Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

T ully

This was probably the strangest, yet best week I’d had in years. Colson and I were still living under Gigi’s roof, but Mama’s kitchen was almost done and it was truly a work of art. Our mamas were giving us not-so-subtle side-eye all the time, which made it quite hard to sneak around. We’d been interrupted every time Colson and I tried to sneak out of the house for nefarious purposes. I was starting to think we were being thwarted on purpose.

Despite that, I still tiptoed into his room every night to sleep. The man had made snuggling an art form, especially when he woke me up with work-rough hands massaging my back, legs, and arms.

Today I was out on the coast, helping Em build the fireplace in the incredible living room of her rich client. The rock I’d ordered from a tiny place in New York, who sourced all their material from Italy, had finally arrived. Pip and Savannah slipped back into the room to gawk as Em and I were installing the rock. It was dirty, hard work, especially because Em wasn’t cleared to be back to full workload, which meant I needed to step up to help.

“Don’t you two have some bathroom vanities to install?” Em barked, nearly sending me off my ladder. The woman was tiny but she possessed a bark definitely worse than her bite.

The two ran from the room with barely repressed peals of laughter. I turned to look at their retreat, making my own laughter bubble up. Pip had both meaty fists in the air, middle fingers raised. Em just rolled her eyes and bit back a smile. I’d tried to keep the same relaxed, friendly atmosphere on my show, but quickly found that constant cameras, microphones, and bossy directors kept most of the people around me from relaxing enough to be friendly in return.

“I love it here,” I said wistfully, realizing this warm glow coming from my chest was new.

Em pulled the measuring tape from her tool belt and eyed the next piece of rock to install. “Yeah, the crew is a little unruly, but there’s a lot of love too.”

I watched Em work, climbing back down to get the next rock slab for her. I managed to get it up the ladder with a lot of grunts and renewed sweat breaking out on my top lip. We got it fitted in place and made sure the thick glue held it before we released it and leaned back to assess the placement.

“Probably wasn’t easy assembling an all-women crew.”

Em looked over at me. “Worth it though. Now Georgia can grow up seeing that a woman can do anything she wants.” Em descended her ladder and I followed. “There was a time I let life happen to me. I felt like a victim, and I don’t ever want my kids to feel like that.”

I nodded, thinking I’d felt that way ever since I’d gotten fired. “What did you do to change that?”

Em looked over the next few rocks, trying to pick out the best one for the next empty spot. “I got busy choosing my life instead of letting things happen to me. That way, if life sucked, that was on me. Too many people are willing to sit back and let life pass them by and just complain about it. Not me. If I don’t like something, I either get over it as quickly as I can or I do something to change it. Life’s too short to be unhappy all the time.”

Well, shit. Now I could see why Warrick was enamored with his wife. There wasn’t a day I’d been working for her when he hadn’t stopped by to bring her some food, a baby to kiss, or just to take a moment and tell her how amazing she is. I’d been thinking she was one of the lucky ones to snag Warrick, but maybe she’d worked damn hard to have that kind of relationship. Maybe if I put more work into my relationships instead of just my career, they could flourish too.

“Hey, Em? Do you mind if I get out of here early today?”

She glanced up. “Sure. We’ve already made more progress on this fireplace than I thought we would.”

I lurched forward and wrapped her in a hug, startling her. She laughed in my ear and then patted me on the back. I released her and took off, not even bothering to take off my tool belt until I got to my car. I took one wrong turn, but I made it to the little neighborhood that Joey and Gabi had bought into when they first got married. I wasn’t sure if they even still lived there, but sadly, that was the only information I had for getting ahold of my old friend. Colson and Joey had been friends since elementary school, but Gabi and I had become fast friends once we all started dating in high school. The four of us had been thick as thieves back in the day.

Stopping outside the dark gray house with a white porch railing, I tried to look for signs that the house might still be Gabi’s. I didn’t have to look long. The woman herself came out on the porch, hand up to her eyes to shield the sun. She waved and I turned the car off, taking a deep breath. I climbed out and headed for her.

“Hey. I wasn’t sure if you still lived here.”

Gabi leaned against the porch railing, arms crossed over her chest. Her pretty face was made even more so with a wry smile. She hadn’t changed much. Still had long raven-black hair, tan skin, and colorful clothes. Maybe she had a few more lines on her face and filled out her skinny jeans a bit more, but she looked good. She looked happy.

“I’m sure you didn’t. You actually need to stay in touch with people to know if they move.”

Yep. Still the same Gabi. I grinned right back at her. “Oh, is that what you’re supposed to do?”

She rolled her eyes, then reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me up the last stair. “Get up here and spill the tea before all my angel spawn come home from school and demand I be a parent.”

We sat in two Adirondack chairs on her porch. “I don’t have much tea to spill. I mostly came by to apologize.”

Gabi snorted. “For what? Ditching me for two decades? Or for being back in town for weeks without coming by?”

I winced. “I’d almost forgotten how direct you can be.”

“Oh! Or for getting back in Colson’s bed when you have no business hurting that man again?”

