Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocence, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church…" the minister was saying, introducing the marriage ceremony as Johanna and Edmund stood before him.

The wedding was taking place in the village church, and a good number of guests had turned out for the occasion—despite the short notice of the invitation. It had been only a month since the proposal, and Edmund's arm was still in a sling. But both their mothers had insisted on a swift arrangement, and there had barely been time for Johanna to alter the dress her aunt had bought for her before the day of the wedding had arrived.

"We did it," Edmund whispered after the final blessing had been given.

Johanna smiled and nodded, taking her new husband's arm as the two of them now turned to face the congregation. Johanna's mother was in floods of tears, as was Edmund's mother, too. Her aunt appeared more stoical—in private, she had confided her fears as to the swiftness of the arrangements, though she was still in favor of Johanna marrying.

"Life as a spinster isn't all it's made out to be," she had warned, even as Johanna had continued to wonder what life might have been like had she refused Edmund's offer.

But it was too late now; however Johanna might have imagined her wedding day to have been, this was not it. The trappings were there, the words were the same. She had made vows and promises before God, and now there was to be a celebration at Beaumont Abbey. Johanna was the Countess of Beaumont—she outranked her own mother. But all of these things were superficial. The marriage was merely a front. It did not mean anything. There was no love behind it, and Johanna could not help but feel as though she was deceiving herself—and others, too.

"Oh, I'm so happy for the two of you. Isn't this wonderful?" Edmund's mother, the dowager countess, said as she came to congratulate them.

"Thank you, Mother," Edmund replied as the dowager slipped her arm into Johanna's and kissed her on the cheek.

"It's never easy entering a family, but I want you to be happy at Beaumont Abbey, Johanna. You're its new mistress, and there's a lot you'll have to learn about running a household. But fear not, I'm going to make it my business to help you. I came down here not knowing how long I'd have to stay—long enough to help Edmund find a wife. But since he managed to do that himself, perhaps my time might be better spent helping you instead. Now, let's think where to start," she said.

Johanna smiled—what else could she do? The dowager was well-meaning, but Edmund had warned her as to his mother's overbearing nature. Johanna did not like to think what she would be like if her offer of help was refused, and she nodded, thanking the dowager for her kindness.

"That's very kind of you, thank you," she said, and the dowager beamed at her.

"You remind me of myself on my wedding day—so full of hopes and expectations. I just hope...well, I hope you'll be happy. Happier than I was," she said.

Johanna felt sorry for the dowager. Edmund had told her something of how unhappy his mother had been at Beaumont Abbey, and how living in London had given her a new lease on life.

"I don't want you to stay longer than you intended to, though. I know you don't care for the countryside," Johanna said, but the dowager now clapped her hands together in delight.

"Oh, but that's the perfect idea, isn't it? You can both come back with me and spend the rest of the Season in London. It can be your debut—all married couples need a debut. Everyone knows you're getting married—it was announced in all the periodicals, but they'll want to see you, won't they? We can leave at once. What do you think, Edmund?" the dowager asked.

Edmund looked uncomfortable, glancing at Johanna, who could not think of anything to say in reply. She did not want to go to London, and yet she knew Edmund's mother would insist on it.

"Well...we can think about it, Mother. I don't want to neglect my duties here," Edmund said.

Others were waiting to congratulate them on their marriage, but Edmund's mother now looked imploringly at them both.

"It would mean so much to me if you did—London can be a lonely place for a dowager," she said, and Edmund nodded.

"I'm sure we can find the time, Mother," he replied, and his mother now brushed a tear from her eye.

