Chapter 50

CHAPTER FIFTY

MAEVYTH

A n ache pulsed in my temple, and I winced, digging my fingers into the pain. With a yawn and a cat-like stretch, my bones popped, and I rolled onto my back. Pain bit into my thighs, and I lifted my head to find my undergarments stretched between them, as if I’d pulled them down at some point in the night.

A dampness beneath me had me patting the bed, and I gasped. Had I pissed myself in the night? I yanked up the undergarments and sniffed my hand, not catching the faintest whiff of piss, but instead, a sweet, heady scent. One I knew intimately from the nights I’d touched myself.

My mind wound back to the night before. The last thing I remembered was jumping on the bed with Aleysia, followed by an intense feeling of exhaustion. Had I fainted, or fallen asleep? Surely, I wouldn’t have touched myself while completely unconscious … but I couldn’t recall a single moment.

A thought crossed my mind, something Rykaia had said about locking my door, so as not to rouse any of the men in the house. I focused on any pain between my thighs that might’ve indicated that I’d been violated in any way, but there was nothing. No ache. No pain. Nothing but an overwhelming sense of relaxation, as if I’d slept for two days straight.

I sat up from the bed, noting the mirror across from me that’d cracked as though something had been thrown at it. Candles lay toppled on the table beside my bed, the dried wax spilling over the edge while not quite touching the floor. Feathers lay strewn about the room … and I did vaguely recall swinging pillows at Rykaia.

God, what had we done?

I pushed out of bed and straightened the candles upright. Gathering the feathers on the floor felt like chasing after a gust of wind, as they blew around my hands with every movement I made, but I managed to wrangle most of the mess into a pile that I gathered into a wicker basket beside the settee. Pausing in front of the mirror, I ran my finger down the ominous crack and wondered how it’d gotten there.

In the bathing room, I made my way to the elaborate chamber pot, the narrow walls closing me in as I shut the door behind me. For all the ancient details that Eidolon held, I was impressed by the modern plumbing. In place of the chain I’d typically have to pull to flush back home, this one had an ornate brass lever that hardly made a sound when depressed.

Once finished relieving myself, I undressed and bathed, then donned my training gear. And after a quick breakfast of milky oats, I made my way to the training room, only to find Zevander wasn’t there.

Again.

Disappointed, I headed toward the castle’s library and, along the way, found Rykaia sprawled out on a velvet couch in one of the parlors, eating an apple. The moment her eyes found me, a wily smile lit her face.

“How did you sleep, Bellitula ?” she asked, clearly amused with herself.

“Fairly well, though I don’t remember most of the night.”

“You’re kidding. You didn’t touch yourself, at all?”

An unbidden visual of writhing on the bed to the sound of Zevander’s voice in my ear flashed through my head. “If I did, I don’t remember.”

“Gods, what a waste. That’s the whole point of Ambrozhyr. Memorable orgasms.”

“Well, maybe it’s different for mortals. Have you seen Zevander?”

“He rode to Costelwick early this morning with the other Letalisz. Tonight is Princess Calisza’s Becoming, if you’ll recall.” She raised her brow, clearly anticipating an argument from me.

Tension wound in my stomach at the thought of betraying Zevander, sneaking behind his back. “About that … I don’t know–”

“Stop. You have a dress. You’re going.”

“We were nearly discovered the last time you tried to hide my face in public.”

She tore off another bite of the apple, staring back at me as she crunched it between her teeth and swallowed it back. “As I already told you, I don’t have to disguise you that way this time. Everyone will be wearing a mask.”

“What if he sees me there? He won’t be happy.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “In that dress? I think he’ll be quite happy to see you, no matter what he tells himself.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, I think my brother is smitten with you.” She’d made a similar comment the night before, and still, my skin flushed anew as if it were the first mention.

“You’re wrong. He’s been avoiding me all week.”

“Exactly. Zevander doesn’t avoid any thing unless he’s frustrated by said thing .”

