Chapter 17

CHAPTER17

Anthony took hold of Susanna’s hand, helping her inside. The moment her hand was in his, that thrill was back.

I’m discovering this is where we both belong, like this…

The thought coursed through him with certainty as Susanna climbed inside, and he hurried to close the window behind her.

“Were you seen?” he asked.

“No. And you mother?”

“Gone to bed,” he explained. “About today…” He crossed toward Susanna, aware that she was staring at the painting he had done of her. Needing her attention, he moved to her side and lifted a hand, lowering the hood of her pelisse from her head so that he could see her clearly. When his fingers brushed her hair, he grew distracted, winding his fingers in those locks.

Susanna closed her eyes and tilted her head as if indulging in that touch. The mere sight of that pleasure made something in Anthony’s gut yearn for her.

Oh, Susanna, it is impossible to resist you.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I never thought my mother would be quite as bad as she was.”

“Do not apologize.” Susanna’s eyes opened again, finding his gaze with her own. “I come to see you, not her.”

Anthony couldn’t resist her at those words. He moved toward her, quickly placing his lips to hers. When she moved toward him, her body cradled against his own, he felt his body stir for her, his desire all encompassing.

With his palms resting on the top curve of her hips, his touch was gentle at first until he felt Susanna nibble playfully on his bottom lip then his touch became firm. Deepening the kiss, he dominated it for a moment, playing with her tongue as he had done the night before.

When their lips parted, with his hands still on her hips and her fingers clutching to his lapels, they were both breathless.

“It’s easy to forget the world when we are like this,” she whispered.

“I know what you mean.” His voice was deep. He had first invited Susanna here tonight for a chance to be alone with her, but now, he longed for so much more, and judging by the way her body was curving against his own, she wanted the same thing. “Shall we forget the world completely tonight?” he asked.

“All of it?” Susanna’s smile was playful as he moved back from her an inch, placing soft kisses to her cheek and her forehead.

“All of it,” he confirmed. “No talk of my mother, propriety, any of it. Just me and you, tonight.”

Her hands curled around his lapels a little more, pulling him into her.

“You persuaded me,” she said with a soft giggle before pressing her lips to his another time.

Anthony lost himself in that kiss. He thought of only the pleasure of her lips against his own, the thrill that coursed through him, and the thudding of his heartbeat that had grown so strong he feared she would hear it as easily as he could.

When her hands reached up for his tailcoat, he eagerly went to help her. It was slipped down to the floor, followed quickly by his waistcoat that Susanna pulled so quickly apart some of the buttons might have popped off. He didn’t care. He would find an excuse for its state to his valet tomorrow.

When his cravat and shirt followed, Anthony found his torso quickly bare, and Susanna’s hands ran over him, exploring him. He growled into their kiss and moved them toward the chaise longue on the far side of the studio.

He pulled her down to the chaise longue with him, pressing their bodies together. She molded to his shape perfectly, her breasts flattened to his chest. The mere press of her body sent Anthony wild.

He had known attraction before, but he knew by this point that what he felt for Susanna could not be described so easily. It was more than that, infinitely more, to the point that as she kissed him with her knees straddling his hips and him urging her gown up around her own hips, he didn’t want this to end.

When her gown was gathered high, Susanna separated from his kiss, just an inch, rocking back slightly with her hands on his shoulders so that he could see her face. A delectable blush had spread across the top of her cheeks, and her full lips were parted as she breathed.

He held her gaze as his hand went wandering, at first touching her lightly across the top of her thigh and then reaching for her core between her legs. The first touch was a brief one, just a tease and a reminder of what they had shared the night before. The breathy moan that escaped Susanna’s lips urged him on, and he soon entered her with his fingers, pleasuring her.

When she rocked against his hand, clearly wanting more, Anthony grew bolder. All he wanted was to give her that pleasure, for it sent him to new heights, knowing he was the one to make her feel such a way. Soon, she was clammy, her cheeks bright red, and rocking toward his hips so much that it mimicked what the two of them could be doing together.

If only…

Still, Anthony had a line. He would not make love to Susanna without asking her to marry him first, and he had not asked her.

Yet.

Susanna stilled. The suddenness of the movement made his brows quirk, not wanting this moment to stop.

“Together,” she whispered. One of her hands drew down the center of his bare chest, reaching for the fastening of his pantaloons.

“Susanna, we can’t…”

“Not that,” she murmured playfully then pressed a kiss to his neck. “But we could still explore together.”

Understanding what she meant, Anthony found himself leaning back, longing to know what her touch could be like. He released her momentarily, allowing her the space to reach for his pantaloons with both hands and undo them. Then, she slipped them down his hips and his legs.

When his length was revealed, he could see the surprise on her face, with her lips parting wider.

“Show me what to do,” she whispered.

Anthony had to hold back his growl of desire, for it burned within him. Gently, he took hold of her hand and lowered her fingers down toward him. The first touch had him tilting his head back, startled at the power she had over him. When she began to move, he lost himself in that touch, so bewildered by the pleasure that he shuddered.

Soon, he returned his hand to her. They pleasured each other at the same time, their gazes meeting and not once breaking.

When he could see Susanna was reaching her end, that peak nearing evident on her face judging by the way she panted and the redness of her cheeks, Anthony moved their position. He rolled the two of them over so that Susanna was on her back against the chaise longue, and he was above her. The new position allowed him a better access to her, pleasuring her as her hand curled around him all the more.

When she reached her end, it sent him over the edge. He was aware of her muffled moan as he quivered, feeling his release happen. It was sudden and uncontrollable, leaving him breathless as he stared back at Susanna.

