Chapter Nine

Their conversation that afternoon set the pattern for a slightly changed relationship between Pip and Allegra. Oh, the proprieties were always observed,Pip was polite, respectful, and charming, and Allegra was always circumspect, lighthearted, and pleasant.

But each sensed an undercurrent, an awareness of the other that occasionally chafed them like a rash.

During those times they avoided each other, almost by unspoken agreement, Allegra making sure that the activities she and the girls enjoyed would be quite inappropriate for Pip.

For his part, Pip was content to ride away from his problems whenever possible, or to close the door to his study tightly and settle inside with a book and a decanter of his favourite brandy.

Which is exactly where he was several days after their eventful stroll through the Park. Long legs crossed comfortably at the ankles, Pip stared morosely into the fire that Runcorn had started earlier to chase away the dull greyness of the spring afternoon. It had rained all morning, and Pip was actually wondering if the sun had bothered to rise at all.

The girls and Allegra were braving the downpours to make the expected round of afternoon calls. Dowagers were featured prominently on today’s schedule, and he was thankful to be spared that ordeal.

Their approval was necessary, and Pip was quite comfortable that the twins would pass this social test with flying colours, but he knew that his presence would certainly cause a major flap within the esteemed parlours of the elderly ladies who were hosting teas and assessing the current crop of debutantes.

The evening would bring a small, informal dance which they would all be attending, but right at this moment, he could simply enjoy the leisurely pastime of just relaxing in front of his own fire and looking at the book that lay, unopened, in his lap.

His hand strayed to the cover, passed over it lightly, and then fell back to the tufted leather arm. He knew he lacked the concentration necessary to pick up his reading material, because his thoughts were elsewhere.

They were following a certain woman around with their tongues hanging out and their tails wagging hopefully, and they were starting to get Pip really annoyed.

He’d been attracted to women before,God knew he was no monk. And certainly women had been attracted to him. In fact, he’d had to work damned hard to avoid their clever schemes and their manipulative plots.

Dammit,she was nothing like that.

She didn’t have a manipulative bone in her body, and Pip doubted if she even realised her own attractiveness. He smiled as he imagined her snort of disgust if he’d told her how beautiful he thought she was,how one grin could light up those amazing eyes of hers and send shudders of lust through his body to his manhood.

And that blunt fact was what was making him squirm like a love-struck teenager. He wanted Allegra very badly, in the worst way. And in the best way. Well, actually in many ways.

Just considering the things he’d like to do to and with her was sending a bolt of excitement to his groin, which was starting to feel tightly constrained by his trousers.

So what else was surprising?

He seemed to spend a major portion of his days in this uncomfortably semi-aroused state, and his nights,well he didn’t even want to think about the nights.

The long hours of tossing and turning, and wondering how she’d feel underneath him, on top of him, next to him, in front of him. Whether her eyes would blaze green or gold in their passion, and whether she would respond in kind. Whether her skin would be as soft over her belly as it was at the nape of her neck.

Sighing, Pip took a healthy swallow of brandy and waited for the fiery liquid to calm his overwrought emotions. Perhaps it was the fact that Allegra was different from all the people Pip had known for so many years in the London scene.

Perhaps he would have been as fascinated by any new face, especially one that resided in his house and smiled at him over the teapot every morning at breakfast.

Perhaps he would have had the equally strong urge to crush his body to any attractive female visitor to Wensley Hall when he went there for the summer.

Perhaps he’d just been too long without a woman.

No, that couldn’t be it. He’d just managed to extract himself from a situation with Lady Blanche. If all he’d wanted was physical satisfaction, she was there for the taking.

He just had to face the fact that Allegra, Lady Falworth, had crept into his private domain. A part of himself which he had kept closed, locked, and double-barred until now.

The problem was that he didn’t quite know what to do with her now that she was there. Well, of course he had a lot of ideas on what to do with her, but none that were in any way helpful to his state of mind.

His body, however, would find them most satisfactory.

Allegra was a guest in his house, therefore seduction was out of the question. Perhaps she would consider moving to a smaller select residence at the end of the Season, somewhere conveniently near where he could visit her, a lot.

No, that wouldn’t do. His Allegra would never consent to that kind of arrangement.

Which left another possibility, murmured his conscience.

Absolutely not, responded his rigid principles.

Why not, asked another rigid part of his body. You need an heir, and I’m ready, willing, and oh-so-able to help get you one. Did I mention I’m ready?

Shut up, grimaced Pip, glaring at his crotch.

The only possibility for relief in this situation would be to legitimise their relationship, and Pip knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. Setting aside the unimportant fact that Allegra was the widow of a profligate outsider, he knew he had little to offer a woman besides his body, his title, and his fortune.

