Chapter 43 - Oliver

T he past few days have been a dream. If someone had told me a few months ago that Hunt and I would be officially in a relationship, that we'd give each other another chance, I would've laughed in their face. Seeing as, at the time, there was no fucking way that was even a possibility. Surely, he hated me too much. Surely I'd fucked up enough in this lifetime. Only now that we've forgiven each other and moved on from everything, now that he has come to terms with his sexuality…it feels like we have our whole lives ahead of us. Like, we finally have a shot at this. It's as exhilarating as it is terrifying.

Hunter told me he came out to the team. At first, I didn't know what to think or how to feel, except maybe I was a little relieved. Now, though? I feel like all my dreams are coming true, one after the other, in rapid succession. It's a little overwhelming, but I can't lie, it's everything I've ever wanted. Everything I used to beg for. Now, he's giving it to me without any prompting or begging on my side. It's as if he genuinely does want this, and that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Does he feel the same? Is he happy?

Warm fingers interlace with mine as Hunter grabs a hold of my hand, and I look at him with a smile. We're sitting side by side at my Narcotics Anonymous meeting, our sides pressed against each other until we're touching everywhere. My sponsor, Lisa, gave me a disapproving look when I came in holding Hunter's hand, but I raised an eyebrow and kept walking. She has now made it her mission to go to the podium and give a speech on the importance of waiting a full year before entering any type of romantic relationship during recovery.

I scowl at her words, but Hunter just squeezes my hand in reassurance. Nothing is keeping us apart, not even this unspoken rule. It's not even an actual rule. They can't control our choices. It's more like just trying to steer us in the right direction. Quite frankly, I'm not letting anything tear Hunt and I apart. Not now when I finally have everything I've ever wanted.

Well, almost everything.

We haven't come out to my dad, although that's next. We have dinner with him in a few days, and Hunt already told me he'd be telling Conrad all about us. It's terrifying to think about, but we must be brave. I already know he won't approve. It doesn't take much imagination to picture his face turning red with anger at the revelation. However, it's worth it—it has to be done.

We have to tell him if we want a real chance at a future. The sooner, the better. I don't want him to find out from someone else, or worse, he sees us at school holding hands or in another compromising position. Surely, I'll be going to Hunt's games and wearing his jersey. Dad will probably find that odd, and before long, he'll be able to put two and two together.

I've tried not to give it much thought because it scares me, but what if Dad doesn't want us together? What then? Will Hunter break up with me? Will he tell Conrad to fuck off? The fact that I don't know… scares the hell out of me.

People clap and cheer for Lisa as she walks away from the podium, and her eyes are on me the entire time. The meeting wraps up, and she finds me before I have a chance to run away, which is exactly what I was trying to do. But I know I have to face her, even if I'm not making choices she approves of. At least I'm clean, and I will continue to be. For the sake of myself and this relationship, I know I have no other choice.

Lisa doesn't know the extent of our history, the push and pull between us, and the love we built from the ground up all those years ago. All she knows are the bad parts I've told her. What I had to disclose as my triggers for relapsing. Maybe I didn't have to tell her all about it, but at the time, I never thought Hunt and I would be getting back together. I was being honest with her in case I needed her, but now all I feel is regret for painting a negative picture of what could be a beautiful thing.

"We should talk, Ollie," Lisa says when she reaches me, and I stiffen. Hunter keeps a firm grip on my hand, squeezing once in reassurance. "If this is going to stick, we should devise a plan to protect your sobriety."

I shake my head, but Hunter interjects, "I think that's a great idea."

I gaze up at him like he's lost his damn mind while he just smiles at me. "Do we have to?" I ask Lisa, my mood somber. I don't exactly want to talk to her about this. I have to trust Hunter to protect my heart, and I have to trust myself to be strong enough to continue on if he doesn't.

"I think we do." Lisa smiles apologetically. "We both know this is a bad idea. However, if you won't budge on this relationship, we should at least make a plan—just in case."

