Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"It's just for a few minutes, Kyle. I want you to get to know her. She's lovely, and very easy to get along with," Tara said.

She was trying to persuade Kyle to come with her to the coffeehouse to meet Gina, but he was proving stubbornly resistant to the idea.

"I don't know, Tara. She's your friend," Kyle said.

They were feeding the animals together. It was a cold morning, and Tara had already arranged to meet Gina before going to the clinic. She wasn't due to work that day, but she wanted to check on John's progress and see if he had remembered anything further after their walk the previous day.

She hadn't told Kyle anything about it, and certainly not about their having "danced" together outside the saloon. But his reluctance to meet Gina—to meet anyone—seemed strange. What was he afraid of?

"But she can be your friend, too, Kyle. I don't understand why you won't come and meet her. You don't know anyone in Freemont yet, do you? This is a chance to meet someone," Tara replied. "Gina could introduce you to Randy. That's her beau. The two of you might get on. And then there's her brother, too. Thomas is a lovely man, and there's no harm in being in with the sheriff now, is there?"

At that, Kyle's expression momentarily changed. He looked suddenly defensive, as though the mention of the law enforcer roused strong feelings in him, even as his expression immediately softened.

"I'll meet your friend if it'll make you happy. But I don't need to make friends of my own. I've got you," he said.

It was a sweet thing to say, and Tara smiled. She had to remind herself this was all new to him, and that she would surely have felt the same if it had been her traveling thousands of miles to a strange place to be with someone she only knew through letters. It wasn't fair to expect Kyle to settle down without a few bumps along the way.

"You're happy, aren't you?" she asked, as they stood together in the stable.

He put his hands on her shoulders, looked down at her, and smiled. "How could I not be happy? I've got you," he said.

Tara's heart skipped a beat. He was charming, and she felt suddenly guilty for having doubted him. This was all new to him, and it was up to her to make him feel comfortable.

"If you don't want to come, I understand," she said, but Kyle shook his head.

"No. I've said I will, and I will. What time are you meeting her?"

"Half-past nine, so we'd better get ready," Tara said.

Having finished their jobs around the homestead, the two of them set off through the snow toward the coffeehouse. The lighted windows were a welcoming sight on that dark morning, and Tara could see Gina sitting inside drinking a cup of coffee.

As they entered, she looked up at them and smiled, rising to her feet as they approached. Tara felt nervous. She knew what Gina thought of the arrangement, and she knew her best friend was not hesitant in coming forward when it came to expressing her opinion.

"You must be Gina. I've heard a lot about you," Kyle said, holding out his hand to Gina, who took it and nodded.

"And I've heard a lot about you, too. I'm glad we've finally gotten to meet. How are you settling in?" she asked.

"Well enough, I suppose. It's a small town, and I'm used to the city. Still, it's worth it to be here with Tara," he replied, turning to Tara, who smiled.

He was a charming man, and to look at him made her feel terrible for what she had shared with John. She had allowed a line to be crossed, and she reminded herself it was not right to allow her feelings for a patient get the better of her. Kyle had traveled thousands of miles to be with her. It was up to her to make it work.

"I'm sure it is. She's a very special person," Gina replied.

"Oh, I know that. I knew that from the moment I received her first letter. She's something else, she really is," Kyle said, and he slipped his hand into Tara's and squeezed it.

Tara blushed, and the three of them sat down at a table and ordered a fresh pot of coffee.

"Tara tells me you're involved in a lot of charity work—a Christmas food drive? I think that's admirable. If only more people were so committed to helping others, particularly at this time of year," Kyle said, smiling at Gina across the table.

She took a sip of coffee and nodded. "That's right. We collect food for the poor and needy in town. People are very generous. Would you like to make a donation? It doesn't just have to be food. We can make use of anything," she said. "Or money, even."

Tara raised her eyebrows. "Gina, really… you can't ask that," she admonished.

But Kyle shook his head and smiled. "I'll be more than happy to help. Put me down for whatever you're short of, then let me know how much I owe you," he said.

Gina seemed taken aback by these words, as though she had expected an outright refusal rather than a generosity of heart.

"Oh… well, that's very kind of you, Kyle," she said.

"This is a time of goodwill. If we can't help one another at Christmas, when can we?" he asked.

Tara was secretly pleased. She hoped Kyle's act of generosity would change Gina's attitude toward him, and prove Tara's decision to invite Kyle to Freemont had been the right one.

"You're right. I'm very grateful. I'm going to see Reverend McGuire this morning, and I'll be sure to tell him how generous you've been," Gina said.

At these words, Kyle's expression changed. His smile was replaced by a sudden seriousness, and he shook his head, gripping his coffee cup tighter as he spoke.

"No… I don't want… I mean, there's no reason to mention charity, is there? I'm sure Reverend McGuire would remind you of the scriptures—about not letting the right hand know what the left hand's doing?" Kyle said.

Gina blushed. "Oh, yes… I'm sorry. It's perfectly all right. I'll just tell him we've had a very generous offer," she said, and Kyle nodded.

They finished their coffee in silence, and Kyle rose to his feet, glancing out the window where the sun was now peeking over the mountaintops.

"I'd better be going. I've got some things to see to," he said.

"What things?" Tara asked, but that same look came over his face—the look that said "don't ask."

"Just business," he replied. "I'll see you later." Nodding to Gina, he left the coffeehouse.

Tara poured herself another cup of coffee from the pot, and as the door closed behind Kyle, she waited for Gina to speak.

"Well, there's insincerity for you," Gina said.