“That doesn’t sound like attraction to me. It sounds like annoyance.”

She sat upright and chomped into the end of the apple, forcing me to wait until she swallowed it. “Right, so, normal individuals fawn and flirt when they like someone. My brother, on the other hand, acts as if he’s positively repelled.”

Frowning, I shook my head. “That makes no sense.”

“Well, given that he kills people for a living, has enemies all over Aethyria, and was trained to shun affection from women, it stands to reason, I think.”

When she put it that way, I supposed it did.

“I don’t think he knows what to do with you, Maevyth.” She sighed. “Which is why I think you should go tonight. It’ll force him to decide if he’s your protector, or your enemy.”

“I don’t want to force him to decide anything.”

“Then, go for me? I don’t want to be alone in that crowd. The wealthy give me hives.”

“So, why go? What could possibly be so important about this ceremony that you’d risk being seen there?”

Her eyes lit up. “Because Circ’Lunae will be there, and I haven’t seen them since I was a young girl.”

“What is that?”

“You’ll see. When you accompany me in your scintillating black dress. Now run along, little mouse, and examine your dull pile of bones with Dolion and the intruder.” She waved me on. “I shall find you later this evening.”

I n the library, I found Dolion and Allura hunched over piles of scrolls and books, as usual. The bones sat in two mounds, one of which was separated further into sets that Allura had determined belonged to different people.

As I approached, Dolion removed his spectacles. “Good morning. You’re a bit early today.”

“Zevander missed training again.” I cringed at the somber tone of my voice.

“Hmm. That makes four times in the last week. Has he taught you anything new?”

“Nothing as of late.”

“I suspect he’s distancing himself a bit.” Dolion’s puzzling words stuck in my head, as he waved to the seat across from him. “Sit. I need to speak with you about something.”

For the briefest moment, I thought he planned to chide me for drinking with Rykaia the night before, until I remembered it wasn’t Foxglove, nor Grandfather Bronwick’s waning supply of morumberry wine. Nor Aleysia. The rules I’d grown up with didn’t exist here, and I wouldn’t be subjected to punishment simply for being silly. I sat down as he’d asked, entwining my fingers.

“I’m leaving for Calyxar this evening. And … you’ll be coming with me.”

“Calyxar? Is that a village?”

“It’s an island, in the south.” He nodded toward Allura. “The land of our people.”

Wariness settled over me at the thought of traveling to somewhere I presumed to be even farther away from my sister. “And what about Zevander?”

“He agreed to let me take you. A precaution, as there seems to be quite a bit of unrest in Costelwick. Although, that also makes it the perfect opportunity to slip away unnoticed.”

“He agreed to this?” It felt like a betrayal that he’d gone behind my back to discuss these plans.

“Very much. He longs to do what’s best for you.”

“I see.” I turned my attention to Allura. “And will you accompany us?”

Lips tight, she shook her head. “I’m afraid not. I must return to the House of Sages to continue my studies.”

“So … it’ll just be the two of us.”

“Yes. Which is best. We’ll draw less attention that way.”

“And … what about my sister? What about returning to Mortasia?”

Dolion scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t think that’s wise, Maevyth.”

“But … you promised. You promised that, if I learned how to use my powers, you would personally escort me back to the woods.” With a quickening anger, I clenched my fists. “You lied to me.”

“I did not lie. You haven’t even begun to learn your major glyphs. There are scholars in Calyxar, the most brilliant minds in Aethyria, who may be able to shed light on some of these.”

“I don’t care about glyphs!” I slammed my fist against the table, knocking the bones out of their piles. “I don’t care about anything but my sister right now. She is the only family I have, Dolion. The only piece of my world that I care to keep.”

