Chapter Seven: Anson

S hould I be more embarrassed that my best friend and my current crush just had a conversation about me exploring Little space? Because right now, I just feel really cared for.

Vince’s protective concern lets me know that I’m loved by someone , even though it’s a platonic love, and Drake’s calm, considered response just makes me feel reassured that no matter what happens tonight, I’m going to be safe and looked after.

The very idea there is someone here to look after me makes my tummy all bubbly.

It strikes me, as that thought processes, that I’m actually starting to feel Little. I can’t quite describe the sensation, other than my brain feeling lighter. Younger. Sillier. Cuter.

And, let me tell you, I was damn cute to begin with, if I do say so myself.

I’m still stuck on how I could have been so oblivious to the signs that I was exploring the wrong side of the kink. Where being a Daddy involved a lot of focus and effort, this slow slide into regression feels as natural as breathing.

I wiggle my toes inside my onesie-covered feet, giggling at the way the fabric makes the bright yellow duckies move. I wiggle my butt, and I can hear the quiet crinkle-swoosh of the diaper underneath rubbing against the material. It is altogether soothing and helps my brain let go of being a grown-up.

After Drake sets my phone down on the timber coffee table, which seems to be made of a log that has been sliced in half lengthways, sanded down, then lacquered to shiny perfection, he points at a big, purple mug with a cartoon elephant embossed on it.

“Your cocoa, sunshine,” he says, and my gaze flies to his as my heart beats rapidly.

“Sunshine?”

“Well, between the blonde hair and your bright and cheerful disposition, I thought it was a nice nickname for a Little,” he explains. After a beat, he cautiously asks, “Is that okay? I just thought you might find it easier to regress if I called you something other than your name. Not that you have to regress! Jesus,” he scrubs a big palm over his face, “you’d think I was the newbie.”

“I like the nickname,” I answer, feeling inexplicably shy about it. Swaying from side to side, I continue, “It helps. I…I want to see how Little I can get. See where I’m most comfortable. I don’t think I’ve got any hard limits. I didn’t really as a Daddy. Um, do you? If…if you’re still okay being my caregiver while I do this?”

We’re going about this all wrong, and I know it. We should have negotiated beforehand, but how was I supposed to know that wearing the outfit and having Vince go into Daddy-mode on the phone would push me into Little space?

“I am so happy to be exploring this with you,” he answers gently. “It’s a privilege that you’re trusting me with this.” Something in the way he says it sounds almost sad, but he keeps talking before I can question him. “I don’t have any hard limits, either. Well, no, that’s a lie. I don’t do CNC or rape play or anything like that, but we’re just doing this as friends, so neither of those would come up any way.”

I nod, but then I pout, and before I can engage what’s left of my brain-to-mouth filter, I’m blurting, “You don’t wanna be more than friends?”

Stunned silence ensues.

My cheeks burn, and I’m still adult enough to realize I’ve royally screwed up. “Shit,” I say as Drake continues to blink at me, “I’m sorry. I—”

“Language.”

Now it’s my turn to blink. “What?”

“You’re Little now, right? Or heading that way?” I nod. “In which case, while I’m your caregiver, you’re not going to swear. When you’re Big, I don’t care, but when you’re Little, it’s a rule.”

I nod, biting my lip. “Sorry,” I apologize instinctively. “I’ll be good.”

“I know,” Drake smiles at me. “You didn’t know the rules. We’ll go through them together, okay? But…” he takes a steadying breath. “Anson, I think we need to keep things platonic for now. This is already a huge deal for you. Do you really want to complicate it with…what? Just sex? A fling?”

I shake my head. “No, I…I don’t want a fling.” Swallowing, I decide to test just how far this ‘safe space’ logic extends. “I want…I want to find someone who wants to be with me for the long-haul. A boyfriend. A partner. A—” my heart races, because I hadn’t known how badly I wanted this until now “—a Daddy. I’ve been so lonely,” my voice cracks and I look down at my feet, trying to keep the tears at bay by distracting myself with the cute duckies, “and I was starting to think the issue was me. And, I guess, in the end it kinda’ was.”

“Anson…”

I close my eyes against the softness in his tone. I don’t want him to pity me.

“Sunshine, come on, look at me.” Taking a deep breath, I do as he says. His dark eyes are warm and sympathetic. He smiles gently. “I’ve had a crush on you since the moment I met you.”

Wait…what?!

Drake keeps talking. “But you were exploring various dominant roles and I figured my internal ‘cute Boy’ radar was off. Wishful thinking or whatever. And that’s okay. I was happy just being your friend. I need you to know that I invited you here as just a friend.”

“I do know that.”

“Yeah, well,” he rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish expression stealing over his handsome face, “it didn’t stop me from thinking that you were giving off Little vibes, even though you said you were a Daddy. That was wrong of me. I realized that when I was talking to Vince. It was disrespectful to not accept that you identified the way you said you did. Because of that, I think you deserve better than me.”

It takes me a minute to do the mental gymnastics to work out what the fuck he’s saying, with my brain feeling sluggish with the pull of regression teasing at my consciousness. Then, once what he said all clicks, I laugh my ass off.

“Are you serious?” I ask him when I’ve caught my breath, still wheezing and wiping my eyes on the back of my hand. “Jesus, Drake. You think I don’t have curious thoughts about people all the time? I do. Everyone does. You’re human . The difference is whether you keep them inside or not. And you did.”

I drop down onto the couch and reach for my mug of lukewarm cocoa, then peer over the top of it. “You did respect me because, even though you picked up on parts of me that I wasn’t aware of, you kept it to yourself. You didn’t interfere with any of my attempted relationships. You didn’t try offering me your opinion or advice. You didn’t even push me into trying on the Little stuff tonight. You’ve been nothing but respectful.” While I wait for that to sink in, I smirk, “And I’ve had a bit of a crush on you, too, but I also thought it was weird for a Daddy-type to want another Daddy.” I blush. “Guess I know what my gut was trying to tell me, huh?”

I finally sip at the drink he made me, relishing the creamy sweetness and warmth as it hits my tongue. It’s all I can do to drink it slowly and not guzzle it down. I don’t want to make myself sick.

Drake is quiet, but he sits down beside me on the couch and watches me while I drink. When I’m finished, he gently takes the mug from my hands and sets it back down on the table next to his untouched drink. Then he reaches for my hands and holds them between his much larger ones.

“So…you want to see where things can go? With me, I mean?” His uncertainty makes him hotter and I can’t explain why.

I nod.

He smiles. “Okay.”

My heart picks up its pace again. “Okay?”

“Yeah. I’d like that. A lot. I’m looking for something long-term, too.”

Elation bubbles up inside me and I let out a whoop of joy, bouncing in my seat. “I am gonna be the best boy for you, Daddy!”