That might be enough for most, but he knew without a doubt that his Allegra wanted and deserved more. And what she would want would be the one thing he could not give.

Because he had no heart.

He looked slowly down his body, waiting to see if that organ might decide to make its presence known, but there was nothing,just silence broken only by the crackling of the logs in the fireplace.

“I don’t think Uncle Pip knows what true love is, Grace. Wouldn’t you agree, Cousin Allegra?”

Penelope’s question caught Allegra off-guard, and she sat stunned for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

The girls had dropped in to Allegra’s room as she began to prepare for this evening’s dance, and had settled themselves in for a chat, as was their habit. She loved it, feeling for the first time in her life as if she was part of a family,as if she actually mattered to someone.

“That’s an odd thing to say.” She answered Penelope’s question cautiously, not sure where this particular topic of conversation was heading.

“I mean as far as getting into a serious relationship with somebody,” continued Penelope, warming to her theme.

“I know what you mean,” added Grace. “He is very nice to everybody, but doesn’t blink an eye when the loveliest ladies approach him.”

“Exactly. It’s as if he’s just observing life as a bystander, so to speak...he doesn’t get involved with much of anything.”

“And yet look what he is doing for you both.” Allegra was anxious to make sure the girls recognised how fortunate they were in their guardian.

“Oh absolutely, Cousin,” agreed Penelope, “I know we couldn’t ask for a better Uncle, and we’re both so very, very lucky to have him. But that only goes to emphasise my point here.” She aimed an intense look at Allegra.

“His public face is nothing like his actual personality, if you see what I mean. Here, with us, he’s warm and friendly, and everything we could ever want in a guardian or uncle. But out there...” She nodded her head towards the shutters and the city of London which lay beyond. “He’s someone else. Someone,someone aloof, someone who keeps his head and his heart well-guarded.”

“Exactly,” concurred Grace with a little smile at her sister. “Wouldn’t you love to see him after a few too many brandies?” She giggled naughtily. “Just once, I’d love to hear him laugh without holding anything back, or just have some fun for himself, regardless of the consequences.”

Penelope sighed. “We just want him to be happy, Cousin Ally, do you understand? As happy as he’s made us. If only he could find some lady to go completely dotty over...”

Grace laughed. “I can’t see Uncle Pip dotty over anybody, but I would like to see him find someone he can let his guard down with. What do you think, Cousin?”

Allegra miserably realised that there was nothing she’d hate more. Unfortunately, this was one piece of honesty she couldn’t share with her charges.

She paused in her toilette for a moment, laying her brush down on her bureau and turning to the girls. “I think such sentiments betray your good hearts and your love for your Uncle,” she said, choosing each word with care.

“But you must understand that whatever face your Uncle chooses to present to the world is his choice, his decision, and I’m sure is done with good reason. When the time is right, I’m equally sure that he will find someone with whom he can share a warm relationship...” Her heart spasmed as she said this, but she bravely continued. “...and produce an heir for the Allenbridge estates.”

“Urgh...dull,” muttered Grace.

“Rather businesslike, Cousin, but I suppose one gets to be too old for flights of passion,” sighed Penelope, looking quite sad at the thought.

Allegra, who suddenly remembered a pair of blazing blue eyes, could have disagreed, but didn’t.

“Well, we’d best leave you to dress, Cousin. Is there anything we can do for you before we run along?”

Allegra smiled at Grace. “No thank you, dears. I’m quite all right here. Lucy will be up to help you girls shortly, and we don’t want to be late. It’s only a small dance, thank heavens, and we’ll be home at a decent hour, but let’s make sure you continue to uphold the family standards of beauty, shall we?”

And she teasingly shooed the twins off to their rooms to dress.

The room was silent after the door closed behind them, and she offered a little prayer of thanks once more for her good fortune in befriending such lovely girls.

She envied them their optimism, their confidence, and yes,their beauty. Truly, the world was their playground, and their background and heritage such that their lives would continue to be full of joy and excitement, culminating in wedding a mate worthy of their love. Their choices would not be bound by convention, necessity, or business. Allegra knew that Pip would be extra vigilant in his guardianship when it came to matters of the heart.

If only she had been as wise.

Oh, not in her marriage,that had been completely out of her hands. In fact, she was now able to see the past more clearly. Her father had done what was, in his opinion, the most sensible thing for his daughter and found her a husband.

That his naiveté and lack of social familiarity had permitted him to bestow his daughter on a profligate like Falworth, was not really his fault, although Allegra could have wished that other people might have told him the truth about his potential son-in-law.

No, it wasn’t the past that was troubling her, it was the present.

Ever practical, she had to confess to herself that Pip Allenbridge was becoming central to her existence.

