people. Okay?"

Chloe nodded, her tears drying up. "Benny says you are beautiful, and he loves you."

April shouted startled laughter, relieved that the little girl was already rallying.

"Did he now?"

"Yes." Chloe bobbed her head. "I told him he is too little."

"He is. But tell him thanks for saying that I am beautiful."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I am glad you are my mommy."

"I am glad you are my daughter."

*****

Antwan did not allow himself to become perturbed. He had not heard from her, but he was not worried. He would give her time to process what had transpired between them. It was quite a lot to take in.

He had spent last night lying on his back and staring at his bedroom ceiling with a stupid grin. He had found the woman he had been looking for, and the kick was that he had not been looking. Being with her made him feel like he was drifting on a cloud. The lovemaking had blown him out of the water.

And he was still puzzled that she had only been with one other person. There was a sad story there; he had felt it and hoped she would open up. A frown touched his brow as he wondered if she was still in love with him. Was that why she had never been with anyone else

Shaking that away, he contemplated the pleasure of being with her again.

"You are lost in thought."

He had decided to have breakfast by the pool and instructed the kitchen to send his meal out.

He had slept in after playing a hectic game of tennis with some clients and then taking them to the club for a late supper.

"Mother." He sent her a rueful smile as she settled on the chaise beside him and removed her robe. "Here to join me for breakfast?"

"I instructed Armand to make it for two." Plucking the sunscreen from the tote, she uncovered it and rubbed the cream into her skin. "Your father decided to go and play golf with Judge Hamilton." Her blue eyes studied his face. "Your brothers are coming back tonight."

A frown touched his brow. "I thought they were staying for another week at least."

"They were, but Antonio is not feeling well, and the Gen Tech merger is officially falling apart."

"Is my nephew going to be okay?" He addressed the critical issue first and had his mother smiling.

"I think he is coming down with a virus, but they don't want to take any chances."

"I could have handled the merger."

"It's Andre's baby, and he wants to take care of it. Besides, you have enough on your plate."

Capping the tube, she dropped it into her bag and gave him her full attention. "And unless I miss my guess, you will have a social life."

He quirked a brow at her and waited until the maid had placed the heavy tray on the table between them. "Are you implying that I had zero social life before?"

Taking off the silver dome covers, she sniffed the delicious aroma of creamy oatmeal rich with blueberries and savory freshly baked bread. Pouring the coffee, she handed him a cup before settling back to enjoy her breakfast. "I want someone worthy of you."

"I have a feeling that will be a tall order." Taking up his cup, he sipped the coffee.

"All I want for you, as I have always wanted for your brothers, is for you to be happy. There are no other stipulations, you know that."

"I do, yes."

She smiled as she picked up her spoon, intending to enjoy her oatmeal. "When Alex met Andrea, he knew right from the beginning that she would be his wife. There were obstacles, of course, and that mother of hers- "Angeline shook her head in memory.

"She was a lot to take in. And then, we had a ready-made family with Andre and Chandra." She mused. "I feel great being a grandmother and have enjoyed watching the family grow. Your brothers are happy, and I would love the same thing for you."

"I am working on it." He assured her.

She eyed him curiously. "You are still not going to tell me anything?"

"There is nothing to tell yet. I met someone special, but that's all for now. I don't know where this is going- "

"I think you do."

Reaching for the thin slices of bread, Antwan slathered it with the freshly churned butter.

"When you were a baby, I watched you hauled yourself up by the various furnishings in your playroom." His mother's tone was whimsical. "You wanted to walk so badly that you were determined to make it happen."

"Or it might have been that I had older brothers who dragged me behind them." He murmured dryly. "Both Andre and Alex were constantly on the move."

"Especially Alex." Angeline agreed with a fond laugh. "You were the youngest and were determined to impress your brothers."

"I persuaded Alex to take me to a seedy bar downtown where we fought." He shook his head in memory. "Good times."

"Your brother was out of control, and your father was so mad that he was in jeopardy of blowing a fuse."

"You managed to calm him down."

"Barely." Putting her spoon down, she turned to face him. "I want the best for you, darling. And I do not want to see you hurt."

He looked at her in surprise. "Why do you think that will happen?"

"Because I think you are already thinking about this woman as ‘the one."

"And if I am?"

"I would then ask if you knew anything about her."

"I will."

She stared at him for a few seconds before reaching for her coffee. "I am trusting your instinct, darling."

*****

"Honey, what did you expect? She will get curious, and kids are ruthless even though they don't mean to be."

They were at a local diner because April had not felt like returning to her place, where she would sit and reflect on the conversation with her daughter and the night she had spent with Antwan Collins. So, she called Rachel and asked if her friend could meet her at Sally's.

"I feel guilty," April admitted, stirring her glass of frosted lemonade. They had chosen a table outside to watch the ships on the harbor. The cold shrimp in front of her was not as enticing as when she had seen it on the menu.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about." Her friend insisted. "You did not know what type of man that bastard was. Oh, I wish there was some way you could stick it to him."

"I already tried that, and he threatened me with a lawsuit."

"Have you ever thought of using the piece of crap for child maintenance? My God, the man is raking in the money at that blasted law firm of his and has a daughter out there that he is not even supporting."

"He did tell me to get rid of her." April reminded her grimly.

"That's not the point. The point is that you kept the baby, and it's his responsibility to help take care of him. You really should take him to court."

April shook her head. "I am not going to force him to acknowledge his child. He said he wanted nothing to do with us, and I have my pride. He did not force me into the relationship. I went into it with my eyes wide open."

