18. Aria

My stomach is ravenous, but after a few bites of soup and bread, it's also revolting after going so long without food. I push the tray away just as my door opens and Niko walks in.

"Lasciaci. Leave us," he says to Roberta.

She turns to me, and I'm struck that she seems to be looking at me for her next order instead of listening to my brother. I've never been in this situation before.

I nod. "Va bene," I say to let her know it's okay.

"Mangia," she says with a last glance to me before leaving the room.

Niko pulls a chair over and sits. "She's right. You need to eat.

"I am… I just… my stomach needs me to eat slowly."

Silence follows, growing between us. There's emotion radiating off him.

"You could have died." His voice is tight.

"I could say that about you all the time."

"It's not the same." He lets out a frustrated growl. "I don't care what Luca says. As soon as you have your strength back, you're coming home."

I look down at my food. I'm not so sure I want to leave, but saying so will only prove his belief that I'm immature and don't know what I want. Even if he's right, I still should be able to make my own decisions. Although, he'd argue that my last decision nearly got me killed.

"I can't talk about this now." I set the tray aside.

"There's nothing to talk about, anyway. I'll make the arrangements, but you're strong, Aria. We'll leave in two days, three max." He stands. "Keep it to yourself, though. I don't want more hassle from Luca."

I frown. "That's it? You're going to order me around?"

He puts his hands on his hips. "You don't want to stay, do you? Not after everything that's happened."

"You do know that Lou held a gun on me, Elena, and Lucy, right? It's not like scary shit hasn't happened to me around you."

He shakes his head. "Look, you don't feel well. When you're better?—"

"When I'm better, what? You'll send me home and lock me away? Or maybe you'll send me to some remote place in France or England. If you're going to lock me up, I'd much rather that."

"What is wrong with you? Did you get hit on the head?"

"So now having an opinion on my own life is the result of a head injury? Do you know how insulting that is?"

He stares at me like I've gone mad.

"What do you care, anyway?"

He gapes. "I beg your pardon. I've done nothing but look out for you since you were ten."

"Right. Look out for me. You shipped me off the first chance you got. First to boarding school, then college. Then?—"

"You had a good life."

I nod. "Oh, sure. Money. Fun. But no friends. No family." I shake my head. "If I hadn't come home, I'd have never known you were married. Not known about the twins."

At first he looks like he's going to deny it. "That was an unusual situation."

"Your life—this life—is an unusual situation. One where you ship me off for my quote-unquote safety. But really, it gets me out of your hair. You should have been happy that I left. You can live your life and not think of me… deal with me."

He sighs and sits down. "That's not true, Aria. I love you."

"How would I know that?"

He takes my hand. "I'm sorry you feel abandoned. That wasn't my intention. When you get home, I'll do better. I promise."

I pull my hand away. "You don't need to wait for me."

"Of course I'll wait."

I turn over in bed, away from him. "I don't want you to."

"So, you want to stay here? With the man you not so long ago begged me to get you away from?"

"I don't know what I want, but I do know that I don't want you bossing me around. I don't want you making decisions for me that are simply convenient for you and your happy little family. Go away." I'm so tired. I want to go back to that netherworld where I drift in oblivion.

"I'll send for you when you're feeling better. We can discuss your future when you're home."

I ignore him. When the door closes, I relax and will the darkness to come. Moments later, the door opens again.

"Go away, Niko."

"It's Luca." A moment later, he's lying behind me, spooning his body around mine. "Rest, Mio Angelo."

I settle against him and give in to sleep.

Niko left.That's what I learn later that night when I wake, still in Luca's arms. I want to keep emotional distance from Luca, but it's not easy. When I first got here, I barely saw the man. Now I can't do anything without him hovering like I'm fragile glass. It's annoying, and yet at the same time, sweet.

When I sleep, Luca works, apparently in a room next door with a monitor so he knows when I wake. Except at night, when he comes into my room and holds me. Our quiet night time conversations remind me of the times we spent in New York. Of the letters we secretly exchanged. But I understand now that while this is one side of Luca, he has many facets, and I can't let myself start dreaming of a fairy tale.

For the next few days, I rest and slowly get stronger.

Three days after Niko leaves, it's the evening and I'm sitting in the window seat reading before bed.