"How wonderful," she said, even as Johanna could think of nothing she wanted less than to spend the remainder of the Season in the capital…

***

If Johanna had hoped the idea of their going to London with the dowager might be forgotten, she was mistaken, and it was only a week later she found herself in the capital, staying at Beaumont House—the London residence of the earls of Beaumont, and the dowager's home. It was a comfortable dwelling in the heart of Mayfair, and Johanna had everything she needed—and far more—to make her stay pleasant. But try as she might, she was finding it hard to settle, longing for the freedom she had known on her travels in Europe, a freedom now denied her. Edmund had been a model husband so far—kind and considerate, a perfect gentleman. But something was still missing—the romance, the sense of feeling toward one another. There was no doubting his handsome looks, and few women would find marriage to an earl a hardship. But as for a spark, a genuine sense of affection, that was missing, and Johanna was beginning to wonder if she could really go on without it…

"You mustn't forget the ball tonight—the Duke and Duchess of Sherbridge. They're in London for the Season, and they always host the most magnificent balls. I sent word of our arrival, and the duchess insisted on your both being invited. She'll be very pleased to have you make your debut this evening," Edmund's mother said as they sat at breakfast a few days after their arrival in the capital.

Johanna looked up and nodded. The thought of it did not excite her. She hated the idea of being looked at—of being judged. The ton loved to judge and pass comment, but Johanna did not see why she should have to be the object of such judgment and comment. She and Edmund were married—was that not enough? They were respectable, and any question of scandal had been avoided. Now, she glanced at him across the table, wondering what he thought.

"Ah, yes, Roger mentioned something about it. I suppose we don't have much of a choice, do we?" he said, and his mother rolled her eyes.

"You make it sound like a chore, Edmund. There will be music, dancing, refreshments—it'll be a delightful evening," she said, and it seemed the matter was settled.

Mary—who had come to London to act as Johanna's maid—helped her choose a dress—red, with a golden sash and lace trim to the sleeves—and ready herself for the evening. Johanna knew she had to make a good impression—impressions were what mattered most. It was style over substance, as far as the ton was concerned. That was the reason she and Edmund were married. Any rumors as to impropriety had been quashed by the announcement of their marriage, and now, there was no question of anything but legitimacy in their relationship. And yet Johanna still wondered if she had been too hasty in accepting the proposal. It had all happened so fast, and now they had made vows binding them together for life.

"Are you looking forward to the ball, my lady?" Mary asked, and Johanna shrugged.

"I don't know, really. I suppose I am, yes. I just don't like being looked at and judged. We're making a debut—it isn't enough to just be married, we have to be seen to be married in the eyes of the ton. It's all very strange. Still, it's what has to be done, isn't it?" Johanna said, and the maid nodded.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, my lady? Shall I help you choose a piece of jewelry to wear? Your green brooch would go very well with your dress," she said, but Johanna shook her head.

"No, thank you, Mary. It's all right. The dowager has already made a suggestion," she said, glancing at the jewelry box on her dressing table.

Since marrying Edmund, Johanna had come to realize just how forceful the dowager could be. Her suggestions were more than suggestions. What she said was what she expected—whether it was the suggestion of a piece of jewelry, or what to think about a particular topic of conversation. She and Johanna had not yet found themselves in conflict, but Johanna was already fearing the moment when the inevitable occurred.

"Very good, my lady. I'll be waiting for your return. I hope you have a lovely evening," Mary said, and curtseying, she left the room.

Johanna sighed. She was not looking forward to the ball, fearing it would be an uncomfortable situation to find herself in. What would the ton think of her? Would she and Edmund be whispered and gossiped about? She put on the piece of jewelry belonging to the dowager—a diamond-embedded necklace made of silver—and made her way downstairs, where she found Edmund and his mother waiting for her.

"Oh, there you are, Johanna. Don't you look pretty? And the necklace suits you so well. I'm so pleased," Edmund's mother said, and Johanna forced a smile to her face.

"It was very kind of you to suggest I wear it," Johanna said, and the dowager waved her hand dismissively.

"It was nothing—nothing at all. Come now, let's get going—we don't want to be late now, do we?" she said, marching toward the door which was hastily opened by a footman.

Edmund offered Johanna his arm, and she took it, smiling at him as he leaned in to whisper to her.

"I'm sorry if you feel she's taking over," he said, but Johanna shook her head.

"It's quite all right. I'm sure I don't think anything of the sort," she replied, but in her heart of hearts, it was yet another reason to question what she was doing, and she wondered if marrying the earl had really been the right decision.