Chapter 38

D arcy arrived at Netherfield Park the Saturday before the wedding, the same day his aunts, uncle, and Anne arrived. Lord and Lady Matlock had travelled to Rosings Park from Hilldale, arriving the previous day and with Lady Catherine and Anne, they had departed early Saturday morning.

Mary and Richard had been present to welcome the arriving Fitzwilliams and de Bourghs, but Darcy's arrival shortly after them had not been expected. There were black rings under his eyes from lack of sleep, he looked somewhat drawn, and his usually form fitting clothing was a little loose, indicating that he had not been taking all of his meals. After making sure his parents, aunt, and Anne were shown to their chambers by Mrs. Nichols, Richard invited William to join him in the study.

As soon as the door was closed Richard turned towards his cousin, the look on his face was not a pleasant one. "William, I want you to stand up with me, but any repeat of the incivility you have shown to those who are about to become my family will cause a rift between us, one I cannot see a way to overcome." Richard took a deep breath. Until he had seen William, he had not realised how much pent up anger he had felt for the way his cousin had been behaving. "I can understand you proposing to Lizzy, she is a diamond of the first waters. Were you addlepated to say what you did to her? How could you not see what all of us saw, that she disdained you and only tolerated your company because of politeness?"

"Peace Richard," Darcy responded without rancour. " Perhaps I was indeed addlepated, as that would at least explain my abhorrent behaviour, arrogance, and improper pride."

Richard felt the anger bleed out of him at his cousin's words. Even though William had been contrite in the wording of his letter to Lizzy, Richard had worried it had been a temporary improvement like there had been after the set down his cousin had received from his parents. He felt optimism that William had in fact begun to change for the better.

Seeing the change in Richard's countenance, Darcy pushed on. "In fact, the only thing I desire is to apologise to the Bennets, especially Miss Elizabeth, in person. I know I should not have written her a letter, but you know how much better I am able to express myself with a pen than aloud when I am perturbed."

"That is true William, and I am pleased to see there is true remorse in your words and bearing. I will make a suggestion; one you have heard Aunt Catherine state on more than one occasion: ‘you will never be a true proficient until you practice.' You are an intelligent man and if you take the time to think about what you need to say like you do before you put pen to paper, you will find yourself able to express yourself verbally without placing your Hessian in your mouth."

"Until recently, it was more that I was doing it so much, there was hardly a respite during the time it took me to change feet," Darcy stated self-deprecatingly.

Seeing his cousin able to laugh at himself was the surest sign of his improvement. In the past, his pride would have precluded him doing so, and he would have bristled had someone had the temerity to laugh at the great Fitzwilliam Darcy.

"It is good to see the man I knew you could be finally emerging." Richard clapped his cousin on the back .

"Is Miss Mary still present or has she returned to Longbourn?" Darcy enquired, then he realised who he had not seen. "Where is Anna?"

"Anna is at Longbourn with Charity and the De Melvilles," Richard averred. "Yes, Mary is still here, she is chatting with Mother if I am not mistaken. We are all for Longbourn soon."

"If she agrees, I would like to begin by begging your fiancée's pardon. Also, if you think it is wise, may I join you when you visit the Bennets? Contingent on their willingness to see me, I need to make my amends to them."

"Your letter went a long way to smooth over the resentment you had engendered from the Bennets. William, as I am sure you are aware, I cannot speak for them, however, my belief is they will allow you to make your apologies." Richard paused as he thought of his two brothers to be. "Fair warning, the older Bennet son is Mary's twin and the younger one worships the ground on which Lizzy walks. They were not as sanguine with your letter as the rest of the Bennets, and still harbour some doubts of your sincerity. You may have a more difficult time winning them over."

"Richard, I am the only one who made my bed, now I must lie in it."

"Come, let us seek Mary out," Richard suggested as he clapped his cousin on his back again.

~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~

"Mary dear, we," Lady Elaine inclined her head to her husband, "would like you to address us as Mother and Father. We know from spending Christmastide with you that your parents are Mama and Papa, and as such there should be no confusion."

"My soon to be niece already addresses me as Aunt Catherine," Lady Catherine stated smugly, "and of course she addresses my Annie as Anne. "

"It will be my honour to address you as Mother and," Mary turned towards the Earl, "you as Father." Before anyone could aver, Richard entered the drawing room with a rather subdued William in tow.

"Dearest, William would like to address you, if you are willing for him to do so," Richard told his beloved.

"Should we leave?" Lord Matlock asked as he began to rise from his seat.

"No Uncle Reggie, you all need to hear this too," Darcy averred. The Earl sat down again.

"I do not object to hearing what Mr. Darcy has to say," Mary decided with the hint of ice in her voice.