Roberta enters my room, handing me a phone. "Lucia," she says.

"Lucy?" I take the phone, excited to talk to her. "Hello."

"Aria? It's Lucia. Are you okay?"

"Yes. Getting better every day."

"You're on speakerphone. Elena and Kate are here too."

"Hello, Aria," Elena and Kate say.

Tears form. Happy tears at hearing their voices. For a moment, I think I should have had Niko wait and take me home. While I'm not eager to have him boss me around, I do miss my friends.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask.

"Hell no," Lucia says. "But we are worried. Niko seems to think you might be brainwashed or something by Luca."

I roll my eyes. "I'm not brainwashed."

"Is it love?" Elena asks. "Love can brainwash you sometimes."

"My thinking was wonky about Liam for sure."

I smile, missing them more, and happy that they understand. "I guess it is. Which isn't to say that I'll be here forever. I just… Niko won't let me make decisions?—"

"And Luca will?"

"Yes." He had said he would before. Over the last few days, he didn't do anything to suggest that he would force me to stay. He didn't talk about the wedding or a future together. At the same time, the way he looked at me, held me, suggested that he wanted me to stay.

"Luca is a good man." Lucia's comment is more to Elena and Kate, I think. To eliminate their concerns. "But if you want to come home, I'll arrange it. Not Niko. And you can stay with me and Donovan."

"Aria, do you really feel Niko abandoned you?" Elena asks gently.

I choose my words carefully. "He was there financially and if I needed protection, but not emotionally. He never told me he was getting married or having kids. I still wouldn't know about it if I hadn't shown up. I know he loves me, but he doesn't want me around."

"That's not true, Ari." Elena is forceful in her statement. "You have to remember, he was young when you lost your mother and brother. He may have wanted you out of the way so he didn't have to worry about you while he… worked."

Anger brews. "You mean exact revenge? For fifteen years?"

"I'm not saying what he did was right, but it came from a good place."

I shrug her words off even though she can't see me. "Well, I'm safe, if that's your concern. I'm going to figure things out here."

"Just remember, you can come home," Lucy said. "We have lots of room at our place."

When the call ends, I go to hand the phone back to Roberta. She shakes her head. "Yours."

I arch a brow. "Are you learning English?"

She gives me a small smile. "A little."

I look at the phone. "Does Luca know?"

The door opens. "Do I know what?" Luca walks in.

I hold up the phone. "She said I could keep the phone."

His smile is soft, hopeful. "I'd planned to give it to you on our… well… I'd planned to return it." He nods to Roberta, who takes it as a signal to leave.

"It's getting late. Are you tired?" he asks.

I nod. "I'll be back." I go to the bathroom, changing into pajamas and doing my nighttime routine, skincare and brushing my teeth.

When I return, he's lying in the bed. He hasn't asked me to move into his room, but he's here with me every night. I'm confused by our arrangement. I feel that he wants me, and yet, there"s so much I don't know.

I slip into bed, savoring the feel of him as he spoons his body around mine.

"Why did you invite me here?"

"You know why."

I turn over, looking at him. "I don't know. You could be using me to gain an advantage with Niko, or to get back at him."

His expression is pained as he pushes my hair back, hooking it over my ear. "No, MioAngelo. It's always been you. I tried to do it the right way, asking Niko for permission to marry you, but he said no."

I frown. I know Luca said something about this before, but what is Niko's problem with Luca? It doesn't make sense.

"I left, but I knew I'd never be able to let you go, so I arranged the notes. And you came to me."

I smile. Those times were filled with dreams. But real life is different. More complicated. Messy.

"But you wanted to marry because of Niko's?—"

"No. I wanted to marry you always. The hurry to get it done was because of Niko." He sighs. "But you don't want me, and I'll still honor my agreement to let you go."

I look into his dark eyes, seeing the Luca I fell in love with. "What about Electra?"

He jerks back. "What? How do you know about her?"

His question makes me think he wanted to keep her a secret. "There's a picture of you two. When I asked about it, I was told she's your mistress."

"Oh, Mio Angelo. Is that why you left?"

I nod.

He gives me a soft laugh. "I won't deny that I've had relations with her, but she's not my mistress. Not since I met you."

"But all the other wives say their husbands have them."

