Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

R afe stood before the connecting door that led to his wife's bedchamber, a rueful laugh escaping him. He had been tormented with want since the first night he kissed her in Hyde Park, yet here he was, hesitating. Despite the burning desire that had simmered within him all day, the reality of their marriage still felt surreal.

He had seen Julia only in passing since their brief, simple ceremony that morning—a ceremony so understated it had stunned him. His previous marriage had been a grand affair, held in a London cathedral packed with hundreds of guests from the ton , many of whom he had no real connection with.

But this … this was different. Julia had not seemed unhappy with the simplicity of it all, but Rafe couldn't shake the feeling that he wanted to do more for her, delight her senses, and show her the depth of his intentions. Even if he himself hardly understood the driving need to see her smile and her eyes sparkle with unmatched joy.

After the ceremony, he retreated to his office and spent several hours dealing with estate matters and writing letters. One to her brother, Lord Celdon, and another to her mother, Countess Ashworth, informing them of the marriage. He had also written to his mother and sister, sharing the news. Instructions were sent to his solicitor and man of affairs to set aside one hundred thousand pounds, an estate in Berkshire, and a townhouse in London as Julia's widow's portion. He ensured the news of their marriage was sent to The Morning Chronicle, The Times, and several other newspapers. By tomorrow, all of London would be abuzz with the announcement that Miss Fairbanks was now the Countess of Ashton.

Later in the afternoon, after meeting with his steward and man of affairs, Rafe went to the dining room, eager to see his wife. Instead, he found her in the smaller dining room where the girls usually had their supper. They hadn't noticed him at first, and Rafe stood in the shadows, watching in astonishment as Julia engaged Grace and Emma, her presence lighting up the room.

"Grandmother never allows us to eat with the adults," Grace had gasped. "We've always wanted to!"

"It's not very proper," Emma had added, though her tone was wistful.

"Well, I have never been all that proper," Julia had declared with a wink, making the girls giggle.

A pang of alarm had jolted Rafe. He had melted away, eating alone in the larger dining room, a part of him wishing he was with Julia and his daughters. A rigorous ride had done nothing to temper the temptation beating at him. He wondered if she awaited him now, ready to consummate their wedding night.

Perhaps he should wait … give her more time.

Even as he reasoned this, his feet moved independently, propelling him toward the door. Rafe knocked once, then opened the connecting door. Julia was seated before her vanity, a brush in her hand as she worked it through her glorious tresses. Her head was bent forward, revealing the delicate curve of the nape of her neck. A surge of heart-pounding awareness burned through his body with fiery intensity. Rafe wanted nothing more than to walk over, press his mouth to that exposed skin, and wrap his arms around her, shielding her from everything but him.

She was wrapped in one of his banyans, the silk fabric far too large for her slender frame. The hem dragged on the floor, and though she had knotted the belt several times, the front still gaped slightly, offering tantalizing glimpses of the sensual shape of her body beneath. The flickering firelight and candles cast a warm glow over her, highlighting every curve.

"I borrowed your banyan," she said softly, setting the brush down. Then she stood and turned to face him.

Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, the soft waves framing her face and spilling over the front of the robe, teasingly hiding the shadowed cleavage beneath. Rafe's breath caught in his throat. She was so beautiful it was almost painful to look at her.

"I've been thoughtless," he said hoarsely, closing the door behind him. "I forgot to summon a modiste to create a new wardrobe for you."

Julia's gaze gleamed with something that sent his pulse racing. "I've already sent instructions for my trunks, portmanteau, valises, and hat boxes to be delivered here. They should arrive in a few days. For this season, I had a new wardrobe made with more exciting and bold colors. They were more suitable for a married lady, so I don't need to procure new clothes."

Rafe smiled. "Do you plan to wear my robes until your trunks and valises arrive?"

She gave him a considering glance, her lips curving into a playful smile. "I allowed for the possibility that you might keep me naked for a few days." Julia tilted her head, a teasing glint in her eyes. "My sister Penny said that was her experience."

It felt like the ground had been pulled from beneath Rafe's feet. The gentle simmer of desire he'd felt upon seeing her blazed into hot, powerful lust with those provocative words. His body ached with need, his cock throbbing painfully. Her gaze lowered to the front of his banyan, and she blushed before quickly looking away.

His wife smoothed her palms down the front of the robe, the slight tremble in her fingers betraying her nerves. She was anxious and trying to hide it. The awareness rushed through him, dampening his desire. Rafe raked his fingers through his hair, fighting the sudden restriction in his chest.

This must be so hard for her.

"Sleep well, Julia. We will speak in the morning." Rafe whirled around, forcing himself to walk back to the connecting door, every step a battle against his instincts.

"Stop."

Her voice was soft, but it hooked into his chest and froze him in place.

"Why do you leave?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

"You're afraid," he said gruffly, his back still to her.