His smiles made her knees weak, his touch turned her skin to liquid fire, and the thought of any closer contact between them made her shake and ache in places she’d thought long frozen.

She’d caught herself on occasion staring at his full lower lip and wondering if it was soft or firm when kissed,shamefully, there had been some nights recently when she had wondered how those lips would feel elsewhere on her body.

These feelings scared Allegra as well as aroused her.

Past experiences involving the act of intimacy between a man and a woman had instilled a dislike of the entire business, and she couldn’t reconcile that belief with the trembling awareness that Pip aroused in her.

Where Falworth’s lovemaking had been selfish and savage, Allegra had a feeling that Pip’s would be sensual and tender. She didn’t know why,it must be that lower lip.

While the sensible side of her nature accepted the inevitability of Pip’s marriage, and that someone of his standing simply had to continue the Allenbridge line, the emotional side of her cringed at the idea of him loving someone else, holding and kissing someone else.

She knew she could never even consider playing an important role in his life since her history rendered her quite ineligible. But nevertheless, she yearned for the possibility that theirs might become a closer “friendship”.

The lost and lonely woman who was hiding inside her occasionally emerged and cried out for the touch of his hand.

Recalling herself to the present, Allegra shook her head against these fanciful notions, and firmly picked up the hairbrush, using it so aggressively, her eyes watered.

Her gown for the evening was hanging in front of her wardrobe. Simple and elegant, she discovered she was finding her feet, fashion-wise. Not for her the fussy, over-ruffled, figured satins or the extraordinarily daring muslins that some brave and notorious ladies went so far as to dampen so that they would cling and reveal even more of the wearer’s figure.

No, Allegra knew that she looked and felt her best in gowns that flattered her taller-than-average frame with an excellent line and straightforward cut.

This evening, it was a deep burgundy silk embroidered around the single flounced hem with tiny gold stars. The high cut bodice was modest, showing very little of Allegra’s cleavage, but also defining a pleasantly rounded bosom. Tiny puffed sleeves were edged with the same golden embroidery, as were the ribbons beneath her breasts. Long white gloves and a shawl of matching soft wool completed her ensemble, and reaching for her reticule she caught a glance at her reflection in the piers glass.

Stopping, Allegra gazed at herself for a long moment, initially surprised at the image of grace and sophistication that stared back at her.

For an instant, she felt beautiful, then her usual good sense reasserted itself and she noted the errant curls that no amount of brushing would tame, the complete lack of jewellery, and the unfashionable colour of her eyes.

Having restored her customary belief that she was nothing out of the ordinary, Allegra was able to leave her room with her usual self-possession intact.

That self-possession would have completely deserted Allegra, had she been able to read Pip’s mind as they made their social rounds during the course of the evening.

She had attempted to take a seat with the other chaperones at the side of the small ballroom, but had been forestalled by Nigel Jameson, who had refused to take no for an answer and teasingly bedevilled her until she stood up for the first country dance with him.

This had opened the door for several other gentlemen who had begun to realise that Lady Falworth was actually able to converse without tripping over her feet, and might not be attempting to trap them into marriage with every third word out of her mouth.

Consequently, Pip had to grit his teeth and watch as Allegra’s hand was solicited for almost every dance, and by some of the more mature and interesting men in the room.

He was experiencing an unusual amount of irritation, because his one overwhelming need this evening was to get his arms around Allegra, and if he had to dance with her to do it, then so be it. His temper was fraying rapidly when he approached her, only to find a callow and enthusiastic young cub bowing dramatically before her.

“Lady Ally...” he was about to sputter, when a firm hand grasped his shoulder.

“George, my boy,how’s your father?” This reminder of his youth, from one so advanced in years, managed to reduce the lad to the approximate age of twelve. “I believe I saw Miss Wilkerson over there waiting for a partner. You went to school with her brother last year, didn’t you? Be a good lad and do your duty...”

And before he knew it, the unfortunate Honourable George Wentworth had been herded off to dance with his friend’s sister, which was the ultimate in rotten luck.

Allegra bit her lip. “You are...you are...well, despicable might not be too strong a word,” she whispered, trying not to laugh.

“But I wanted to dance with you,” he complained, leading her onto the floor where a waltz was beginning. “And I certainly wasn’t going to wait while the rest of the men here were favoured ahead of me. Patience isn’t part of the Allenbridge character, you know.”

He took her in his arms and whirled her effortlessly down the room.

His heart stopped as he felt the heat of his hand touch the warm skin of her back through the thin silk of her gown, only to start beating again in double time as their bodies neared, touched, and separated again in the dance. It was the first time they had waltzed, and for Pip, it was a momentous occasion.