He looks at me with amusement. "I'm not like them. I have thought of no woman since I met you, haven't slept with a woman since I met you. You've captured my soul."

Can I believe him? I have to if I want a love anywhere close to what my brother has with Elena. Or Lucy has with Donovan. I think of Kate, who took the biggest risk of all in loving Liam. Could I do the same?

I look down as all my thoughts scramble for attention. His finger hooks under my chin and lifts my head to look at him.

"I hope you'll stay. And if you do, I ask that you talk to me when you have questions. I won't lie to you, Aria. That I promise."

I nod, wanting more than anything for him to be speaking the truth.

"Is there more that concerns you?"

"My brother is a pain in the ass, but he's my only family. Blood family, anyway. I don't want to have to choose."

He sucks in a breath. "I will not be the one who makes you choose, but I can't say what he will do. And… I don't think I can ever go to New York. After what just happened, it will be difficult for me to let you go anywhere without me."

There is some machismo in his answer, and yet, I can also see the sincere concern for me in his eyes. It's not just his ego at stake if something happens to me by a rival Family.

"I understand it will be difficult. We'll have to figure something out."

His fingers brush along my cheek. "Does this mean you're going to stay? At least for now?"

"At least for now." My gaze drifts to his lips, and I'm filled with a need to have him kiss me. "In America, this is where we kiss and make up."

He smiles. "Just kiss?"

"Kiss me, and we'll see what happens."

His lips are soft and gentle on mine. Then he tugs me close and holds me. I get the feeling he's not planning to do more.

I push him back and straddle him.

He arches a brow as he looks up at me. "What are you doing?"

"Kissing and making up." I lean over and kiss him. I turn up the heat on it until he groans.

"You're not fully rested?—"

"I'm rested enough. I want you. Are you going to help me or do I need to do it myself?"

Heat flashes in his eyes. "I'd like to see you pleasure yourself, Mio Angelo."

Okay, so that would be embarrassing. "I meant I'd take control and use your body."

He laughs. "I'd like that too."

I fumble at his clothes until he's naked. It's not easy because he's tugging at my clothes, and then sucking, touching me as my skin is exposed. It's distracting. But finally, I'm straddled over him, rubbing my hands over his broad chest and lower. Feeling his muscles tighten as my fingers brush down. Watching as his dick twitches of its own accord.

"Will you tell me what to do?" I'm a little self-conscious about my lack of experience, but I trust Luca to not laugh or make me feel embarrassed.

He sits up, his fingers running along my neck to the nape and then threading into my hair. "There is no need to teach. Pleasures of the flesh are all about doing what feels good. What do you want to do?"

I rub my pussy over his dick. He lets out a small growl. "See, you know what to do." He kisses me, his lips trailing down until he licks my nipple.

"Oh!" I rock, his dick sliding over my clit. But I want more. Need more. I rise over him. "Luca."

"Si, Mio Angelo." His hand settles on my hip, guiding me until I feel his velvety tip at my pussy. I lower down, taking him inside me. He fills me, expands inside me. It's so deliciously sensual. His face buries along my neck. "So good, Mio Angelo. Yes?"

"Yes," I agree as I slide up and then down again. I close my eyes, savoring the flood of fire and electricity coursing through my body.

He lies back, and I do it again, up, down, forward, back.

"You're so beautiful."

His words fill me in another way. Emotion blooms in my chest.

"Ride me, Aria. Make me come." His hands slide up and down my thighs and then up my belly to my breasts. He pinches my nipples. I cry out at the shock of arousal that shoots to my pussy.

"Oh, God, Luca." I lean forward, resting my hand on his chest to gain purchase. My hips move to a rhythm my desire sets. Faster, harder… I'm gasping for breath.

"Yes… right there." He arches, sliding deeper still.

I feel wild, careening out of control to the edge until I'm there. I rock, and his body pulses inside me, hitting a spot that sends me flying.

"Oh, fuck… Yes, Aria." He lets out a long, feral moan. His dick is so hard, I can feel the ridges of him. It makes me come again, or maybe it's the same orgasm. I don't know. All I know is that it's so, so good. Even when my muscles give out and I collapse over him, my pussy pulses. His dick throbs.

His arms wrap around me, hold me like he'll never let me go. And I don't want him to. Not ever.