"Miss Mary and Richard, I request your forgiveness for my unconscionable, and pretentious attempt to interfere between you," Darcy began. "As I learnt to my detriment at Hunsford, I am the last person in the world who is qualified to judge the relationships of others given how terrible I am at what I considered was wooing and courting. Even without that, I had no right to attempt to substitute my judgement for your own. Additionally," he looked directly at Mary, "I beg your pardon for my unkind, and complete wrongheaded allusions to a pecuniary reason for your marrying Richard." Darcy turned towards his Aunts, Uncle, and Anne. "For my unwarranted and improper pride as well as behaviour, I am able to now see my honoured parents would have been disgusted with my attitude and I can only express how sorry I am."

Mary was able to detect sincerity and unreserved contrition in Mr. Darcy's words. Even had it not been her Christian duty to forgive, she would have on seeing the contrite man standing before her waiting for her response.

"For myself, I forgive you, Mr. Darcy. We will be cousins in a few days after all," Mary smiled.

"In that case will you consider calling me William, or at least Cousin William?" Darcy suggested.

Before Mary could reply, Lady Catherine's voice was heard. "It is well you have come to make amends, but what possessed you to behave as you did in the past? I used to hold myself above everyone else, but your mother set me to rights. You should have known better William."

"You have the right of it, Aunt. I cannot fix the past, so all I can do is endeavour never to repeat my former actions and behaviour," Darcy owned.

"See that you do not," Lady Catherine commanded imperiously.

"As to your question to me, yes I will call you William as long as you address me as Mary," Mary decided. Darcy bowed over her hand.

"Please be ready, we will make for Longbourn in an hour," Richard stated.

~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~

Elizabeth was strolling in the park with Jane, Wes, Tommy, Anna, Charity, Alicia, and Lilly. Henry was with his father in the study going over ledgers. Although they were in sight of the rest of them, Jane and her fiancé were sitting on a bench out of earshot.

Alli and Lilly were seated on the swing which was hanging from the ancient oak tree in the middle of the park, lazily pushing themselves back and forth with their feet. Tommy was walking with Anna on one side and Charity on the other. Elizabeth was on Anna's other side when she heard the sounds of carriages in the drive.

To say Darcy was not nervous about his reception at Longbourn would have been a lie. As he had never visited the Bennets' estate previously, he was taken aback at the size of both the house and the parts of the park he was able to see. All he could do was shake his head at his former blindness. Another of his misconceptions was killed when he recognised some of the footmen on duty in front of the house, the ones he had told himself Richard was paying for.

By the time the seven had been shown to the drawing room, Bennet and Henry, who had been notified guests had arrived, were seated with Cilla and the De Melville parents. The de Bourghs were introduced to those who did not know them and then it was Darcy's turn to be introduced to the one Bennet in the room he had not met.

Henry glared at the man. However, when he looked at Mary, she shook her head to tell him to stand down.

Cilla saw the way Mr. Darcy was searching the room. "Your sister and the rest of the young people are in the park, if anyone desires to join them," Priscilla stated.

"Mary should we?" Richard offered his fiancée his arm. "Are you coming William?"

"Father, am I excused for now?" Henry asked.

Bennet was aware his sons were not as forgiving as the rest of them with regards to Mr. Darcy and the insults he had directed at their sisters. He was also sure the boys would never do anything improper, but he understood Henry's desire to keep an eye on how Mr. Darcy treated his sisters. He waved his hand towards the door and Henry made haste to follow the other three.

Darcy walked next to Richard as they made their way into the park. Mary slowed a little and indicated Henry should join her. Very quickly and quietly, Mary conveyed the gist of the apology she had received and her full and unreserved forgiveness. Knowing his twin sister's judgement was sound, Henry relaxed somewhat.

Elizabeth had turned to look at Jane and Wes, so she did not see the four enter the park. She became fully aware when she heard Anna squeal, "William, I did not think to see you until after the ball." She ran into her brother's open arms. Darcy enfolded her into a warm hug and kissed the crown of her head.

"I have missed you too, Sweetling," he stated warmly.

Although Anna had told Elizabeth what a good brother Mr. Darcy was, it was good to see the devotion between the siblings for herself. She noticed how Tommy bristled as soon as he realised who the unknown man was. She placed a hand on his arm to calm him.

"Were you not to arrive next week?" Georgiana questioned.

"Should I go away until then?" Darcy teased. "The horses only need a few hours rest and then I can do so."

"No silly, I do not desire your absence. It was a surprise, but a good one," Georgiana stated as she gave her brother a playful look of admonition. "Did you greet Charity yet? Did you know we have been hosted at Longbourn?"

"It is hard to speak to Charity when you were speaking, and as long as you are behaving and enjoying your stay here, I am happy for you." Darcy paused and smiled at his sister and her best friend. "Will you two want to leave your new friends and travel with me into Derbyshire? I suspect not."

