Chapter 2 - Oliver
11 YEARS OLD
I 've been feeling weird lately.
School just started a few weeks ago, and now that I'm eleven, I'm in sixth grade. Hunter and I stick together when we can, and our parents even make sure we're together for all our classes. The one thing I have noticed is that he doesn't stay with me during recess anymore. He goes with the kids who play sports, and I stay with the kids who play Pokémon cards. I miss him all the time, except there's no way I can tell him this bothers me. It would come off weird.
What am I supposed to say? Hey, Hunt, can you please never leave my side again?
Instead, I've been spending all my time with Ian. He's not Hunter, but he kind of looks like him with his pretty green eyes and brown hair. His lips are thinner, and his nose is bigger, but if I squint my eyes, I can almost pretend he's my brother. Except with Ian it's different, because he actually wants to spend time with me. There's no one else he'd rather be with during recess, which makes tiny butterflies scatter in my belly every time I think of him.
My mom has pointed out that the older I get, the more handsome I become. I'm starting to believe her, especially since one of the girls at school asked me to be her boyfriend. Considering our age, I think that's a bit soon, but I also can't deny that I don't find her pretty enough to be with. If I'm being honest, I don't think of any girls that way. I can see the girl is pretty, but I have no desire to actually hang out with her or any of them, for that matter. I don't want to hang out with them or get to know them. Instead, I seek out Ian. Pretty, sweet, Ian.
I'm not stupid; I know what this means. My dad has always talked about his celebrity crushes, one of them being Jessica Alba. Even my mom talks about her own crushes, which are obviously men. Hunter never comments, and then there's me—too afraid to tell them since I've never had a celebrity girl crush. It's always been boys. Even when I watch cartoons, it's boys. Batman and Superman, especially.
I've been hearing the word gay floating around at school. Some of the kids are being targeted and shunned, which is why I'm very careful not to look at Ian for longer than necessary, even if I love the way his green eyes sparkle as we look into each other's eyes. I guess, if I need to get my fix, I have Hunt at home—who I can look at without feeling weird about it. I'm trying my best to not draw attention to myself, but at the end of the day, I like what I like. Can I even control that? I'm not sure.
All I know is that I need to try.