“Forgive me, but I will not escort you into danger. There are ruthless mages that long to turn your blood to stone, Maevyth. Should they find you–”

“I’m not going to Calyxar. I’m not giving up on my sister.” I pushed to my feet and stormed out of the library, my blood seething with anger. While the rational half of me understood Dolion’s intentions, or at least thought I did, the other side couldn’t allow him to sweep me away to an island in the middle of nowhere. Studying the glyphs and old bones and learning my powers meant little to me while the fate of my sister remained unknown.

Up the staircase and down the corridor, I found myself standing before Rykaia’s room.

I knocked on the door.

With a goblet in hand, she smiled. “Change your mind about going?”

My muscles still shook with anger. “Will there be mages there?”

“Yes. Of course. The king’s mages are expected to be in attendance.”

“And just how do you plan to fool the king’s mages? What tricks do you have that will keep me veiled from those who want to turn my blood to stone?”

She leaned against the doorframe, her expression more serious than before. “You’ll be masked. Your scent. Your face. Your aura. They won’t know you from any other Lunasier.”

“You promise. This is entirely foolproof.”

“Well, nothing’s entirely foolproof, but I would not endeavor to put you in danger.”

It was a foolish plan, but I had other motives driving my thoughts. Motives that were worth the risk. If I stayed, I’d be shipped off to an island, farther away from my sister. “I’ll go with you on one condition.”

“Yes?”

“You help me get back to the woods.”

She huffed. “No deal.” Sipping her drink, she sauntered off into her room, taking a seat in front of the burning hearth.

“What do you mean, no deal?” I asked, following after her. “I’m offering to go with you. I’ll stay with you. And then you’ll cleave me to the woods.”

“Are you serious? You can just … leave? Everything?” Her eyes flickered, as if wounded by the suggestion.

“I’ve told you from the start what was important to me.”

“Yes, you did, Maevyth. You’ve absolutely made that clear.” Jaw set to a stubborn angle, she pressed her lips together. “I’m not taking you.”

Vision wobbling with tears, I sat down in the chair across from her, both of us watching the fire. “I can’t give up on her, Rykaia. I won’t. I have this strange and nagging sense that she’s still alive. It’s difficult to explain, but … I need to return to her.”

Jaw tight, she kept her eyes fixed on the flame, not bothering to respond.

I sighed, hands fidgeting in my lap. “You don’t want me to leave. I know that’s why you’ve been playing matchmaker with Zevander and me.”

“Do not ask me to do this, Maevyth. Do not ask me to do this.”

“I have no one else to ask. Everyone seems to have some reason to keep me here, but you’re all forgetting this isn’t my home.”

“This is your home!” she snapped, quickly looking away. “You’ve said it before, your home is cruel and punishing. You came here for a reason, Maevyth. It’s your fate. There’s a plan for you.”

“It’s not my fate!” That time, I was the one who snapped. “I don’t believe in fate. It’s done nothing but curse me my entire life. So, forgive me if I don’t give a damn about what it has planned for me.”

“I have a million reasons, myself, but I believe. And if you think I’m letting you saunter off and risk that you’ll never come back, you’ve underestimated just how much of a bitch I can be.” Eyes watering, lips peeled back into a snarl, she looked away.

“Once I find my sister, I promise you, I’ll return.”

“That is a promise you cannot keep. And what if your gut feeling is wrong?”

“Rykaia, look. I understand–”

“You don’t understand. You will never understand. Because you can’t.” She swiped at her cheek, as though embarrassed by her tears. “I have the power to take every sad day you’ve ever had and turn them into nothing more than a distant dream for you. Yet, I cannot share my pain with you. I cannot show you what horrible things live inside me. Things I have to live with—” Lips slammed shut, she swallowed hard, but the quiver in her chin belied her efforts to fight back the emotions. “But since you’ve been here, I feel less burdened by them. So, do not ask me to do this. I cannot be the one to see you off, because the moment you leave is when my hell begins again.” She shook her head. “And I don’t care if that’s selfish of me to say.”

