14. Selena

It's been a week since I received the news that I'm having twins and it's still as much of a shock as it was then. Not to mention, one of my new brothers has stopped by every morning, all with a bear claw and a decaf coffee.

I didn't answer the door every time, but they have a knack for catching me when I'm distracted.

Each professed an apology, reminding me I only heard part of the conversation. They only said what they had because of the new knowledge of our parents being married. Something they didn't want to ruin for their father.

I get it, but it still doesn't help my situation. I feel so selfish. My best friend in the whole world is pretending to be my boyfriend and father to my children. Not to mention keeping the babies a secret from their actual father. What do I do when the babies get older? Do I tell them the truth? How can I expect them to keep my secret if I do?

Am I making matters worse by being dishonest? At this point, I don't know if it's just the morning sickness that makes me feel like I'm dying.

I can't eat or drink. Everything I take into my body makes a violent exit. I've contemplated moving my bedroom to the bathroom, since I seem to be in there more.

My next appointment is in three weeks. I'll officially be twelve weeks. Three months of two little life forms growing inside of me.

My phone vibrates on the couch, and I lift the blanket to search for it. I made it here after I woke up this morning. I attempted to work on some of my accounts but gave up about thirty minutes ago.

Picking it up, I see it's a text from an unknown number.

Unknown: Hey Selena. It's Eli. I was checking to see if maybe you'd like to have dinner with us tonight.

Unknown: It could be our first step to a fresh start.

I let out a sigh. Why can't they be like any other blended family and not care if they see you or not? I don't remember which one texted me when we were at the wedding, but I deleted the number so I wouldn't be tempted to message. Now I have a number again.

Ugh. I hate my life.

Me: Thank you for the offer, but I'm going to decline.

See, I wasn't rude. I replied. The check mark turns green and bubbles dance up and down on the screen.

Fuck! Why do I have a feeling he's not going to let it go at that?

Unknown: Come on Selena. It's only going to be weird if we make it weird. We're going to see each other for a long time, or as long as our parents are married.

Me: It's not that Eli. I have been fighting a stomach bug and I just don't feel like going anywhere.

Unknown: Do you need some medicine? Soup?

Me: No.

Me: Can I get a raincheck?

Unknown: Of course.

I don't respond, but before I put my phone on the coffee table, I add his number to my contacts. I don't know why, I just do.

My phone vibrates again.

I'm fully expecting it to be another message from Eli or one of my new, I hate even saying it, brothers.

A smile breaks out when I see it's Sam.

Sam: Morning baby mama. How are you and the babies?

Sam: Are you feeling better?

Me: Death would be welcome at this moment.

Me: The doctor said the morning sickness should end by the beginning of the second trimester. So just a few more weeks and this should be over.

Me: Hopefully sooner.

Sam: Jose and I can cancel our vacation and I can come get you and bring you here so we can take care of you.

Me: The hell you will Sam. You and Jose have had this vacation planned for months. You are going. I'll be okay. You're only going to be gone for a couple of weeks. Nothing's going to happen in that time other than I'm going to get fatter.

Sam: Not fatter. You're pregnant Selly.

Me: It's semantics. By the end of this pregnancy, I'm sure I'll look like a beached whale.

The bubbles bounce up and down, making their own little musical beat. I already know what's about to pop up on my screen.

Sam: I'm going to talk to Jose and we'll reschedule or we can see if they have another room open and book it for you and take you with us.

Me: No and No.

Me: You and Jose are going without me. I want you to have an amazing time and spoil that wonderfully amazing man of yours. Also do not message and check up on me.

Sam: I need to know you're okay.

Me: I will message you good morning and goodnight. Now go and have fun.

Sam: Fine.

Sam: But you better message. I need to know you're okay especially with how bad your morning sickness has been.

Me: I love you Sam.

Sam: I love you too Selly.

I'd turn my phone off if I didn't have clients contacting me on it. Instead, I put it on the coffee table and pull the blanket up snug to my chin. My head flops back on the pillow before my eyes close and I let sleep take over.