"I am nervous ," she said. "There is a distinction."

"I will give you time," he replied, his voice rough with the effort of restraint.

There was a considering pause, and he forced himself not to look over his shoulder at her, afraid that one glance would undo his resolve.

"Time for what, Rafe?"

"We need time to get to know each other," he said. "I didn't properly woo you, and you didn't get the chance to know me—"

His words faltered when he felt her slim, elegant hands slip around his waist from behind. A shudder worked through him at the unexpected touch. He hadn't heard her approach, and now, with her body pressed against his back, Rafe was acutely aware of Julia's scent and the shape of her soft body against his while everything else around him lost its focus and meaning.

"I don't wish to wait," she whispered, her breath warm against his skin. "That will make me more nervous."

Her hands fell from around his waist, and she stepped back. Rafe turned to face her, and a curse slipped from him. She stood gloriously naked, the banyan a pool of silk at her feet. Her breasts were small but firm and round, topped with pink, diamond-hard nipples. His mouth watered just looking at them.

"I believe it is your turn," she murmured, even as red stained her cheeks.

When he did not move, Julia reached out and tugged at the knot which held his robe closed. The tie loosened and his robe parted. Her gaze immediately went to his cock which was hard and throbbing.

"Oh," she said on a soft gasp, her eyes widening.

Rafe reached for her, flushing her against his chest, lowered his head and caught her mouth with his in a greedy kiss.

He dragged his mouth from her lips down to her arched throat. Rafe paused to feel the wild flutter of her pulse in the small hollow at the base, pressing his tongue against her skin. He kissed the arch of her collarbone, and his cock ached at the sweet murmurs and gasps of delight she made.

Rafe lifted her and stumbled with her onto the bed. She giggled when her body bounced, and he climbed over her, brushing his mouth over her quivering belly. Though he was desperate to take her, Rafe felt the artless innocence in her responses and heard it in her low, aroused moans of wonder. Her slender body twisted and arched as he kissed and touched her body, stoking her pleasure until she trembled. He molded the full mounds of her breasts, his thumbs and forefingers capturing her peaked nipples and rolling them. She gasped, thrusting her fingers through his hair when he sucked a nipple into his mouth. The taste of her was intoxicating, as hot and sweet as wild honey, and she was crying out sharp, breathless sounds of pleasure.

Julia felt as if she drowned in pleasure. She moaned, barely able to breathe. There was a frantic passion and desperation in their coming together, yet there was also tenderness. Rafe continued sucking her nipple while one of his hands was between her legs, touching her sex, slowly circling his finger around the small nub at the top of her sex, and she would have screamed if she'd had enough breath.

He slid his fingers down and slid one deep. He pressed his leg between hers and shifted his foot, widening her more to his intimate caress. Julia cried out, a sound of breathless arousal, and her entire body blushed at her overwhelming wetness. The sensations filling her were like nothing she could have imagined.

Rafe's fingers left her body, and he shifted down, and lifted one of her legs over his muscled shoulder. He opened her legs even wider and before she even had an inkling about Rafe's intentions his mouth was hot on her exposed female flesh.

She went rigid from an unbearable surge of pleasure. He kissed her sex, flicking his tongue over her clitoris. Julia jerked and he gripped her buttocks firmer, angling her closer to the stroke of his tongue.

She cried out, helpless to stop the lustful sounds spilling from her throat. Her entire body clenched unbearably, the tension coiling tighter and tighter, the heat engulfing her. Rafe moved up her body and a hard, blunt pressure nudged her entrance. Julia clutched his shoulders as he flexed his hips and thrust his cock deep inside her body.

That hot coil of tension abruptly snapped at his deep invasion, and she convulsed, as ecstasy blew her apart.

"Fucking hell," he gasped, withdrew once, surged forward and then groaned.

They both breathed raggedly, and Julia whispered, "Is it over?"

He laughed, dropping his forehead on hers. "Yes."

"Oh."

"I assure you, it should have lasted much longer," he said gruffly. "It has been a while."

"Hmm, I think it is simply because I am wonderful."

His chuckle sank into her body and filled her with warmth.

"Is that so, countess?"

"Yes." She slipped her hand around his nape, aware of the deep ache between her legs and that their bodies were still joined. "How long has it been since you took a lover?"

He inhaled sharply. "Bloody hell."

"Why the surprise?"

"A gentleman does not discuss something as delicate as past lovers with his wife."

"Truly?"

"Yes."

She nudged forward and brushed her mouth against his. "I am certain by now you know that I am quite different."

"I do know," he murmured, capturing her mouth to deepen the kiss. Rafe released her from his drugging kiss and said, "It was three years ago. I had a brief … interlude."

There was a throb of something raw in his tone. Julia pressed a finger along his jaw. "Why do you sound guilty?"

