21. Lyra

21

LYRA

I drift in and out of consciousness, my body a throbbing mass of pain. Fragments of memory flash through my mind—the trial, the fall, strong arms catching me. As I slowly regain awareness, I realize I'm in the medical wing. The sterile smell of antiseptic fills my nostrils, and I hear the soft beep of monitoring equipment.

My eyes flutter open, adjusting to the dim light. A figure sits beside my bed, hunched over with his head in his hands. It takes me a moment to recognize Sariel.

"You're awake," he says, his voice rough with exhaustion.

I try to speak, but my throat is dry. Sariel reaches for a glass of water, gently helping me take a sip.

"What happened?" I croak.

Sariel's golden eyes meet mine, filled with an emotion I've never seen in them before—guilt.

"Lyra, I—" He stops, running a hand through his silver-white hair. "I need to tell you something."

I watch as he paces the small room, his wings twitching nervously.

"The final trial," he begins, "it was sabotaged."

My heart sinks. I'd suspected as much, but hearing it confirmed...

"How?" I manage to ask.

Sariel stops pacing, his back to me. "I received orders from my superiors. All the overseers did. We were instructed to ensure that the last trial was a good show." Sighing, he adds, "In fact, I was supposed to let you fall, and I just…" His voice turns thick. "I couldn't."

I struggle to sit up, wincing at the pain. "You knew? All along?"

He turns to face me, his expression tormented. "Yes. I'm sorry, Lyra. I was torn between my duty and... and my feelings for you."

"Your feelings?" I repeat, disbelief coloring my voice.

Sariel moves closer, reaching for my hand. "I never meant for you to get hurt. When I saw you falling, I—" He breaks off, swallowing hard. "I realized I couldn't lose you."

I stare at our joined hands, my mind reeling. "But why? Why go through with the sabotage if you cared?"

"I'm a xaphan, and we are supposed to be loyal to a fault," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't defy orders even if I disagreed with them. But seeing you fight so hard, watching you fall... I couldn't bear it. I realized that there's only one thing that matters to me."

I pull my hand away, anger and hurt warring inside me. "So what now? What happens to the other candidates? To me?"

Sariel's face smooths out like he's trying to hide the emotion there. "There are no other candidates." My stomach drops. "There's only you. And I don't know what they will do now."

I stare at Sariel, my mind reeling from his confession. The weight of his betrayal crashes over me, leaving me breathless. All those hours of training, the pain, the hope—it was all for nothing. A cruel game designed for xaphan entertainment.

"Get out," I whisper, my voice trembling with rage and heartbreak.

Sariel takes a step towards me. "Lyra, please?—"

"I said get out!" I shout, ignoring the pain that flares through my body as I sit up straighter. "How could you? I trusted you!"

He flinches at my words, his golden eyes filled with remorse. But I can't bear to look at him. Every glance reminds me of stolen moments, passionate encounters—all built on lies.

As the door closes behind him, I collapse back onto the bed, hot tears streaming down my face. I think of my family, how I'd promised to make them proud. Now I have nothing to show for my efforts except broken bones and a shattered spirit.

The worst part is that despite everything, a small part of me still yearns for Sariel. I hate myself for it, for being so weak. He played me like a fool, and I fell for it completely.

I close my eyes, trying to shut out the world, but memories of the trials flood my mind. Every challenge, every moment of pride when I succeeded—it was all orchestrated. We were nothing but pawns in their sick game.

The realization that I'm the only survivor hits me hard. All those faces I trained with, laughed with, shared dreams with—gone. And for what? Xaphan entertainment?

I clench my fists, anger replacing my sorrow. How dare they treat us like this? How dare Sariel pretend to care while leading me to my doom?

As I lie there, surrounded by the sterile walls of the medical wing, I make a silent vow. I won't let them break me. Somehow, someway, I'll find to get my damn wings.

I stare at the ceiling, my body aching and my mind in turmoil. Despite the rage burning in my chest, I can't shake the memory of Sariel's touch, the way his golden eyes looked at me with such intensity. It's infuriating how my heart still races when I think of him.

I close my eyes, trying to sort through the mess of emotions. The betrayal cuts deep, but so does the memory of his strong arms catching me as I fell. He saved my life, even though he was supposed to let me die. What am I supposed to do with that?

Every moment we shared replays in my mind. The harsh training sessions where he pushed me to my limits, but always seemed to know exactly how far I could go. The stolen glances, the tension that crackled between us. Was it all just part of the act?

But then I remember the way he held me after our first time together, his wings wrapping around us both. The vulnerability in his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking. Could anyone fake that level of emotion?

I groan in frustration, pressing my palms against my eyes. How can I still feel this pull towards him after what he's done? He lied to me, manipulated me, put me through hell for the entertainment of his people. And yet...

The memory of his voice, thick with emotion as he confessed everything, echoes in my mind. "I couldn't lose you," he'd said. Those words replay over and over, battling against my anger and hurt.

I think about all the times he supported me through the trials. The extra training sessions, the subtle hints he'd drop about what to expect. Was that all part of the sabotage, or was he genuinely trying to help me survive?

My heart and my head are at war. I want to hate him, to never forgive him for his part in this cruel game. But I can't deny the connection we shared, the way he made me feel alive in a way I never had before.

I don't know how long I lay there. But when I hear the door creak open, I tense immediately, knowing it's Sariel before I even look up. His golden eyes meet mine, filled with a mixture of guilt and concern.

"How are you feeling?" he asks softly, hovering near the foot of my bed.

I glare at him. "Like I've been lied to and manipulated. Oh wait, I have."

Sariel winces but doesn't argue. "I am sorry. I thought you deserved to know the truth, Lyra. All of it."

"Then tell me," I demand, sitting up straighter despite the pain. "No more lies, Sariel. What was this all really about?"

He takes a deep breath, his wings rustling nervously. "The trials were never meant for humans to succeed. They're... entertainment for the xaphan."

My stomach churns. "Entertainment? You mean we were just… You just used us?"

"It's more than that," Sariel says, his voice low. "These trials... they're a way to keep your kind hopeful, yet subservient." He swallows. "And to satiate the bloodlust for the xaphan and demons. It's supposed to keep everyone in their…place."

I feel like I've been punched in the gut. "So all those promises of wings, of a better life... it was all just fucking lies?"

Sariel nods, unable to meet my eyes. "The trials were designed to be impossible. We change the rules, add new obstacles, anything to ensure no human ever succeeds."

"But why?" I ask, my voice cracking. "Why give us hope only to crush it?"

"Control," Sariel replies, his tone bitter. "As long as humans believe they have a chance to become like us, they'll never revolt. They'll keep striving, keep failing, and the xaphan maintain their power."

I shake my head, tears stinging my eyes. "And you went along with this? You watched us struggle, suffer, die... for what? Your sick amusement?"

Sariel moves closer, his expression pained. "At first, yes. I didn't care about humans. But then I met you, Lyra. You changed everything."

I want to believe him, but the hurt is too fresh. "How can I trust anything you say now?"

He looks at me with such utter devastation that for a moment, I'm shocked. And then quietly he says, "I guess you can't. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. To save you. To protect. You are the only thing that matters to me, Lyra."

And I swear he rips my heart out of my chest with those words.