For Allegra too.

Fighting the urge to press herself closer to him, she wrenched her thoughts back from forbidden matters and concentrated on the assembled company.

“The girls are in great good looks this evening, are they not?” She spoke calmly, not betraying by a flicker the fact that her skin had turned into an erogenous zone and his hand was stimulating it to unimagined levels of sensitivity.

“Yes indeed,” he murmured, holding her a tiny bit closer. “The girls are indeed in great good looks.”

His eyes remained fixed on her face, as she glanced quickly up at him, leaving her in little doubt as to his meaning. His lips curled slightly as he noted her blush.

She cursed inwardly, knowing he’d realise that she wasn’t as calm and collected as she’d like him to believe.

Their steps matched faultlessly as the music continued. Allegra surprised herself with her ability to negotiate the most challenging of figures, and couldn’t help but grin happily up at Pip as he guided her neatly and gracefully through a reverse turn.

“Well, that should show them.” She chuckled in an attempt to defuse her vibrating senses with a little humour.

“Show who?”

“All the tabbies who’re watching us so closely right this minute and waiting for one of us to do something that will make their breakfast conversation interesting.”

Pip glanced around, and sure enough, eyes slid away quickly from the couple as he surveyed the crowd ringing the dance floor.

“Well, let me see,” he pondered, not releasing his grip on her. “I could step on your gown and rip off a nice piece of silk, thus exposing your ankles to the hungry eyes of the Ton. That ought to be worth five minutes of gossip.”

“I’d rather you didn’t,” she answered calmly, only a slight curve of her lips betraying her acceptance of his joke.

“We could attempt a dip when we reach the chaperones’ seats?”

“Definitely not.”

“Not a dipper, eh?”

“No dips. I think we reached the level of my waltzing skills with that neat reverse turn you surprised me with just now.”

“Ah, Cousin Allegra. I doubt that we have even begun to test the level of your skills.” His voice dropped a little and his grip tightened.

The breath left her body, and for a second the room swam about her in a kaleidoscope of coloured lights.

She risked a look at Pip through her eyelashes, and was amazed at the glitter in the vivid blue eyes that were fixed on her face.

Heat started to spread over her cheeks and down towards her breasts, and it got worse as she noted Pip’s gaze following its course beneath her bodice.

Thankfully, the music came to a loud conclusion, and she was able to recover herself while curtseying deeply to Pip and allowing him to lead her off the floor.

Several faces disappeared behind hands and fans as the couple made their way through the crowd. Allegra was almost certain she could hear the whispers follow them. She heaved a sigh of relief as they reached Penelope and Grace, who were standing with Sir Vivian next to the punch table.

“What a lovely waltz, you two,” congratulated Grace.

“Indeed, Cousin Ally, we want you to teach us that clever reverse,” smiled Penelope. Fanning herself with her hand, Allegra passed the moment off with a smile.

“You’d do better to ask your Uncle,he’s the brave soul who risked his toes by attempting it. But I must admit, it was quite exciting.”

If they only knew exactly how exciting she had found the dance...

“Forgive me, girls, gentlemen, I need a few moments” She had to get away from Pip and breathe; it was as if he sucked all the air out of her lungs with his presence tonight.

She made her way to the Ladies’ Withdrawing room and was able to cool the heat in her cheeks with a damp cloth and a little lavender water thoughtfully put out for guests by their hostess.

Returning to the ballroom, she heard her name and automatically paused; two women standing next to the stairs were holding a conversation. Since she was coming down those same stairs, she was all but invisible to them, but she could hear them quite clearly.

She opened her reticule quietly, knowing that she should move away and not eavesdrop, but completely unable to do so. She would tell herself off later for being such a wicked woman.

“Allegra Falworth, did you say? I swear I know that name from somewhere,” said one voice.

“No countenance at all. Whatever is the matter with Lord Allenbridge? He could do so much better. And he never dances at these things...did you see how close he was holding her?” A shrill edge betrayed a certain jealousy on the part of the speaker.

Allegra allowed herself a naughty smirk.

“Well, it’s time he settled down, but certainly not with some nobody who is no more than a paid companion. I heard she was a servant somewhere before he sent for her.”

“Do you suppose they are...” There was a whispering sound as the two heads leaned towards each other, and no matter how hard she tried, Allegra couldn’t catch what followed.

It didn’t take much imagination to fill in the blanks, however, and Allegra felt herself conflicted.

Part of her was dying to round the banister and confront the gossips, making her relationship and her position in the Allenbridge household quite clear. The other half of her was yearning to be able to say “Yes, we are.”

Allegra grimaced as she realised that this night was probably going to end with a pounding headache and his name was Pip Allenbridge.