Tara looked up at her in surprise, flushed with a sudden anger at the bluntness of her best friend's opinion.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, all that false niceness. ‘How do you do,' ‘I've heard a lot about you,' ‘Aren't you just so wonderful for all you do?' He didn't mean a word of it, and I don't believe his promise to help with the food drive for a moment." She folded her arms and looked at Tara as though challenging her to deny what she clearly took to be obvious.

Tara was taken aback by this outburst. Kyle had been perfectly friendly toward Gina, and his offer of help for the food drive had been sincere.

"What do you mean? He was perfectly charming," she said, and Gina laughed.

"Charming? He was a snake. He said all the things he thought I wanted to hear. Well, I saw through him well enough," she said.

"Why can't you just be happy for me, Gina? You wanted all this to be a failure, didn't you? You wanted me to admit I was wrong. You're just jealous," Tara exclaimed, rising to her feet.

Gina laughed. "Jealous? Jealous of what? I'm not jealous of your infatuation with a man who's obviously completely wrong for you. I'm telling you, Tara, there's something not right about him, and the sooner you realize that, the better."

But Tara had heard enough. She wasn't about to be told who she should fall in love with, and though she still had questions about Kyle, she didn't think it was right for Gina to judge him on half an hour of conversation over a coffee. What did Kyle have to do to prove himself?

"I'm not going to listen to this anymore. I know what you think, and I know why you think it. I'm sorry if Randy isn't half the man Kyle is. But that's no reason to spoil what I have with your mean words," Tara said, and, turning on her heels, she marched out of the coffeehouse, leaving Gina to pay the bill.

It was the first time she and Gina had ever argued in such a way, and as she left the coffeehouse, Tara's heart was beating fast. She didn't want to fall out with Gina, they were best friends—and yet it seemed so unfair for her to judge Kyle in this way. He had done nothing wrong, and now she understood why he had been so reluctant to meet Gina in the first place.

I owe him an apology, and I won't go forcing him to meet any of my friends again, she thought as she headed in the direction of the clinic.

But that sense of guilt caused her to pause. She didn't have to go to the clinic. She wasn't due there until the evening and had only intended to go because she wanted to see John.

But that's not fair, is it? John's just a patient, she reminded herself.

Tara had enjoyed their walk together—the ease of their conversation, the way he had made her feel, the touch of his hand in hers. There was a special bond between them, one that went further than a nurse and her patient. And yet Tara had to remind herself it was Kyle to whom she owed her loyalty.

He was the one who had traveled thousands of miles to be with her, who had given up everything for the romance they had forged through their letters. Tara owed him a great deal, and it would be wrong—terribly wrong—to allow her feelings for another to get the better of her.

I don't feel anything for John, she told herself. But in her heart, she knew it was a lie.

Reluctantly, she turned back, heading home instead of to the clinic. Gina was emerging from the coffeehouse as she passed, but the two of them ignored one another, and Gina went in the opposite direction.

There's something else to feel guilty about, Tara thought, intent on apologizing to Kyle for Gina's behavior.

She was beginning to fear he would want to leave, that the lack of welcome he had received would be enough for him to call off the whole thing. Tara couldn't bear the thought of him leaving, and as she let herself into the house, her mind was filled with ways to make amends.

"Kyle? Are you here? I realized I wasn't due at the clinic this morning. I must've made a mistake," she said.

But the house was empty, and only Maisy came to greet her, rubbing herself around Tara's legs and purring. Tara reached down and picked her up.

"Where's Kyle? Did he go back to the boarding house?" she asked.

She had been expecting him to be at the house. That was where he had promised to meet her later—though, of course, she was back far earlier than she had intended. But there was no sign of him—not until she noticed the note on the table. It was hastily scribbled, almost illegible, and Tara picked it up, trying to decipher it.

Gone to Helena… won't be back for a few days… unexpected business, she read, confused as to why he should have left so suddenly.

He hadn't mentioned any business in Helena, a town some twenty miles farther along the trail. What possible business connection could Kyle have in a town he had never visited? It was all very curious, and as she read through the note again, Tara was reminded of Gina's words.

"You don't know anything about him," she said out loud, sighing, as she put Maisy down by the stove.

It was all very mysterious, and the more she thought about it, the more Tara wondered if she was making a terrible mistake. She wanted to trust Kyle, but he was behaving so mysteriously—unexplained business to attend to, a reluctance to mix with others, disappearing at odd times…

And then there were those men on the ridge. He was afraid of them, Tara reminded herself.

None of it made sense, and with no further word, and no certainty as to whether Kyle really would return, Tara found herself at a loss. She wondered if this was not simply an excuse for leaving. Perhaps his mind was already made up.

At first, Kyle had been charming, but little by little, that charm had been replaced by a defensiveness over any question as to his intentions. Tara was beginning to wonder if he really was the man she had gotten to know through their letters, or whether that had simply been a mask, hiding what he was truly like.

He certainly fooled me, she thought, sighing and shaking her head.

Outside, the snow was falling heavily, and Tara pictured Kyle riding along the trail toward Helena. What if he got lost, or attacked? She thought then of John lying in the hospital, and what a contrast there was between the two men. The more she came to know of John, the less she felt she knew of Kyle. They were total opposites—one keeping secrets, and the other desperate to remember those secrets hidden from him.

Taking a deep breath, Tara now felt resolved. She would go to the clinic, and she would do so without feeling guilty about it. Kyle had abandoned her, but John was the one who needed her now. Wrapping a shawl around her shoulders and saying goodbye to Maisy, Tara hurried out into the snow and in the direction of the clinic, knowing John would be waiting for her even as Kyle was running away.