I'll worry about work when I wake up.

I just finished inputting all the information for my recent client and sent them their updated accounting records, along with how much their last quarterly taxes were.

I'm officially done for the day, and I'm exhausted. I haven't been able to keep anything down and I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. How anyone said being pregnant was the most wonderful time of their life I'll never know. It's been agony for me.

I've barely sat down from my last bathroom venture when the doorbell rings.

Getting up, I head for the door. "I swear to god, Sam, I told you—" I shout angrily as I open the door.

It's not Sam and Jose, though. It's all three of my new brothers. My eyes widen in surprise, but I immediately flash a nervous smile.

"Hey," Eli says with an awkward grin.

"What are you doing here?" I can already feel another wave of nausea and I'm trying my fucking hardest to keep it at bay.

"Well, we know you said you weren't feeling good, so we thought we'd bring you some dinner," Eli replies, a hopeful look in his eyes that matches his brothers.

"You didn't ha—"

I can't hold it any longer. Turning quickly, I run down the hallway, not even caring that I'm about to purge the non-existent contents of my stomach in front of them.

"Selena, are you okay?" one of them calls out.

"I'm fine… don't come… in… here," I say through bouts of vomiting with labored breaths.

"We're going to wait out here if you need us," one of them shouts back, but I don't fucking care. I feel like death has come to take me.

Their voices echo down the hallway, but I can't hear what they're saying.

Once there's nothing left, I stand slowly and flush the toilet before washing my hands. I splash cold water on my face and then use my hand as a cup to drink some. All I can taste is bile.

I grip the sink counter and take a deep breath in then slowly blow it out. I need to go out there and face them. My gut is telling me they're not going to leave any time soon.

"Thank you for coming over, but I really don't feel like company!" I shout as I leave the bathroom. They are all in the living room. Eli is standing with his back to me, looking at the photos on the wall, while Zeke and Jay are sitting closely on the couch.

"Is this your dad?" Eli turns to face me.

"Yeah. It was the last picture taken of us." It's one of me and my dad in the swing on our porch.

"You can see the love the two of you had for each other in the picture."

"Thank you, Eli. But really, the three of you can go. I'm just going to lie down and try to get some rest." I shift anxiously back and forth on my feet, wrapping my arms around myself.

All I can think about is that soon I'm going to have to announce my pregnancy to Mom and they'll find out. What am I going to do when they start counting in their head and begin to ask questions?

I just need to remember it's for the best they don't know. It'll piss Mom off and cause conflict for the guys and their father, and that's the last thing I want to do. I still firmly believe that Abel needs to have his head checked for being with her. He seems nice, even though he didn't once speak up about the way she talks down to me.

"We actually brought you some food. Some soup, and sandwiches." Jay rubs his hands down the length of his muscular thighs. But all I can see are visions of him and me in the hallway at the hotel.

"I'm really not up to eating." I sway a little and Zeke jumps up, wrapping his arm around me, and guides me over to the couch.

"When was the last time you were able to eat anything?" one of them asks. I'm so on edge right now, their voices all sound the same.

"Uh, I'm not sure." I don't have the strength to come up with an answer. Eating and keeping down food hasn"t happened for a while and I feel like I'm getting weaker by the day.

"You need to eat, Selena. I'm going to warm you up some soup, and get you some Gatorade. But we're not leaving you here alone. Where is Sam? He should be here taking care of you?" Zeke asks.

"He's on vacation." It's not until the words leave my mouth do I realize what I just slipped up and said.

"What?!" comes out in unison. Varying levels of anger laced in the one word.

"He should be here with you, not on a fucking vacation." Eli comes over and sits down on the coffee table in front of me.

"I told him to go. It's fine. People get sick, it"s not the end of the world."

"So you're trying to tell me that if it was him that was sick, you wouldn't be there taking care of him? It's bullshit, Selena. You have two options. You're packing a bag and coming to our house or one of us is staying here with you. What's it going to be?"

Fuck! How am I going to get out of this? I don't want either of those options.