Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

C olson

I should have thought this through a little better. I’d showered at the end of my shift, so at least I didn’t stink, but I only had dirty clothes in my bag and not one toiletry item. My phone was about to die and the charger was back in my truck, which was parked at the airport back home. Somewhere in the airspace above Arizona it occurred to me that I was reacting out of anger and fear, something I told myself years ago I wouldn’t do anymore. What was it about that short woman that fired me up into a person I didn’t recognize?

“You going to eat those crackers or what?” the old lady next to me crowed several decibels louder than one should on an airplane.

I blinked out of my thoughts and handed her the bag of crackers the flight attendants had handed out earlier. She snatched it up and ripped it open like she hadn’t eaten in days.

“Big boy like you should be eating more.” It came out a bit garbled, considering she hadn’t finished swallowing her mouthful of crackers before she gave voice to her unwanted opinion. “You pining over a girl?”

The guy on the other side of me—thank you last-minute flight for the middle seat—turned up the volume on his headphones and turned away. I didn’t have the luxury of tuning her out since I didn’t bring headphones on this spontaneous trip.

“I’m just thinking. Quietly. In my head.”

The woman’s eyes were comically huge behind her wire-rimmed glasses. “A man? Thinking?” She started cackling.

Okay, well, I didn’t need to sit here and be insulted. Not with the mood I was in. I flipped my tray table up and stood, heading to the bathroom. Maybe she’d fall asleep before I got back to my seat. Luck was finally on my side. The woman’s mouth hung open as she leaned against the window, snoring as loudly as she talked. But my phone was sitting on my seat, plugged into her charging cord. I appreciated her helping my phone situation, but I was still very careful getting back in my seat, sure not to jostle her and wake her up.

When we landed in Texas, her kindness allowed me to call up a ride share to head to Boon’s condo downtown. The city was as busy as my thoughts, only amplifying the anger stewing in my gut. I wasn’t at all like Boon: I hated the city. I’d only visited him once since he was traded to this latest team. The fancy doorman at the entrance checked his list and let me head inside. Bass thumped down the hallway when the elevator doors opened on Boon’s floor. I groaned when I realized it was coming from his condo. I knocked, but no one answered. The door was unlocked, however, so I stepped right in.

To chaos.

Okay, it wasn’t exactly chaos. It was a party, but in my foul mood, they were pretty much the same thing. All the pretty people held drinks in their hands, dancing to the music or shouting at each other to be heard over it. I got a few glances, probably because I clearly didn’t fit in here. Maybe they thought the local fire department had been called for a disturbance. Either way, they gave me a wide berth as I pushed through, looking for Boon.

I found him in the kitchen, his hand on some woman’s hip, his smarmy grin guaranteeing there was bullshit coming out of his mouth as he told her something to make her throw back her head and laugh. That was the thing with Boon; he always had the right thing to say to bring a smile to your face. The woman shifted closer and said something back, which I missed because it was so fucking loud, even here in the kitchen.

“’Sup, asshole,” I shouted by way of greeting.

The woman startled and Boon’s head whipped up, transforming into a smile that split his face. The poor woman was forgotten in the blink of his brown eyes.

“Bro!” He pivoted and pulled me into a back-slapping embrace before he stepped back, his hands on my shoulders, as he studied me. “Dude. You been lifting weights? You’re jacked!”

I shrugged his hands off me. “I don’t play with a little ball all day. I do manual labor. Get my hands dirty. Save lives. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Fuck off,” he drawled, not losing that smile one bit. This was our schtick. We gave each other crap until we hit a nerve. We were damn good at this game, much to Mom’s horror when it sometimes devolved into shoves and sucker punches. “At least I don’t have that unfortunate scraggly mange on my upper lip like you. Is that fashionable in the sticks these days?”

I stroked my mustache, feeling defensive. “The ladies have no complaints about it…”

Boon scoffed. “I don’t have any complaints from the ladies either.”

I would never tell him, but he looked good. Healthy and fit, like usual. You couldn’t be a professional baseball player for as many years as he had without being an athletic specimen, but he was starting to show the years in the fine lines fanning out from around his eyes. Hell, if he was looking old, as his older brother, I most certainly looked even older. I definitely felt it tonight.