"And now Chloe is suffering because of it."

April stared at her friend and sighed in frustrated anger. "When Chloe started talking about what the kids at her school were saying to her, I was so mad that I wanted to pick up the phone and call to tell him how I felt. But that has passed. It's over, Rach, and I only need to concentrate on finding a way to have my daughter with me."

"How is that going to happen?" Her friend asked her curiously.

April shrugged. "I live in a one-bedroom townhouse that is too damned expensive. I have been checking out daycares in the area where the firm is- "

"And let me guess: They cost an arm and a leg. That firm of yours should offer that kind of service. As COO, surely you are in a position to make that recommendation."

"You don't think I have been rallying for that over the years? As he puts it, the managing partner is a pinchpenny who does not like to spend unnecessary money. And I happen to work odd hours."

"You are going to find a way. If I wasn't going through my divorce- "

"Don't worry about it," April assured her, forcing a smile. "I will find a way."

*****

The uproar in the Great Hall sounded like a party was going on. His eight-year-old niece Marissa was seated on his lap, pretending not to be enjoying the going-ons of her little brother and cousin. Andrew and Alex were lounging in the velvet green sofas with their wives.

Both Chandra and Andrea laughed at their sons" antics while relating their stories of what happened when they were at Disney.

"Why are you quiet, my pet?" Antwan asked his niece quietly as she continued to maintain her silence. He was happy to have them home and was enjoying the chaos now usual in their household.

"Alec threw up twice when we were on the slide."

"I thought Antonio was the one feeling ill?"

She nodded, braids bouncing. The little girl had come into their lives when Alex married her mother and was now also a Collins. Antwan would give her his life; being the only girl, she was spoiled and rotten. Angeline would take her shopping to exclusive stores, ignoring Chandra's protests.

"They were too little to deal with the rides, and I told Daddy that."

"But I bet you were brave and went on all of them." He said solemnly.

"I did. I wish you had come with us, Uncle Antwan."

"And who would have stayed back to keep Grandma and Grandpa company?" He asked her teasingly.

"I never thought of that." Leaning over, she hugged him, sending a jolt through his heart. "I love you."

"And I love you more, darling."

*****

"What have you been up to, little brother?" They were in the library enjoying the after-dinner port. Their parents were helping Chandra and Andrea to settle the children in for the night.

"This and that." Antwan glanced at Andre, who was lounging against the mantle with a half-smile on his lips. "I understand you have a problem."

"Nothing that a meeting with the client cannot fix."

Antwan nodded. "And Antonio seems to have recovered from whatever had been ailing him."

"I think my son was longing for home." His smile turned indulgent. "He is getting to the age where he thinks he should get whatever his little heart desires."

He laughed softly, taking a sip of his drink. "He wanted to take home a giant Mickey Mouse, and when we told him that it was impossible and that there was no space, he pointed out that we had our plane."

"He is your son," Alex grumbled. "Entitled and spoiled."

"And used to the finer things. How was the ball?"

It took all his self-control for Antwan not to show any reaction to the simple question. Both of his brothers were acutely perceptive, a quality that made them exceptional lawyers, but he knew if they got an inkling that he had met someone special, he would not hear the end of it, and they would be tempted to interfere.

"It was boring as hell." He said evasively.

"We were not cut up about missing it."

"You enjoyed yourself."

"Yes," Alex answered for both. We have been working too hard and wanted to give the family some downtime. Our wives are married to lawyers and know what to expect, and they don't complain."

"Except when Chandra demanded that we go somewhere as a family." Andre chuckled, finishing his drink. "Speaking of which, I need to go and lavish some attention on the love of my life." Putting away his glass, he looked at his brothers'. "Gentlemen, see you at the firm tomorrow."

"Bright and early," Antwan told him.

"Bright and early for you, brother," Andre said with a grin. "Not only are you a junior partner, but you also don't have a family to see to."

"As if you contribute anything much." He muttered.

"Oh, I contribute a hell of a lot." With a mock salute, he left them in the room.

"Aren't you going to be with Andrea?"

"Later." Alex rose gracefully and went to pour himself some scotch. "What's going on with you?"

Antwan almost sighed in defeat. He should have known Alex had not bought his evasive move. "I already told you."

Alex's blue eyes clashed with his. "I noticed how quiet and introspective you were and that you have been off for weeks. Things not going well with that actress?"

"I already know you don't like her."

"She is too false and trying too damned hard to prove that she would be the perfect wife for you." Alex gave him a sharp look. "And if you are thinking of marrying her, I will knock your head against the wall several times."

"Thanks for the warning and the reminder that there is still that violent tendency inside you."

"It never left," Alex said with a grin. "It's only just tempered because I happen to be a husband and a father."

"And Andrea would have your head if it resurfaced."

"That too." He lifted his glass in a toast. "Now spill. What the hell is going on?"

"I broke things off with her."

"The actress."

"Yes."

"That's fantastic news. I was thinking we should find someone for you. There is- "He broke off as his brother started laughing.

"You are playing matchmaker. You?"

"Why the hell not?" he asked irritably. "Okay, okay. It's Andrea's idea. She has this friend- "

"No. I love my sister-in-law, but please tell her I don't need her to set me up with anyone."

"She and Chandra are of the impression that you are lousy regarding the suitable woman."

His eyebrows lifted. "Is that right?"

Antwan wondered what they would say if he told them about April. Mentally shaking his head, he continued to sip his port as he watched his brother. It was his little secret for now; he would keep it that way.