An ache bloomed in my chest. I knew the loneliness, the panic of losing someone in the darkness. I’d felt it in a literal sense as I’d chased after Aleysia that night in the woods, and again when I’d crossed over without her. Like a chunk of my heart had been torn away.

Across the gap that separated us, I reached for her hand. “Tell me what horrible things you’ve suffered. And I will do my best to take some of the pain.”

Her face twisted in anguish, and she lowered her gaze. The heartrending sound of her weeping pulled at my ribs. I slid from my chair and fell to my knees in front of her, drawing her in as I wrapped my arms around her. At first, she didn’t move, but then I felt her clutch my arms as if she were clinging to a lifeline.

“Every night I close my eyes, all I see …” She choked on a sob, her fingers digging into me as she pulled me tighter.

“Tell me, Rykaia.”

“I see … the horrible things they did to her. My beautiful mother. They forced me to hold her hand through it all. And I felt everything she felt. The fear. The humiliation. The hopelessness.” Her body shook against me, and I blinked back my own tears, refusing to let her go. “I tried to block it out, but I couldn’t. It was all I could feel.” Another sob wracked her body, her tears wet on my shoulder. “I felt the apology. She apologized to me while they destroyed her. While they tore into her without a shred of remorse. Until I finally felt her life fade. I was holding her hand when she died.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as she told me her story. Although I didn’t have the power to absorb pain and suffering, like Rykaia, I felt her anguish pulsing through me in the tremble of her muscles, the tightness of her clutch, and the suffering of every word. I held her through the tears–the hot, angry tears, and the quietly soft ones too.

When she finally loosened her grip, she sat back, her eyes red and lost, as if she were trapped in another time. “It was Branimir who kept them from hurting me, too. They tore away my clothes, and they promised worse than what my mother suffered.” She spoke in a flat tone, as if relaying someone else’s experience. Completely devoid of emotion. “Have you ever been afraid of monsters?”

“Sometimes, yes.”

“I had no idea the kind of monster that lived inside my brother, until I watched him and his spiders feast on those soldiers alive.”

My blood turned cold. “He consumed them? Alive?”

“He made sport of it first. His … creatures formed webs around them so there was no escape. It was well into the night by the time the last one stopped screaming. There was so much blood. Rivers of blood that crawled toward me as I lay hidden beneath the bed. I don’t want to fear my brother, but … what he did was–”

“Terrible and frightening.” I squeezed her hand, emphasizing my point. “But what they had planned for you was so much worse. He protected you, Rykaia.”

“At what cost?” Lips quivering, she shook her head, and I realized her torment was thinking she’d turned him into what he was. “I avoided touching him afterward because I knew there was nothing there to absorb. An empty shell whose insides had turned to rot. Because of me.”

“Not because of you. And there’s still something good in Branimir.”

She stared off for a moment and wiped at her eyes again. “As I understand, it was a Solassion who won the tournament. A soldier who’ll take Calisza’s innocence at the ceremony.” Wincing, she shook her head. “Perhaps that’s why Zevander felt the need to keep me away, but he doesn’t understand. He’s never known the feeling of being in a room full of complete strangers who are all imagining you entangled with some beastly creature that happened to win the right. It’s terrifying and lonely and Calisza doesn’t have a mother to calm her. She has nothing but the men who are relying on her to fulfill her duty without question.” Her brow twitched as if she might break into more tears. “I’m well acquainted with the brutal nature of Solassion soldiers. They’ll carouse and laugh, like everything is sport. They’ll be far gentler and respectful than they were with my mother, of course, but in the end, they’ll still take.” She paused for a moment, brows pinched to a frown. “You asked why it’s so important for me to be there. This is why. I want her to know I’m there and that she’s not alone. But I don’t want to go alone, either.”

I pushed to my feet, my head wound up chaos as I sat back in the chair across from her. In the silence, I felt her rest her hand atop of mine and I turned to see her eyes brimming with tears again.

“I promise. I’ll take you to the woods after.”