I nod because Hunter squeezes me again. I really don't want to do this, but maybe it's not such a terrible idea. I'll do it if only to know how to cope when Dad finds out. Perhaps I can be open and honest with her about that and she'll help me. Even if Hunt and I are strong enough to withstand whatever Conrad throws our way, I'll probably need support.

"Okay," I say begrudgingly.

"Meet me at Metro Diner in an hour." She smiles, and I tell her we'll be there.

An hour later, we're sitting at the diner, a hole in the wall. It's pretty with its checkered floors and spaced-out booths. The lights from the ceiling are low-hanging, giving off the vibes of a high-end restaurant—the way they're dimmed.

Hunter and I sit on the same side, our shoulders brushing, his hand squeezing my thigh. He's always hated sitting across from each other, and now that we don't have to pretend or hide, it's so much better. He looks at me with fucking heart eyes and a smirk on his lips, making my stomach do a weird little flutter. I'll never be over the way he makes me feel. Like I'm his entire world, the only thing he sees—the only one for him.

I slide my hand between my thighs and grab his, interlacing our fingers. We don't even have to look at the menu to know what we want—our favorite. So when the waitress comes around, he orders chicken and waffles for both of us without even asking me. This is why I never got over him. He knows me better than anyone. If this isn't meant to be—if we're not meant to be together—then I have no hope for a future relationship. No one will know me the way he does.

There's a moment of silence where he stares at me with a little smile on his lips, although it's not awkward. It just appears soft—nostalgic, even. His green eyes dilate as he looks at my lips, and before I can say anything, he leans in and gives me a kiss. His lips brush against my cheek as he pulls away and kisses me there too. I was used to affectionate Hunter before everything happened, but now it feels even more special. I took it for granted back then. However, now that he's not hiding us…I'll never make that mistake again.

Someone clears their throat as they walk past us, and when I peer up I see it's Lisa. Her smile is apologetic as she sits across from us and clasps her hands together. "I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to come off that strong, Ollie. I worry about you as your sponsor, and I'm afraid of what might happen if you break up. You've told me some details that make it feel…like it's a possibility."

Hunter nods, "I can understand why you're worried." My heart squeezes in my chest and a lump forms in my throat as I wait with bated breath for what he's about to say. "But Ollie and I love each other. We're inevitable, him and I. Nothing and no one is going to keep him away from me, so you can go ahead and make a plan to keep him sober—just know it won't be without me."

My breath expels in one long exhale, and Lisa's eyes widen.

"So it's like that then, huh?" Lisa smirks, and we both nod. "Well, then. I guess you need to tell me what's next so I can support you better, Ollie."

"Coming out to my dad," I tell her slowly. "It will happen in a few days. We're afraid of how he might react."

"That makes sense." She taps her chin as if she's thinking. The sight makes me chuckle, and when I peek over at Hunt he's rolling his eyes. It's playful, though I can tell he's desperate to know how we're going to proceed. "How about this…if something goes wrong with your dad, text me a code word, and I'll drop everything to help you."

"Code word?" My brows furrow in confusion.

"Yeah." She nods enthusiastically. "Pick a code word, and I'll know something is wrong. That way I can call you or meet you somewhere. This word tells me you're thinking of using, and I'll drop everything for you."

Wow, I never even thought of that.

Now that she has said it though, it seems extremely helpful. I'll probably need her after Dad finds out. I just know it. He's not going to take it well. Not with Hunter being the golden boy and me being the…fuck up. He's going to try to convince Hunt to let me go. And if he did, if he picked Dad over us, well, I don't know what I would do. But she's right, I'd probably use.

"Antidote," I blurt out. "My word."

She grins, her face lighting up. "I like that."

"It's settled, then," I say with a small smile, wishing she'd go away now so I can spend my time with Hunter. "I'll let you know when I need you."

She nods, getting the hint, and stands. "See ya."

I glance up at Hunt, and he smiles down at me in reassurance. Suddenly, I don't feel so alone in this. He's by my side through this, just like Lisa. That gives me hope. It gives me peace. It brings me happiness. And I'm going to hold on to all of those emotions, keep them close to my heart.

Mostly because I know they might be short-lived.