Sadly, all this brotherly bonding had sent Boon’s woman somewhere else. I should have felt badly about that, but if Boon’s track record was anything to go by, he wasn’t serious about her anyway. He opened the fridge and grabbed me a beer, popping the top and handing it to me.

“Not that I’m mad you’re here but…why are you here, Colson?”

I took a long drink from the bottle before answering. “I’m not really sure. Just needed to get out of town and clear my head.”

Boon studied me. It was unnerving. Usually he’d be cracking more jokes by now. “Oh, fuck. You caught feelings and tried to put a ring on it, didn’t you?”

I put my beer down and cracked my knuckles. “Her name is Tully. And yeah, I caught feelings. Way back in eighth grade. But no, I didn’t try to put a ring on her finger again.”

Boon held his hands up like he wanted peace between us when we both knew he’d love to get in a little scuffle like when we were kids. “So, if it’s all good and you’re getting it on the regular, why do you look like you want to hurt my pretty face?”

I gritted my teeth and tried to remember why I flew out here. I didn’t really have a reason. It just wasn’t Blueball.

Boon put his hand on my arm and turned me toward the door. “Listen, I don’t mean to be in your business. If you want to talk about it, great. But there’s plenty of people here you can talk to. Women too, if you’re up for it.”

I shrugged off his hand, feeling nauseous. “No! I didn’t come here for a party, Boon! I just needed space to think and all this fucking noise isn’t helping.”

He held his hands up again. “Whoa. Okay. Give me a second to get everyone out.” He whirled around and left the kitchen. The music cut off a few seconds later, a chorus of boos echoing afterward. I leaned against his kitchen counter and rubbed the back of my neck. Fuck, I was wound tight and in a really bad mood. It wasn’t fair to come to Boon last minute and make him cut his party short just because I was going through something.

I just didn’t know where else to go.

“Hey.” Boon walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a fresh six-pack of beer out of the fridge. “They’re all gone. Let’s go out on the balcony.”

I followed him, seeing that the place had, indeed, cleared out. He opened a floor-to-ceiling glass door and led us to padded chairs out on a balcony with views of the whole city. The breeze over the half wall of plexiglass was a nice addition to a warm, summer night. He handed me a beer and we sat in silence, sipping the IPA and watching the lights below. My thoughts eventually slowed down, circling around one central truth.

I’d allowed myself to be right back where I was nineteen years ago. I’d learned nothing.

Turning to Boon, I ignored the bustling city below us and told him all about Tully, Blueball, the fundraiser, the fire, the way we’d come back together again. By the time I got done, we’d each drained another beer.

“I fucking did it again. I gave my heart to her and now she’s leaving.”

Boon put his empty beer bottle on the ground with a clink. “Did she say she’s leaving? Isn’t a reality show filmed onsite?”

His question stopped me in my tracks. I actually hadn’t thought through the logistics of a reality show. Television wasn’t really my area of expertise, it was Tully’s.

“I…I’m not sure.”

Boon gave me a look only a brother can give you. “Seriously? You flew all the way out here without even talking to her? Fuck, man, even I know that’s a dick move.”

“I needed space to think,” I shot back. I was feeling more than a little bit defensive. I was also feeling a bit sheepish for flying off the handle.

Boon nodded. “I get that. But leaving without talking to her about the show? About your relationship? The relationship you have today , not two decades ago. That was an entirely different relationship.” Boon huffed and pulled out another beer, not bothering to hand me one. “Although the way you’re acting, it sure seems like two decades ago all over again. You gonna move to some obscure town again to run away from her?”

I kicked his chair and he kicked the leg of mine right back. But the fucker made a lot of sense. I couldn’t get my mouth to form the words, but my brain was now spinning again, this time with an entirely new thought.

I’d walked away last time without a fight, thinking Tully was better off without me. Or had I just walked away to save my pride?

Well, fuck pride. I was too old to keep doing this shit. I had no pride left. I was going back to Blueball to lay it all on the line. I wanted Tully in my life, whatever way that looked like.

The night got darker and the sounds of the city got quieter, but still we sat there, staring at the sky in companionable silence. It was just after midnight when Boon stood up and stretched.

“I got a game at one tomorrow. You coming or are you going back to get your girl?”

I stood up too. “I’m going to your game. And then I’m flying back home to get my girl.”

Boon grinned, clapping me on the shoulder. “Fuck yeah, bro.”