His eyes peered into hers for several beats.

"Are you to know my most intimate thoughts, wife?"

"Yes."

He jerked, and Julia knew she had surprised him with her answer. "I shall not hide mine from you ever," she murmured.

"That interlude was the first such intimacy I shared after the death of my first wife. Though four years had passed, somehow … I felt as if I violated our vows."

Empathy scythed through her heart, and she gently pressed her mouth to his. He groaned and deepened their kiss for several moments. She gasped when he gently withdrew from her body. Rafe padded further into her bedchamber, and she watched the play of muscles on his shoulders and back as he walked. He was delineated with lithe muscles, and Julia never imagined the naked body could be this beautiful.

Rafe returned with a washcloth and gently cleaned her. Then to Julia's aroused surprise, he came over her body, nudged her thighs wide and slid his cock deep into her sex, his satisfied grunt and her moan of pleasure echoing in the bedchamber.

"Rafe," she gasped, her nails sinking into his shoulders. "I thought …"

He kissed the corner of her mouth. "That our loving was over?"

"Yes."

"That was to take the edge off. I plan to love you for the entire night until you ask me to stop."

"Why would I ever ask you to stop?" she all but purred, dragging her legs up his muscled calves until they were hooked around his hips. "This is glorious."

"You will ask when you are too sore to take any more."

Julia's eyes widened and a blush coasted over her body. She felt slightly achy now, but the feeling of him so hard and deep within her was also rousing, rekindling the pleasures Julia experienced earlier.

Rafe started to move inside her body with long, deep strokes, devastating all her senses with pleasure. She clutched his shoulders helplessly and buried her face in the curve of his neck as that wanton heat spread low in her belly once more. She lifted into his thrusts, her thighs falling open wider. Soon she was crying out, sharp, breathless sounds as he plunged into her sex, hard and deep. A heavy ache coiled low in her stomach, drawing tighter as the piercing sensations intensified. Pleasure swept through her in a hot, unrelenting rush, and Julia unraveled several times before he found his release.

They took a hot bath together, the warmth of the water soothing away all the aches in Julia's body. She quickly realized that Rafe was not a talkative man; he seemed to find comfort in contemplative silence. Julia didn't mind, enjoying the quiet moments where she could relish his kisses and simply lie atop his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her.

He was insatiable in his hunger for her, and Julia matched his passion with her own, savoring every moment of their intimate connection. He made love to her three times that night, each time more intense than the last. When she finally yawned, exhausted, Rafe tenderly tugged the coverlets over her, his touch gentle.

She was drifting into a contented sleep when she felt the bed dip with his movements. Rafe pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and then began to walk toward the connecting door. Julia opened her eyes, sat up, and stared at his retreating form.

"Where are you going?" she asked, her voice husky with sleep.

He paused, then turned around to face her. "To my bedchamber."

A jolt of confusion and something deeper—disappointment—went through her heart. "Why?"

She sensed his surprise more than she saw it.

"As husband and wife, we have different bedchambers," he replied, his tone matter-of-fact.

Julia blinked, trying to make sense of it. "Do you have odious sleeping habits?"

"No," he said, a faint smile touching his lips.

She tilted her head slightly, curiosity burning in her chest. "Did you sleep apart from your first wife, my lord?"

"She preferred it that way, and I enjoy sleeping alone."

Julia bit her lower lip hard, trying to center herself against the unfamiliar sensation twisting inside her chest. "I've never been married before … but I always presumed that a married couple slept in each other's arms."

She was certain all her sisters did so with their husbands. The thought of sleeping alone after the closeness they had just shared felt … wrong. Julia delicately cleared her throat, trying to hide the vulnerability she felt. "I bid you good night, Rafe."

"Sleep well, Julia," he said softly, then stepped through the connecting door, closing it quietly behind him.

Julia sat there, gripping the sheets pooled at her sides until her fingers ached. That peculiar sense of loneliness crept through her body once again, a feeling she had hoped to leave behind now that she was married. She stared at the closed door for several long moments. Finally, unable to ignore the pull in her heart, she shoved the covers aside, marched to the connecting door, and wrenched it open.

Oh!

Rafe was standing there, as if he had been waiting for her. A slow, knowing smile curved his lips, and without a word, he reached for her, lifting her against his chest as if she weighed nothing. His mouth claimed hers in a kiss that was both tender and possessive, and Julia's heart fluttered wildly in response.

Rafe carried her back into his bedchamber, laying her gently on his bed. They slipped under the covers together, and he tugged her into his arms so that she lay atop him, her face resting against his chest. The warmth of his body, the steady rise and fall of his breathing, brought a deep sense of comfort.

In that moment, Julia knew she had made the right choice. As she drifted off to sleep, she felt a quiet resolve take root within her. She wasn't going to let the distance between them grow—not tonight, not ever.