Oof. Make that four people who’d warned me not to hurt Colson. I waited her out. When she didn’t add another reason to be mad at me, I cautiously addressed the elephant in the room. “I’m sorry for all those things, actually. But mostly the first two. The third is between me and Colson.”

Gabi’s lips pursed. “Fair enough.”

“I really am sorry for leaving and not looking back. I should have stayed in touch with you.”

“Yeah, that was a bitch move.”

I bowed my head. “I deserve that. I honestly just figured you’d take Colson’s side, what with Joey and him being best friends. I felt weird about making contact when it might stir up trouble for you. And I’ll be honest. I was hell-bent on proving myself and it kind of took over my life for awhile.”

Gabi studied me with furrowed brows. Then her face cleared. “I forgive you. Just don’t do that shit again.”

It was just that easy with Gabi. I reached over and squeezed her hand. “Thank you. And trust me, I won’t. Along with a few gray hairs, I’ve learned a thing or two these past few years.”

Gabi clapped her hands together. “Okay, enough of that. Spill the tea! Tell me all about your glam Hollywood friends!”

I shifted in my chair. “Well…”

Gabi gaped at me. “Seriously? I swear I won’t say a word.”

I waved my hand in the air between us. “No, no. It’s not that. It’s just that I don’t really have any Hollywood friends.”

Gabi sat back abruptly. “What do you mean? You lived there for twenty years and dated that guy from CSI. Oh! And the guy from that soap opera!”

I nodded. “Yeah, I did, but we aren’t friends.” I felt a lot of shame about giving so much of my life to a place that spit me out when I was down. Then again, Gabi deserved the truth. “Hollywood’s not a place where you can make real friends, a hard lesson I learned when I was fired from my show.”

Gabi worried her lip. Then she shot to her feet. “Well, then their Botox has eaten their brains! You’re a good friend—when you aren’t ditching people for fame and fortune.”

I barked out a laugh that held zero humor. “Everyone in Hollywood is seeking fame and fortune, which is why there’s no true friendships.”

The hiss and squeak of a bus braking a few houses down caught our attention. Gabi looked back at me. “Prepare yourself. They’re a lot.”

I stood, watching loud kids stream off the bus. “What are their names?”

“Beth, Daniel, and Frankie. Senior, junior, and freshman. Why I thought having three kids back-to-back-to-back was a good idea is beyond me.”

Two girls and a boy headed our way, all with black hair and various shades of dark skin. The tallest girl saw me first, her face breaking into a big grin. “Tully Starling!”

“Oh my God, Mom. I thought you were lying when you said you used to be friends with her!” the shorter girl said hurrying to catch up to her sister. “What are you doing here ?” The sneer in her voice was obvious.

The boy just gave me a once-over and shrugged. He lifted a single finger in a half-ass wave and headed inside, music blaring from his headphones. The two girls surrounded me, talking all at once. Gabi rolled her eyes, but I could see the pride on her face. I’d missed my best friend becoming a mom. I’d missed a whole town rallying around one of their own. I’d missed a lot of things.

We went inside and chatted. The girls finally calmed down enough and we even had a normal conversation as I helped Gabi make dinner for the crew. Joey was working tonight, so he wouldn’t be home. When Gabi asked me to stay, I happily accepted.

Over dinner, Frankie, the youngest, expressed interest in leaving Blueball. Gabi’s lips tightened when Frankie asked me all kinds of questions about LA. I was honest with her, telling her that the weather was nice, but that was about the best thing it had to offer. I saw so much of myself in Frankie, bright-eyed and vivacious, ready to take on the world. She didn’t even stop to consider that she had everything that mattered right here in her hometown.

By the time I left, the streetlights were on and my friendship with Gabi was reestablished. She hugged me goodbye and I promised to be back soon. As I drove through downtown to get back to Gigi’s place, I looked at every storefront with new eyes. Shopkeepers waved goodnight as they closed up. Families stood in line at the ice cream shop and older couples sat on park benches under the huge oak trees. There wasn’t one spot of graffiti or trash to be seen.

On impulse, I pulled into an empty spot at the south end of the park and got out. I just wanted to soak up the sights, sounds, and smells of my hometown. I had a new appreciation for the place, one I hadn’t been able to feel when I was younger. I was so busy looking to make something of myself, I hadn’t realized that I already was somebody to everyone here. They all knew my name, my family, and would have supported me through anything if I’d just asked. Instead, I ran, looking for validation from strangers who only appreciated me if I offered them something they wanted.

An older couple stood on the bridge sharing an ice cream cone. I could barely see them as the night sky took over. They laughed at something and kept eating their ice cream like they were best friends. I pulled out my cell phone and snapped a quick picture. It was blurry and probably too dark, but I wanted to remember this night. I wanted to remember the answer that screamed in my head when Frankie asked me her question.

What are you doing here?

I was finding myself for the second time.

I posted the picture to my social media, the first time I’d posted since the morning I got fired. The caption was simple.

Home .