‘ Who is this man and what has he done with the dour, proud, and arrogant Mr. Darcy? ' Elizabeth asked herself silently. ‘ How different would things have been had I met this man at the assembly in November? '

"William, this young firebrand is Thomas Bennet, the younger, but we all call him Tommy," Richard introduced playfully to put the youngest Bennet at ease. "Tommy, this great big tall fellow is your soon-to-be cousin , Fitzwilliam Darcy, who as you heard, we all call William."

Seeing no antipathy in Miss Elizabeth's looks, something he could not say for her brother he had just met; Darcy was grateful his letter had obviously done some good. "Miss Elizabeth," he bowed in greeting.

"Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth curtsied .

"Miss Elizabeth, I saw a wilderness over there," Darcy pointed, "would you allow me to speak to you, in full view of everyone here, of course?"

Elizabeth saw Tommy, and perhaps Henry too, was about to object. She gave each a quelling look which caused both to hold their peace. "Yes, Mr. Darcy, that is agreeable to me as long as we are close to the rest in the park.

"Tommy and I will be seated on that bench," Henry indicated one near the entrance to the wilderness which had a vista of all of the untamed area. He had accepted that Mr. Darcy had been sincere in his amends, but he knew Tommy—who had a temper like Lizzy's—was apt to act before he thought about it at times. He inclined his head to John Biggs who was keeping a weather eye on those in the park. The big man understood and moved closer to the wilderness area.

The brothers sat on the bench Henry had indicated and Biggs parked himself close to them. All in the vicinity would be able to see if anything untoward occurred.

"I know I said this in writing, but I hoped I would have a chance to apologise to you personally so you can see the sincerity in my countenance. I am truly sorry for all of my ungentlemanlike behaviour starting with those vile words at the assembly, my wilful blindness, and my erroneous assumptions," Darcy stated firmly. "Others in my family pointed out the errors in my ways, but until the reproofs you delivered at Hunsford, I only made superficial changes. Where the pride and prejudice which governed my actions stemmed from, I know not. All I know is that I can never be that man again. You opened my eyes and have made me strive to be a better man."

"You are not the only one who needs to ask forgiveness," Elizabeth replied. "First, you have my forgiveness, and have had it since I read your letter. However, I am not sanguine with the words I used to refuse you. I should not have said what I did."

"There is nothing for me to forgive," Darcy assured her. "What did you say to me, that I did not deserve? Your accusations were not ill-founded, they were well formed, not based on mistaken premises. My behaviour to you at the time, as well as when I was in Hertfordshire, had merited the severest reproofs. My actions and words were unpardonable. I cannot think of them without abhorrence."

"We will not quarrel for the greater share of blame annexed to that day; we have argued more than enough already," Elizabeth asserted. "The conduct of neither, if strictly examined, would be irreproachable, but since then we have both, I hope, improved in civility."

"I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself," Darcy claimed. "The recollection of what I then said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole of it, is now, and has been more than a month, inexpressibly painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied, I shall never forget: ‘ had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner. ' Those were your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they have tortured me; though it took me allowing my anger to dissipate, I confess, before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice."

"I was certainly very far from expecting them to make so strong an impression. I had not the smallest idea of their being ever felt in such a way."

"It is easy to believe. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling—I am sure you did. The turn of your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not have addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me."

"Please do not repeat what I said in Hunsford," Elizabeth cried, "These recollections will not do at all. I assure you; I have been most heartily ashamed of my words since shortly after I said them. In cases such as these, a good memory is unpardonable. I have a proposal of my own." Elizabeth saw his eyebrows shoot up, combined with the wide smile on Mr. Darcy's face, for the first time revealing his dimples. ‘ My he should smile more, ' Elizabeth thought. Aloud she said, "Not that kind of proposal. I think we should begin again and look forward, not back."

"I find that to be an extremely reasonable suggestion." He extended his hand. "Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley."

Elizabeth took his strong hand in her dainty, petite one, "Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn. Pleased to meet you."

Henry and Tommy were watching closely, and although they could not hear what was being said, they could tell from Lizzy's body language she was relaxed. When they saw the two shake hands, even Tommy realised it was time to let go of his residual anger at, but not all of his wariness of, Mr. Darcy. Lizzy was the best at sketching characters and if she accepted he was sincere, then Tommy would be sanguine with it. Seeing the two approaching and both smiling caused all of the remaining resentment either brother felt towards Mr. Darcy to fade away.

Darcy excused himself and approached Miss Bennet and Westmore. With the former's permission, and with the latter seated next to her, Darcy made his apologies, which were accepted without delay.

The last of the Bennet's he apologised to were Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, and the two Bennet brothers. He begged their pardon for all of his wrongheaded speech and behaviour. Like the three Bennet sisters before them, unreserved acceptance was bestowed and the Bennet parents agreed to allow Mr. Darcy to begin again and not allow the past to prejudice them.