For a minute, the two of them held themselves in position, their hands still on each other as they tried to catch their breaths.

“I rather like…” she panted between her words, “forgetting the world with you.” He laughed warmly, loving the moment.

“We could just stay here and pretend it didn’t exist at all.” He suggested as they gradually removed their hands from each other. She laughed too as he reached for his discarded tailcoat on the floor. Inside the pocket, he pulled out a handkerchief and cleared up the mess he had made. She giggled as he dried the mess from her hand and the tops of her thighs.

“It makes me wonder what it could be like, you know?” she whispered

“What?”

“To know each other completely.”

At her words, he stilled, feeling the desire burning within him.

“I wonder too.” His voice deepened as he bent down toward her and kissed her. It started gentle, their lips moving together sensually before it grew until she dominated the kiss, taking control of his tongue. When they parted, he rested his forehead against hers.

Not yet. When I make love to her, it will be when I know we can be together, without having to hide.

“Would you stay the night again?” he asked gently. Her hands reached up and caressed the backs of his bare shoulders and drifted down to his waist. That touch made him shiver with delight.

“If you wish.”

He turned the two of them so that they were side by side on the chaise longue, their arms looped around each other.

This. This is the life that I want.

* * *

Susanna laid in Anthony’s arms for some time. The pocket watch she could see resting on the easel betrayed the time as the early hours of the morning though the sun had not yet risen. She needed to leave, soon, eager to do so before his mother could possibly wake and before Agnes could too back home.

Yet, Susanna was finding it difficult to move. The entire night she and Anthony had stayed on the chaise longue, asleep, with one another’s arms wrapped tightly around each other. Anthony’s arm was slung across Susanna’s waist, and as he breathed in and out, his fingers would lazily brush her back.

I should tell him the truth of how I feel.

The thought came quickly. She needed Anthony to know what she truly felt.

I love him.

Yet the thought of uttering the words scared her. She couldn’t help fearing that he might not say it back. It was still possible that though Anthony cared for her — that was plain — it might not be as greatly as she cared for him.

“Anthony?” she whispered.

“Hmm?” He stirred in his sleep at her soft mumble, his head nearing hers. “Do not say you have to leave.”

“I do.” She sighed with the words. His hand tightened across her waist a little.

“I wish you could stay.”

“As do I.” She breathed deeply, trying to find the courage to speak. “Anthony…”

“Yes?”

“I…” This was her opportunity to say it. She had the chance to speak her mind, to tell him that she loved him. His eyes opened, and his gaze found her own. With that look, her confidence died, and the words on her lips vanished too.

I will save the words for another time.

“I really do need to go,” she said eventually.

He smiled rather sadly and moved, allowing her to stand up. Susanna dressed fully as Anthony reached for his shirt from the floor and pulled it down over his chest.

To Susanna’s surprise, when she went to climb out of the window, he followed her.

“What are you doing? What if you are seen?” she whispered, her voice panicked.

“No one will see me when it is this dark.” He took her hand and led her around the house, heading for the stable yard. His fingers entwined in her own made Susanna grip his hand all the more.

When they reached the stable, the stable boys had not yet risen, so Anthony saddled the mare himself. Once the horse was ready, he brought it forward for Susanna to take.

“Let me ride with you.”

“What? You cannot.” Susanna dismissed the idea quickly.

“I do not like the idea of you riding alone at this time of night.”

“It is morning.”

“Barely!” He motioned out of the stable door. “The sun has not yet risen.”

“Do you forget how we met?” Susanna asked with a laugh.

“Riding wildly through the forest.”

“Unaccompanied,” Susanna reminded him. Anthony smiled a little and nodded.

“I know you are very capable of riding alone, put it down to my protectiveness.”

“I rather like you being protective.” She confessed then lifted herself onto her toes to kiss him. The kiss was soft and sensual. “But trust me, I can ride home alone.”

“Very well.” He sighed and stepped back, offering his hand to help her onto the horse. “I will still write to you come daytime to check you have arrived well.”

“That hardly surprises me.” She laughed and stepped into the saddle. One last time he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it in goodbye.

As Susanna parted from him, leaving him behind, she rode all the way home with a smile on her cheeks. Each night she was now spending with Anthony, she was certain she was losing her heart to him all the more.

I have to tell him I love him. Surely by now, he can guess well enough how I feel.

Susanna was so caught up in this thought that as she arrived back home and started riding down the drive, she didn’t notice at first there was someone else there. Only when she got closer did she see that shadow moving by the trees.

Susanna froze, pulling on the reins of the mare, thinking for one minute of bolting.

Where would I bolt to? This is my home!

The shadow moved forward from the trees. He didn’t rush but ambled as if wary of her as he approached. Susanna sat taller in the saddle, determined to know who he was.

I will not live in fear of my own home.

“Whoever you are…” Susanna called to the shadow, “you will leave this house at once. You are not welcome here.”

That shadow began to move with purpose, the stride becoming quite fierce.

Susanna pulled on the reins of her mare, backing up as much as she could. The horse sensed the trouble, snorting beneath her, spooked.

“Do you hear me?” Susanna called to the figure again. “You will leave this house.”

She turned the horse. Rather than thinking of fleeing to the stable, she made the horse face the figure, preparing to ride toward him to scare him off if necessary.

The clouds moved in the sky, bristled by the wind that tugged and pulled at Susanna’s hair, parting from the moon to reveal more light. That white light glistened down on the figure, revealing exactly who it was.

At the sight before her, Susanna faltered, her hands going limp around the reins of her horse.

This doesn’t make sense.

The gentleman stepped near to her, falling still within a few strides of her.

“Donald? What are you doing here?”